Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne, its characters, or any flashbacks from the series used in this story. I also don't own the song "Goodbye To You" by Michelle Branch.
A/N: Yes, this is it. The long-awaited final chapter because the last chapter really didn't give you all any closure. Enjoy.
Tears of the Heart
Of all the things
I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form
behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me
by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm
hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all
over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I
said,
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I
knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to
hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still
get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without
you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place
where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Goodbye
to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one
I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing
that I tried to hold on to
And it hurts to want everything and
nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's
mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye
to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one
I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing
that I tried to hold on to
Goodbye to
you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I
loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing
that I tried to hold on to
And when the stars fall
I will
lie awake
You're my shooting star
-"Goodbye To You" by Michelle Branch
Chapter 15: Goodbye
"But Lord Van!"
"How could you have agreed to this?"
"She was half out of her mind at the time!"
"You can't be serious!"
"It's bad luck, Milord!"
"We won't allow it!"
It seemed like everyone in Van's council had something to say about the "unusual" name that had been chosen for his son. Folken. His deceased brother who had not only abandoned the kingdom but practically destroyed Gaea. A murderer and a coward. Certainly not a name worthy of the heir to the Fanelian throne. His council was about ready to kill Hitomi for even suggesting such a treacherous name for Lord Van's son.
"I'm sorry that you object so strongly to the name of the future king. A child named after my older brother and my wife's friend. Pardon us for choosing a name to honor a departed loved one. I can't believe that we had the gall to name our own child without your consent. Forgive us for our obvious oversight." Van replied coldly, wishing that they'd move on to new business. There had to be something more important than objecting to the name of the young prince at this current moment. There had to be some famine, flood, or uprising that held precedence.
"Lord Van. I'm sorry that you feel that we are abusing our position, but we're merely concerned about you and the kingdom. The name 'Folken' does not strike a pleasant note in the hearts of the people. He's responsible for the destruction of their homes, the deaths of their friends and family members… Lord Van, do you really want to be constantly reminded of your brother's treachery every time you look at your own son?" This advisor, Errol, was one of the only advisors he had ever liked. He trusted his judgment. He'd had his own reservations about the name, but how could he tell Hitomi that she couldn't use the name that she'd picked for their son? It didn't seem just.
"My brother did not die a traitor's death. He finally atoned for his wrongdoings. I've forgiven him. He has hurt me the most out of anyone. I can only hope that my people will forgive him as well."
"You've grown wise, Milord. I trust your judgment." Errol commented, his face softening. He'd watched Lord Van grow up from a little boy. He'd never expected him to become the man standing before him. He was very proud of the boy king of Fanelia. The rest of his council seemed to silence after that. Errol was the oldest one among them. He'd served as an advisor for King Gaou and Lady Varie. What could they do? They let Lord Van have his name.
"Here, Dilandau. Have fun at the festival," Yukari shoved a handful of money into her son's palm.
"Wow, really? Thanks, Mom." Dilandau's eyes widened at the amount of money his mother had bestowed upon him.
"You're welcome. You're going with Keisuke and Mai, right?"
"Yeah. I'm supposed to meet them at Keisuke's and then we'll walk over together."
"Just be careful now, alright?"
"Alright. Bye, Mom." He kissed his mother on the cheek, shoving the crumpled bills into his pocket. In the blink of an eye he was out the door.
"Bye…" she whispered after him, staring at the door. Suddenly she saw a girlish blur whiz past her vision.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Yukari grabbed her daughter by the shoulder.
Kaiya gave her an anxious smile.
"To the festival?" she squeaked.
"Not as far as I know, you're not."
"Well, you see, Mom, Ryo asked me today if I'd go with him. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. If you say 'no' my life will be officially over!"
"Being a bit overdramatic, aren't we?" Yukari asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"I've had a crush on Ryo forever and if I said 'no' he would have never asked me again! Please, Mom, can I go?"
"I guess."
"Yes!" The girl pumped her fist, cheering loudly for all to hear.
