The woman's footstep pounded loudly as she moved down the lonely sidewalk. The sky seem to take in account of her heartbreak and it was doing everything in power to show empathy for her, as dark clouds rolled in. She was gifting thanks to universe for the lack of people out and about today. Last thing she needed was stares from strangers, or worst concern gawks from acquaintances. She pulled her hood up desperate to hide into soft cloth of her sweatshirt. How did this happen? When did everyone her life move on while she seem to be completely lost in a thick fog? She could smell the rain before soft drops began to drop down on to her head. Sniffing she wanted to hold in the tears but with the opening of the heavens it almost seem like a sign. A reassurance that it was okay now. So as she briskly walked back to the hotel soft tears streaked her cheeks as she relived the sight of his glimmering perfect emeralds, watching the one called Rose. Suddenly she was carried back to the tower, years before, listening to her friends as they talk about the future. Robin and Star talking about how they were positive they were going married in the near future. This his voice, the haunting carefree voice, "Psh, who wants to be tied down like that? It will be the day pigs grow wings and fly when I'll get married." It almost seemed like a sick cruel joke now.
A drop fell from her hood and dripped down on to her grey tear stained cheek. At least the rain could mask the cold fact that she willingly was letting tears fall. The tears that he caused. Mournful, and hateful emotions clouded her brain as she fought to keep her powers from lashing out. Over the years she had gained quite an impressive hold on her emotion driven powers but not even the most advanced training could prepare her for this. Years and years of self control only to have it tumble down like they were made of paper. The heart ache that seemed to overwhelm her entire soul. Every step moved her forward, while her heart hammered deep into oblivion. What had she actually expect? Especially when she hadn't heard a peep from him in a year, certainly deep down she must have known.
~
Raven pulled her earphones out of her ear, confirming her suspicion of hearing the distant sound of her phone playing a Mozart melody. Pressing pause on the treadmill she rushed over to the Iphone that was lit up and vibrating along to the simple graceful tune. She didn't have time to look at the area code, she just knew it was a number that wasn't programmed into her phone. Focusing on answering in time she quickly picked it up and slid the arrow to the right. She tucked her phone into the space between her ear and her shoulder, letting her shoulder hold the phone for her busy hands.
"Hello?" She answered her breath heaved. She opened the water bottle that had been in her other hand as she took a big swig from the lip. Sweat pooled on her forehead making her blink a few times to stop the sting of it in her eyes.
"Raven?" The male voice responded on the other side. In that second Raven stilled her eyes wide as she knew immediately who was on the other end. She would never forget the sound of that voice.
Even thought her brain and body knew who the voice belonged to, she was still shocked that he would be calling her. Her out of all people. "Hello?" She managed in a whispered. Her legs began to feel like Jello as her mind beg the husky voice to speak again. Then he answered her silent prayer.
"Hey, It's Garfield." Gar replied. Raven seemed to be in a lost of words as million in half memories came flooding back to her. His laugh, his fanged grin, his corny jokes. How could just the sound of his voice send her right back to her days in the tower? Back to the time where she was hiding a silly girl crush on him.
"I know." She finally responded.
"I just didn't know if you could tell, it sounded like you weren't sure."
"I know." She repeated like a child, she wondered if he could hear her heart beat through the phone. It wouldn't surprise her if he could. His hearing abilities always seem to amaze her.
"How.. " He paused clearing his throat. "How have you been?" Raven felt the corner of her lips turn as she could hear that grin in his voice.
"I'm okay, how are you?" She asked quietly. Her inner selves began to berated her for sounding like a love sick school girl.
A chuckle, his chuckle, sent her stomach down a roller coaster and cause her knees to break with out her permission. She gripped the counter keeping herself up. "I'm great, I'm glad I finally got the right number for you." He mused. "You're not easy person to track down." He had been looking for her? She wasn't that hard to find, or at least she didn't think so. Just needed to know who to call.
"I like to keep to myself, you've always know that." she replied in monotone.
