I'm Not Sad Anymore

One-Shot 6: You'll Always Be Safe With Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Wicked.

AN: Many months ago, I promised you a Fiyeraba one-shot. I've been thinking about it and I hope I've done them justice. I also got a request to have Glinda talk to Chuffrey about Elphie. That will be my next one-shot. Please enjoy this! Warning-borderline M content maybe: abuse trigger warning.

Elphaba and Fiyero had been walking for days. They would arrive in the Badlands in a matter of minutes. They had been quiet the entire journey, both understanding the emotion of their predicament, but neither wanting to recognize it in front of the other.

We can never come back to Oz.

The words echoed over and over again in Elphaba's mind. She couldn't begin to imagine what her best friend was going through in Oz. Dead. Elphaba was dead.

"I'm dead." Elphaba whispered the words almost inaudibly, but with power, expressing it almost like a mantra.

Fiyero heard Elphaba say something but didn't hear the specific words. "What's that, my love?"

The green girl barely spoke up, barely looked up. "I'm dead."

"Fae, the Wicked Witch of the West is dead. Elphaba is very much alive. You get to truly live now."

"Is it really worth it though? I've been in hiding all my life, one way or another. Is this really a change?" Elphaba questioned, unconvinced the "new life" Fiyero spoke even existed. Not in Oz, not in the Badlands, not anywhere.

"I'll make it worth it for you, Elphaba. You don't have to be afraid anymore. We're almost there. You'll see."

Elphaba just nodded, still not convinced. She had been afraid since the day she was born, and that wasn't going to change. It's not like she didn't have reason to be. The witch hunters were child's play to Elphaba. They were not even a threat. As awful as her life at Shiz was before her and Glinda became friends, it was her only escape from home. Well, where she lived. With Nessa. And father. Elphaba could almost laugh at the irony. After all the trouble Frex went through to cleanse his daughter, it turns out he wasn't even her father. Finding it out wasn't awful. It's not like she hadn't heard the phrase before, from Frexpar himself, with disdain and resentment in his voice.

The two walked side by side for several minutes longer until they came across two small cottages. In front of the first stood a pair of Oxen, smiling.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ox, I'm Fiyero Tigelaar." He reached his hand out to shake and the male Ox met it with a hoof. "And this is my future wife, Elphaba Thropp." Elphie visibly shuddered at her name. She hated being associated with her father. She thought no one noticed, but Fiyero noticed every action, every response, and every flinch with every touch. The girl shyly waved to the Animals, with a small but genuine smile. Some of the Animals had escaped.

"Mr. Tigelaar, please call me Cornelius and this is my wife, Jamena."

Fiyero reached out to Jamena and she offered a hoof. "It's pleasure to meet you both. And please, call me Fiyero."

"Of course, Fiyero," Cornelius replied. "We've been preparing for you. Your cottage has the necessary accommodations for basic living. We'll work on enhancing it together."

Fiyero nodded gratefully and slowly and gently wrapped a burlap arm around Elphaba. She tensed but eventually relaxed into the embrace. "We really appreciate you folks' help with this."

Jamena spoke for the first time. "It's no trouble at all." She looked at Elphaba. "It's the least we can do after all you've done for us and all you've been through for it."

The emerald woman smiled at Jamena and then looked at Fiyero. Fiyero spoke to the Oxen. "Well, we've been traveling for several days and we're both very tired. Do you mind if we continue this in the morning?"

"Of course not. Sleep well," Cornelius said and Jamena nodded, agreeing. The two walked into their cottage and shut the door behind them.

There was quiet between Fiyero and Elphaba for some seconds. "They seem nice," Fiyero offered.

Elphaba just nodded, taking in her surroundings as they walked into the college. "Are you all right, Fae?" Fiyero asked, concern lacing his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a little nervous."

Fiyero guided Elphaba into the bedroom and sat down on the bed, gesturing for Elphaba to do the same. "About what, darling?"

"Well…" Elphaba didn't quite know how to word the statement and her green cheeks blushed scarlet and she started wildly gesturing her hands anxiously. "It's our first night in a house together. We're a couple now, so we have to-"

"Whoa." Fiyero interrupted, stilling a panicked hand with his own. "Sweetheart, we don't have to do anything."

"But…" she started. "I thought…" Elphie was at a loss for words.

"You thought wrong, my love. Seriously. It'll happen when it happens. I don't want to rush you."

"I feel like that's really inconsiderate of me. I mean, you love me. And I love you. Isn't that the way it's supposed to work?" Elphaba took her hand out of Fiyero's and stood up, starting to anxiously pace back and forth in the simple, but beautiful bedroom the Oxen had prepared for them. "I mean, Cornelius and Jamena obviously thought…" She trailed off again.

Fiyero laughed softly. "Fae, Cornelius and Jamena don't know you like I do."

"You mean…I mean…you weren't expecting for us to…?" Elphaba made her way back to the bed slowly.

"Sweetheart, can we lie in the bed comfortably and talk about all this please?" Fiyero was already moving to undo the bed covers and lie down in it.

