A\N: I do not own these characters. Sorry the chapter's been late I had a serious case of writers block but now the chapter's done I hope you like it. Please leave a review.

"If you want to change attitudes, start with a change in behaviour."
― Katharine Hepburn

Chapter 5: Change

It was the day of the trail and little did Amanda Rollins know that she was in fact nervous or at least a tiny bit anxious about the situation. She hadn't thought about it, only thought about the job she had to do. During the night she'd tossed and turned, Olivia had considered sleeping on the couch but decided better of it and stuck with her partner, as she always did. The pair had dressed and driven to the court house, it was the day of the trail and Amanda had worn a black shirt and a small jacket to match, all of which she had borrowed from Olivia's wardrobe and all of which smelt like Olivia. It was the most comforting part of the whole experience. Casey was the prosecutor which put Rollins at ease and the rest of the detectives were already in court waiting for them.

Benson and Rollins stood outside the doors to the court room, Olivia grabbed Amanda's arm and turned the younger woman to face her. "You don't have to do this you know Amanda, we could think of some other way if you don't wanna do it." Benson urged, trying her hardest not to show her undying feeling to sweep Rollins off her feet and away from any harm that may come to her. Rollins turned around, "Look Liv I'm a big girl, I can look after myself." Rollins grabbed Olivia's hand she pulled it up to her mouth and kissed the top of it, first making sure no one they knew was around. Then they stepped into the court room. All Rollins could remember was the clattering of feet as they scuffed across the floor and the overpowering feeling that Liv was looking at her from across the room. Then later she heard the words. The few words that would change her life.

"In the case of Victoria Clay, I hereby pronounce you guilty." There it was. Casey looked up at her and nodded. Amanda had smiled, looked back at Fin who stood in his usual macho stance and then to Benson and Amaro. Benson seemed worried but she knew she was just being over protective as usual. They had pulled Amanda from the court house and trundled her into a police van and off she went. It had taken a while to get to the prison but all that time Amanda wasn't thinking about her night with Olivia but of the job she had to do, the women she had to save or at least get justice for. The van drove into the prison and she took one small sniff of her jacket, of Olivia before she got out.

Within the hour she was in her orange jumpsuit and white vest top, her hair hung loosely over her shoulders as she watched the other inmates. She had gotten paraded to her cell by a rather unhappy, overworked prison guard whose face seemed to droop in an unnatural manner. There were screams, woops and the occasional reference to her behind all of which Rollins ignored. The droopy faced prison guard escorted her to her cell and left her there. She sat on the bottom bunk in the cramped space twiddling her thumbs and thinking more about her plan.

"What are you in for?" A voice said from above her.

Rollins looked up; she had thought she was alone, apparently not. Standing up she came face to face with a woman not much older than she was, shoulder length brown hair and an intriguing set of green eyes. Rollins had casually looked up at the woman before replying "Possession of stolen goods. What about you?"

The woman nodded as if approving of the crime she had supposedly committed. "Well they tried to get me on murder in the second degree but it didn't work out so they got me on tax evasion instead," the woman jumped down from the bed and put her hand out, "I'm Stella." Rollins shook her hand and replied with, "Vicki."

"You'll need someone to stick with cos you're new; I know what it feels like. So stay with me and you'll be cool." Rollins looked up at Stella, she thought of how this woman just seemed like everyone else; she didn't look like a criminal, far from it. She found it funny how people automatically judged others and wondered how the rest of the team would judge her and Olivia when they eventually knew the truth.

Two days after she had been placed into the prison and Rollins felt like it had at least been a month. Being in there and having to act like a real prisoner had taught her a few lessons, not only who to trust but who was top dog and that information was vital. Stella, the woman she shared the cell with was not top dog unfortunately but everyone knew who she was. If you hadn't found that out who top dog was by two days you had a problem. A serious problem. The experience in a whole was quite changing for Rollins; she hadn't known it at the time. But she would.

The time that she had been away from her team had been interesting; it had helped her clear her head. But most of all it had emphasised her longing to be with Olivia, every hour she could guarantee that she would find something that would make her think of her older, beautiful partner.

Amanda walked out of her cell and down to the cafeteria area and grabbed some food and found a seat next to Stella. She had only been there a short time but she'd already heard whispers about the 'Pre-Prison Rapist' as the girls called him. But the more Amanda pushed the subject into conversation the more the prisoners would retreat. It was as if they were all too scared to say anything, this was what Rollins didn't understand. Surely if you were in prison and were away from the assailant wouldn't you just admit who the rapist was? The girls didn't think that way though.