"And there is that classic Raven I'm use to. I actually, would love to see you." Beast Boy commented. LOVE to see you. It made Raven's heart skip. He wanted to see her. That is where she let her emotions get in the way of reason. The logical reason why did he want to see her?
"Oh?" She replied sounding surprised.
"Yes, I'm in Jump City we should meet." He continued.
"Where?" She breathed clutching the phone a little too hard. She surely could go for a little three hour trip. In that moment, she felt silly for even thinking it but she would go across the world to see him.
"You pick, is there a day your available?" He questioned. She could hear voices in the back ground and the sound of cars driving. It made her smile knowing he was just walking around outside thinking about her. Talking to her like nothing had happened between them. Like they were still silly teens living under the same roof.
"The 16th."
"Thursday? Okay perfect. You pick the place, time, and just shoot this number a text okay?" He chimed.
"Okay." Her voice soft as she began pondering places to meet. He continued his voice excited, and Raven didn't catch his words as clearly as she should have. Her logical mind had long since left her in that moment.
"I'm excited to see you, and I'm excited for you to meet someone too."
"I'll see you Thursday?" Raven asked again. The word someone rolled right by her, not even clicking once. Someone, a female someone most likely, and Raven didn't even consider it. No of course not Raven honestly had left the conversation as soon as he said her name.
"Thursday." He affirmed.
"Bye."
"Good Bye Rae."
~
Depression grew and spun itself into a new emotion. An emotion of self loathing. Why did her heart win the battle against her brain? Why did she have to fall for him? Why did she deny it for so long? Why did she agree to his charming demands? Why did she think that after all this time he would still be the same egotistical immature boy she grew up with? So many why's sounded off in her mind it made her want to throw up. She fumed at herself and her damn emotions. A down pour hit right as she felt the last of her emotions breaking against the shore of her mind. The wind whipped around her making her walk faster ready to be away from the icy rain.
She reached her room in the nick of time, her veins felt like they were pumping ice cold blood through her body. Opening the door she stepped inside then closed it before sinking to the floor. Her chest heaved in and out as she clung to thin air that seemed to be around her. Her body shivered against her soaking wet clothes. The only thing that felt hot was her sticky red face, as she stared at the floor. Digging deep into her pocket and pulled out her telephone. She fought with the buttons typing out the number she knew by heart. Pressing the phone button she moved it up to her ear.
It rang into her ear four times before someone answered.
"Hey Sunshine." A tight cheery feminine voice filled Raven's ears as she fought keep control of the crying that wanted to seep out from just the sound of her friend.
Sniffing loudly she did her best to mask the fact that she was so upset. "Jinx."
"How did the meeting go?" Jinx inquired.
"Not as plan." Raven muttered.
"Are you okay? You sound upset." The girl noted. Raven began cursing herself she knew that she should have calmed down before calling.
"I'll be okay," Raven mumbled. "I just-"
"Are you crying?" Jinx cut in. Raven let out a soft sob that she had been holding in. Out of everyone in the Titans, the two sorceresses, were the ones that stayed close to each other. Raven liked Jinx's sarcastic comments, and understanding of all things dark. Jinx just liked anyone that would put up with her attitude. Even with how close they had become, Raven wondered how it was possible that Jinx knew what she was trying to hold in. Raven couldn't find the words to speak as she felt if she even attempted to only sobs would escape. Jinx listened but after a good minute in half she remarked, "That bastard." A scoff came from Raven's chest as she gripped on to her phone like it was her only life line.
"I'll be there in ten minutes." Jinx announced. Raven began to protest but stopped herself as she heard Jinx yelling into the background. "Wally!" silence... "Wally!" silence...
"WALLY!"
