Disclaimer: Naruto is, in fact, mine. And I invented the toothpick, too.

Warnings: Sex, though not as graphic as the last chapter.

Finding Sakura

By Michiru's Mirror

Chapter Two

Her shirt was inside out, her skirt was on backwards and she had forgotten her bra in Sai's apartment, but Haruno Sakura did not notice. Her brain was far, far away, too distant to feel even the tears streaking her face.

This is sick, Naruto had said to her. This is disgusting. Only in Sakura's mind and memory the words had been twisted until cries of you're sick, Sakura-chan, you're disgusting rang through her head over and over again. Unbearable, those words. Intolerable. They threatened to burst open her skull.

She had sat shaking on Sai's floor after Naruto had left, unable to move or do anything but cry for several moments. Sai, who had read in a book that hot beverages were soothing, went to the kitchen to make tea; unfortunately Sakura misunderstood the gesture. Her mind twisted Sai's action from one of friendship to one of cold indifference, just as it had twisted Naruto's words. With another sob she had leapt up, grabbed her clothing, and ran out the door. Sai did not follow.

And so here she was now, wandering the streets of Konoha in a daze of self-loathing and pain. God, she should just put herself out of everyone's misery.

She had tried so hard, trained so long, and it still wasn't enough, was it? It would never be enough. She had promised herself that she would be strong, strong enough to protect her boys, and here she was as pathetic as ever.

She could hear all of their voices telling her so. She had always had the voices in the back of her head jeering at her, but lately it had been hard to hear anything else. She tried and she tried and she was just falling further behind, becoming more and more useless with each passing month. She was protected and pushed out of the way, a burden to be born. Everyone, everyone had told her so with words or eyes: originally it was Sasuke, who sneered at her weakness; then Kakashi, who had paid his most useless student so little attention; Yamato, who had tried to comfort her by telling her the strength of her feelings was more important than the strength of her body when he kept her from fighting

Only Naruto had been separate. On nights when she lay crying and wanting to give up, she always remembered that at least he believed in her. He had inspired her with his own determination to succeed, and comforted her with his simple lack of harsh words for her mistakes and flaws.

You're sick, Sakura-chan! You're disgusting!

Now, even he had come to see just how pitiful she was. If Naruto could see it, then it had to be true.

Sakura came to her house and tried to turn the doorknob three times before her fogged brain registered that it was locked. She hoped she had her key. The cuts Sai made had partly clotted, but blood was still soaking into her shirt in copious enough amounts that it would soon show even through red cloth in the dark.

She could heal herself, of course, but there was something childishly satisfying about bleeding while nobody noticed. Only a flimsy few millimeters of cloth blocked her body from discovery, and something about that was exciting and funny. Sakura realized she was giggling as she opened the front door and stepped inside.

Her life was ruined now, Sakura reflected as she walked into the bathroom. She did not panic as she thought this, because she was in so much emotional pain that her mind was filtering out any other negative emotions as a defense. Naruto would tell everybody, and they would find her disgusting as well and shun her. Tsunade certainly didn't need perverted masochistic weirdoes on her staff, and this would be the final straw for Kakashi-sensei as well. She was already useless, but weird too? This went way beyond his Icha Icha fetish.

Sakura stepped into the shower and did not feel how freezing the water was as it cascaded over her and irritated her partly-healed cuts. She healed herself after awhile, though, because there was no reason not to—she wasn't tempting fate inside her own home, and anyway there was no fate left to tempt with her secret as good as out.

She got into bed and was asleep in an instant. The sheer weight of her emotions, some she was aware of and some she wasn't yet, exhausted her.

Sakura was walking down the hallway of Konoha Hospital, and for the first time in living memory it was empty. The unnaturally clean walls were the same as always, and trays of sterilized tools and wheelchairs and blankets lay around as though they had recently been used—as though people had been here a moment ago, but disappeared at Sakura's approach. Even at night when visiting hours were over patients lay in their beds and the night staff could always be found at their desks, and this was broad daylight. Where did everyone go?

But there! There, just at the corner was a trace of spiky black hair that she knew so well, that she'd dreamed about every night of her life. "Sasuke-kun!" She cried. "Wait!" But he did not wait. Instead the hair disappeared from her sight and when Sakura herself ducked around the corner there was no sign that anyone had been there at all.