"Be back by 10:30 and be careful."
"Thanks, Mom!" She kissed her mother on the cheek and dashed out the door where Yukari now noticed a boy waiting awkwardly in the driveway.
"I guess that we've got the house to ourselves tonight." The voice of Yukari's husband, Amano, appeared from the stairway.
"It appears so."
"So, what should we do?"
"We could just relax."
"Sounds like a good idea to me," Amano agreed. They both collapsed on the couch in the living room. "It's funny. Our kids are growing up. Pretty soon, it'll always be like this."
"Don't say that! I can't believe how old they're getting. Dilandau's going to be graduating from high school next year and Kaiya's going out on her first date tonight! It's too much for a mother to handle!" Yukari sighed, her head resting on her husband's shoulder.
"I wouldn't mind if it were always like this…" Amano whispered, kissing her cheek. "There's nothing wrong with Dilandau and Kaiya growing up, Yukari. It's what children do. I'm blessed to have two good-looking, intelligent, caring children and such a wonderful wife to grow old with. I'm so lucky to have you."
"Amano… There's something that you should know…" she began. She wasn't sure why she'd never told him before. But she was tired of keeping secrets from her husband. She was tired of living a lie. Amano had to know their son's true parentage. It would hurt him, but he had the right to know that he was playing father to another man's son. "Before we were married, I was married to another man. A terrible man. He was cruel and unfeeling. He was the opposite of you in every respect. Marrying him was a mistake I've regretted throughout my entire adult life. We finally separated and I was reunited with you. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done and I… Well, I was pregnant when I left him. I never meant to hurt you, Amano. I just loved you so much, but I didn't have the heart to give up the baby. His father has never even met him. He's dead now. I'm sorry that I kept this from you for so long, but I didn't want to hurt you. You loved Dilandau so much, but it was killing me to not tell you. You should know though, Amano, that you're the only father Dilandau has ever had and the only father he ever will have. Please don't be angry with me."
"Yukari, there was no need for you to be so concerned. I've known your secret for a long time now," Amano sounded very tired, which was quite understandable given the current situation.
"You knew? But why didn't you ever say anything? Does Dilandau know, too?"
"Unless you've told him, he's blissfully unaware for the time being. I don't plan on telling him anytime soon, unless you think that it's appropriate. Yukari, you had Dilandau seven months after our marriage. I could not possibly be the father. I'm not stupid, Yukari. I can do basic math."
"I'm sorry, Amano. I'm so sorry," she whispered, tears beginning to leak from her eyes as she buried her face in his chest.
"Why? Why are you sorry? It couldn't be helped, could it? It wasn't your fault. I don't regret a single thing that I've done. Marrying you was definitely not an exception. And while Dilandau might not be my biological son, he will always be my son. I was there to see his birth, to see him grow. He's a fine young man and I love him very much. Yukari, he is my son by love if not by birth. I have always thought of him as such and that will never change. Do you understand now?"
"Yes. I think that you're wrong though," Yukari replied.
"What about?"
"You're wrong to think that you were lucky to marry me. No one could ever be as lucky as me. I have you," she whispered, kissing him. For once in her life, Yukari felt like the luckiest person on Earth. Perhaps she was.
"Now where could Folken be?" Hitomi asked aloud, wandering deeper into the forest.
"I don't know. Probably eaten by a dragon." Van replied, swinging the hand of his wife that he was holding.
"Well, I guess that we'll have to eat his birthday cake all by ourselves. Too bad. It's Folken's favorite flavor." Hitomi heard a rustle in the nearby bushes and smiled.
"I guess that I'll have to find something to do with that new sword I got for him, too. It was a nice blade. Built for a man. I guess that I'll have to give it to someone else."
"You got him a sword?" Hitomi stopped in her tracks, placing her hands on her hips, glaring at her husband.
"He's old enough." Van defended his gift indignantly.
"He's five!" Hitomi exclaimed in exasperation.
"That's how old I was when Balgus gave me my first sword!"
