Chapter 3

It had just gone dark, and the stars were peeking from behind their navy curtain. Reaching up, I closed my own navy curtains, and sat on the bed. Andy was on video chat with me.

"Toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant? Pads? Body spray, a week's worth of shirts, pants, socks, underwear?"

I sighed. He could be a mother.

"Yes, mom." I winked at my phone, propped up against the nightstand's lamp. I heard him sigh. My dufflebag was small, and I was worried. I bought it when I'd gotten my first job, in case I ever needed to run away. It wasn't supposed to hold that many things - enough to get me by for just a few days.

"I just don't want you to get upset if you leave something behind," he said softly. "I'm not trying to annoy you or stress you out, Jay." I knew that in my heart. But I was starting to get frustrated. I searched around for my antidepressants. I'd missed taking them last night - probably why I was so disraught over Andy's leaving earlier. I could feel myself teetering on the edge of a panic attack. My heart was jumpy, and my cheeks were flushed. I also grabbed the birth control that I'm supposed to take around 10 each night. An hour early wasn't too bad.

I'd made sure to pack my secondary pair of glasses. One pair made me feel like someone cool - which was probably why I didn't wear them often. I felt like a wannabe if I wore them on an 'ugly' day, but the other pair made me feel geeky and transparent. I preferred the geeky pair. The cool pair were packed in the duffle's sidepocket. The pocket also contained my essential oils. Sometimes, those were the only things to calm me down if I was having a flashback.

I took a breath and glanced at my phone. Andy was scrolling through something on his computer; his stare was aimed to the right of his camera. I studied his sharp cheekbones and jawline. They gave him an eerily attractive look. I loved it. I couldn't imagine spending 8 weeks with my best friend. Andy looked at his phone's screen.

"What're you looking at?" He asked jokingly.

"Nothing!" I countered. "I'm just excited to go with y'all. It's not every day that an opportunity like this comes up, you know?" He nodded and continued to scroll through things on his computer.

"Yeah. I know. I'm pretty hype too." Things were silent for a moment. I turned and attempted to zip the duffle. Halfway through, one zipper got jammed. Working with the other zipper, I got it to close. Hallelujah.

"By the way, Ashley wants your special coffee," Andy said. "I thought he was going to kill me when I said I didn't want to trouble you too much. So I'm not asking because I want to. I'm asking because I'm concerned about my general safety." He chuckled, glancing at the camera for a split second.

"Of course - it's not a problem. We all know how special my coffee is." I rolled my eyes. Andy and I wanted Ashley to try the gas station coffee a few months ago. He was afraid the machines were "bacteria-infested" and he didn't want to "get E. Coli from his caffiene boosts". One morning, while the boys were sleeping at Andy's, I ran out and bought them all gas station coffee. Ashley loved it. I told him I'd made it myself. Ever since then, he always hounds me trying to get me to 'make it' for him.

I flopped onto the bed, rolling onto my back. My ceiling was in terrible condition. I saw the waterstain directly above my face. We had a terribly leaky roof. There was another waterspot across the room, and one above the nightstand. If I knew it was going to rain, I ran to unplug my bedside lamp. I didn't want the cord shorting out and causing a fire if it got wet.

"Going to bed?" A voice came from my right. I gasped. I'd forgotten we were still in a call.

"Uh, yeah," I stuttered. "I think so. I'll get up at 6, go for coffee at 6:30, and come to your house by 7?" I got a nod in response. The monitor light must've gone black, because Andy's face wasn't a ghostly blue anymore. It was a normal color - except for his eyes. Oh, those eyes. My heart flipped.

I reached over with my left hand to grab my phone. Holding it over my face, Andy and I whispered our goodnights to each other - just like we had since we were little kids. I missed being little. We made the ugliest faces we could muster, and hung up. I gave a small laugh. Tomorrow was going to be the biggest day of my life.