Disclaimers:
This is a parody of Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door. All characters and various other royalties of Paper Mario are all reserved to Nintendo and Intelligent System as this is for parody use only.
This is an entirely separate universe from the original Paper Mario universe, so expect many inconsistencies made on purpose for comedic effect.
This story contains offensive content such as racist jokes, sexual content, sexism, drug use, a fuckload of violence, and a lot of other offensive shit that we can make jokes about. If you don't like offensive humor then I recommend not reading this but if you still decide to then please leave a comment about how offended you are, I'll get a kick out of it.
If you loved this game as a child and wish to preserve it as pure and full of childhood wonder in your mind then we recommend not reading this because it will fuck you up.
This parody is rated M for ENJOY!
Super Mario and the
Thousand Year Drama!
(Kai Version)
Chapture 5: For Whom the Hell Trolls?
Anticipation Music: Dragonball z American soundtrack - the saga continues by Bruce FaulconerLast time! On Super Mario and the Thousand Year Drama! Mario and the rest of the Team M received a new location to the next star on an artificial Babylon like Fighting Dojo named 'The Glory Hole' where the star was being used as the ornament for the champion belt. They soon awaited the Dojo in the sky where Mario and his friends oddly enough barged on stage for the Star of Greed. Though the host, Grubba had other plans in store for the tardtastic team, they'ed triumphant and scavenged the 3rd Dedly Star. Read and find out what idiotic retarded adventures awaits for these goons this episode of SUPER MARIO! AND THE THOUSAND YEAR! DRAMA!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!
Chapture 5 - 1: Compensation Disorder
[X-Naut Fortress]
Grodus: Beldam Beldam Beldam... Tell me, why have you not wiped out Team M off the face of existence yet!?
Marilyn was gnawing on her own arm like a bone.
Beldam: … We... haven't b-b-b-b-b-b-b-been able to track where Mario or his t-t-t-t-t-team have been since Boggly Woods. I've had to spend the bulk of today punishing my pathetic siblings! Give us 1 more chance. I have a plan that has an 100% chance of sheer su-su-su-su-su-su-success.
Vivian: ...
Grodus: Hmm... A plan you say?
Chapture 5 - 4: A Glitzville Goodbye!
Just a reminder, 5 - 2 and 3 are in the uncut version if you ding dongs wanna read about the Peach and Bowser stories. You know the drill.
[Ghettoport Sewers]
After a few repetitive obstacles that they've been through time and time again, they made it to the front of the 1000 Year Door. Reading the name "1000 Year Door" feels alot smaller now knowing it's not the title of this story unlike the game it's directly based off of.
Yoshi: Damn Mario! I can't believe you be crazy enough to jump off dat Glitzville place! You crazy!
Mario: I wanted to test it!
Goombella: You could have died!
Mario: Welp, doesn't matter cause I unfortunately landed on Flurrie.
Flurrie: It was most extravagant I do say… Does any1 want an orgy?
Goombella: Stop it Flurrie.
Koops: Yeah! Stop it Flurrie!
Mario: Shut up Koops.
Yoshi: So how we doin this star shit!?
Goombella: It's quite simple really. Mario does this thing where he raises up the map in the middle of the shrine, and we place the 3 stars we have into their designated locations.
Yoshi: Aight. Wasn't asking you, but aight.
Mario began the dumb boring ritual and The Stars of Wrath, Envy, and Greed were put in their proper places of the shrines. As you know, blu rays shined like fuck out of the boob looking shrine and the map started levitating and burning a new detailed location onto the map. On the west side of the map for 1ce above the map's compass was burning an image of an oddly curved blue steeple that looks like it was designed by some whacky architect from Chicago.
Goombella: Hmm... It looks like this star is gonna be in some weird orange haunted level.
Koops: Oh geez luiezz. I was hoping we wouldn't wind up in 1 of those places. I have ghost phobia.
Yoshi: Shut up and stop being a pussy ass bitch for 1ce!
Flurrie: MMMmmmm I sure hope I get possessed by a ghost that forces Flurrie into unholy arousing acts she would do either way…
Goombella: Remind me why you're allowed to talk again?
Mario: Alright. We got a new location. Now let's go see Frankly before I get bored and piss on all of you!
Chapture 5 - 5: The Usual Chapture [Number] - 5 stuff.
[Frankly's House]
Frankly: Hmm... Let's see now... Oh my Washington's Washboard! So who's familiar with the name, Twilight Town!?
Goombella: What?
Koops: Who?
Flurrie: Hmmm...
Yoshi: I don't know shit.
Mario: You better not be talking about the town Twilight took place in.
Goombella: That's all the way in Washington state, Mario.
Mario: Why the fuck do you even know that?
Goombella: What? I wanted to see Twilight to see how bad it was as a joke. Every1 knows that the books were way better!
Frankly: Retards! Twilight Town is the town of the area where the next star is located! A.K.A., the Twilight Zone! Not to be confuzzled with the show 'Twilight Zone' from the 60s. I'm gonna be honest for just a second here, I have no fucking idea what this place is all about. All I know is that that place is a little... wierd. Like, eerie and trippy. But not like the good kind of trippy, or the Boggly Woods kind. More like, a darker more weirder level of trippy that most of you might not be used to. But what do I know? All of my knowledge about it, is that it sounds and looks like a haunted level. So expect that!
Goombella: Wait... so why did you sound so excited over finding that out just now?
Frankly: I don't know. I'm old, stupid! But yeah. There's a warp pipe that will take you there in a quick 8 hours on the west side of the Ghettoport Sewers!
