Chapter 16: Body like a bandage, body like a wound
warning & disclaimer-chapter 1
I'm sorry about the long-assed time it took to get this up, I had to rewrite it, because the first one was so fluffy it'd choke you...tried to throw in as much angstiness as i could but its still...not my fave chappie...it's very cliched at the end...hope u enjoy, Sugar xoxoxoxoxoxo
The time he had estimated that they'd be away for, had mutated in a rather interesting way. He had told himself four days, which had turned to seven, and they were now heading for ten-to-fourteen days...
He told himself that it was because he needed to holiday away from Vegas. He told himself it was because he was overworked.
But he knew it was because the more time he spent with Sara, the happier he was...she still had bad moments, he knew she had considered cutting, he had seen hesitation marks on her skin...
She had just come out the shower, wrapped in a towel. He had said he was going to go out on a walk, and she hadn't expected him to be back for a few hours. She couldn't stay alone longer than that, she got nervous...
So, when she had stepped out the shower, wrapped only in a towel, she hadn't tried to conceal the little marks on her right thigh.
"Grissom? I thought you went for a walk?"
"I did, but look." he pointed to the sky outside, which was currently spitting rain against the window. "I knew the good weather had to stop sometime."
"Damn"
He had looked at her again, as she gazed out the window. "Sara, what did you do to your leg?"
She had looked at him, eyes full of panic. "Griss-I – I didn't. I was going to- I- Nothing- I couldn't help my- honestly, I-"
He had cut her off. "Sara, Rome wasn't built in a day. But every time you do that-" he pointed to her leg. "you're just burning what you have built."
She had gone back into the bathroom then, and gotten changed, grabbing her clothes from the floor on her way. Griss hoped he had gotten through to her a little bit more, he knew they weren't full marks, they were hesitation marks, but they were marks all the same...
Since then, things had gone pretty well. The rented room they were staying in at the quaint B&B allowed for them to be close enough to feel safe, but no so close as to feel hemmed in. Gil just wished they could stay there forever...
He wanted to take Sara out tonight. There was a beautiful restaurant near the small private beach she had taken him to, which had a very highly recommended vegetarian options, as well as seafood for his own carnivorous tastes. He had asked the B&B owner, Mrs Sopalo, what the best restaurant in the area was, and the one she had gushed over was the one he had made reservations at. Apparently, Carmel-by-the-sea was a popular tourist destination, even at the end of May...
She emerged from the bathroom. "Is this okay, what I'm wearing?"
Grissom turned to look at her.
She was in dark blue, knee length dress, similar to a sundress. She was still too thin, he noticed, but she wasn't emaciated. She was perfect
"It's perfect."
"Thank you. You look good too."
She didn't know how else to put it. He looked amazing to her. Tan slacks and a light blue shirt, opened at the collar, mad his eyes sparkle. "Where are we going?"
"Aha, you'll have to wait and see..." he smirked. Gil knew Sara couldn't stand to be kept in the dark, when it came to things such as dinner plans.
"Griss, tell meeee." she wheedled at him, almost the entire way there, in an openly good-humoured way. When they arrived at Shatzi on the Main, she had squealed in a most un-Sara way, "Griss! I've wanted to eat here since I was a teenager!" and given him a smacker of a kiss on the lips, followed by a blush that would have put the celebrity red carpet to shame. Grissom had smiled in a bemused way at her, then taken her hand, and tugged her into the restaurant's candle-lit glow.
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All the way through dinner, she had felt it...it had started when she kissed him over-excitedly, and had intensified over the past hour and a half. She was sure Griss could feel it too. It was almost a lulling hum in the atmosphere, but it buzzed and flickered too. She couldn't place it entirely. She knew what it was, but she couldn't place it. It was somewhat like the 'frisson' she had had with guys she had previously dated and consequently slept with, but with Grissom, there was something else thrown into the mix.
They had spent the entire meal laughing quietly, and joking. There was no mention of what had previously happened, Sara had put it to the back of her mind, she wasn't thinking of it. She was only aware of the soft voices around them, the delicious meal they were eating, the deceptive candle light, making every one look ten times as seductive as they usually did, and finally, she was painfully aware of his eyes. She had always been entranced by Griss's eyes, the way they sparkled with humour, or the way they would dull or shine with emotion at a difficult case, the way they would reflect what he thought. Sara truly believed that the eyes were a window to the soul, and Gil Grissom's eyes founded this opinion wholly to her.
