To Know The Man

by OnyxIvyStone

Can we ever really know someone? Is there a way to see into their hearts and minds and pasts and understand what has made them who they are? Kagome is going to learn that the key to Sesshomaru's soul is what rests in the shades of what came before.

24. Chapter 24

I do not own Inuyasha. Not mine. Never will be. Unfortunately.

Who Nevermore Would Come Again

(From "Resignation")

… … … … …

Let us be patient! These severe afflictions

Not from the ground arise,

But oftentimes celestial benedictions

Assume this dark disguise.

We see but dimly through the mists and vapors;

Amid these earthly damps

What seem to us but sad, funeral tapers

May be heaven's distant lamps.

There is no Death! What seems so is transition;

This life of mortal breath

Is but a suburb of the life elysian,

Whose portal we call Death.

… … … … …

Not as a child shall we again behold her;

For when with raptures wild

In our embraces we again enfold her,

She will not be a child;

But a fair maiden, in her Father's mansion,

Clothed with celestial grace;

And beautiful with all the soul's expansion

Shall we behold her face.

And though at times impetuous with emotion

And anguish long suppressed,

The swelling heart heaves moaning like the ocean,

That cannot be at rest,--

We will be patient, and assuage the feeling

We may not wholly stay;

By silence sanctifying, not concealing,

The grief that must have way.

Longfellow

"We will go and return once we have secured Miyoko." His voice was sure and stern. He did not have the strength currently to argue his point any further with his brother. Not while his son was curled in his arms, snuggled tightly into his chest and cooing. Kagome was perched on his desk, smiling at the sight. Didn't she realize how ineffectual he was when she was near and smiling and their son was cooing? Of course she did. She wanted Inuyasha to come. What was her reasoning again? Miyoko is his sister as well? That was why she had slipped into his study while he was speaking with Kouga and Inuyasha of the plans to approach Satori about his sister on his own. Then Kagome had demanded to be brought a long with their son, hoping to play on the sympathy of his mother no matter how many times he attempted to explain that Satori could not be swayed with infants and pretty mates who love her son. Kouga was currently also attempting to secure his place in the journey. No. Not the wolf. Not only was he in mourning, but also Kouga had an annoying habit of causing Sesshomaru to lose his temper at the slightest spark of insurrection. Certainly not the wolf.

"Love…"

"No more argument, Kagome." He said, raising his voice slightly, which caused his son to startle and whimper. He frowned and looked down at his scrunched face and caressed his cheek. "Shhhh, your mother is being unreasonable. I must keep some level of dignity, my son. Certainly you might stand beside me in this." He fussed more, his wide azure eyes focused on his father as he fretted. There were moments, fleeting moments that Sesshomaru wished that he could hide himself and his emotions from his son, however the fissure of his bond with his mate fixed to his son's aura ensured that he could not without distressing the child. It also ensured that he had to keep his temper. He sighed and shook his head, calming himself until the tiny hanyou calmed and returned to cooing. He raised his brow and looked to his mate. "I will blame you for this."

She smiled and leaned to kiss him gently. "I take the blame happily."

"Take our son and go. You have bent me to your will in this." He murmured and laid the silver haired boy in his mother's arms. The little Sesshomaru squealed and reached up for his mother's ebony tresses, gripping a long curl that dangled near his fingertips. Her mate chuckled and she sighed. "It is my revenge."

"I love you too." She murmured with laughter in her voice and then turned to the door after placing one more kiss on her lover's lips.

He looked up and caught the amused looks on Inuyasha and Kouga's faces. He stood and snarled faintly. "What is so amusing?"

"If I knew a few years back that all I needed to kick your ass was a baby and one of Kagome's kisses…"

"Silence yourself before you say something that you will regret, brother." He said with faint venom, but also amusement in his voice.

"You should have known at least about the kid part, Inuyasha." Kouga said, fighting back his mirth. "Old dog always goes belly up for kids."

Sesshomaru sighed and snarled faintly. He ran his fingers through his hair and smirked. "She returns me my arm and yet I lose my dignity."

"Fair trade?" The hanyou asked, fighting back his laughter.

