Chapter 19: Fearlessly Forever
It was the next morning and Dudley was perplexed over that Harry hadn´t returned from wherever he had gone to do whatever, it still bugged him that Harry had left like that without giving him anything, he wanted to know what Harry had thought about Draco. It was so easy to see things that wasn´t real because you wanted them to be so badly, to get Harry´s opinion would have been like a final clarification.
He knew it was very naïve to think Draco had harbored anything for him that had resembled the feelings Dudley still were feeling. But to think that everything had been a big lie, it was too painful for worlds, so he wouldn´t go there before someone confirmed that it was the truth.
Even if he just got to know that Draco at least had started to regard him as a genuine friend and thought Dudley was a pleasant person would mean a lot, it would not be what he wanted to hear but it would be better than nothing and he would at least know that he was worth more than nothing to Draco.
Breakfast hadn´t appeared on the floor by the door this morning and he stretched deciding that even if he didn´t want to he needed to eat, he rolled out of bed and took out a t-shirt Harry had left for him in the closet, he grimaced when he recognized it as one of the ones Harry had inherited after him when they were in their teenage years. It was actually too big on him now, and the logotype on the front made him feel uneasy, this was not him and it felt weird to mix who he was with the old and fake Dudley.
He wished Draco had been there, he could just have transfigured the shirt to something that was more the real him, even though he would probably have made something a little fancier appear and insist on that it would enchant his "finer curves and features". He would probably have flirted too and said something like "and also I get something nice to look at and you get to look good, not that you don´t always do of course, I never settle for the second best" and Dudley would have blushed and stammered something in response making Draco snicker and slap him on his arse.
Dudley sighed, it was a nice daydream, he had really loved how they had been around each other and how it had made him feel, he had really thought Draco had too. Back to reality though, there was no him and Draco anymore and he just had to move forward with what he had. He looked down at the shirt in his hands and let out a long exhale before putting it on, there was nothing to it really he just had to get through it, it would get better he tried to tell himself, it just had too.
He went out of the room he had been in the last few days, on the way out he looked around himself surprised to realize that he was in a small townhouse, he had thought he would find himself in a big mansion. He knew Harry was famous in the wizarding world and after seeing Draco´s house he had thought Harry would have something similar, not that Harry was someone that he had thought liked things too flashy or expensive.
When he walked down the stairs he was surprised to see a lot of muggle things, there was a TV next to the big fireplace and he could see a computer when he glanced in through a slightly open door to what had to be a small study. There was of course traces of magic as well all around, the broom standing against the wall, the pot over the mantel for traveling through the fireplace and the moving photography's on the walls. He had gone up the stairs when he had first arrived but he had been so emotionally devastated that he had been in a daze not really taking in anything of his surroundings at the time.
He was startled when he heard a noise from the room he thought was the kitchen, that was when he remembered that Harry had told him he had a boyfriend and that he would probably be home and could help Dudley if he needed assistance with anything.
He cursed and turned around to go back up the stairs, he didn´t want to be to any trouble for Harry´s boyfriend, he had already had to stand having a complete stranger taking up his guest room for the last few days, it was more than enough. It was best if he just stayed out of the way for the time being.
Before he was even able to start going up the stairs he was stopped by a strangely familiar voice "hey there, I thought I heard something" he thought he could hear a smile come from the other boy but didn´t turn around to make sure. "Do you want breakfast?" Dudley shook his head, he was sure he had heard that voice before but it couldn´t possibly be.
It was impolite to go without even greeting the other guy, he sighed there went his plan of staying out of the way. He turned around slowly and was met with a bloke having a wide smile and a pair of gleaming eyes wearing a pink apron, Dudley blinked a few times, it was possible and he did know Harry´s boyfriend, he hadn´t seen him in several years but he was 100 % sure it was him.
He saw when the other boy realized it as well, he frowned and cocked his head to the side before his eyes widened and he started laughing "the world is very small" Dudley froze when he felt a pair of arms encircle him "Dudley, it really is you." What just happened, did he just hug him, after a few seconds he hugged back, it felt nice to feel something else than despair again.
He was relived, they hadn´t ended their friendship in the best of ways so to get this reaction seeing him again was something he would have never expected. "It´s me… Callum?"
Harry´s boyfriend was his old best friend, who would have thought, it was crazy how life turned around on you, he had thought he would never see Callum ever again. Seeing him and getting the greeting that he had made him see that maybe things would be alright, he had people that would like him if he just gave them a chance, maybe if he was lucky he would get his long lost best friend back.
"Harry talked about his cousin, he told me what happened, I´m so proud of you for accepting who you are. I had no idea his cousin was you though, wow" Dudley smiled, really Cullum's energy was infectious.