"That's crazy! He could hurt himself or someone else!"
"He'll be fine!"
"Oh well, I suppose it doesn't matter since we'll never see him again…" Hitomi continued. "You might as well melt that sword into scrap metal…"
"No! Please, Father! Don't melt my sword!" A small boy emerged from the bushes, knocking leaves and twigs out of his hair. Van and Hitomi smiled at the emergence of their mischievous son.
"Oh look! He's alive! I guess that I'll have to give him his sword." Van said teasingly, ruffling his son's hair.
"Drat! I guess that we'll have to share the cake, too." Hitomi feigned annoyance, snapping her fingers, though she couldn't help smiling. They each took one of their son's hands, swinging him between them as they started down the path.
"Where are we going, Mother?" he asked Hitomi, bright eyes filled with curiosity.
"We're going to see someone in the woods."
"Who, Mother?"
"Someone very special." Hitomi whispered, gazing at her son thoughtfully.
"Why does he live in the woods?" the boy asked.
"He doesn't… He doesn't really live there, Darling. He died a long time ago."
"Before I was born?"
"Yes. Many months before you were born."
They finally arrived at their destination. The clearing in the woods where Escaflowne lay dormant. Van had kept his promise and kept it that way since that day almost six years ago now. It looked like a statue, frozen in time.
"Hello, Old friend." Van whispered, placing a hand on the cool exterior of the guymelef. "This, Folken, is Escaflowne."
"Escaflowne! Wow! The guymelef that you used in the Great War? Can I try it?"
"No!" Van and Hitomi both answered simultaneously.
"What we mean is that Escaflowne, although it is very powerful and can save lives, is also very dangerous. Your father bound himself to Escaflowne many years ago and it nearly cost him his life. We hope that you'll never have to pilot this guymelef. As long as there is peace, there will never be a need." Hitomi explained to her son.
"Oh man! Why does he get to have all the fun?" The five-year-old muttered, kicking a rock on the ground.
"You'll understand when you're older." Van tried to placate his disappointed son. He looked up wistfully at the guymelef until seeing Hitomi's 'don't even think about it' look. He sighed. "But Escaflowne's not who we're here to see." he reminded his son gently, leading him to the other side of the clearing where a grave was hidden beneath the shade and mass of a large tree. Hitomi and Van had interred Folken's namesake there. They feared that his grave would be desecrated by Fanelians or other Gaeans if its location was made public knowledge. They hoped by hiding it there that Folken could finally rest in peace.
"This is your Uncle Folken." Van told his son quietly, kneeling down by the grave.
"He's named Folken like me?" The child asked in confusion.
"Yes, Son. We named you after him." Van replied. He suddenly looked very old and tired. "He was strong, intelligent, and compassionate. Traits we hope that you will carry on in his name. He was my older brother and I loved him very much."
"He was a good man. He didn't always make the best decision, but he had a good heart." Hitomi told her son.
"It's sad that he has gone away, isn't it?" Folken asked, sensing the wave of sadness that had washed over his usually chipper parents.
"Yes, Folken, it's very sad." Hitomi whispered, tears filling her eyes. Van rose to his feet, wrapping his arms around her, trying to console her, feeling her grief.
"It's mean of Uncle Folken to make you cry." The boy commented stubbornly. He hated to see his mother cry.
"Oh, don't be mad at him, Sweetheart. It's not his fault." Hitomi replied, pulling him into what was becoming a group hug.
"Did you love Uncle Folken, too?" he asked. There was an awkward silence. Hitomi wasn't sure how to respond to this inquiry. Finally, she decided to take the leap.
"Yes, Folken. I loved your uncle very much. Just like I love you and your father." Hopefully Van wouldn't take that the wrong way. No one could deny that he was a jealous person. He couldn't help it so Hitomi forgave this foible.
Why does it still hurt so much? Hitomi wondered. Folken had died almost six years ago, but his death still felt fresh and heart-wrenchingly painful.