Goombella: Your continuity of not knowing much about this place is a little suspicious.
Frankly: I don't care! Now all of you! Get the fuck out of my office lab trap house because I will rape you all in the mouth! I have to go back to finding young sluts to masterbate to on Omegle!
Chapture 5 - 6: Ass Tatts
[Ghettoport Sewers]
Team M as almost usual re-entered the slimy sewers of the Ghetto where Mario greased himself and his team through the vent again. Of course you know, most people aren't retarded enough to go down there. Yoshi: So where you think we go down in here?
Goombella: Well there's a creepy wooden door by us we've never been to before. Let's try that.
Mario: Let do it!
They opened the door and spotted a small room with an ominus brown rustybrick warp pipe that looks like it's seen better days.
Yoshi: Look guys! I found dat warp pipe we was lookin' for!
Team M hopped in the warp pipe 1 at a time. You think this would start the new chapture, but guess again, they ALL got spat out! and slammed into the wall.
Koops: Aww shucks. What in the world just happened?
Mario: WHAT THE FUCK!? NO, WHAT THE GARGLING FUCK!? WE WERE SO CLOSE! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Mario kept entering the pipe and in response, it kept spitting him out!
Mario: IS THEIR AN AIR VENT IN THIS THING PUSHING ME UP!?
Goombella: … I say we go talk to Frankly to see if he has any word about this.
[Frankly's Crib]
Frankly: OH COME ON! WHAT IN FREYA'S FUCK HOLE ARE YOU 5 DOING BACK HERE SO EARLY!? SO HELP ME GOD YOU BETTER TELL ME YOU ALREADY FOUND THE 4TH STAR! CAUSE THAT WOULD BE, THE ONLY REASON, WHY YOU 5 IDIOTS WOULD BARGE INTO MY HOUSE WHILE I'M PULLING MY PORK TO CANDY CRUSH!
Goombella: Yeah... well get this…*ahem*... You see…..the... the pipe.
Mario: Doesn't fucking work.
Goombella: Doesn't fucking work... What he said.
Frankly: ... GOD DAMNIT! Well, what am I supposed to do about it!?
Goombella: I don't know! Use your fucking books about this place!
Frankly: Welp, I don't have shit that covers Twatlight Town's weirdness and what not, BUT! I Do have a much lazier solution for our problems. You see, I made acquaintances with a stranger who lives in that fucking town!
Flurrie: Do tell...
Frankly: Well... he's pretty chill... Pretty off though... He's been dealing me some pretty good opium, and stitched up sex organs! He's a sackboy who lives behind my house! His name is Darkly. Now, don't judge me for wanting to... you know, De-Rail sex organs. That's Frankly's business. When you're 67 years old kids, you're mind starts to wonder off into deeeeep parts of your subconscious sex drive! And when you do alooooot of drugs, you learn alot about yourself!
Mario: Oh cool! He should be easy to find then!
Frankly: Very good, AND IF YOU GUY'S COME BACK A 3RD TIME THIS CHAPTURE, THERE IS GOING TO BE MORE HELL TO PAY THAN THE LEAD SINGER OF CREED'S DOWNWARD MUSIC CAREER. GOT THAT!?
[Back Alley Ghettoport]
As planned, Mario and his strange friends ran into the even stranger character; Darkly. Who was sucking the fat out of a sevvard butt cheek with a silly straw.
Darkly: Why hellllohhoohoohooohohooooooo... What can Darkly do you for.
Mario: Yeah, so how do we go back to Twilight Town?
Darkly: …...Mmmmm... Darkly get's the sheer feeling that you must have tried entering….. the cursed warp pipe and got spat out a bunch...
Yoshi: Yei, we know! Now tell our asses somethin we don't know before we surgically stitch yo ass to your mouth bitch.
Darkly: Well... You're all in luck because that process is ever so simple! You see, the way around the warp pipe's curse, is to have your name tattooed somewhere... on your body.
Goombella: ... whAt?
Darkly: Darkly said you need a tattoo with your own name on it in order to pass through the warp pipe to Twilight Town so it knows you're not a bot... What? Doesn't every1 have a tattoo with their name on them? How else are you supposed remember your own name?
Flurrie: A tattoo with my name on it!? Why haven't I thought of such sheer brilliance?
Koops: But... won't getting a tattoo with our names on us only make us seem arrogant?
Darkly: Do you want to enter the pipe or not?
Goombella: Wait, you're not a tattoo guy, are you?
Darkly: Darkly sure is. Darkly be the only 1 in the region who is, so Darkly is all you have.
Mario: Alright then. Every1! looks like we're getting tatted!
Darkly: Just a few more condition's I have to warn you all about before I partake in this pppprocedure... . 1st, For this tattoo job, Darkly only has this pin in his hand used for sewing organs, and Darkly isn't 100% sure if it's rusty or not. 2nd, from what you can tell by the title of this sub-chapture, I only do ass tattoos. So brace for that.
Goombella: EWW NO! Can't you just do it on my side!?
Darkly: No. Dark is the only tattoo parlor in the entire region, and he only inks butts... So take it or leave it...
Yoshi: Ah he'll yeah! I'm gettin an ass tattoo right now, nigga! I'm going 1st!
Yoshi pulled down his speedo thing and hopped on the table resting on his stomach.
Yoshi: This ain't gonna hurt is it?
[Ghettoport Sewers Again]
Now that they figured out how the fuck to enter that fucking pipe, they can now 'you know what' into it now!
Mario: Okay. If this doesn't work, I'm gonna start a 2nd even funnier holocaust. It will be so funny, when Hollywood makes a movie out of it, they'll have me played by Mel Gibson.