Elphaba hesitated. "Elphaba?" Fiyero asked. She stared at the bed for a few more seconds and then snapped out of it.

"Yes, of course." Fiyero was lying in the bed and Elphie followed suit. They faced each other and Fiyero considered his words before starting.

"I don't expect anything from you, my precious girl. You don't owe me anything, and I am not entitled to anything from you that you are not comfortable with." The look of fear on Elphaba's face hadn't changed. "You don't believe me."

"I'm really sorry, Yero, I just-"

Fiyero didn't like where this is going, so he decided to take charge of the situation. "Don't apologize." It came out more forcefully than he'd intended, and Elphaba's face confirmed it. But he didn't take it back. "Stop apologizing. Oz, I'm so angry right now." Elphaba opened her mouth to apologize once again, but Fiyero noticed and spoke first. "Not at you, love. Just at the situation. Will you listen to me? Please? And try to believe me." Elphaba nodded slowly and took Fiyero's hand, attempting to show him her trust. "I don't have any problem waiting. At all. In fact, I want to wait. We're so tired tonight and stressed from everything that happened. And we do need to talk about it first, of course. So please, please understand that I love you. And I want to be with you the right way, at the right time."

"Okay."

"Okay? You believe me?" Fiyero asked with hope.

Elphaba gave a small smile. "I think I'm starting to."

Fiyero laughed in relief. "Hey, that's good enough for me." He moved himself closer to Elphaba and switched to moving his hand up and down her right arm. It had barely been a second before a gasp left Fiyero's mouth. Elphaba was confused at first and then she understood. Her scars. Fiyero had felt the change of texture on her skin.

Their eyes met and Fiyero's eyes brimmed with tears and an unspoken question.

Elphaba opened her mouth and closed in a series of times before speaking. "It's a burn. It's from acid."

Fiyero's eyes snapped open wide. "An acid burn? From what?"

Elphaba sighed. "I knew this would come up eventually." She rose from the bed and robotically removed her clothing, leaving herself in only underwear. Fiyero watched perplexed, but didn't speak, allowing Elphie to explain in her own way. She purposefully steered clear of Fiyero's outstretched hand, shaking her head to tell him to put it down. "I have them pretty much all over." The statement invited Fiyero to let his eyes roam her body, but he wouldn't give in to the urge. He kept his eyes locked with hers, in an attempt to convince her that his only intention was one of comfort and understanding. When he didn't take the bait, Elphaba continued. "When I lived with my father, he used to take me on trips. He called it 'cleansing'. He would let people pour various substances on my skin to see if it would de-green-ify. He did it himself too. It only made me uglier." Fiyero wanted to reply to this but he needed Elphaba to finish her story on her own terms. "He tried many different things, but it never worked. Obviously. But I was like his puppet. He said I was his property." A tear fell down her cheek. "And I believed him. It left these scars. And these aren't all of them." She looked down. "There are a lot more."

Fiyero's heart broke again and again with every awful word that left Elphaba's mouth. Fiyero slowly stood up and walked towards Elphaba. She cowered slightly, but then, realizing it was a sign of weakness, stood up tall, wiping the tears from her face. Fiyero spoke softly as he gestured to an arm. "May I? I promise I won't hurt you."

Deep down, Elphaba knew his promise would be kept, but she couldn't help her cautiousness. She nodded slowly. Nothing Fiyero would do could possibly be as awful as what had been done to her a child and teenager. Fiyero slowly sank to his knees and wrapped a hand around the burned arm in front of him. He made eye contact with Elphaba and then, with so little pressure Elphie barely felt it, and with so much tenderness she broke into a fresh wave of sobs, Fiyero pressed his lips to the first burn scar he saw. He then slid his hand down to hold Elphaba's and did the same with the other hand as he stood up. He squeezed both.

"First, I don't think you are ugly. You are absolutely exquisite and I love you. Second, I will spend the rest of my life attempting to make you believe that. And third," he paused as he reached up one hand to cup one of Elphie's cheeks, caressing it with his thumb, "when you are ready, and only when you are ready, I will kiss all of your scars. Every. Single. One. Just like the first." At this point, Elphaba had stopped crying, but she still had some stray tears on her cheeks, and Fiyero wiped them away softly. "I know it will take you a long time to believe this, but you never have to be afraid again. I mean that. Sweetheart, you don't have to hide any longer. At all. Share at your own pace, but please share. I promise you…you'll always be safe with me."

That night, Elphaba was content to fall asleep in her love's arms, tired from the journey, but also comforted by the fact that Fiyero knew her deepest secret and still loved her. Fiyero swore to Elphie and himself that he would never let anything happen to her ever again. Elphaba knew she was safe. And although her healing would be slow, it had started and her scars were beginning to fade.

It has been said,

Scars remind us of where we've been. They do not dictate where we are going.

AN: I'm glad to be writing this again. So let me know how I did and please send in requests for future one-shots. Please review and let me know! Thanks!