"I thought...-" Raven interrupted
"He owes me for last night." Jinx bit into the phone. "I need a lift." Her voice carried loudly from the receiver. Raven sighed, Jinx and Wally were by far the weirdest couple she had ever met. Constantly bickering, breaking up, making up, dating new people, it was like her own personal soap opera. She never knew what to classify them as because they weren't together, and yet they fuck for favors, but they weren't friends with benefits. Her eye flew to the ceiling, the fact that he was there right now, meant he was expecting something a favor perhaps, or maybe he was just taking the opportunity for her lack of roommate that weekend. She listened quietly tears blurring her vision. She couldn't make out what Wally was saying but from what she could hear, Jinx was slowly losing her cool. Raven didn't know how many minutes had passed but suddenly Jinx's voice was back talking into her ear.
"I'm on my way, what's your room number?"
"316." She breathed into the phone.
"Don't move." Then the line clicked off.
...
Jinx made good on her promise of ten minutes, not a second later her loud knock echoed into Raven's hotel room. Raven forced herself up off the floor and slowly opened the door. She kept her gaze down, ashamed of how the usually strong Emapth was acting. Jinx mouth twisted into an ugly frown as she pushed Raven back inside, the door slamming behind her. Raven stood like a statue too humiliated to say or do anything. This wasn't who she was, usually she was the one helping out broken hearted friends, but my how the tables could turn so quickly. Jinx rolled her hips forward as she watched the woman in front of her, eventually she began to voice her thoughts.
"Holy shit, this is worst that I thought." The girl with pink hair stepped forward and pulled Raven into her arms. Once again Raven's damn broke and she fell into and easily melted against her thin but strong arms. Tears poured out, and down the curves of her cheeks as her resilience completely evaporated in to thin air. She sobbed into the sorceress shoulder while, she took in deep breaths of Jinx's flowery amber scent. "Come on, lets get you out of these wet clothes and find you some grease filled foods." Jinx stated pulling Raven down the hall. That was another thing Raven appreciate about her friend, Jinx never, not once had to question her about her feelings. She just accepted with or without explanation.
Jinx led the broken one into the room where she ordered her to remove everything. Raven's violet eyes lingered on her for a moment before she gave in and followed the directions. She pulled her zipper down her hooded sweatshirt and then discarded it on the floor. Jinx moved to the bag that sat neatly on the fold out luggage rack. She unzipped it and peered inside. She pick threw the tiny pile and settled on black baggy pants, and a long sleeve skin shirt. Turning back around, she found Raven had removed everything and was standing with her arms across her stomach. Goosebumps covered her alabaster skin, as she shivered in place. She sniffed, making her tight abs flex in response. Handing over the clothes Jinx moved her gaze off her, willing to give her some sort of privacy.
"I'm ordering room service." She declared then flopped down onto the bed. A freshly clothed Raven eventual made it over to the bed and crawled into it. She wished that it was her own bed but since she had already paid for the room there was no need to waste money. She buried herself into the soft fluffy large blankets and listened quietly to Jinx orders. All her tears had managed to dry, but empty broken feeling was still swelling inside her. She finally understood why she spent so many hours nursing a broken Starfire, in the early years. Broken hearts weren't anything to take lightly.
Jinx finally hung up the phone and cocked her head back to the woman in the bed. Raven stared at the walls with the comforter tucked up underneath her chin. She nodded once saying she approved of her friend choice of letting the blankets console her. She kicked off her boots and slipped into the covers mirroring Raven's movements. Jinx moved close to Raven. Her pink hair tumbled into her eyes and she rested her head on Ravens.
"He's getting married." Raven whispered in a low voice. Jinx remained silent, she knew that asking questions or giving her opinions would only make the goth close up more. Jinx knew how to be Raven's friend, never second guessing on what Raven needed in that moment. So after a long moment Raven began her story of how she went down to the coffee shop. She told her how in the moment he stepped into the shop her heart seem to completely stop. "I never knew, until the second his eyes met mine. I'm not going to deny it any more, I'm in love with him." Raven admitted. Maybe it was not seeing him for years or maybe her feelings just grew as the years went on, but whatever it was Raven never felt anything like what she felt the those brief moments with him. Her eyes glistened as she recounted to mere moments leading up to giant downfall.
Taking in a giant breath Raven shuttered. "That's whenshe came in." Her voice broke at the word. "Rose Wilson." She spoke sharply and bitterly.