Goombella: You have a concerning imagination.
Yoshi: Yei. let's go to dat ghost so I can cap some ghost ass already!
Koops: My butt hurts.
Flurrie: Mine hurts with sheer joy.
Mario: Yes indeed. OFF TO TWATLIGHT TOWN!
Chapture 5 - 7, 11, and 13: Hand me the Inferiority Zone (it makes more sense when you know the chaptures from the uncut version)
[Twilight Town]
And so, the 3 Shadow Sirens emerged from the ground up in the middle of the town to discuss business of how to do away with Team M 1ce and for all!
Beldam: Mwee hee hee hee hee... Yehe-he-he-he-he-he-he-hessssssss-s-s-s-sssss... This time we'll surely be the end of the line for that wretched T-t-t-t-t-t-team M now won't we? With our n-n-n-n-n-n-newest invention built by the X-Naut sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-scientists, there's no way in Greek Mythology we can f-f-f-f-f-fail now!
Beldam jabbed her finger in Vivian's face.
Beldam: Vivian! Hand me that glorious SuperBongBong I gave to you!
Marilyn was trying to eat 1 of the town's people.
Vivian: What? SuperBongBong? ... Uhh... I hate asking this, but what's that again?
Beldam pulled Vivian's hair with her grimey heroin teeth.
Vivian: OWW!
Beldam: DON'T YOU DARE PLAY DUMB WITH ME YOU STUPID HARLETTBITCH!
Vivian: No really! I honestly have no idea what you mean!
Beldam: So that would mean you are confirming that you WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO THE PLAN YOU ADHDSLUT! F-f-f-fine... I'll reExplain it to you're stupid BOY ears.
Beldam: The SuperBongBong is a d-d-d-d-d-d-device that we are going to use to get really high before Team M arrives! We'll get higher than a n-n-n-n-nnormal bong could get us! We'll get a majical kind of high that will turn us into super powerful dedly blood thirsty steroid v-v-v-v-v-versions of ourselves that will slaughter those pesky fools!
Beldam smacked Vivian in the face is usual.
Beldam: YOU LOLLYCONNING WORM! HOW D-D-D-DARE YOU BACK TALK TO YOUR SUPERIOR!
Vivian: But sis… I didn't say anyth-
Beldam punched Vivian 2ice in the fucking face and kicked her on the ground with her tail leg thing causing Vivian to fall down.
Beldam: I AM NOT F-F-F-FCUCKING KIDDING AROUND, YOU AUTIST! YOU LIE, YOU TALK BACK TO ME, YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN! MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE LET GRODUS KILL YOUR GOOD FOR NOTHING SHADOW ASS!
Vivian: Sniff... sis.
Beldam: YOU ARE NO SISTER OF MINE! You're a lousy abomination and an insult to this planet! I needed you for 1 THING! AND YOU F-F-F-F-F-F-F-FUCKED IT ALL UP BY LOSING OUR G-G-G-G-G-GLORIOUS SUPERBONGBONG!
Vivian: I swear! You never g-
Beldam picked Vivian up by her hair.
Beldam: I NEVER WHAT!? TOLD YOU ABOUT THE PLANS!? I NEVER GAVE YOU THE SUPERBONGBONG!? THAT'S A LOAD OF SHIT AND YOU KN-KN-KN-KNOW IT! JUST LIKE YOU, YOU FRACTION WITTED MORON!
Beldam tossed Vivian back on the ground.
After the unpleasant 8 hour warp pipe ride that ACTUALLY worked this time, the retarded team was shot out smack dab into the town of the Twilight Zone.
Mario: HA-FUCKING-ZA! WE MADE IT!
Beldam: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? THESE GUY'S AGAIN!?
Goombella: Hey wait a second! Aren't those creepy bitches the shadow sirens!? What are they doing here!?
Yoshi: Who they?
Goombella: Those shady characters are the shadow sirens. We fought them 2 chaptures ago, and it looks like they want a revenge battle!
Flurrie: A revenge battle? How dubious I do say…. *rubs nipples*
Koops: Oh geez! It's them!? Oh god… what do I do? I'm so nervous… THIS IS NOT MY DAY RIGHT NOW! I REPEAT! NOT MY DAY!
Mario smacked Koops in the face.
Koops: Thank you. I was really frikkin out for a sec.
Beldam: RRRrrr… VIVIAN! DID YOU SEE WHAT LOSING THE SUPER BONG BONG DID!? NOW WE HAVE TO RELY ON SOLY OUR FISTS!
Just like that Beldam punched Vivian in the face.
Vivian: OWW!
Beldam: SHUT UP WHORE!
[BATTLE MODE]
Mario: Power Level 90
Goombella: Power Level 65
Koops: Power Level 68
Flurrie: Power Level 88
Yoshi: Power Level 55
FP: 10
V.S.
Vivian: Power Level 38
Marilyn: Power Level 60
Beldam: Power Level 24
[TURN 1]
Beldam: I can't believe these guy's are back to distract us from finding Team M again! VIvian! If you weren't such a fucking disty cunt bucket with you're losing shit routine! We wouldn't be in these miss! *lights cigarette*
Vivian: Oh… I'm so sorry sis… I wish I could be a better sist-
Beldam interrupted her by burning her with a cigarette.
Vivian: OWW!
Beldam: If we lose! I'm killing you personally! I mean it! I don't give a shit if you're my sister! YOU'RE SCUM!
Vivian: sniff… Yes sis.
Koops: Oh man! This is so wrong! Mario, can I step in this time!? I actually wanna have a chance to beat up her sister! I'll give her the beating I wish I could have given my bitch mom!