The hug ended and they moved to the kitchen where they sat down to eat and catch up "I didn´t even know Harry had a boyfriend before yesterday and now I get to know it´s you" it really was mindboggling. "I didn´t even know you had any connections to the wizarding world" he said as an afterthought.
"I actually met Harry in the muggle world, but I do for a fact have magical relatives. My cousins Colin and Dennis Creevey" Callum chuckled at that and Dudley tilted his head in wonderment. "Colin was one of Harry´s biggest fans growing up so when I mentioned that we were dating he had quite a spectacular reaction, running around the house jumping up and down repeating that he and Harry would be family, it was rather cute if I do say so myself."
Dudley just shook his head, how was it that everyone new everyone somehow. This Colin guy sounded quite amusing and Dudley wondered if he would ever meet him, hoping that he would.
He felt himself quite curious how Callum and Harry had met, he liked hearing others stories as they were much happier than his. "You said you met in the muggle world, how did you meet exactly?"
That question lead to Callum getting lost in memories, Dudley had forgotten how much he could talk if he was excited about something, but he didn´t mind at all actually, enjoying the tale of them meeting at an information day for collage. How Callum hadn´t connected the dots from the stories Colin had told him about Harry and the bashful, cute guy that stood there looking a little lost. How they had gone to 3 dates and already fallen completely for each other before he had figured out that he was that Harry Potter when Harry had accidentally said something about quidditch and tried to correct himself saying that the squid dish sounded good. Dudley had chuckled at that for a while wondering if he had looked as in love when talking about Draco as Callum did when he talked about Harry.
It was at least a quarter later before Callum was finished telling the story "I´m sorry, I must bore you just talking about myself like this, what about you and Harry´s old classmate? I always hoped that someday you would be able to love yourself and be able to find someone."
Dudley looked down at his lap, he liked the easy atmosphere and listening to Callum talk, he didn´t want to ruin it with talk about his problems. He had burdened his friend enough with them when they were younger putting him in compromised situations.
He felt a finger on his chin lifting his head up so that he was looking straight in the other boy´s eyes "don´t give up hope if you still think there is something to hope for" he did think that, he hoped there was something to still hope for at the very least.
"Love has its own life, it will happen when we are ready for it. If you and Draco love each other I believe you will find your way back together you just have to believe in it too."
Dudley nodded at that because he did believe, he knew he had found the love of his life in Draco, the question was if Draco had found the love of his life in him, of that he wasn´t so sure. Callum still had some wise words to share it seemed "like we did, we lost our track and went separate ways but in the end we crossed roads again because we were ready to, more mature and understanding, I think the same will be for you and Draco." Dudley hoped that he was right and that it wouldn´t take years until that happened.
There was a tap on the window and Callum went to let the owl in, Dudley couldn´t see what it had delivered more than that it was a small piece of paper. Callum read it and gave the own a bit of bacon before sending it on his way.
When he turned back from the window towards Dudley he had an even wider smile on his face, he took one look at Dudley though and shook his head.
"We should go out and do something today, you have been pent up in here for far too long. First though I will have to get you into something more flattering" Dudley smiled when he heard some muttering about talking to Harry and burning that hideous thing.
He had thought he wouldn´t want to go out in a long time but to his surprise he didn´t mind so much, a little fresh air would probably do him good.
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Draco was sitting in the same corner that he had sat in with Dudley all those weeks ago, he was sitting there wringing his hands together and biting his bottom lip, he hated waiting. He hated waiting even more when he didn´t know what would happen, he liked making others wait on him that was how it was supposed to be and not the other way around.
"Will you relax Draco, they will be here just take a deep breath" Harry was sitting on the other side of the table and he was smiling an all too knowing smile "seeing you nervous like this is very cute though."
Draco scowled and glared for good measure, no one not even Dudley was allowed to call him cute because he wasn´t anything resembling the notion. His irritation just seemed to amuse Harry though who laughed at him stating that the pouting only made him look even cuter.
What if he was nervous, it was only natural if you were trying to make up to your mistake of hurting a person that meant a lot to you. He was very skeptical that Dudley would show up after that Harry had only sent one owl, he wasn´t happy to admit it but he would probably need to do a lot more than he felt comfortable with to win Dudley back, he was prepared to do whatever it took though because Dudley was worth it.
He sneered at Harry ignoring to even address the cute issue "how can you be so sure he will be here?" He hated to hear his insecurities and doubt seep into his voice, this was not like him.
Harry didn´t seem to care however, he was in a spectacular mood it seemed because he smiled dreamily which strangely did reassure him slightly. "Well if you knew my boyfriend you would be too" so that was the reason for that smile "if I have a saving people thing he have a thing for happy endings and sappy love stories, he is such a romantic" the dreamy smile had now turned into a fond smile and Draco looked away, Harry just had to get together with a Hufflepuff didn´t he.
