I'm Not Sad Anymore

One shot 3: I'm Here

Disclaimer: I do not own Elphie or Fiyero or Oz or the Badlands or anything except the words on this page.

AN: This is my favorite one-shot that I have written so far. It does my Fiyeraba-shipping heart good.

I got a request to have Elphaba return to Oz and sort of spy on Glinda. I want to keep these one shots canon, so for now, there will be no interaction between the two witches. Maybe in the future, I'll make something work (because I think we all want them to be in each other's lives). Please let me know what else you would like to see in the stories I write for our favorite witches. Reviews make it less cold in the Badlands ;)

Elphaba Thropp was truly happier than she'd ever been. For the first time in forever, she was safe. No one was chasing her (except on the occasions her and her husband played an interesting version of tag in their cottage), she could finally be herself, and she had found someone who loved her, truly, deeply loved her. She never imagined life could be like this. She wasn't simply surviving anymore, she was really living.

She had her regrets, of course. And many insecurities. There were things about her life in Oz she regretted. She wished she could have saved Nessa; regardless of the nature of their relationship at any point in their lives, Nessarose was her sister, her baby sister and she had not protected her from the world…and from flying houses. And although her regrets in regards to Nessa were intense and true, how she left things with Glinda haunted her. She and Fiyero had been gone for almost a year now; they had been dead for almost a year. And every day, she thought of how the Good Witch must be feeling. Elphaba had no doubt Glinda blamed herself for all the deaths in Oz, hell, sometimes Elphaba wanted to blame her, but in the end, she couldn't. Glinda was good. Ignorant, naïve, self-absorbed, and blonde at times yes, but there was not a touch of wickedness in Glinda's body. Glinda did not deserve to go through this, and at times when she voiced her regrets to Fiyero, he reminded her that she did not deserve what she went through living in Oz either. Elphaba didn't deserve anything that happened to her; Fiyero reminded her on a daily basis that she was perhaps the least wicked person in all of Oz.

Fiyero had gone out to gather firewood, for it was winter and the Badlands were known to become very, very cold. Elphaba always missed Fiyero when he went on trips like this, and she worried for his safety, but he always returned within a few days' time, having accomplished his mission and with a gift for his beloved Elphaba.

Fiyero got in late that night and Elphie had already gone to bed. He loved when this happened because he got to surprise her. He gently unpacked his things and left them in the common area; he didn't want Elphaba to be woken abruptly with a loud noise in their bedroom. His wife had conditioned herself to be a light sleeper through years of having to take care of herself and shield herself from arrest or worse. Any time Fiyero found himself thinking of this, it broke his heart. His love had been through so much, too much, more than someone as good as she was deserved. More than anyone deserved.

The scarecrow softly padded into the bedroom of their three-room cottage. He sat on the bed and allowed himself a moment to just look at the woman he loved. Elphaba would never let him do this in her waking hours. She hated when anyone looked at her; she always imagined the hateful and disgusted glare that accompanied a sadistic comment about the color of her skin. She knew that would never happen with Fiyero, but she was conditioned—for her own protection. Fiyero felt almost bad about looking at Elphaba, at observing and adoring every curve and aspect of her beautiful body. But he couldn't help it. He loved everything about Elphaba and he would not rest until she believed him.

Suddenly, Elphaba began to move in her sleep. She was all but screaming and it was obvious, whatever she was dreaming about, was completely terrifying the green girl.

"Fae," he whispered. Trying not to jar her, he gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Wake up, Fae, I'm home. I'm here."

His method worked, as usual, and soon his Fae was slowly opening her eyes.

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Elphaba went to bed feeling more lonely than usual. She hadn't felt this way since before she had left Oz. She knew it was because she missed Fiyero, but she would never admit that to him or herself. He had been gone longer than he'd said he'd be gone and she began to worry. She planned on talking to her and Fiyero's friends, the Oxen who lived in a cottage fairly close to theirs, in the morning to see if anyone they knew in Oz had seen Fiyero. The answer to this question was always no, but Fiyero would always be home by that evening.

She fell into a dreamless sleep. It remained that way for a while until she began to dream about Fiyero. At first, the dream wasn't awful. He was looking at her, which was always disconcerting. She didn't like it, but she usually let him do it because she knew in her heart, it was because he loved her with all of his being. That in itself scared her too, but she knew that whatever love Fiyero had for her, it was matched by the love Elphaba had for Fiyero, which scared her more than his love. What scared her the most, however, was the thought that she could lose Fiyero. She found herself enjoying the dream. In her sleep, she allowed Fiyero to look at her, to touch her in ways she would not allow him in daylight. But the dream took a twist and Fiyero's loving embrace turned into looks from various Ozians that spoke disgust and fear and loathing. She saw them all. Shiz. The Emerald City. Boq. It was awful. The worst part was Fiyero was still in the dream, but he was staring at her with the most disgust of all. He was shouting.

"How dare you turn me into this? How dare you commit these acts? I can't believe I loved you." He turned away from her. "Kill the witch."

Elphaba was crying in her sleep now, and screaming most likely. From out of nowhere, the dream ended. There was only blackness and she felt nothing. Then she felt it. The touch of Fiyero, the man that loved her. That dream was not real, but this was. She heard his gentle tone, softly trying to wake her up. "Fae, I'm here. I'm home. It's me, my love, wake up please."

Elphaba took a deep breath and prepared herself for this being another dream before opening her eyes. She saw his face come into view, clear as day, and the look was not one of disgust or hatred. It was loving and full with concern. "Elphaba? Are you okay?"

Elphaba sat up in her bed. "You're home."

"Yes, I am," Fiyero replied. "But you didn't answer my question."

"Just a bad dream, Yero," she said, trying to brush it off and get Fiyero to pick another topic.

"You haven't had a dream like that in a long time. I thought you had gotten over them."

"Fiyero," Elphaba began to confess, "the truth is I have these dreams all the time. They're usually not that bad, and once I wake up and see you, I'm alright. But they get really bad when you're gone."

"Which one was it? The one where I…" she nodded.

"You know that's the farthest thing from the truth, right?" Fiyero asked his wife in desperation. "I understand the nightmares, but right now, right here, when you're awake, you believe me when I tell you I love you, correct?"

She nodded again. "I love you too."

"I won't leave you alone again. We'll figure out how to gather supplies and—"

"You don't have to do that. I'm okay. Really, I am."

He shook his head. "My love. I don't believe you."

She tried to hold back tears, but she couldn't any longer and eventually the dam broke. "I don't believe myself either."

Fiyero immediately pulled Elphaba to her and held her tighter than ever. "Do you believe this? Do you believe how much love and respect I have for you? And how much it hurts for me to see you in this much pain?"

Elphaba nodded against Fiyero's chest and squeezed him tighter. Fiyero whispered into Elphaba's hair. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I will tell you this every day for the rest of my life and I will mean it with everything that I am. I'm here. You're safe now. I'm here."

AN: I made myself cry. What do you think?