Bonnie. Marceline let the thought roll over in her head for the dozenth time that day. Bonnie Bubblegum. That name was just so . . . So . . .
Perfect.
Every single thing about her was just so perfect. From the way that her dress lay perfectly on her that it made it look wonderful too the way that her skin, her gummy skin, was just shiny enough to make her look like she glittered in the sunlight. How was that for sick irony? Marceline couldn't step into the sun without burning and Bonnibel couldn't without turning into some sort of sparkling goddess. Glob, this was going to gnaw away at Marceline until she inevitably just imploded from it all.
She fingered her bass mindlessly, letting the randomness of her actions find a pattern and then stick to it. And once they'd found it she subconsciously began humming. Before she even knew what was happening, the words were just tumbling out of her mouth. She had no control over them, no filter. All she could do was watch as if it were someone else singing.
"Sorry that I exist, I can't believe you landed on my list. But I shouldn't have to make up excuses just to see you. So . . . Why do I want to? Why do I want to?"
Everything about this was weird. She hadn't been in a relationship since . . . Since Ash. And that was one path that she never wanted to walk down again. He was a plague to her, a parasite that still lingered in the back of her mind, soaking up any happiness it could. He'd ruined her, ruined everything.
She didn't want to be scared any more. She didn't want to have that nagging voice in the back of her head always saying things like 'you'll never find love!', 'you'll be alone forever!', 'nobody needs you, Marceline.'
The problem was, it wasn't just any random voice, either. It was Ash's, and she knew it was his because she could still hear him shouting those things at her whenever he got angry. And he got angry quick and often.
"Nothing!" He'd shouted at her one night. It had been a month before they'd finally broken up, and two before she'd left to travel Ooo. He had been living in her house at that point, making her sleep in the living room so that he could have the small bed to himself. "That's what you are, Marceline. You're nothing and you'll never be anything more!"
The fight had been in the living room, and Marceline could still feel the slap on her cheek as if it had been freshly delivered. She had a lot of power, and could most likely kill a man in a heartbeat, but she hadn't explored that until recently.
With Ash, he'd told her that her power made her a freak, as if her demon origins didn't do that already. He'd told her time and time again that if she'd ever left him nobody would pity her enough to love her because nobody could love a monster. He'd justified himself by saying that if people could see that a simple mortal could harm her the people of Ooo wouldn't be as afraid of her.
Now she thrived on their fear. Their horror was her pleasure and their screams were almost as sweet as music. Seeing their faces contort into looks of terror gave her satisfaction. Almost the same level of satisfaction she'd felt when she'd finally stood up for herself and forced Ash out of her life.
With every scream she felt like she was hurting him. Like she was weakening him in the same way he'd weakened her until she felt broken.
But then there was Bonnibel. Bonnibel, who didn't look like she could hurt a fly.
Through her thousand years, Marceline had learned one simple fact: everyone has the power to hurt you. Every single person in Ooo has the power to break you apart, piece by piece. That's not just in the physical sense. Emotionally, everyone is equal. If you let them in, if you give them the power to hold your heart in their hands, the chances are they'll crush it. It might not even be on purpose. Instead of squeezing on your heartstrings they might just drop it and watch it shatter. The possibilities are endless but the outcome is always the same. It always ends with Marceline lying broken and on the floor, with nobody but herself to fix her.
That's what happened when her mother died. That's what happened when Simon left. That's what happened when her father was never there in the first place. That's what's been happening from the moment Ash stepped into her life. So, if everything logical told Marceline no, don't even try. Don't even try to go after Princess Bubblegum because it always ends the same and it won't be any different so why even bother?
And yet, there she was. Outside of the walls of the Candy Kingdom with a bouquet of white roses (well, previously red roses) like a total dweeb.