Mario: … Fuck it. Knock yourself out!
Koops: How bout I knock her out!?
Mario: SHUT UP AND UNDERSTAND EXPRESSIONS!
Koops: Uhh… YESSIR!
Mario uses his quake hammer badge to attack all em' sirens by turning his hammer into purple colored stoned thus smashing the ground: [4 Damage All]
Koops: Alright time for my turn!
Koops hesitated and noticed that Vivian for in front of the field.
Koops: Oh… SHUCKS! Mario! What do I do!? Vivian in front of the other 2!
Mario: So?
Koops: Well… I wanna just attack Beldam! Not her! I mean, She's the 1 i'm trying to save!
Mario: Oh for fuck sakes. You forced me to get creative!
Mario shucked- I mean, chucked Koops at Beldam knocking out some of her teeth: [4 Damage]
Beldam: Oww!
Koops: Thanks Mario!
Mario don't mention it.
Beldam: That does it! SIRENS! ATTACK!
Vivian tried punching Mario in the face, which resulted in him elbowing her in the pressure point of her arm: [-1 Damage!]
Beldam: WHAT WAS THAT!?
Vivian: I'm sorry… Since they beat us up last time, I'm a little-
Beldam head butted VIvian. Do you want me to kill you right here, right now!?
Marilyn tried attacking Koops in which Koops countered Marilyn by scratching her in the face: [-1 Damage]
Marilyn: GUH!
Beldam: … AND YOU KEEP DISTRACTING ME, VIVIAN! THAT'S IT! Time to show all of you how to really do damage!
Beldam used a spell to poison Koops: [2 Damage]
Koops: Ugg…. My vision is…. BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEERG!
Vivian: Beldam! Now I think that's going a wii bit too far!
Beldam: YOU'RE GOING TOO FAR! WITH MY PATIENCE!
Beldam smacked Vivian in the face 1 more time.
Beldam: YOU MIGHT AS WELL KILL YOURSELF NOW BEFORE I SNAP AND DO IT FOR YOU!
Vivian: …
Vivian looked over at Koops puking and fainting on his puddle of puke. And Flurrie was licking him for some reason.
Vivian: …. I …. don't think I can do this anymore…
Beldam: I DO NOT TOLERATE YOU'RE LAZINESS!
Vivian: NO! You know what!?
Vivian has Joined Your Party!
Goombella: WHAT!? NO FUCKING WAY!
Mario: GOD DAMNIT! I DON'T WANT ANYMORE PARTNERS JOINING!
[INITIATION MODE]
Mario: God damnit. This isn't happening! She's not even a new character!
Vivian's Abilities: A Primer
Mario: Can some1 explain what the fuck "A Primer" means already?
Vivian can do all kinds of cool shit. Like punch enemies causing them to set on fire . She can also grab Mario into the her shadows under the ground in a non sexual way.
Vivian hugged Mario from the back and pulled him underground into a shadow puddle.
Mario : FUUUUUUUU-
This ability hides Mario and Vivian into a safe spot underground. Unfortunately, they can't teleport when she has Mario with her. They can only stay still in the same spot.
Mario : THAT ABILITY IS FUCKING CREEPY! YOU'RE CREEPY!
Vivian: Oh. Sorry. I'll give you more warning next time. hehe.
Goombella: Encase you all forgotten, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING BATTLE MODE!
[END OF INITIATION MODE]
Beldam: WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!? YOU CAN'T SUDDENLY SWAP TEAMS LIKE THAT!
Vivian: Watch me, bitch!
Koops: Wait. Did she just curse just no- BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERG! [1 Damage]
Vivian: See! Look at the stats!
Mario: Power Level 90
Goombella: Power Level 65
Koops: Power Level 68
Flurrie: Power Level 88
Yoshi: Power Level 55
Vivian: Power Level 30/45
FP: 7
V.S.
Marilyn: Power Level 60
Beldam: Power Level 24
Yoshi: THe hail? Did she just get stronger by joinin our asses? Must be dat Power Plus P badge.
Goombella: THAT'S NOT HOW BATTLE MODES WORK, BITCH!
Vivian: It's okey! I'm on your guys' side! I made up my mind! And I'm not looking back!
Koops: Okay! Just PLEASE SWITCH WITH ME THEN! IT'S UNBEARABLE BEING THIS SICK AND IN BATTLE!
Vivian: Yeah sure! The rest of you guy's take sure of Koopa person!
Vivian carries the nearly passed out Koops and passed him alot to Flurrie, who made Vivian puke in her mouth from the sight of her.
Flurrie started to shove Koops in her cleavage to be nice and safe.
Flurrie: Shh shh shh… I got you hunny… I got you…
Koops puked inside of her tits covering his face in his own puke and flurrie boobage… Poor Koops.
[TURN 2]
Mario uses an overly precisely timed power bounce move on Marilyn knockin her fat spooky ass the fuck out: [15 Damage]
Beldam: MARILYN! YOU BASTARDS! I'LL MAKE YOU ALL SUFFER A BRUTAL FATE! FROM THIS POINT ON, CONSEQUENCES, WILL NEVER, BE THE SAM-
Vivian used shade fist punching Beldam in the meth mouth knocking her the fuck out too: [4 Damage]
[END OF BATTLE]
After the embarrassing 2 turn defeat, the 2 shadow sirens emerged from the floor.
Mario: Ha! Dumb ass bitches!