The Taiyoukai raised a brow and me this brother's eyes, gold for gold. "Considering everything else I have gained through the trade?" He looked at his newly regenerated hand and smiled faintly as he remembered his beloved's lips on each digit and then pressed reverently to his palm. "I believe it was."

Inuyasha and Kouga felt a pang go through them. Inuyasha for what he would never know with Kagome and Kouga for what he never had with Ayame. The hanyou smirked faintly and leaned against his brother's desk. "So it will be you and me and Kouga and Kagome and little Sess. Are you sure you can't convince her to stay with your son? From what you told me about Satori, this might not be the safest journey."

Sesshomaru let out his breath in a hiss as he sat back down at his desk. "I am not arguing with her."

"It's one thing to have her make you listen to reason, but it's another thing entirely to back off and be wupped in this." Kouga snarled, earning a rather dangerous look from the Taiyoukai.

"I am not completely a dog to her will, wolf. Her reasoning is sound no matter how we dislike it. Satori never hated humanity. She once told me that she did not care who I loved or who my sister loved so long as we were happy. It was Inu no Taisho who insisted we mate other inuyoukai, no matter how absurd that seems now. When we were younger, before he disowned me, he took delight in seeking out the purest blooded inuyoukai in the hope that he could make a match for Miyoko and me. Though my father was devoted to humanity, it was only after Satori left him that he turned to them for comfort and eventually to sire a new heir. With any luck, Satori will see my mate and son and know I am happy. She might even yield Miyoko's whereabouts without a fight. Also, if Miyoko is human, Kagome might be able to save her. Heal her. As much as I do not want my family in danger, Kagome is correct. She knew she was correct or she never would have attempted to coerce me in such an… Unfair and rather devious manner."

"You don't sound completely sure about that." Kouga said, frowning faintly. "The kid… It would kill her if he was harmed."

"It would kill us both." He replied frankly. "Inuyoukai are nothing if not devoted to their mates and pups. My son and my mate are my world. Do not think for a moment that I do not know what I am risking."

Inuyasha frowned suddenly. "Sesshomaru… If that's true, then why…"

"I don't know why he did it, Inuyasha. Why do you think I hated you for so long? Why do you think I still hate my own mother and father? For a long while, I only blamed Satori for abandoning us until Inu no Taisho took your mother as a mate and sired you. Whatever happened between them forced them apart so completely that they abandoned their own natures and instincts. It is part of the reason I wish to speak to my mother and not fight her. There are questions I believe you and I and Miyoko will have that only she can answer and she can only do that if she is alive." He looked down at his new hand and smirked. "The fact is, if she presses us to fight, I will be the only one of us who can stand against her. The two of you I will charge with the safety of my son and mate. If it looks as if Satori might attack Kagome and our son, no matter what you must flee with her. I do not care how you get her out, but you must."

"She can take care of herself… She fought against Naraku and helped us win." Inuyasha pointed out, studying his brother.

"Naraku is not Satori. The two are entirely different in how they approach battle. Satori does not give any hint of her actions before she takes them. She is cooler and more collected than even I am. I cannot even begin to guess what her reaction to us will be and I cannot risk losing my mate and our son. As my Beta and Omega, both of you are loyal and devoted to my will. This is my will. We will leave at dusk today. Satori's palace is a day's travel to the South and so we will arrive in the evening. Ensure you are both prepared." He stood again and nodded to them and was almost to the door before Inuyasha's voice stopped him.

"If everything goes wrong… Who will take care of your lands?"

Sesshomaru smirked and turned to meet Inuyasha's gaze. Their golden eyes met and an understanding passed between them again. It was the understanding of blood. The understanding of two men, two brothers who loved the same woman hopelessly, to ageless entities born from the same fire and bone but destined to two separate fates. "You will until my son is of age. You will care for my mate and find a way to make her happy. You will ensure my son does not forget me. You will give him my sword and teach him what it means to be a man and a warrior." The flash of disbelief amused the Western Taiyoukai beyond words as it passed through his brother's eyes. "But only if everything goes wrong and I promise you, I have no intention of dying yet."

