I'm Not Sad Anymore

One-Shot 4: I'm Here Part 2

AN: This is the second part to the one-shot I published in this series yesterday. I really liked it, so I wanted to continue it. Later this weekend, I will post a Glinda-centric one-shot. Please keep the ideas coming. And review please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Elphie or Fiyero. I just own the words they say. And I'm pretty romantic if I may say so myself.

The sun shone in through the window in Elphaba and Fiyero's bedroom. Elphaba had finally fallen back to sleep after loving words and lots of coaxing. Fiyero, however, had remained awake to keep watch over his wife. He vowed to himself to never let Elphaba go through a nightmare like that again. The poor woman was pretending to be perfectly fine after the ordeal she had just been through, and Fiyero pretended to believe her for now, so she could get some sleep. But he was definitely planning on having a serious chat with his wife once she woke up.

Fiyero wanted to hold Elphaba, or at least touch her in some way. He attempted to figure out a way to do so without waking her from her much-needed slumber. He was sitting in the bed, so he slowly moved himself down until he was lying next to Elphaba.

"I love you so much, Fae," he whispered to her sleeping form.

He gently placed his hand on one of hers, barely touching her, and sighed deeply. He continued whispering. "This just isn't fair. You shouldn't doubt my love. You shouldn't feel like you have to."

Elphaba had woken up and she felt Fiyero's hand on hers and heard his words. Fiyero knew she was a light sleeper, but he really had no idea the extent to which that was true. Fiyero continued whispering sweet words to her and Elphaba allowed herself to listen to them and pretend to remain sleeping. She didn't usually allow herself to be coddled by her husband, but this morning, she needed it more than usual.

"Elphaba, I know you're awake right now. Don't be embarrassed or anything, it's okay to keep your eyes closed. Just listen to me, okay? What happened last night was not okay. It wasn't normal." A single tear rolled down Elphaba's cheek and Fiyero wiped it away with purposeful gentleness. "I'm not angry with you, Fae, I know you believe I am, but I am not. I feel nothing but love and concern. I'm frustrated with you because you won't let me help. I mean, I don't really know what I could do, but I have to try. Please let me try."

Fiyero was crying himself now; he was desperate to do something to help his wife. Anything.

Suddenly, he heard something come out of her mouth. But there was almost no volume to it. "What did you say, my love? I can't hear you."

"I said 'alright'".

"Really?" He sounded overjoyed. "Will you open your eyes and talk to me now?"

Elphaba sat up against the headboard of the bed. Fiyero gestured to her to get closer to him and when she was close enough, her wrapped his arms around her, but kept her face to him so he could see it.

"Alright, Fae. What do you think is the reason for all of these nightmares? I mean, I think we both know, but is there anything you're not telling me?"

"Well," Elphaba started. "They started when I was a small child. When I was old enough to start school, probably."

"Did something happen at school, Fae?"

"Oh, no," she replied. "I didn't go to school. Father only sent me to Shiz to take care of Nessa, which of course, I failed at." She laughed without humor. "He couldn't send me to school. I'm green. I would have been an embarrassment. He let me read the books in the library. It was his way of enticing me to go with him on his trips."

"The trips you told me about?" Fiyero asked.

"Yes, Yero. Sometimes the nightmares are about those trips."

Fiyero held back tears at this statement, at the thought that Elphaba, fifteen years down the line, was still reliving that torture in her dreams.

"It's horrible," she said to Fiyero. "We've been together for a year and I still fear your touch because of what he did to me. It's not fair to you."

Fiyero shook his head furiously. "This isn't about me, sweetheart. Keep going. Tell me what you were going to say before I interrupted you."

Elphaba hesitated. "If you really don't want to tell me, Elphaba, you don't have to. If you're not ready, I won't force you."

Elphaba shook her head. "No, I want to. Um, most of the nightmares aren't about when I was little. The stuff from my childhood comes up when I'm awake, mostly. The nightmares started when I was very young, but they're about different things now. The stuff I dream about is mostly from after the Emerald City. All that hiding and hatred. I began to believe it, Yero. And even now, it's hard not to."

"Love, you are perhaps the most—"

"-non-wicked person in all of Oz and beyond, I know. And it's getting easier, it is. I haven't had a nightmare that bad in a very long time. I know I'm safe. How could I not with you here?"

Fiyero smiled. "You're a smart woman. You're right. I'm here. And I will fight all the monsters under our bed for you."

Elphaba laughed. "I appreciate that." She paused a moment and then continued. "Eventually, I'll tell you everything. I'll give you details of my childhood and those years in hiding, I will. But I can only handle a little bit at a time."

"Of course, my precious girl. All in good time. When you're ready."

"That means a lot to me, Yero. And the fact that you care, it's new. But it's an amazing feeling."

Fiyero paused a moment to look at his wife in a moment where it would not make her so uncomfortable. "You're so beautiful, Elphaba."

This statement at times frustrated Elphaba. She knew Fiyero did actually believe she was beautiful, but with everything inside of her, she did not understand how it was possible. She was green for Oz sakes. "Fiyero, you don't have to lie to me."

"Are we really having this conversation again? Elphaba, I will tell you this as many times as you need to hear it, so to believe it would be good for you. It's not lying. It's looking at things another way."

Elphaba smiled. "You know, I actually like that little exchange."

"Really?" Elphaba nodded. "Well, then. It can be our thing, if you want."

"Our thing?" Elphaba asked, amused.

"Yeah. Glinda was always asking for us to have a thing."

Elphaba looked down. "I'm sorry, my love. Bring up Glinda was probably a really bad idea. I really shouldn't have done it."

"It's alright, Yero. It really is. And yes, we can have a thing. And I'd really love it if that could be it."

"Fae," Fiyero started, "do you understand what it means though? The 'looking at things another way' statement?" Elphaba shrugged. "It means that you're unique. And maybe the EC Gazette would not think you're beautiful, but I don't care what anyone else thinks. Your beautiful emerald skin is absolutely exquisite. And you can blush at that statement all you want, it doesn't make it any less true. I love every inch of you and everything about you. You are beautiful inside and out. Understand?"

Elphaba smiled the most real smile she had in an incredibly long time. "I do. And I love it. I love you."

"Can I kiss you now?" Fiyero asked.

Elphaba laughed. "You are such a man."

"But I'm your man."

She laughed again. A beautiful laugh that could rival any other. "Yes, you are. Now kiss me, you."

"It would be my pleasure."

Elphaba laughed again as Fiyero gently pulled her face to his. "I'm sure it would be."

Fiyero placed one hand on the back of Elphaba's head of ebony hair and one on her cheek. Elphaba did the same. "I'm here my love and I love you. And I'm about to show you just how much."

Soon they were involved in the most amazing kiss they had ever shared. It was filled with love and passion, and when Fiyero kissed her like this, Elphaba forgot all of her fears and insecurities. For in Fiyero's arms, for the first time in her life, she was safe.