He could feel her knee brush his under the table occasionally, and feel her laughter warm him to the tip of his toes when she let it loose. He could feel her passion for life ring through him, he could almost feel her soul...he knew what Sara's 'spark' was, he couldn't describe it, but he could feel it. It was intoxicating. He felt drunk on it. He wanted to grab it, hold it, soak some of it up into himself.
Grissom was almost feeling what Jayden Bounton felt, but for Grissom, it wasn't obsession, it was something entirely different...
They had finished their meal, and he was paid the bill when she was at the washroom. He couldn't help but watch her butt as she walked away from the table, and felt a bubbling irritation when he saw the man at the next table doing the same. He was contemplating going over and hitting him, when her voice jolted him out of doing so.
"Griss? Ready to go?"
He stood up, and followed her from the restaurant.
It was just perfect, Sara reflected, as they strolled along the quiet cobbled streets...the moon was out, it was nice, although very humid weather, and Grissom was holding her hand. Oh yes. Holding her hand. It was like a movie or something. It was just so god damn romantic...
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Those were the rights of spring and we did everything
There was salvation every night
We got our dreams reborn and our upholstery torn
But everything we tried was right
She used her body just like a bandage
She used my body just like a wound
Ill probably never know where she disappeared
But I can see her rising up out of the back seat now
Just like an angel rising up from a tomb
"Objects in the rearview mirror." by Meatloaf.
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Grissom could smell her appley-hair, he could hear the music of her words wash over them as they strolled their way back to the B&B. It was a beautiful evening, although the humidity was bothering him somewhat. But the moon was fully out, and he was holding her hand. It felt too perfect.
"Griss, can we stay down here for a bit?"
He jerked from his thoughts, as she spoke to him. They were at the edge of the beach, maybe three to four minutes away from the B&B.
"Uhm, sure. But we need to get back within an hour you know, Mrs Sopalo was very clear on her closing times." he smirked sardonically. Mrs Sopalo was more than clear on her closing times. More than once during their checking in, she had told them "We close at 12:30 exactly. You late, you sleep outside. Yes? You can't come in after 12:30, the doors will be LOCKED."
"Just for a few minutes Griss."
They sat on the cool sand. Sara took of her flat sandals, and dug her toes into the tiny granules.
"I loved working here. Everyone, everyone is so nice. They all talk about their kids, their grandkids, their wives, their husbands, everyone talks about their family."
Grissom was silent. He knew what she was saying was important, every word of her past that was spoken fixed a little bit of what was happening in the present...
"I always used to listen you know? When they told me. I would just like, I don't know, drink up their stories. I loved working behind the bar, everyone would talk to you. Working as Bertha's waitress at the B&B only took up a tiny amount of my time, and paid like, so little money that I had to get another job."
Grissom nodded, and she leant into him. With his back against a sort of rocky-stony beach structure, and hers against his chest, they were in a relatively comfortable position.
"So I worked in the bar a few minutes away from the Shatzi. You know, the one with the yellow umbrella outside?"
He nodded again.
"Everyone, they're just so, I dunno, interested. Like, they just want to be friendly. And they don't want anything from you. So unlike Vegas, or San Fran. It's so- so- happy."
She tailed off, and Grissom could feel her pull from his arms, then turn to face him. He could see her eyes shining at him.
"I love you Griss." she leant forward.
Her heart was thudding in her chest. His eyes could see into her soul.
She had laid her heart out bare for him.
He could smell her hair, her perfume. The stars were shining behind her.
She moved closer to him. He wasn't breathing.
They looked at each other. Faces only inches apart.
"Sara, do you truly want this?"
She could see his eyes shining at her. She loved his eyes.
"Yes."
She leant forward. He let her make all the moves.
She ran her hand down the side of his cheek.
She curled her hand at the back of his neck.
He could feel her hand on his neck. God she smelt so good.
He slid his had around her waist, and leant forward.
They made out for what felt like hours to him. And to her.
It wasn't filled with passion and lust, as Sara had imagined for all these years. She had imagined that kissing him would be red-hot, and lust filled, fuelled by sex-drive, or alcohol.
He had never felt what he was feeling right now.