It wasn´t before he felt someone ruffle his hair that he turned his head back around again, Harry was smiling, no he was smirking at him. It was very unsettling, he was not used to have someone having something on him and to have that person being Potter didn´t make him feel any better.
"Don´t look at me like that… You know you have the same silly little smiles when we talk about Dudley, right? You can´t hide from love it absorb you and makes the true you emerge."
He narrowed his eyes "I do not" and that was final, he may love Dudley but it was no way that he was behaving like a lovesick puppy, no way. He regarded Harry and found himself quite enjoying bickering with the other guy, if he succeeded and got back together with Dudley they would practically be family. That thought made him smile and not because it was Harry potter and being family with the savior would benefit to him both politically and higher his status and reputation in the wizard community. No that didn´t really matter what mattered was that he would have people that wanted to be his family because they valued him and not because he was a pureblood or out of obligations.
It turned out that Harry had been right because just a few minutes later they heard voices as the door to the small establishment opened. From the entrance a guy walked in with wavy golden blond hair, light blue eyes and the brightest smile Draco had ever witnessed, his clothes was very elegant and flattered his form to perfection. Draco thought that he should ask the guy where he bought his clothes, or more likely who his tailor was, all thoughts about clothes disappeared however when he spotted who was following the guy in, it was Dudley.
He was looking more incredible than ever, he made a mental note of it probably being to the golden blond boy´s influence. The light from outside was casting a glow over him which was making Draco wonder how he could have missed how beautiful he was and how he affected him and why, there was no doubt in his mind that he was in love with Dudley. The moment disappeared though when he got a better look of Dudley´s face and eyes, there was something missing as he looked a bit distant and the easygoing happiness that was normally present was absent. Draco felt a pang in his chest realizing it was likely due to him, he was what had made Dudley feel miserable and looking hurt and exhausted.
Dudley was looking around himself in astonishment it seemed, he looked like he didn´t really want to be there but didn´t know how to say so. Then he saw Draco and blinked before he frowned. Draco was close to look away, he had hoped Dudley would smile when he saw him like nothing had happened but of course that had been very unrealistic, instead Dudley looked more confused than ever, like he didn´t know what to make of the situation.
Harry made a sound in the back of his throat and got up from the table, he squeezed Draco´s shoulder before making his way over to the stranger that had to be Harry´s boyfriend. He took the boy´s hand and told him it was time to leave, the boyfriend looked like he didn´t want to but after a look from Harry they made their way from the building after that the blond guy had turned around and given Dudley a smile and a thumbs up.
Draco looked at Dudley again, he was nervous, he had talked with Harry and they had come up with a plan but he was still not sure what to do or say now when Dudley was there right in front of him. In the end the only thing that came to his mind was "hi" and he cursed himself for being so inadequate.
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Dudley had thought they would just go out for a walk or maybe do something around the neighborhood, he was therefore very surprised when Callum lead him to the subway and they ended up in London.
He had not been overly aware of their surroundings or of where they were going instead focusing on Callum´s constant chatter that surprisingly calmed him down and made him relax.
Than out of nowhere Callum had stopped opened a door and they had headed inside, it took a few moments before he had recognized the place as the restaurant he had brought Draco to that one time they had went to London. It was very different though, it was no customers and the light had dimmed with candles floating in the air instead of being placed on the tables, there was also roses and tulips instead of those fabricated flowers that had been there before.
He saw Harry and Draco at the corner table and looked at them unseeingly, why was he there, why had Draco wanted him there? He had already opened up his heart to him once and it had ended in heartbreak, he didn´t know if he could do it again. If Draco had never wanted him, never loved or even liked him why was he doing this? If he gave after and gave himself permission to hope it was a big chance he would be hurt again and he didn´t think he could take it a second time, not without being damaged forever.
While he stood there the others left and he was alone with Draco, one part of him wanted to just rush to Draco and hug him and say it was okay and that he still loved him no matter what. The other part of him however wanted to turn around and go back outside, it was all of a sudden harder to breathe, he wasn´t ready for his hope to be put out for good.
Draco greeted him and he nodded before taking a few heavy steps to the table and slumping down on the opposite side of the already seated boy. He swallowed, better make it fast and get it over with "why did you use me? You can tell me, I can take it" he didn´t know if he could but he could pretend he was okay and then not be in private later.
He saw Draco grimace, his hand seemed to twitch like he wanted to reach out but didn´t dare too, Dudley frowned he had thought Draco didn´t really care.
"At first I thought you convenient, a connection that would get me closer to your cousin. I would provide you with a bed and something to eat and you would provide me with a foot in with the most famous man in the wizarding world" Dudley bowed his head, Draco hadn´t cared for him he had only cared for what he could give him and it was painful to get it confirmed. After a moment of silence he looked up and saw that Draco was hesitating and he looked nervous like what he was going to say next pained him "I am not going to lie to you" Dudley must have made an incredulous sound because Draco shook his head "again… helping you was not my priority at first, it just made my actions more justified in my mind and I had planned to just have you around for as long as I needed you."