Rollins picked up an apple and took a bite; she looked up and began to include herself in Stella's crew's conversation. She nodded in the appropriate places and added the small comment here and there but she was really listening to two women behind her. She had caught snippets of the subject and she was sure it was the rapist, the man who had stopped these strong women in their tracks. She made her way back up to the cell after lunch and was accompanied by Stella, who threw something at her as she walked into the cell. Amanda caught it and looked down at the pointed object. It was a shiv made out of toothbrush; Rollins twirled it in her hand and looked at her inmate with a quizzical look.

"We all need to protect ourselves. Just don't go using it on me. K?"

"Thanks." Amanda said sliding the mutilated toothbrush under her mattress.

"So you got anyone out there?" Stella asked.

"What d'you mean, am I seeing anyone?" Stella nodded, "Yeh I am."

"You in love? What's he called?" Her inmate questioned, Rollins took a while to ponder the question before replying with, "Yeh I guess I am in love. And I'm not telling you her name."

"Her?" Stella's eyes widened slightly and Amanda decided to change the subject.

"So who's the Pre-Prison Rapist everyone seems to be talkin about?"

Stella looked up and shook her head. "Nothing, it's a load of whack if you ask me. The girls in here just make up shit to get each other scared; you know what I'm saying." The last of Stella's reply was sharp; it was as if she had hit a nerve. Amanda didn't push it any further that day, if Stella had given her a shiv on her second day god only knew how many she had stashed for herself.

It was time for the showers the next day and Rollins undressed and slipped into the shower room, she saw women around her all naked. But none, not one gave her the same rush that she had felt when she had been close to Olivia. She began to clean herself when she saw a woman looking at her from across the room. "WHAT YOU LOOKING AT?" was the shout she heard a few seconds later. Rollins put her head down, she had a job to do and she didn't need any unnecessary problems. Then she heard the woman again, repeating herself and walking in Amanda's direction. 'Don't drop the soap' was what Stella had said to her earlier and she sure wasn't going to. The woman who Amanda knew as Anna, she was second in line to the prison thrown and there were rumours that she was one of the rape victims and she never backed down from a fight.

"A coward." Rollins replied after realising this was going to end badly if she reacted or not, the shower room filled with a low buzz.

"What did you just call me?" Anna answered, her anger clearly rising to beyond annoyed.

"I called you a coward because even after this hard act you're really just a victim. A victim to a man who you let get away with a sickenin crime." Rollins thought it best to be the first to mention the rapist, no one did and she knew it was going to cause uproar.

Anna grabbed her shoulder and swung Rollins around to face her. Rollins was too fast for her though, she had seen it coming as Anna's other hand had been clenched in a fist and was being brought up towards Amanda's face. Rollins stepped back and dodged the attack while giving a swift punch to the nose and knocking the woman to the shower floor. This caused uproar and no sooner did she know this, Amanda had a bleeding nose and a small cut above her eyebrow as the leaders of the prison gangs piled in on her. The pain began to subside as Rollins realised Stella and her gang had come in and saved her. Amanda wiped her nose with the back of her hand and saw blood smeared across it and she could feel a large thumping in her head. One of Stella's gang had thrown Amanda's clothes at her, she'd gotten dressed and been pulled her to the medics. They had cleaned the wounds and had told her that in about three days' time you wouldn't be able to tell anything had happened to her.

That night once the lights went out and the other women had fallen asleep Stella jumped down and sat on the edge of Amanda's bed. Amanda had been laying in the dark thinking about her recent secret meetings with Detective Benson and how she felt so comforted when she was around the older woman.

"What is it?" Rollins asked sitting up and brushing her hair from her face.

"Why did you mention the rapist earlier in the showers?"

"How do you know I was talkin about the rapist, you weren't there?" Amanda said.

"Because everyone told me. Some said how they were happy someone had finally talked about the whole rapist thing, others weren't so happy with you. So watch out."

"Why's everyone so bothered, they won't admit it and it's not like he's around to get them again. So why don't they just get him sent down, tell the cops who he is?" Rollins questioned.

"Because it ain't that easy Vick."

"And you'd know why?"

"Because he attacked me. Two days before my trial." She had put her head in her hands and was beginning to shake. It seemed the Stella wasn't as tough as she made out. "I feel like I can trust you Vick, I never told no one that before. But I ain't telling no cops, it's too dangerous."

Rollins stroked her shoulder. "But why? Why's it too dangerous? What hold does he have on you exactly?" But Stella wouldn't reply, the rest of the night they were silent. Stella had questioned herself over whether she had told Vicki too much.

One day later and Rollins was called by one of the guards, she saw Julia Hart as she walked past. The woman had nodded and carried on talking to her cell mate. Amanda got hauled into a small room, with two small chairs and a table, the walls were painted an unflattering grey tone and Rollins began to smile. Not because of the dank room but because sat in one of the chairs was Detective Olivia Benson. Her Olivia Benson.

A/N: So what do you think Amanda is going to tell Olivia? And what else does prison have in store for Rollins? Please leave me a review and tell me what you think. Thanks.