Sara realised, it wasn't lust any more, it was love. She had never been in love before, not like this.
Grissom realised, it was love. He loved her. He had never felt so much emotion through a kiss before.
She pulled away.
"Sara?"
"Time, Griss. What time is it?"
"Oh. We have another half hour."
"It's like we're in high school. With a curfew."
"When you were in high school, I was over 30 years old."
"Hmmmm...breaking more than just curfew then..." she smiled at him.
The spell was broken when Grissom felt a raindrop land on his head. He thought some passing bird had crapped on him, then realised that no sane bird would be flying about after sundown.
Sara voiced his thoughts. "Fuck. Griss. Run"
"Run?"
The sky broke above them. Rain started pouring down on them, they were soaked in a matter of seconds. They were running back to the B&B, Sara carrying her sandals, and almost wetting herself laughing. They flung themselves through the door of the bed and breakfast, panting and laughing.
"What the hell just happened?" Grissom sounded a little pissed off.
"That happens all the time here. One minute, the weather's gorgeous, the next minute, it's practically a tropical rainstorm. We need to get to our room, 'else we'll wake everyone up."
They tried to get to their room making as little noise as possible. Dripping on the carpet, Sara watched Grissom shut their bedroom door.
He turned, and she walked over to him. And kissed him again. They broke apart breathless, and Sara started to unbutton the rest of his shirt.
"Sara, you don't have to-"
She peered into his eyes. "No I don't. But I want to."
He saw that she knew that she wanted to. He looked into her eyes as he slid her dress from her shoulders.
She looked into his eyes as she finished unbuttoning his shirt.
She knew she wanted to. He loved her. She loved him. There was nothing wrong with this.
Nothing wrong with it. Everything was alright. It was perfect.
Wasn't it?
He couldn't believe how she had placed all her trust in him. She wanted to do this with him. He could set it right for her. Make it right for her.
She pushed him onto the edge of the bed, and kissed him again.
And then- and then...Sara wasn't so sure what she felt. Because it was all so new to her...
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Sara could hear breathing next to her ear. She tensed. Only Grissom. It's only Griss. She had to remind herself over and over that she was safe. She was aware of their surroundings. They were spooned together.
Naked.
In a bed.
The nights events came flooding back to her, and she smiled. She wasn't sure what it was, but it was different from everything else. She pulled the comforter further up her shoulders, she was cold, and quietly waited for Gil to wake.
He had hair in his eyes. Long, brown curly hair that most certainly wasn't his. He was spooned against a naked woman. No, he was spooned against a naked Sara. Who had obviously sensed he was awake, and turned to him, propping her chin up on one hand.
"Hey."
"And a good morning to you Ms. Sidle."
She smiled at him. "so what happens now?"
"I'm rather hungry. I suggest breakfast?"
She smacked his cheek softly. "No. I mean, work and stuff?"
"I don't know. Breakfast?"
"'kay. I need to shower."
She slid away from him, out the bed, and walked over to the bathroom stark naked. Grissom gaped. Uh, okay, unsexy thoughts, unsexy thoughts...
"Problem Griss?" she asked him, smirking a little, as she slid on the robe she had picked up from the chair next to the bathroom door.
"Yes, there is a problem. I also need a shower. And breakfast finishes in 30 minutes."
"You also need a shower. Breakfast. Hmmmm, I see no reason why two mature, logical people can't share a shower."
"Ahem. No I don't see any reason why not." Grissom certainly didn't see a problem with sharing a shower with a wet naked CSI Sidle. Nope, no problem at all.
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"Well, we've definitely missed breakfast" he mumbled into her neck thirty minutes later, as she wrapped a towel around herself.
"Oh dear. Guess we'll just have to go out for breakfast."
He smirked as she sauntered from the bathroom. Then he turned on the cold water.
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Catherine really, really hated not being able to contact people when she wanted to. She really, really hated it. So she wasn't in a good mood when she came into the the lab on Thursday night.
"When the hell is Grissom on holiday until?" she asked Nicky who was standing at the coffee machine.
"Only three days to go." he replied tiredly. "I never realised how much work he and Sara did before they weren't here, y'know?"
"Three days to go. I barely remember what Linsey looks like. I don't need coffee, I need alcohol."
"Tell me about it. Have you heard from Sara at all, since she went to San Fran?"