Beldam: Rrrr! THIS ISN'T OVER YOU FOOLISH FUCKING RATSKALIUMS! WHEN WE FACE AGAIN AFTER WE FIND TEAM M, I'M GONNA TIE YOUR MOUTHS TO ALL OF YOUR ASSES INTO A CIRCLE! I CALL IT, HUMAN RINGWORM! LET'S GO MARILYN! AND LET THIS TRAITER WEEP WITH THESE RANDOM STRANGERS!
Marilyn: GUH!
Beldam disappeared while Marilyn grabbed a metal burger sculpture out of a Burger Joint and took off.
Vivian: Wow… I can't believe after 1000 years…. I'm finally free from my sisters… I never thought I would see the day.
Goombella: Good for you, slut face… NOW LEAVE!
Vivian: Wait! Our friend is still sick!
Goombella: YOU'RE NOT INCLUDED!
Flurrie: I'm trying to cure with with my mammogram region, but it seems to be unable to fix the poor guy…
Koops BLEEEEEERGED of Flurrie's fucking fat face.
Yoshi: I say we get our asses in a item store and ROB DAT SHIT!
Mario: Well yeah. No shit we're gonna rob a store for some Tonic Water… and many more.
Goombella: Well that's great and all, but where the hell do we go find an item store?
Vivian: There's an item store right over there!1
Vivian pointed to an item shop known as Twilight Sparkles.
Goombella: I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, WHORE!
Team M entered the town shop; Twilight Sparkles buying himself a fuck load of items that
[Inventory: 1 Life Shrooms,1 Harry Potter Cloak, 1 Galactic Alien Zombie Dragon Vadgelly Juice, 1 Super Shrooms, 1 Ultra Shrooms, 1 Earth LSD, 1 Stop Time Watch, 1 Tonic Water, and 1 Lightning Bong]
Yoshi: Man, what happened to robbin dat store man. Why the hell you on this Team M shit, if you gonna discourage our asses from robbin shit Shadow bitch!?
Vivian: It's just that…. robbing the store just seemed a bit wrong in this context. That's all. Sorry.
Mario: Wait, when the hell did she know about us being Team M?
Koops: I think she acknowledged it 2 chaptures ago. By the way, thanks for the tonic water guys! Now I don't have kick any buckets amiright!?
Mario: Shut up Koops.
Goombella: Can we just leave and get the star already? The sooner we can finish this whole mission over with, the better.
Mario: Weren't you the bitch who was all hyped up about it in the first place?
Goombella: It's nicer when you're not on a team with other females that threaten your status as the hot 1!
Vivian: Did I… do something by joining the team?
Goombella: NO! FUCK OFF!
Mario: Alright retards! Time to follow the map to the steeple!
Flurrie: It is indeed a shame to not spend some time talking to these gorgeous town people!
Mario: Talking to town's people is a waste of time!
Chapture 5 - 9: Haunting the Steeple
[Creepy Steeple]
[Captain's log. Stardate: May 23rd, 2004. It is 11:07 PM, night time and 64 Degrees F]
After the long walk to the steeple with Mario, and his 5 strange friends at last, made to the front of the Creepy Steeple. And yes, the map turned out describing the shape of the steeple much better than it did Hooktail's castle. Google's even better at describing what I'm talking about cause unlike me, it comes with IMAGES!
Vivian: Hey Koopa person, remember in Boggly Woods when you stood up for me to my sisters?
Koops: Uhh…. *wipes sweat* I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! I mean… aww shucks… Uhh… Oh yeah.. Thanks… My name is Koops by the way…. Also!
Goombella: Alright every1, shut the fuck up! We're here! The Creepy Steeple. I wonder if that was it's 1st original name!
Mario: I'm just bummed out about the forest not being as haunted as every1 made it out to be. It's fucking bullshit.
Vivian: I'm sorry… Maybe the next level will be more haunted.
Mario: Why the fuck are you apologizing?
The sound of running suddenly ran towards them.
Goombella: Guys! Do you hear something?
A sound of cheesy ghost boos began to haunt them all around the building, and through the walls.
Voice: bOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO BOOOOOOOOOoOOOoOOooOOOoooooooOoOOOOO1!
Koops: HOLY FUCKINGSGPSBIUSBGISDBSDIUFBSDIGOUSBSDIUFOSHFUSIOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Flurrie: Oh my… Finally. I've been waiting to get ravished by a possibly randy paranormal creature… Which reminds me. Vivian. I don't think I formally introduced myself yet…
Flurrie grabbed Vivian's cheeks and smooched her.
Vivian: BLEEEEEEEEEEERG! OH MY GOD! I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO-
Flurrie: What did you think of that lovely lip lock?
Vivian: Uhh…. Oh gosh golly….. I uhh...don't wanna lie to you, but I also don't wanna hurt your feelings neither….but… I think you should take better care of your oral hygiene…. you know, for your sake… again… sorry…. I honestly wasn't trying to hurt your-
Goombella: Oh come on… SHUT UP, YOU HOLIER THAN THOU WANNABE, BITCH!
Mario: HEY MORONS! LET'S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE FUCKING GHOST IN FRONT OF US!
Goombella, Flurrie, and VIvian: Sorry…
Suddenly, and Atomic Boo emerged from the walls behind them.
Atomic Boo (Age 300 - 1000): Me he he he he heeee.e... Prepare to get spooked cause you 5 wanderers ain't gonna stand a ghost of a chance! Get it? MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Now let's bOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoss battle!
Yoshi: OH HAIL NAW!
Mario: Great. This guy is already doing damage to me. Brain damage.