Sakura jumped as she heard a rustling sound from the patient room to her left, like someone shifting under thin sheets. A patient, perhaps? Curious, Sakura turned to read the name plate on the door: Hatake Kakashi.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura gasped. She threw the door open joyfully, only to find the room empty and the far window wide open. She rushed over, concerned that her teacher had fallen, and looked out into a bright and sunny meadow. There was Kakashi-sensei with Naruto and Sasuke by his side, back to thirteen years old just as they had been before Sasuke had deserted them. Crying out, Sakura tried to jump outside only to find the window had closed itself again. She tried to open it, and then to bang on the window to catch the attention of the males outside. They did not hear her.

Sakura was back in the hallway again, and did not remember how she'd gotten there. She looked around, green eyes taking in the spotless hallway and half-open, empty patient rooms. It was as though this hallway had no ending, as though it was impossible for her to find a way out.

The medic heard a sound from behind her and turned, coming face to face with Uzumaki Naruto. He was sixteen again, dressed in a strange mix of his own pants and Sasuke's old shirt. And had his eyes always been black? Weren't they blue?

Whatever. "Naruto!" She said. "I can't find a way out of here!"

Naruto shrugged. "I know the way out," he said.

"Thank God. Show me!"

He looked genuinely confused. "Why would I do that? You're disgusting."

Sakura blinked and he was gone. Her face was wet; the jade-eyed girl reached up and found tears streaking her face, undeniable and unstoppable. Her heart hurt, she realized, hurt so badly that she couldn't stay on her feet; she crumpled into a gasping heap on the ground. And ah, there before her was a nice, sharp scalpel. All she had to do was use it, run it over her wrists or neck and then the pain would be gone forever and ever, no more disgusting, useless Sakura…

There were feet standing before her. Startled, Sakura dropped the scalpel that she had just picked up and looked up to see a woman she did not know. The woman was lovely; sex appeal had left her long ago, but she had a radiant smile and beautiful gray-streaked golden hair that framed her face perfectly. Kind blue eyes looked down at Sakura with no judgment. "You poor dear!" Said the woman. She knelt down and opened her arms, and Sakura fell into them without hesitation and bawled for what felt like hours, letting her pain leak out of her.

"Now then," said the woman, "you just cry all you want to, and then you tell your Auntie all about it."

Auntie? Sakura didn't have an aunt—both of her parents were only children. But somehow the title felt good and right when applied to the woman who held her, and so Sakura nodded and sniffled and said, "Auntie."

The story spilled out of her in a rush, but Auntie didn't seem to need help understanding. The older woman held Sakura in a strong yet gentle embrace, radiating comfort and understanding. Auntie didn't blink as Sakura talked about being useless, didn't cringe when Sakura told her about the recent need she'd had to punish herself in increasingly vile ways, didn't make a sound when Sakura talked about how something inside of her seemed to make people want to leave her.

"Well, my dear," said Auntie gently after Sakura's tirade had faded into soft sniffles, "if your friends are leaving you behind because you're not strong enough, then the only thing to do is find a way to become stronger."

"I've tried!" Sakura sniffled. "For almost three years I've worked so hard, but I'm still the one who gets pushed out of the way!"

"If you've come to the limits of what you can do by yourself, then there's no shame in asking for help," said Auntie gently. "After all, Naruto wouldn't be so powerful if he didn't have a demon inside of him to boost his chakra and heal his wounds, now would he? Would Kakashi have mastered all the jutsu he has if he hadn't been given the sharingan?"

Sakura was distraught enough that she didn't question how Auntie knew about the kyuubi or the sharingan.

"Well…that's true. But how can I get the help I need?"

Auntie smiled down at Sakura. "Darling, your Auntie can help you there."

Sai took his time walking to the training field the next day. He was confused, he was worried, and both feelings were alien to him. Blocks of stone streets and wood houses passed by him unseen as Sai turned the previous night's events over in his head.

He didn't understand what had happened; neither sex nor friendship were topics that Sai had any experience with. He had come to rely on Sakura above any other to explain such things to him; it was she who had explained the connection between Naruto and Sasuke, she who had shown an interest in his past with his brother and tried to help him piece his memories together. When she had come to him asking for sex he had seen no reason to refuse. Was she not a person he could trust to teach him new things, a person who had his best interests at heart?

And what on earth had made Naruto so angry? Naruto had sometimes shown irritation when Sakura had invited Sai along to events Naruto didn't wait the other to be part of, or when Sai said something against proper etiquette, but for the most part the blond had been as good and loyal a friend as Sakura herself. Sai had begun to trust the other man, and was…hurt that Naruto had suddenly lashed out at him with what appeared to be killing intent.

