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In front of the others you are a calm, almost kind, ruler, but you allow no room for disobedience or failure. There is no other option than to follow you, or one of our brothers, or else they cannot exist in this world, for they are too dangerous and if they amassed we would all perish. Like in our bygone human days, you navigate through alliances and in this way we are alive and none have the power to wrench away our rule. The three of you rule equally, your hands holding power and peace, and I know that it is for the best.

This is how you rule your empire, but when we are alone, meaning when it is only you, and Caius, and your wife, and Marcus, and I, you and I dance beneath the stars, as we did when we were but little children.

When you unleash you true beauty, when you and I are wild, we mock and tackle each other, as if we were little more than two children running through our family estate, as if the edge of Mother's chiton was only around the corner, as if the empire of Rome still stood.

With Caius, I play teasing games of chess, our games often ending with Caius smugly beating me, or me laughing my victory over him, and then he chases me when I run to the gardens, our love full and pure, and his eyes sparkle with innocent mirth that I never see in his eyes, even when he is with his wife.

We are like nymphs, playing carelessly with our power, and living without consequences.

Oh, yes.

I know how cruel all of you can be, even my gentle Marcus, how you love this cruelty.

I see how you can kill others, in the name of conquest, and I see how you have tortured some, but I know why you do it. To be at the top, to rule, to hold absolute power and I know that I cannot, should not, stop you, because you are my older brother.

I love you, I love Caius, and I love my Marcus, and to leave any of you would cause me great harm, and I could never leave you sweet brother, and I know what you do is right.

For if no one ruled, the world would be in chaos, and everything would descend into darkness, and I know that in your hands the world will have order, and be safe for my family, if no one else.

I know that if the three of you did not rule with a firm hand, then we would all perish, and I would kill the lot of them before anyone touched a hair on your head, though I know you would destroy any who think of harming me, in fact you have before.

So, though I do not willingly commit these acts, I know that you are, at heart, my brother, the self same who had taken Father's blows for me, whom had given me parts of his supper, whom would kill any who wish to harm me, and I know Caius stands the same, and I know my Marcus loves me with all his heart.

For this, I can watch as you rip people apart, when your justice is cold and unforgiving, and I know with all my heart that I love you, I love Caius, and I love Marcus.

For if I did not, I know you would hold all control in your hands, I know Caius would sulk as you took power, and I know Marcus would be apathetic with no driving force.

I know that if I did not stay with you, though I would never for I love you so, I know that if I had stayed in Father's grip then the world would be a harsher place. I know that your eyes would never fully fill with true mirth, that you would never forgive our brothers, that even your wife would be subject to one of your fits of rage, that the madness that runs within me, and Father and Mother, would consume you.

Oh, yes.

I know that I am crazed, insane, but I prefer the term mad.

I know that my mind is twisted from my long years trapped in those white, marble, walls and we both know that I can hide it long enough that no one outside of our family knows, but we both know that Father was insane, and that Mother's family was prone to melancholy, that is a trait I see within you and I, that I see within our brothers.

Father, he and his brother were two sides of the same coin, quick to anger each other, you and I learned the savage and subtle sides of combat at a young age. I grew a sixth sense from my suffering and you had the keen mind of a hunter, I think even as humans few could have taken us, I could dodge and push away blows for the both of us, and you could strike with the proficiency of a cobra, do you remember, when we were but children?

Do you remember, shortly before you left, it was a peasant that time, you and I were walking along the grape arbors, Father all the way at the other end, and Marcus and Caius half way down. The man was sitting there, oblivious as to who were, I think he though we were betrothed as you, were sixteen, and I, seven, walking hand in hand, just another set of peasants. Woe upon him, for he tried to defile me, he wrenched me away from you, but my eyes filled with rage and pushed him to the hard ground, Marcus and Caius calling to Father when they saw us. But when the man again lashed out drunkenly, I heaved him away from you, and your arms went to his neck, a moment later we heard a snick and he was dead at our feet. The man was cremated a traitor, and Father commended you for your rescue of me, but you and I both you, deep down, you enjoyed saving me and I enjoyed protecting you.

Sweet Mother, her family was prone to despair, and she died when our baby brother did. I have never seen this within you, for that I am glad, for you are my rock, and I fell into this pit of desolation when you had left me.

Marcus is like Mother; at times he falls into deep depressions, as if the world's weight falls on him like Atlas. Caius is like Father, prone to anger, but it is I who keeps us together. I keep our madness within our close-knit group, and I know that any mate to you or Caius must be mad to a degree as well. I know that insanity runs deep within us, but who wants to look deep enough to see it, to risk knowing that their world is built upon a set of mad people?