She studied her son through her tear-filled eyes. Folken looked a bit like Van when he was that age. He had scrawny little legs, but still a bit of chubbiness in his face. He wore tan shorts and a green tunic. His eyes were bright green like hers, but his hair was a bit more unexpected. He had light blue hair, just like his namesake. Van had told her that his mother had said that her father's hair was the same color as Folken's, so their son seemed to resemble his paternal great-grandfather. He was adorable and very good-natured. He always had a smile on his face. He had not grown up in a world filled with war and death like Van. He'd known nothing but happy, carefree days in his short life. They'd already ascertained that he had wings like his father, although they were careful to conceal that knowledge from as many people as possible. Some prejudices never died and the Draconian legacy was something that the Fanelian monarchy did not wish to boast about.
The other children were not old enough yet to teach when and when not to use their wings. Their son, Keitaro, was only two and sleeping peacefully in the nursery. His younger sister, Aiko, was only a baby and sleeping nearby in her cradle. Keitaro looked so much like his father that it was scary. Sometimes Hitomi wondered if he was her child at all. He looked like Van's younger twin. He had the same chocolate eyes, dark hair, and tan complexion. Sometimes, when Hitomi was walking by the nursery, she saw him just standing there over his son's crib, staring at him with a look of pride and contentment. It made her heart melt. She had been overjoyed at the arrival of their daughter. She finally had a girl who would someday keep her company in a family previously dominated by men. Aiko looked a bit more like a combination of her parents instead of Van's double like her older brother. She, like Folken, had the green eyes of her mother, but the dark hair of her father. Hitomi felt blessed to have three beautiful children. They seemed to lighten Van's heart. She was glad that she'd been able to help rebuild the family that had been so cruelly taken away from him. They could never replace the loss of Merle, Folken, Balgus, and Van's parents, but she knew that Van loved them with his whole heart.
But still darkness plagued Hitomi's heart. Every time she looked at her eldest son, she couldn't help but wonder where his true heritage lay. True, she and Folken had spent one night together just before his death, but still, once was all it took. She and Van had been married shortly after their return to Fanelia and finally consummated their love. Folken had been born approximately nine months after their wedding. Since they were on Gaea there was obviously no way that she could have a paternity test performed. She didn't dare voice her thoughts to Van. It would kill him to know that his beloved son might be his nephew. His wife's child, fathered by his own brother. Maybe it was better not to know. Maybe it was better to stay like this forever with the man she loved. Too many things had divided them, hurt them, made them wish that they could stop trying. It was time to move on. It was time to love and be loved. Nothing else really mattered anymore.
She wrapped her arms around her small son, hugging him to her chest.
"I'll always love you, Folken," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.
"I'll always love you, too, Mother," the little boy replied, surprised at this sudden outburst of emotion. He didn't understand the double-meaning behind the sentiment. It appeared that Van understood. At first, he was bitter, but bitterness melted into understanding and love, as he wrapped his strong arms around his wife, kissing her temple.
"It's alright, you know," he whispered in her ear. "It's alright to miss him. It doesn't make me angry anymore."
She smiled at him through her tears. It had been a long road, a difficult journey. But somehow, deep in her heart, she'd always known that she'd make it here.
"Thank you, Van. A part of me will always miss him, I think. But, if you must know, now, there is no place that I'd rather be than here with you."
"The feeling is mutual," her husband replied. Folken was sort of pushed out of the group hug as his parents shared a very passionate kiss.
"Ewww! Gross!" the boy commented, closing his eyes in disgust at this display.
"You'll understand when you're older," his father told him after the kiss had ended. He seemed to be saying that a lot lately. "Come on, I'll race you back to the castle!" Van sprinted off, leaving Folken in his dust.
"Hey! No fair! You got a head start!" The small boy tore off after him, both of them leaving Hitomi behind.
She stared at her former husband's grave mutely.