The blond man's upset obviously had something to do with Sai's coital relationship with Sakura. But what could it be when the relationship was consensual?

It was less than two months ago that the sex began. Sai had been moving into his new apartment, and Sakura had offered to help him. They were hanging up his many pictures when Sai had heard Sakura gasp.

"This phoenix is amazing!" She had cried, stretching the picture out in front of her face and devouring it with her gaze. "It's just ink and paper, but you've put such life into it. I feel like it's going to fly right off the page!"

Sai shook his head. "I don't like that one. The beak is off and the tail is too long."

"Really?" Sakura seemed genuinely shocked that he could think so. "But the long tail makes it look so graceful!"

Sai shook his head again. "I've been promising myself for weeks that I'd do that one over. But…somehow it seems like a daunting project."

Sakura smiled. "It makes you nervous to try again?"

Sai wasn't sure how to answer, so he said nothing. Truthfully, he was nervous. He had a routine when he painted: first he'd see an image in his head, and second he'd pull out his brush and paper and record the image. Simple. He only very rarely painted something that didn't come out perfectly, and on the occasions that he did he would simply throw the failed picture away. Yet the phoenix was special, somehow. As Sakura had said, there was life in it, a feeling he couldn't explain. For almost the first time here was an image that he couldn't picture in his head with perfect clarity, an image that came from something deep inside of him that he couldn't explain or even fully understand. What part of his psyche was this image attached to? What memories, what feelings would it shake loose if he pursued the frightening option of painting without a set image in his head? And what if he couldn't paint it perfectly? What if he was damned to try and create the image again and again, only to never have it come out right?

"Come on," said Sakura, startling Sai out of his thoughts. "Try to paint it again! Right now."

Sai shook his head. "I have no fresh canvases unpacked yet."

Sai understood now that the way Sakura had taken her shirt and chest bindings off to proffer him her back was a clear message of her desire—understood it because she had explained this after they had had sex. At the time, he took it at face value when she turned away from him and said, "Paint here, then."

The phoenix he painted with broad strokes across her back was still not right somehow.

"Try again," she said, and even Sai heard the strange lilt to her voice as she turned and bared her breasts to him.

He did. It was still wrong.

"Again," she whispered.

He filled her flesh with phoenixes, creatures of fire swooping across her belly and arms and legs, and then her nether regions when all the rest of her had been covered. She was panting by then, wiggling her hips so that his brush went off course and his drawings were ruined—but somehow the swirly patterns that resulted were as fascinating as any finished picture he had made.

When she had suggested that the black swirls could use some red, he had seen no reason not to find out. After all, the shallow cuts had been nothing that wouldn't heal on their own in a few days, or in a matter of seconds with Sakura's power to heal. And if the little nicks had left the girl writhing and begging on his still unmade bed with her legs spread wide and her chest thrust into the air, well, Sai couldn't say he wasn't similarly affected.

When she showed up on his doorstep again two nights after, Sai had realized just how affected he had been; he was very happy to see her. True, the cuts he placed on her flesh became deeper and more numerous as the weeks had passed, and the sex had become rougher, and recently Sakura had been asking him to do things like choke her or push her head into the bed, but none of that was lethal to such a talented medical ninja. And besides, he was the virgin—how was he to know that all of this wasn't normal sexual expression? And so what if she did ask him to hide their relations from everyone else? Hadn't Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-sensei done the same thing with their relationship for three years?

But now he was confused. He knew Naruto was protective of his friends, but the reaction he had displayed the night before was more violent than anything Sai had seen since the blond battled Orochimaru. Had Sakura asked for something so strange that it had made Naruto react like that? Sai couldn't believe that. He trusted Sakura.

When he reached the training grounds finally, he was unsurprised to find Naruto already there; after all, the kyuubi container was forever trying to strengthen himself and this was the place to do it. He was a bit surprised to see Naruto not moving, but merely leaning back against a tree with his head leaning slightly down onto his chest. Why had Naruto come early if not to train?

Sai got his answer when Naruto slammed him against a tree by the scruff of his collar: the kyuubi container had been waiting for him.

"I take it you're still upset?" Said Sai cheerfully, with his usual smile. Perhaps if he tried to act happy, Naruto would see his good intentions.

Naruto instead decided that he was being made fun of. "What the hell kind of question is that? After what you did!"

"And what did I do?" Asked Sai, still smiling.

"You cut her, you bastard!"

"So did you, last week."

"That was training!"

Sai was confused enough to stop smiling. "I don't understand the distinction. Either way she winds up bleeding, doesn't she? She healed herself easily after being cut by you, and heals herself easily after sex with me. Why is it a problem?"