Once he had gone, the stunned Inuyasha and amused Kouga went about making preparations for their journey to Satori's palace. Sesshomaru walked to his chambers where he knew his mate had gone with their son. He found her sitting in the doorway on a cushion looking out over the gardens with his son curled in her lap with his head resting on one knee and his body cradled by her legs. She was caressing his ears and face gently as he snoozed with the glossy ebony braid that had been cut so cruelly from his mother's head what seemed to Sesshomaru a lifetime before. He smiled and sat beside her, caressing her shoulder. "An odd poppet for a boy."

"An odd keepsake for his father to keep hidden under his pillow." She replied softly and smiled, leaning against him as he slipped to sit behind her. "When are we leaving?"

"At dusk. We will need to ensure he is wrapped up and warm for the journey." He kissed the juncture of her neck and shoulder fervently, nipping there gently. He smiled as he felt her tremble against him. "I will have Jaken make AhUn ready for our departure."

"We'll find her, Love." She murmured and leaned into his nips as they continued along her neck. He reached forward and opened her kimono enough to reveal the soft skin of her shoulder and the beginning of the rise of her breasts. The fabric was already loosened. No doubt she had fed their son before he had arrived and had not yet completely returned the folds of silk to their proper place. He traced his claws along her skin and beneath the silk, gripping her breast as he nipped her ear. She shuddered and blushed deeply. "I think you missed me…"

"I always miss you." He murmured and kissed along her jaw until she turned so he could capture her lips in a deep and passionate kiss. Slowly he pulled away, receiving a whimper from his mate. "We should lay him on the bed with my beast, Love." He whispered huskily, kissing her again deeply.

"Yes…" She whispered once he pulled away again and blushed as he saw the smile that graced his lips. Slowly she stood, cradling her son in her arms as her love placed mokomokosama on the bed. Once it had curled into a small bed for the tiny boy, Kagome laid him into the furry, warm cushion and kissed his brow.

Sesshomaru reached down to take the silken braid from his son, but stopped himself. "It smells of you… It comforts him."

Kagome blushed and slipped her arms around his waist, clinging to her mate. "Is that why you kept it?"

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her as he began to guide her to the wall across the room from their bed, kissing her passionately as he pressed her against its secure strength. She had healed with his vitality by the time they had reached the palace, much to their delight. Healers had checked her wellbeing and found her well enough not to need any bed rest. He gripped her hips and lifted her up before pressing himself against her. She released her obi and wrapped her legs around his hips as the silk of her kimono fell in a flood to her sides and open as her lover pressed to her. "I want you, but I do not want to hurt you." He whispered, kissing the still present markings at her throat.

She shuddered and ran her fingers through his hair as his hands gripped more tightly at her hips. "I'm alright… Kami knows how, but I'm alright. I miss you, Sesshou…" She whispered, arching her throat into his more urgent kisses and nips along her throat.

He needed no more encouragement. He reached down and freed himself, then thrust slowly into his ready mate, capturing her lips in a loving, heated kiss as a sharp, musical sound escaped her throat at his welcome presence within. His arm, so newly regenerated, slipped up into her hair at the nape of her neck and gripped gently as his other hand held surely at the small of her back as he began a slow, deep rhythm within her. He deepened their kiss to quiet the soft sounds issuing between them and reveled how easily she embraced around him entirely, even along their bond.

As they climaxed together and spun in the power of their sudden bliss and complete union, he delighted in his complete embrace of his mate and how his arms could so fully encompass her slight and slender form he was still pressed against and within. He kissed her closed eyes and then her lips, shuddering softly at the sharp gasps still staggering into their kisses. Her throbbing, heated embrace still claiming him, her limbs still entwined about him, he found his will completely lost. He had no desire to pull away from her and so did not, taking up the same rhythm after a moment of rest and peace. It was only after a few more spiraling climaxes that he could even contemplate pulling from her and releasing her from their union, though he wondered as he pulled from her and heard the aching, whispered cry as his absence replaced his presence within whether he should have remained for a few more couplings.

She leaned against him and felt relief as his strong arms held her fast against him. Her legs would not allow her to stand and her whole body felt as weak and fluttering as the silk at her sides. She moaned softly as he captured her again in an overwhelming kiss and clutched to the silken collar of his haori before he swept her up into his arms and walked with her to the housed springs adjacent to their chambers for a bath. He undressed them and then slipped into the heated water with her, cradling her against his chest. "You make me so weak…" She whispered and felt the rumble of his laughter in his chest before he began to kiss her neck and throat again. She felt herself melt beneath his lips and touch. She wondered if there ever would be a moment or reason important enough that she would say no to him. But then, she never wanted to say no.

