Thoughts of the Dearly Departed
Dear Roy,
Haven't you just stopped to see the world around you? Just to realize that things aren't actually what they seem, and are completely different on how you see the world? Everyone that you knew, you didn't really know? People, the public, were colder then they seem in years? They sky wasn't blue, but gray; and the grass wasn't green but brown. Your friends were really your worst enemies, and your enemies could pass as your friends. Your lover wasn't really your lover, just someone to fuck for the time being until they got tired of you.
Have you ever told yourself that your life couldn't get worst then it was and did? While it was raining hard, you thought that it couldn't pour harder and it did. Did any of this ever seem like your bad luck? Or make you feel like you have no luck? Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you fix all those little mistakes and make your life "perfect"? Did you ever wish you were the one promoted and envied the person who was promoted until you hated them? Did you ever regret every hateful thought and act?
Did you ever think that your only family was conspiring against you for some greater purpose? Did you ever think that nothing would go right for you and you were just wasting your time? Did you ever feel like you were falling, and didn't know how to stop? And when you stopped it was too painful to move on. It was so painful they you resorted to what you thought were the only way out? Did you think of the people who would miss you? Or even consider it? What about the people who loved you? People who hated you? People who didn't even get to know you?
If I had the chance, I'd sit down and answer all of those questions. One by one, but I'm the one who asked them. Shouldn't you be the one who answers them? But then again, you'd never want to answer them. It dives into the past and current feelings. I know that you'd never want to answer any of these questions. They'd hurt too much for you to do so.
I know what your doing now. You're reading this letter, refusing to cry. Please don't let me hold you down at all. I really wish I could have learned the answers of my questions. Hopeful, if I ever see you again in some otherworld or life...You'll tell me.
I love you and I hope you move on.
I'm sorry for hurting you.
Love your late love,
Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist.
The handwriting on the letter was hard to read, and his tears made it even harder to read. He was going through Edward's dairy and Notebook when the letter fell out. His chest swelled and tears passed down his eyes. The letter was two pages long because of the attempt of neat left-handed writing. There was a picture of the whole crew that fell to the floor. In that picture Alphonse was a steel suit of armor, Edward smiled brightly next to Roy. Roy smirking, Hughes having a knowing glint in his eyes, Riza looking as emotionless as ever, Havoc smirking with a cigarette in his mouth as he wrapped an arm around Fury, Fury blushing because of Havoc having his arm around him. Brenda was glaring at a small dog, Riza's dog, Falman looking as tight assed as ever. The picture was taken two months before Edward gave up his body and soul to give and attach his brother back to his own body.
Roy looked around at the abandoned room He could feel his presence there as he reread the letter. Roy smiled and put the letter back into the dairy. He wiped any tears the remained in his eyes. He sat on Edward's bed and fell sideways lying on the bed. He clutched a pillow and hugged it to his face, letting Edward's scent enter his nose. Then he cried hard into the pillow, trying to physically rid himself of the new coming pain and loss that cut him harder now that he read the very long goodbye of his lover.
Dear Riza,
How do I know you were digging through my items now that I'm gone? Cause I know what you're like. Someone once asked me this: Haven't you just stopped to see the world around you? Just to realize that things aren't actually what they seem, and completely different on how you see the world? Everyone that you knew, you didn't really know? People, the public, were colder then they seem in years? They sky wasn't blue, but gray; and the grass wasn't green but brown. Your friends were really your worst enemies, and your enemies could pass to be your friends. Your lover wasn't really your lover, just someone to fuck for the time being until they got tired of you.
Have you ever told yourself that your life couldn't get worst then it was and did? While it was raining hard, you thought that it couldn't pour harder and it did. Did any of this ever seem like your bad luck? Or make you feel like you have no luck?
He asked more and more questions.
I want to know. Do you feel this way?
I did for a time, and I moved on. I married you. I lived happily, even though you knew I still loved him. I wish I could know why you did that? Didn't you ever stop to think on how your life could be different with out me?
Love,
Roy Mustang, The Late Flame Alchemist and Furher.
Riza smiled as she packed away the two letters in to a box. What a copycat. She thought sadly. She remembered the day when she walked into Edward's room to find Roy crying into Edward's pillow clenching a letter. He refused to show it. Now she knew why. She pushed back a gray hair that got into her face. She smiled at the empty room that they once shared. I hope their happy now. She thought as she looked out of a window to a gray sky and gray clouds.