Dudley looked away, he felt a big lump form in his throat he was nothing more to Draco than Harry had been to his parents, they had taken him in for money where as Draco had done it for getting recognition from Harry. It hurt more than he could have imagined hearing it come from Draco´s lips, he wished he hadn´t gone out today and that he had never met him again, not knowing was sometimes better than knowing the truth. Now he would be able to move on though, to have a closure.
He felt the tears he hadn´t cried coming and he closed his eyes and stood up, he had to get out of there. When he was about to turn around he felt a hand clutching his and he opened his eyes.
Draco had stood up too and to his surprise he was the one crying, in his surprise he froze on the spot. "Something changed" Draco had taken his other hand in his too now "you made me change and I was blind to see it for so long but I see it now."
Dudley didn´t know what to make of that but what he saw in Draco´s eyes made his hope flare up again, he had never seen something more genuine or open before, something conveying so much emotion. This was all there was, this was Draco, his Draco and he couldn´t, no he wouldn´t let him go.
"What changed… what do you see?" he had to know, nothing had ever felt more important than this moment, either he would get complete happiness or be shattered into a million pieces.
Draco took in a breath before giving a half broken smile which was still the most beautiful Dudley have ever seen. "I saw you as a human being and not just a muggle… you showed me that emotions can be more than a weakness and that I don´t need to hide behind masks to be strong" he looked directly in to Dudley´s eyes making his breath catch in his throat "you have made me see and believe in love, that I am capable of love."
Dudley just stared, did that mean…? He didn´t even dare to think it could be true and just waited holding his breath.
"That…" Draco looked like someone that was going to give his first confession in church that was how nervous he looked "that I… love you" Dudley let out his breath. He knew what Draco said was the truth, there was nothing he was hiding behind he was lying all his heart out for Dudley to take and Dudley wanted to do nothing more.
He felt himself smile, a full on beam, the first one he had made since he had left the manor a few days ago, he saw Draco breath out in relief and Dudley did what he had longed to do since he had first seen Draco sitting there, he let go of the other boy´s hands and hugged him close.
When they broke away he felt Draco´s gaze on him, he raised an eyebrow in question "you can´t tell anyone about how emotional I got, especially not Harry" that made Dudley laugh and shook his head, he loved Draco and there was nothing that would ever change that.
When he didn't say anything though Draco narrowed his eyes "promise" which made Dudley laugh more, it was just something so cute with Draco being, well so typical Draco he guessed. "Promise" he said anyway, he didn´t want anyone else to know either because that totally open side of Draco was his, and moments like that was personal.
After that they had pizza, which it turned out Draco had done with the help of Harry that morning, it was custom made for him with his favorites, he shook his head wondering how Draco could have thought that he wasn´t adorable and romantic. He knew better than to comment on the extremely sweet gesture though.
Instead he informed Draco of what he had gotten himself into "you know that now when you have confessed your undying love for me I´m never letting you go, right?"
Draco scowled at the undying part which made Dudley snicker he was so predictable, the scowl became a smile though before Dudley had finished speaking. "I had hoped for something like that actually, I was afraid before, afraid to let myself be vulnerable but with you I am fearless, the only thing I was afraid of was losing you and you have just told me that will never happen."
Dudley nodded, he had been afraid too, afraid to be himself for so long, afraid to accept who he was, afraid to believe he was worth being loved. But with Draco he felt loved all the time, he had felt loved even before Draco had known he loved him but he had been afraid to believe in that Draco had loved him. Now he could let go of those fears and it was refreshing and like drooping a big weight from his shoulders.
He looked at Draco and took up his glass with soda, Draco rose his glass containing wine and they clinked them together. "Forever" he said and Draco smiled and nodded "fearlessly and forever."
They had started kissing after that and had been interrupted by an "awwwe" which had come from Callum who had returned to see how things were going. Draco had seemed mortified at being caught kissing by Harry Potter´s boyfriend, Dudley had just shook his head and smiled fondly at his pouting boyfriend.
He could not have been happier than he was at that moment, his life had turned out just fine, he had family that accepted him in Harry, he had Callum a friend that he could be himself around and he had a boyfriend that loved him. Life could really not get much better than that.
That was the last chapter guys. I hope you liked it, I very much liked to write it at least. There will be an epilogue that I plan to post before Christmas then it´s finished.
I´ll be away for Christmas without Internet and will therefor have a lot of time for starting a new story (: I would like to ask you if you have any pairings or other things you would like me to write about? I will take any suggestions into consideration.
Happy Holidays
Rainbow colored kisses
/Erica