He began to bathe her as he kissed her naked skin and found himself smiling as she bathed him in turn. She had to know how much strength she gave to him simply by being beside him. Surely she knew. Surely she understood he would be nothing without her… But did she know? How could she know if he never said the words? He turned her slowly so that her legs were slipped onto either side of his hips. He kissed her tenderly and met her deep sapphire eyes with his own amber gaze. He caressed her face and ran his fingers through her hair, studying her.

She trembled and blushed a bit more deeply, the flush of their lovemaking entirely evident in the whole of her countenance. "What do you see?" She breathed, resting her palms flat against his chest.

"My whole world. My whole future. Everything I ever wanted." He murmured and leaned to press his brow to hers. Their aura flared and he shuddered as he felt her slip onto him, mounting him slowly, sending jolts through him. He clutched her back and his claws cut into her fragile skin, but only slightly. "My Kagome…" He gasped, brushing his lips against hers, groaning softly as her fingers scraped along his scalp.

"Everything?" She asked, shuddering and sighing as she gently rocked her hips against his in a slow and churning rhythm. "I'm not a sword or your power… Or your lands or alliances… I am your mate… Your Love…"

"My strength." He gasped, trying fruitlessly to claim her lips in a kiss, but could not. She pulled away enough to meet his gaze. She did not stop in her slow, overwhelming rhythm, but her eyes; her beautiful eyes shimmered and shone as they took him in.

"Sesshou…" She breathed, tracing the lines at his cheeks and along his chest, leaning to nip at his lips teasingly. "Am I that?"

Her heated breath against his lips was almost torture to him. "You are… My strength… Without you I would have nothing." He whispered and kissed her lightly, then deeply when she did not pull away. He clung to her as she continued, driving him closer to bliss. She pulled back just far enough that she could watch him as she drove him to climax as he so often watched her as he took her. He felt helpless under her eyes and completely prone, but he did not flinch. He ached for her to see him in the way he had ached for so many years to be understood. He needed her so deeply that his need became caught up in his desires. She was his breath. His heartbeat. Until she had learned him, seen him, loved him, he realized how trapped, encased and overwhelmed he had always been. She made him free and strong and so terribly afraid of losing her. But it was that fear that made him strong. It was that fear which made him greater than his father.

They climaxed together and, with hooded eyes, took each other in and shared caresses and fervent kisses. They slipped into each other's arms and held on tightly, as if letting go would sever them from each other entirely.

"Beautiful Sesshomaru…" She breathed and smiled as he clung to her more tightly. She pressed her lips to his neck and kissed him gently. "I will never leave you. I promise I won't ever leave you."

He pressed his eyes closed and tightened his embrace. He felt some of his fear fade. The fear that she would leave him as Satori had left his father ebbed and crumbled. He trusted her. He knew that she would not abandon him. For, as completely as she was woven and built into his soul, he was a part of her. "I trust you." He whispered into her hair. "I love you forever… And I know you will never leave me."

Such certainty is not known by everyone everywhere. It is like a fine and perfect jewel coveted by even the most fortunate and powerful. Such certainty, when lost, is crippling and leaves the prior possessor broken in ways that never can be rebuilt. They become ruins.

The ruin that was once the beautiful, feared and incomparable assassin, Satori, walked through her gardens during a moment of much craved peace. She had heard of Naraku's demise and since then, since her son and his mate had reclaimed the Shikon no Tama, the rogue youkai had calmed and returned to the recesses of the world where they had hidden before the jewel's reemergence. Because of the relative calm, the village she had sworn to protect was safe for a time and Satori could rest and regain some of her internal calm. It had been a long time since she had taken a moment for self-contemplation or any thought past her daughter and the mortals she had sworn to protect. Her mind fell on Kagome; the mortal miko she had learned was her son's mate. She wondered how long it would be for the girl to produce her son an heir. She wondered if she could. She wanted Sesshomaru to be happy with all the love and acceptance of a mother, but she feared she would not live to see a time when she could rejoice with her beloved boy. She doubted he would ever forgive her long enough to even get to know the young miko whom stories had portrayed as beautiful, strong and noble beyond what most human nobility could ever possess.