"Nope. Have we any news on the perp?"
Nicky's reply echoed her own. "Nope. Nothin'. Uh, Cath?"
"mmmm?"
"We- we have that evidence from Sara's crime scene..."
"I realised. Why, what's the problem?"
"Some of it still needs to be processed..."
"Well, process it"
"Cath, it could be, uh, material of a sensitive nature, if you get what I mean."
Her heart sank in her chest. "Material of a sensitive nature? Nicky, what exactly is there in evidence?"
"you remember the video equipment?"
"You told me that you didn't find anything recorded when you checked the rooms."
"I, uh, only did a quick check...thing is, Greg found um, a dvd..."
"Has anyone viewed it yet?"
"No, wanted to ask you whether we should leave it till Grissom comes back."
She wasn't sure what to do...maybe they should wait, but what if it was harmless?
"Have- have Warrick and Greg look over it. Then tell them to come see me."
"Cath, you sure?"
"Jesus Nicky just have them look over it! If its something that is 'sensitive information', then we'll show it to Grissom when he comes back."
She knew she shouldn't have spoken the way she did to Nick, but she hadn't slept for 32 hours, Linsey had been so rude down the phone, she needed to shower, she needed to sleep...She needed Grissom to come back, a month without him was bad, but a month without him and Sara?
The amount of extra time the team put in was sickening...
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They had walked down to a small café, opposite the pier, for breakfast. Sara hadn't bothered blow-drying her hair, and now the curls were constantly blowing in her face as she sipped her orange juice. Grissom couldn't help smiling at the sight of her holding it back with one hand every time she had to take a drink.
"Shut up, it's not funny. I wouldn't have to do this if you hadn't rushed me." she tried to glare at him, but couldn't quite manage.
Grissom just smirked, and took a bite of his fried egg. He hadn't felt this relaxed for a while.
Then his phone rang.
And the previous sense of relaxation turned to one of dread.
"Grissom."
"Hey, it's Catherine."
"Hi Cath."
Sara's head snapped up at the mention of her colleagues name, and stared intently at Grissoms phone, trying to make out what Catherine was saying.
"Listen, I'm sorry to bother you on your holidays. By the way, where the hell are you? Do I hear, like, seagulls or something?"
"What's up?" Grissom so was not in the mood for small talk.
"Um, do you remember the video equipment we found at the Bounton house?"
"Yes..." as he said this he stood up and moved slightly away from the table, so Sara couldn't hear him.
"I just wanted to check in that it'd be cool if Warr watched it."
"Yes. Archie said he viewed the start of it, it's Alyssa Henders, Susanna Dawes and Siobhan Meadows...it's not exactly pleasant, it's a snuff film..."
"What!? He never told me!"
"Cath, he probably didn't even realise that you wanted to see it."
"I don't but it's my evidence! I'm going to kick his geeky tv watching butt!"
"He only viewed the start, I asked him to."
"Why?!"
"Warr was busy, and it was important to know if it had anything to do with Sara's case. What if it had just been soft pornography, and you had gotten the whole team worked up?"
"Fine. We'll watch it. I'll phone and give you a report."
"Goodbye Catherine."
He shut his phone without waiting for Catherine's reply, and slumped back to his seat.
"What was that about?" Sara's forehead had creased into a worried frown.
"Nothing important. Just new evidence for a recent case."
"Oh. Okay. You nearly done?"
Grissom didn't feel hungry any more. "Sure. What do you want to do for the rest of the day?"
"Can we drive over to Chessetson?" Sara referred to the small town about 20 minutes drive away. "They have this little farmers market thing on. It looks fun."
Grissom looked at her closely. She didn't give any indication that she had overheard any of his conversation. She had a relaxed smile across her lips, and she looked happy.
"I've never been to a 'farmers market thing'" he made fun of her. "I'd like to go."
She smiled at him, then after paying the bill, tugged him away from the table, back to the B&B. Grissom still relished the fact that here, he could hold her hand in public.
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Catherine looked at her phone. He had hung up on her...sort of.
"What'd he say?" Nick was worried about the DVD.
"Do you know Archie watched the start, and didn't tell me? Ridiculous. It can go in the machine later, when we've done assignments, at the end of shift."
"'kay. Shall I go get Greg and Warrick?
"Yup. Sin City just never stops with the killings..."