[MINI BOSS BATTLE MODE]
Mario: Power Level 90
Goombella: Power Level 65
Koops: Power Level 54/68
Flurrie Power Level 88
Yoshi: Power Level 55
Vivian: Power Level 30/45
FP: 4/10
V.S.
Atomic Boo: Power Level: 120
Battle Music: B.C - Year Zero by Ghost
[TURN 1]
Atmoic Boo: I'm gouling to haunt you all down 1 by 1! And DIE! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!111111111
Goombella: *sigh*
Goombella uses tattle: This is an Atomic Boo. Despite it being made out of 200 boos, it has a power level of 120. It's attacks involve making out with us, sitting on us, or spitting ghosts at us! They all sound like perverted moves when you think about it, BUT THEY'RE NOT, FLURRIE!
Flurrie: OH YES THEY ARE!
Mario uses double jump on Atomic Boo doing a slight: [4 Damage]
A bunch of boos in his atomic body pussed out and left.
Atomic Boo: YOU HALLOWEINERS! Is that all you got? Feast your eyes and watch this!
Atomic Boo covered his eyes with his hands thinking it would actually make him invisible!
Atomic Boo: HAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAA! Now you can't see me! Cuz I vanished! You're all shriek out of luck now, you ghost busting hooligans!
Mario: ... Really? All 200 or how many there are of you left really think that you turned invisible by covering you're- Nevermind. I mean, Oh no... you got us... shiiiitttt...
Goombella: Does he think we're infants or something?
Mario: The fuck if I know...
[TURN 2]
Mario: You know what? Lets use the star we haven't used yet.
Mario held up the Star of Greed!
Yoshi: Finally!
Mario: And now to get greedy... Like what if I stole this entire steeple for myself and turn it into a porn hotel where I make errotica in. I can call it… HOTEL MARIO! Nintendo actually had that idea 1ce for their own business before they became a video game thing. Maybe if I took over Nintendo for myself, I can-
The star started glowing and levitated
Mario there we go!
Soon enough, a bingo looking hologram spawned with icons of powering up offense and defense.
Mario: Holy shit!? What's going on!? How do I work this thing!?
Vivian: Hmm… I know! Try using your mind to control it!
Koops: I was gonna say that!
Mario controlled the bingo thing with his Mario mind causing all of their attack power to power up by 2, and defense by 2. This makes Mario's power level increase by 240, and Goombella's by 170!
Mario: AHA! See that you bulging fuckwad of a Ghost!? You look like transparent Jack Nicholson preparing for a role as the boulder for the next Indiana Jones movie where he has to eat 10000 doughnuts to look like you! You're not scary nor are you at all a threat, you paranormal abomination of a creature-fuck!
Atomic Boo: YOU... DESCRIBED ME!? HOW CAN YOU EVEN SEE ME!? HOW GHASTLY!
Goombella used multi bonk on the fatass atomic boo doing an atomic ass blasting load of: [17 Damage]
Atomic Boo: OWW! YOU JEEPER-CREEPER!
At this point, more than half of the boos have up and left the atomic boo.
Atomic Boo: Alright, take this to your graves! I HAVE AN ULTIMATE BANSHEE BLAST ATTACK JUST BREWIN IN MY CAULDRON!
Mario: Enough of your shitty ghost/ halloween puns already!
Atomic Boo: DRAWN IN MY ECTOPLASM!
Flurrie: Oh my…. What a dubious turn on...
Atomic boo shot out 60 boos at Mario and Goombella only doing: [4 Damage Each]
Atomic Boo: 4... DAMAGE?! WHAT A SPI-RIP OFF!
Mario: HA! OUR OVERPOWERED POWER UPs made you look like a jackass just now!
Atomic Boo: YOU JACKOLANTERN! When I'm done with you, you'll all be bobbing for apples like a gay green phantom!
Mario: Is that even a threat!?
Atomic Boo: IT IS WHEN I SAY IT!
[TURN 3]
Goombella used a powered up double bonk on Atomic Boo: [10 Damage]
At this point, more than 3 quarters of the fat boo are gone.
Atomic Boo: I got a joke for you, Knock, knock.
Goombella: Who's there?
Atomic Boo: Boo.
Mario: Wait I sec. I know what happens after this, so I'll just skip to the critiques! Boooooooooo this joke SUCKS!
Atomic Boo: BUT I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO FINISH IT!
Mario: AND YOU NEVER WILL!
Mario uses an average double jump on the fatigued Boo leaving 0.6 of a regular sized boo to remain: [8 Damage]
Not so Atomic Boo: ... Fuck this gangar! I'm killing myself! See you all in Helloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!
Not so Atomic boo ate himself inside out making him vanish into nothingness.
Mario: Couldn't saying "See you all in Hell" work just fine rather than referencing Helloween?
Mario leveled up to Level 12 boosting up his FP boosting up everything cuz why the fuck not.
Mario: We've needed to do that for awhile now.
[END OF MINI BOSS BATTLE]
Mario: HA! They we're even more retarded than I had realized! My fucking fuck that was easy!
Flurrie: Is was most ghastly I agree...
Mario: Don't you start with the ghost puns too!
Flurrie: Nonsense… I do have a fetish for ghost puns after all…
Goombella: YOU HAVE, EVERY FETISH!
Flurrie: That's right my glamorous Goombella. Wanna make out!?
Goombella: I'D RATHER DIE!
Yoshi: So wait a sec…. wazdat the main boss we was gonna fight? Cuz I ain't seein no new ass star comin' out of dat thang!
Mario: Yeah… no. I think we got 1 more comin after this. So brace yourselves.
Yoshi: Well lemme know when we see him so I can kick his ass!