Jinx finally spoke up at this name, "Oh I've heard of her. She's part of a huge filming production." Thinking for a moment she added, "She was in that huge scandal with Slade, years ago..." Jinx trailed off realizing that bring up that was not going to help. Raven kept still her whole body aching. Jinx snorted, "What is with him and bad girls? Does he look for dates that have some sort of connection with Slade?" She jested.
"I don't know." Raven answered honestly. Her face completely blank with no emotion in her eyes. Jinx frowned again hearing the soberness in her voice. She removed her head and huffed against the fluffy pillows.
"That string bean better hope he doesn't cross my path, I swear he'll walk away with out his favorite appendage." She spat her pale hand picked up the remote that sat on the side table and flicked on the T.V. "Fuck him Raven, life isn't worth being in pain. Lets just watch some horror flicks and eat until we are sick."
The Empath nodded and spoke in a volume lower than a whisper, "Thank you for coming."
"Of course, anything for my Rae." She answered softly. Then she lead over and kiss the top of her head.
"Jinx."
"Hmm?"
"You're doing that weird thing again." Raven remarked, her face finally breaking from the emotionless stare.
The girl simply shrugged at her. "You know I can't hold in all my desires for you. NOW," She said louder so Raven couldn't rebuke her. "Any requests?" She asked using the remote to motion to the T.V.
...
The two finally had picked on a movie before a loud knock interrupted them. "It's about time!" Jinx remarked kicking the covers off. She dashed to the door, and opened it. Raven didn't even realize what was happening until she heard Jinx yell, "I swear if you don't go away I'll leave a mark on that pretty face of yours." Instantly she sat up, her heart leaping in to overdrive. There was only one person Jinx would snap at like that, and it wasn't the room service. She stared at the hallway, knowing exactly who was here. What she didn't know is if she dared to get up. Jinx continued to shout profanities at the stranger, until Raven pick up a new voice.
"Back off Jinx." His voice sounded off then he turned into a dog and ran around her legs. He morphed back and and walked the rest of the way into the room. She gasped and her hand flew to her mouth as she couldn't believe he was here. His endless green eyes spotted her and he moved towards the bed.
"I'm so glad I found you." He replied calmly.
"What are you doing here?" She managed to peep out. He frown as he took over Jinx spot on the bed. Raven shrunk back away from him not understanding anything that was happening.
"Raven," Jinx spoke up "Do you want me to physically remove this germ out the room for you?" She stood against the wall her eyes glowing with hate.
"I just need a minute." He shot his tone aggressive. Jinx shook her head and mouth the word "No" to her friend. Raven glanced back from her firm bull head friend to the man of her dreams. Her gut twisted as she decided to listen to beat of her hammering heart.
"It's okay Jinx." She mumbled. Jinx scoffed and threw her hands in the air. She cursed the heavens then replied that she was going down stairs to find the bar.
"Don't know why I even freaking try." She retorted and slammed the door behind her.
"I almost forgot how bitchy she can be." Gar retorted his head still cocked towards the exit of the room.
"What are you doing here Garfield?" Raven spoke quietly her hands tangled into the bed spread. His whole body seemed to sink as the sound of his real name, seemed to slap in him.
"Please, I've told you not to call me that."
"It's your name." She replied indifferent. His jaw clenched as he realized that maybe seeking her out wasn't the best idea.
"Look," He hung his head and began rubbing the back of his neck. His classic gesture when he was seconding guessing himself. "I tracked you down, called every freaking hotel in town and finally I found you." He explained hoping to ease the blank expression of her face.
"You haven't answered my question."
"You seemed so upset after meeting Rose, I just-"
"I wasn't upset." She lied calmly. Blank expressions were her specialty and she was certainly grateful for the talent right then.
He let out a drawn out sigh and gave her doubtful look. "Raven, I've know you since we were 14. Do you really think you're that good at hiding it from me?" He pressed. She pursed her lips her eyes slightly glaring at him. "I mean even right now I can tell you've been crying."