Naruto began to grow enraged all over again. All night he had sat up, growing more and more agitated and struggling to keep the demon within him from bursting free and wreaking havoc. It had taken everything he had not to just kill Sai on the spot, and now the other man dared to look him in the eye and ask him what the problem was?

Kakashi had to pull the two boys apart a moment later. Naruto cursed—his teacher had to choose today of all days to be only a little bit late!

"What's this, then?" Asked Kakashi sternly.

Naruto and Sai both hesitated, aware of Sakura's desire for privacy in this. Besides, neither thought there was any reason to speak: Sai was still convinced he had done nothing wrong, and Naruto was sure he could put things right by himself.

The two boys exchanged a glance of mutual understanding before turning back to their trainer. "Nothing, Sensei," said Sai calmly. "I stole some of his ramen, that's all."

It was clear from Kakashi's expression that he didn't believe a word of it, but as long as the two had stopped fighting he figured he might as well not push. He could always get the truth out of Sakura later.

Speaking of which… "Where's Sakura?"

Naruto blinked and looked around. "Yeah, where is Sakura-chan?"

It was at this moment that a shuriken came flying towards Naruto's back.

With a curse of mingled surprise and worry, Kakashi reached out to pull his former student out of the way. He needed have bothered. Uzumaki Naruto was no longer any novice to the art of the sneak attack. The boy felt eyes on his back, heard the whistling of the deadly throwing star and saw the look on Kakashi's face, and that was enough. In an instant he had leapt aside and the weapon buried itself in the dirt where he had been standing.

The male portion of Team Seven was on alert when their attacker came out from behind the rock they had hidden behind. With their face totally covered by bandages and loose clothing adorning their body, the attacker made it impossible for Team Seven to determine if their enemy was a woman or a small man.

Whether a man or a woman, the attacker was deadly. Without pausing, they leapt at Naruto again, drawing a short sword in one smooth movement and aiming it right at his heart. The kyuubi container was forced to leap back once more as he drew several kunai and let them fly at his advancing enemy.

They dodged, of course, and then Naruto was again dodging a swing from the short sword. Why was this enemy targeting only him? They were acting as though Sai and Kakashi didn't exist!

The other two present members of Team Seven were looking for an opening to help. If they attacked rashly they might well hurt Naruto given how closely the two opponents were fighting.

"I'll put some distance between them," said Sai calmly, pulling out a brush and paper. Quickly he painted out an eagle, a giant creature with a wingspan as large as Kakashi was tall. The ink-bird opened its mouth in a silent screech before swooping from the page and moving for the two combatants only yards away.

Sai was sure that once he attacked, the masked ninja would see him as a threat and at the very least go on guard against him. He was mistaken. As the eagle swooped in and forced Naruto and his opponent apart, the masked ninja continued to act as though Sai was not there. Instead, they swung out at the attacking eagle, plainly eager to get it out of the way so they could attack Naruto again.

A personal grudge, wondered Kakashi? Oh well, it didn't matter. They'd just ask the ninja themselves once they'd taken them down. He ran forwards, his feet kicking up clouds of dust as he went and rammed his elbow right into his enemies head, sending the tiny body flying back with a sickening smack. Before they could rise Naruto had pressed the advantage, leaping forwards and kicking the short sword from his opponents grasp. Sai's eagle swooped down and took the sword before the masked ninja could even think to pick it up again.

Naruto dragged the masked ninja up by his collar, just as he had dragged Sai up earlier, and slammed them up into a rock. He was pulling his fist back, prepared to knock the other ninja into unconsciousness, when a scream from behind him pulled him up short.

It was Ino, running up to him with tears streaming down her face and destroying her usual thick makeup. Her hair was a mess, her clothes were disheveled and her eyes were so wide and stricken that she looked half mad. "Naruto!" She screamed, stumbling along and wildly windmilling her arms to keep herself upright. "Naruto don't, don't hurt her, don't!"

As Naruto looked away, the masked ninja slipped out from under his grip. He cursed. "Ino, goddamn it! Why not?"

Ino reached him, panting and wild. "You moron, you idiot, don't you see, can't you tell—that's Sakura!"

TBC

A/N

Big thanks to those who reviewed, you people make my day.

It had come to my attention that I called Monday's Dusk Noon a woman—when "she" is in fact a man. Deep apologies to MDN.

I'm not quite satisfied with this chapter as it is, so I might revise it later. We'll see.

REVIEWS ARE LOVE!