Koops: We'll make that mean ol' dirtbag eat his underwear sideways!
Mario: Shut up Koops!
Vivian: *giggles*
Mario: … Don't encourage him.
Mario: Let's just head to the door now since we killed the boo I think.
And so, Team M made it past several unnecessary obstacles that are solely built for the inconvenience for guests, they soon enough, made it to the door and up some spooky spiraly stairs leading to a trampoline that will lead to the next boss. That felt alot quicker compared to our last chapture huh. Also, they found a fuckton o' badges on the way. Let's see…. Hammer Throw, Defense Plus, Ice Smash, Tornado Jump, and Power Smash. Talk about good badges huh?
Flurrie: That was inducibly the fastest journey to the boss' lair ever huh? With all of this time to finger around with, would any of you 5 like to orgy with the Flurrie before we fight this ghoulish ratscallion?
Mario: No, cause I honestly would not fuck any of you even if I had a loaded gun to my head. Well…. Vivian maybe… I think. If she's STD free.
Vivian: Uhh…. oh gosh...
Goombella: Gee... Thank's alot Mario...
Koops: Yei... gee... thanks Mario...
Flurrie: I like guns to the head. They make me all randyyyy!
Mario: Alright every1! We are all hopping on the trampoline at the same time for dramatic effect!
Flurrie: I got a better idea!
Flurrie sucked up all of Team M into her mouth like Kirby.
Mario: YOU FUCKING BITCH!
Goombella: WHY!?
Flurrie: LET'S SKEDADDLE!
Flurrie hopped on the trampoline into the room on the steeple with the boss inside. Wanna read all about it? Find out in Chapture 5 - 10: For THIS is who the hell Trolls!
Chapture 5 - 10 & 16: For THIS is Who the Hell Trolls V.S. Team M!
1 second later prior from this Sub-Chapture, the consumed Team inside of the wretched Flurrie made it into the room of the creature who's been turning the town into a bunch of filthy swines. Finally.
In the meantime, FLurrie stuck her finger down her throat and puked out the team.
Mario: God damnit Flurrie! BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEERG! FUCK YOUR BREATH!
Mario Puked on Yoshi.
Yoshi: WATCH WHERE YOU PUKIN, BITCH!
Koops: Look guy's! It's a Crusty Blanket Monster!
Koops pointed to the monster that appears to be this thing with a white blanket used to hide his identity with 2 red demonic eyes sticking out. Imagine a troll creature wearing a cheaply made halloween looking ghost costume with a blue cheesey wizard hat with red stars and a blue ribbon that he bought from Party City.
? (Age 40): SUP FGTS! Wht r u retardz dooing interrupting my "ANIMATION/ MASTERBATION" time?
Yoshi: EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW! FUCK DAT SHIT MAN! SICK!
Goombella: AWW YOU GOTTA BE BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERG! KIDDING ME! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING!?
?: LOLZERZ! What's wrong brah? Uz btchs gotz prolbems with my C-reez 'Sonic Girls Farting'? I'm working on Episode 5 right now! I'm gonna get soo many SUBZ! Especially from the S.D.C. (Sonic Diapering Community!)
Mario: The fuck? ... Please don't tell me that's a real thing..
Vivian: Uhh… I've heard alot of languages, but i'm just curious… What language is that?
Koops: That's troll language!
Mario: Hey retard! Do you wanna hand over the star the hard easy way where we kick your ass, or the hard way where we kick your ass!
?: NEVERZ! I Needz it 2 tr0ll ppl with a air horn I use to turn pplz 2n pigz ironiclyz! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Goombella: Can you explain the irony in all that?
Mario: Soooooo... From what I can already gather from just meeting you, you're a fucking loser with no life who dwells in a steeple spending all of your time tr0lling and masterbating to shameful fart fetish porn. Well, before we fight, let Team M introduce ourselves!
Mario and each of the Team M members turned around and exposed their butts to the creepy loser troll with the retarded LOLOLOL laugh. They all mooned him in the order of joining the team. Keep in mind that they still have ass tattoos from Darkly on the left butt cheek.
Mario: MARIO!
Goombella: GOOMBELLA!
Koops: KOOPS!
Flurrie: Flurrie...
Yoshi: YOSHI, BITCH!
Vivian: Uhh… I still need my tattoo, but, VIVIAN!
?: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! THAT WAS LIEK, MAD UBR OVR 9000 GAY PNTZ! WHR DID U FGTz get those tatts from? A GAY BAR!? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLZ0RS! Allow me to show you how I take care of FGTs!
The stupid ghost creature who wears his blanket to hide his true identity from being seen for troll reasons ran to his Giant Air Horn machine sticking out of his Steeple and pushed the button connected to the machine and turned Mario into a pig.
Air Horn: HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
And NOW Mario's a pig.
Vivian: It can't be...
Goombella: MARIO!
Yoshi: OH HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL NAW!
Koops: Oh shucks...
Flurrie: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS! BEST ORGASM YET!
Goombella: Does that…. really make you…
Flurrie: Yes dearie…. Air Horns make FLurrie's think meaty vadgelly squirt!
Vivian: Uhhh…. Did I... hear that correctly?
Goombella: Shut up Vivian! Nobody likes you! And yes… you heard correctly.
Pig Mario was just standing there looking super pissed at the anonymous troll.
Goombella: Oh yeah… YOU… YOU SON OF A BITCH TROLL! HOW COULD YOU TURN OUR LEADER INTO A FUCKING PIG, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!?
?: L0L, U s0 mad brah! I hrd u liek mudkipz!
Pig Mario: THAT'S ENOUGH!