She wondered, though, if her son could tolerate the presence of Inuyasha. She had learned that the bastard hanyou was a constant companion of the young miko who had so ensnared her son's heart. How could he stand him? Satori knew that if it were up to her, she would thrust her hand through Inu no Taisho's half youkai brat more quickly than his heart could skip a beat. She looked to the west. The sun was setting and she felt her heart pang.

"Inu no Taisho… My love. Every evening I look out to the setting sun and I think of you. I miss you. I miss you with every part of me and still I know that neither of us would have yielded if we were given a second chance to. Our son is happy. Your son is safe. Perhaps when he is dead and our daughter is either embraced by eternity or somehow saved by the will of Kami, I will find my way to your arms again. We could forget, could we not? All the pain that passed between us? Every small betrayal and even, in time, the greatest of all? Could we not, beloved? If only for a moment?"

Her form was slight in the waning light. She seemed so broken and weak. He could hear her across the distance, her words carried by the breeze. He frowned and looked down, but then felt the hand that fell on his arm. He looked to his mate and sighed, then nodded. With his two pack members and his mate and son by his side, they approached Satori and entered her sphere of perception.

"You realize I will kill him if you let him approach any closer, my son. His stench offends me." Her voice was soft, but she knew her son could hear her, even at such a great distance. When her son paused, she turned and saw his hand as it held his half brother back in what she could only translate as a protective posture. She raised an elegant brow and then looked to the beautiful raven-haired woman who carried the hanyou child so protectively. Her eyes… Such beautiful, divinely blue eyes. There was such mercy and strength in her. It was no wonder to Satori that the fissure in her son's soul had healed so completely. She could no longer sense the rift between his soul and his beast. "She is beautiful, Sesshomaru, and so is he. If you had only brought them, I might have bent and told you what I am so certain you wish to know. Where Miyoko is. What has become of her." She met her son's eyes and began to advance upon him. Her face became stony and cruel as a wicked smile captured her lips. "But you had to bring him here. Him. The very personification of your father's betrayal and my weakness. And you act to protect him. Why? Tell me why!"

She rushed toward Inuyasha, ready to kill. She found her wrists caught by both of her son's hands and she trembled, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Because he is my brother." He snarled and threw her back.

She rolled and jumped up to her feet, shaking her head in disbelief. "Your half brother. Barely your blood. Your father abandoned you because of the damage Ryukotsusei did to you while you were in his clutches. He decided he wanted a new heir and I refused to betray my son so that a new heir could take your place. I abandoned him because if I had stayed I would have been forced to betray you as he wished to betray you… Don't you understand, Sesshomaru, the pain that this Inuyasha's existence causes me?"

"He is my brother. He is Miyoko's brother. We come for our sister and, if you can burry your hatred, to bring you back to my palace to find some peace, Mother. Please. Do not make me kill you."

"No. There is no forgiveness for what I have done. What has been done to you. Do not pretend that you could. I know your heart."

"You knew his heart." Her voice was so gentle. It broke Satori's rage momentarily. Long enough to give Kagome a chance to reach her. "Satori, please… For the sake of your son and your grandson and your daughter, stop this now. She came to us, Satori. She told us through the light of the Shikon no Tama as it was being purified that she was fading and soon it would be too late to save her. If you love your children, you will let this hatred go and let us see her. Your daughter's life is worth more than not releasing your vendetta."

"It is… All I have, child." Her voice sounded hollow and haunted as she gazed into the almost hypnotic depths of the young girl's eyes.

"No, it isn't. You have your son and your daughter and your grandson. You even have me if you want to call me family." She approached Satori slowly and smiled faintly as the woman's eyes fell on the tiny boy who was cooing in her arms. Slender, clawed fingers reached out and caressed his tiny face with reverence. "You aren't alone. You don't have to like Inuyasha. You can continue to hate him if you want to, but you can't kill him. We won't let you kill him."

Satori trembled and sighed faintly, leaning to kiss the baby's brow where his father's mark rested. His aura flared with his grandmother's and she felt a part of her crumble away forever. The part that needed her revenge broke away in one unexpected giggle from her infant grandson. She pulled back and caressed Kagome's cheek gently. "I will show you where she rests."