It's still so hard to believe that he's gone. I'm sorry, Folken. But maybe you'd be happy to know that the peaceful world that you envisioned has finally been realized. Your family will no longer have to live in a world full of war. It may not be perfect, but it gets a little better every day. We're doing it for you.
She felt a breeze toss her hair and she smiled.
"Folken… You're right here with us, aren't you? Watching over us… Thank you. I'll never forget you, Folken. You'll always be here with me. In my heart."
She looked into the sky and saw a shooting star. She closed her eyes, making a wish. She felt a sudden warmth overtake her as though someone was holding her in his arms. The star disappeared and the feeling vanished, but she was left with a warm feeling in her heart.
"Thank you. Goodbye, Folken," she whispered, turning back towards the castle. Though she might turn her back now on his grave, she could never turn her back on the past. It defined her. It had made her the wife, the mother, the person that she was today. She no longer regretted what she could not change. Though she might cry, though she might feel pain, she knew in her heart that everything would be alright. And that was enough for her.
The End
A/N: Well that's truly the end of it. There is no more, nor shall there ever be any more. I'm very sorry that it took such a ridiculously long time for this to be posted. It originally was to be the epilogue, but it turned into more of an end than anything else. I've thoroughly enjoyed writing this story. I've edited the previous chapters because they were unbearable for me to associate myself with. You may want to read it again. I changed a lot of things to make it stronger and less cluttered. My old stories are just as bad, but oh well, it's a learning process, isn't it? I started this story 5 years ago next month. That is really pathetic since it only has fifteen chapters and I wholly understand that many of my former readers will never see this ending. It's primarily for those who were more recently acquainted with it and for me. I really just wanted to be able to say that I finished it. I plan on taking down a lot of my earlier stories because it pains me to see how bad they were. I'll save them for nostalgia's sake on my computer, but they'll be nothing but a memory to the community within a very short time. This story I'm keeping up, along with a few of the ones I'm not completely ashamed of. Again, I apologize for the inexcusable amount of time it took for me to finish this story. At least it is finished and it can rest in peace. I'm sorry if any of you were disappointed with the ending in any way. This story took a life of its own. I planned on it ending completely differently when I originally wrote it as a 13-year-old. (That was a very rough sketch, of course, and most of the later chapters were written from scratch, with a few of my old ideas incorporated. Your frame of mind changes a lot from the time you're thirteen to the time you're eighteen.) I'd like to thank everyone who read, reviewed, or even looked at this story. It was my most successful fanfiction ever, it's quite safe to say and I'm very glad that I had the opportunity to share it with all of you. This is my last Escaflowne fanfiction ever unless I come up with some incredible idea that must be expressed. (I highly doubt that.) I started this story when I was in junior high and now I'm heading off to college in the fall. It's incredible, really, how time goes by. If you happen to like Inu-Yasha, my only remaining ongoing story is in that category. If you have time to read it, I would appreciate it.
This story featured a lot of music. I even have a playlist on iTunes for all of the songs in it. If you're interested, this is the order:
"A Thousand Miles"- Vanessa Carlton
"Halfway Around the World"- A-Teens
"Don't Dream It's Over" -Sixpence None the Richer
"Hurt" -Johnny Cash
"We Could Still Belong Together" -Lisa Loeb
"Somewhere Only We Know" -Keane
"Days Go By" -Dirty Vegas
"No Need For Promises" -Ma'aya Sakamoto
"I Will Remember You" -Sarah McLachlan
"Somewhere Out There" -James Ingram & Linda Ronstadt
"Overjoyed" -Stevie Wonder
"Unpredictable" -BBMak
"Bitch" -Meredith Brooks
"Kissing You" -Des'ree
"True Colors" -Cyndi Lauper
"After All" -Peter Cetera & Cher
"Goodbye To You" -Michelle Branch
Again, thank you for your words of encouragement. I enjoy every review I receive. I wish you all the best of luck in the future. I hope to someday become a published author, so who knows? Maybe you'll see my name on a book in Barnes & Noble or Borders someday. (Here's hoping!) Thank you for everything. Bye!