Stunned at his actuation, she blinked several times watching him. She began to wonder if she wasn't nearly as good at hiding things as she thought she was. It certainly seemed that her friends could read her like a book, even he could see right though her wall she put up. Taking her silence as an answer. "Raven tell me." he requested. She bit the inside of her cheek letting the pain wash over her sudden need to confess everything to him. Why did she have to feel this way? How, with her being the magical one, how did he manage to cast such a spell on her. She shook her head and fixed her stare to the TV that played in mute.
He followed her gaze and decided to let awkward emotion sit in the room for a while. Like clockwork the quietness began to itch like poison ivy in her brain. This time she kept her tears in but her voice wavered. "I was caught off guard today. So when you introduced me to Rose I was in shock."
"I know how big of a deal it is. I should've told everyone, including you, earlier but I didn't realize how fast it could happen." He reasoned. He that brilliant smile at her and grabbed her hand. "You're not mad at me?" He asked.
Her eyes cast down at his hand in hers and she shivered in place. She pulled her hand away and shook her head. "I'm not mad Garfield." She answered, 'not at you at least.'
"Why did you take off then? and if your not mad at me why have you been crying?" Her shoulders slumped forward as she wished him to leave. A single tear escaped from her eye slipped down her cheek. She looked up at him and like being hit by a bus he understood. His eyes grew wide as he watched her violet orbs that had lost all their brilliance glimmer. He licked his lip as he stared dumbfounded.
His voice slipped down in to his low husky tone as he asked another question. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Feeling like she swallowed a cotton ball offered a breath of an answer. "I didn't know how to." It was a great answer, for years she hid her feelings from him and denied them herself. His face grew serious as he moved father away from her. His eyebrows furrowed as he pondered the idea of Raven actually liking him like that. It was quiet once again and Raven felt the itching start again burning deep into her psyche. She could only read complete bewilderment from him. Finally he spoke again his voice sharp this time.
"How long?"
She didn't even miss a beat this time responding quickly, "Since the rainy night on the roof." His eyes narrowed as he recalled the memory. A memory he had filed underneath as the day he almost kissed her. It was so long ago he wondered if he actually remember the exact details or not. She obviously was impacted that cold night. What seemed to shake him was the fact was that she had started to have feeling for him, that night. A night that was a serious turning point in their relationship. She had really liked him for that long? A sharp pain in hand made him realize that he was clenching his fists and his claws had pierced his pale green palms. He forced his anger down as he focused on the uncomfortable lump that was glued in his throat.
As he stood Raven body became erect as she watched him. Without her permission words and tears began to flow out of her. "Please, I'm so sorry I never meant for this to happen. I left the Titans, I moved away, because I didn't want this to shake our friendship." He didn't turn or make any acknowledgement that he even heard her words. "Over the years we got close and it scared me to think of you as anything but a friend. That's why I never said anything, never acted on them. You know who I am Gar, you know how stubborn I am." Finally he shook his head and scoffed. He walked away from the bed and turned around. His eyes were wide as he glared at her.
"You knew for years that I was crushing you, hell last years of being titans, I loved you. I made it clear that night." He bit and his words stung her as she held in her sobs just letting small tears creep down the curves of her cheeks. She knew he wasn't lying he didn't have to even tell her. She felt his emotions every hour of every day. "You should have told me. We..." He paused as he fought with something deep in himself. She couldn't tell what he was trying to say, but she had a sinking feeling that he wasn't going to continue. "No." He said firmly. "No, you moved on, left just like you said. I moved on, I love Rose." As soon as he said her name she watched his eyes light up again like he had completely forgotten in that moment that he was engaged to the beauty.
"I'm," He stopped flustered with himself. "I'm engaged!" he announced the obvious. Truth never seemed to be so cruel to her. She didn't need to be reminded. She wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand. Pathetic she had, turned into one of those sniveling soap opera girls. Where did she lose herself like this? He walked to the door which Raven couldn't see from where she was seated, but she could hear the heart shattering response that came from his lips.
"I don't think you should come to the wedding."