Kagome nodded faintly and followed after Satori once the regal woman turned from her and walked back toward the palace. She knew the three men who had watched the interplay with faint wonder would follow them. She was only worried that none of them would be prepared for what they found.

Up into the palace and through a corridor to a doorway, partially open. Kagome trembled as she felt the strong thrum of miko power from within the room and pink light poured through the crack. Pieces began to fall into place even before Satori opened the door to reveal the sleeping princess, hovering and held away from time, purified by holy power that was slowly waning. "Miyoko…" She whispered as she approached.

"The dragon youkai hunted down many inuyoukai after her father was killed in retribution for their leader's defeat. They killed her beast and left her for dead." Satori's voice sounded broken and when Kagome turned to look at her, she could see the brokenness. Gently she slipped her son into his grandmother's arms. She held him close and felt herself beginning to weep again. When Kagome looked up again, she saw her lover's gaze on his sister trapped in the form of a mortal, human girl with her youkai energies purified utterly from her. "I traded my power and protection over a human town for the help and life of their miko to ensure that Miyoko remained alive… Until I could find a way to bring her back. But there is no way… No way that will save her. I have failed."

"There is a way." She whispered and smiled faintly as the amber, ancient eyes jerked up and met her gaze. She looked to where Sesshomaru was touching the throbbing pink energy that encased his sister, ignoring the pain and singing of his skin. "There is always a way."

Kagome walked to her mate and touched his arm. He removed his hand and looked down to his beloved and smiled faintly. "Always."

He watched as she pulled the jewel from beneath the silk of her kimono. It shone and shimmered in the pink light. "I'll make a wish. A selfless wish. For love. For my love."

"You can't, Kagome…" Satori's voice wavered and felt four sets of eyes fall on her in disbelief. "There was truth hidden from all about the power of the Shikon no Tama. Hidden by my mate and I for the sake of both youkai and humans alike. For our son's sake… No wish can be made on the jewel. If either youkai or human make a wish upon it, selfless or otherwise, the jewel will… Kagome, youkai will cease to exist. They all will be reborn as humans without their power. The same would be true for humans if a youkai wished upon the jewel. We hid the truth so that it would be less likely that anyone would use the jewel for anything but purely the pursuit of power if it fell out of protected hands."

"Would it matter, Mother?" His voice was strong, certain and shattering for her. She hadn't expected his words. Not from her son, the inuyoukai who had only wished death upon humanity. "If she were alive, would it matter? Kagome's heart is pure. If she made the wish, perhaps… Perhaps it would make a difference. It wouldn't change who we are. Only what we are. We are not defined by what we are but what we do. You and Father taught me that."

Satori trembled and watched as Inuyasha approached her daughter. She fought rushing him. Fought and won.

Inuyasha looked at the beautiful mortal girl before him and smiled faintly. "My sister…" He looked up to Sesshomaru with a crooked smile. "We are what we do, huh? You saved my life. Defended me. What does that make you?"

"Your brother." He replied and felt the warmth of his mate's gaze. He looked to her where she held the jewel in her palms. "Nothing will change for us but the outward visage, Love. Make the wish, which will save her… That will save us all."

Kagome nodded faintly and looked once more on each of her beloveds in their youkai forms, as if to freeze their beauty in her mind. She had always wondered what had happened to make all the youkai vanish in her time. She had loathed the idea that the magic in the world could simply be erased as if it had never existed. But now she realized that it hadn't been expunged as she had dreaded. It had been relinquished for love… And somehow that made it all worth it. She looked finally upon Miyoko and found the words that she needed for her wish. As if by divine inspiration, they were not the words she had expected to slip through her own lips. They were words that would change the world, shape the world, and mold all of their futures forever.

"I wish that the beast of Miyoko, daughter of Satori and Inu no Taisho was resurrected so that she may live the life she was destined to have."

So here you all go. Second to last chapter. If I don't get to say it again, you guys rock and I love you all. There will be a sequel to this story, but it is going to be a long time in coming. Even in my head it's huge. In any case, I hope you all enjoyed. Peace. Ivy.