Suddenly, Mario's human hands started ripping out of his pig form's back as if the pig body became some kind of locus shell.
Goombella: HOLY FUCK!
Yoshi: DAYAMN!
Vivian: Oh thank goodness...
Koops: MARIO! YOU'RE ALIVE!
Flurrie was busy eating her bloody boogers.
?: NOz! Impossiblez! How... DID Uz COUNTERz MY SPELL!?
Mario: Have you all forgotten!? I already have a curse where I can sweat bacon grease! Making myself perpetually immune to the pig spell! So good luck turning me into a pig, you blister clit!
Goombella: As happy as I am that you can do that, how does that make ANY sense!?
Mario: It doesn't! Yet it still works anyway! SO DEAL WITH IT, CUNT!
Mario: As for YOU, fuck ass! By the time this fight is over, I will morbidly force fuck you with every ounce of blood and diarrhea in my body till it comes out your mouth and you die!
Yoshi: WHAT HE SAID!
Flurrie: Yummy…
?: GAY!
[B0SS BATTLE MODEz]
* Mario: Power Level 184
* Goombella: Power Level 65
Koops: Power Level 68
Flurrie Power Level 88
Yoshi: Power Level 55
Vivian: Power Level 45
FP:15
V.S.
?: Power OVER 9000! tbh, it's 120
Battle Music: Trololololol
Just Kidding.
Battle Music: Under Bergets Rot by Finntroll
[TURN 1]
?: Dont b so sure u jerkops can beet mii! I bet u bozos don't even lift! As for ur WOP leader, u look like a gay fat old hybrid of Ron Jeremy and Chris Farley whose eaten and fucked too many donuts! U look gay, and jewish, and no 1 loves you! Where did u get your clothes frm? Teh Gay Pride convention?
Mario: You do "You look like a" comments too huh? Well you know what? You look like a psychotic fugly degenerate mental patient who doesn't even know how to put his own god damn straight jacket on right. You're parents we're probably too poor afford bath tub water to drown you in, so instead, they discarded you into a haunted forest after they found out how much of a pathetic ugly loser you are. You also probably hide under that semen blanket cause of your creme brulee looking acne problem you ugly holocaust oven burnt victim looking autist!
?: Uhhh... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Goombella uses tattle on Doo- I mean, ?. Sorry, I almost let his name most of you already know slip out.
Goombella: This is... Well... to be quite honest, I have a picture of his tattle, but it doesn't seem to come with his name at all. It's 8 question marks, so I assume his name has 8 letters. So I'll just call him Douglass. He looks like a Douglass or something like that. Okay. So this is Douglass. He has a power level of 120 with an HP level of 40. So he seems to have the exact same stats as Atomic Boo so he shouldn't be too hard to beat. Also, I should note that he can transform himself into looking just like us. I guess that's all there is to know so I don't think he'll be too much harmful than that. Especially in comparison to Chompo Grubba.
?: I CAN DO KNOW!?
Mario preformed a double jump with the 2nd jump being a ground pound on the troll with no known name just yet. Oh shit. Potential spoiler! Not really: [6 Damage]
?: LOLOLOLOLOL! Uz liekz 2 hit me wit your $$ U GAY $$! I haven't lolled so hard since I took an arrow 2 da kneez! Get it! Cuz Skyrim exists!? Okay, now watch THIS!
Air Horn: HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Vivian: GOOMBELLA, NOOOO!
Flurrie: OH YES! OOOOOOH YES YES YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS! SO MUCH FLURRIE CUM EVERYWHERE!
The annoying internet troll pulled the lever- I mean, button turning Goombella into a pig.
Mario: DAMNIT!
?: LOLOLOLOLOL! NOW SHE'S PIGBELLA!
[TURN 2]
Mario: God damnit! Koops, you're up!
Koops: U GOTz IT!
Mario: Don't start doing that shit too!
Koops: Oh gosh… Sorryyyy…
Koops did an average shell slam to ? to do a good ol damage of: [4 Damage]
? did his usual cheap ass pig spell attack on Koops.
FLURRIE: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSUSUSUSUSUSUUSUSUSUSSSSSSSSSSS!
Vivian: STOP TURNING MY FRIENDS INTO PIGS, YOU BASTARD!
[TURN 3]
Mario: Useless dipfuck... FLURRIE! JOIN!
Flurrie: Yessir!
Mario traded in Flurrie.
Flurrie then attacked ? with a painful grand slam Denny's boob joke attack smacking his ever loving shit: [5 Damage]
?: L0Lz Timez 4 anotha 1 of u 2 turn N2 a GAYpig!
Mario: SHIT!
?: L0LZ! I IZ FTW!1
Mario: THAT WASN'T EVEN A REAL SENTENCE, RETARD!
[TURN 4]
Mario: Yoshi!
Yoshi: FUCK DAT SHIT! I AIN'T TURNIN INTO NO GODDAMN PIG!
Mario: DO IT! He'll probably turn you into a pig anyway despite if you're tagged in or not.
Yoshi: DAMN NIGGA! WHY YOU GOTTA BE GIVIN HIM IDEAS AND SHIT! AIGHT! FINE!
Yoshi used a 5x ground pound attack on the BR00TLELOLCOWXD: [6 Damage]
?: IMMA FIRIN MAH PIG SPELL!
?x8 turned Yoshi into a pig as well with the power of the air horn machine.
Mario: FUCK! Now I'm all out of useful partners!
Vivian: I'm still here!
Mario: Oh yeah. This timeline is a bit different then the normal game.
[TURN 5]
Mario traded in Vivian.
Vivian: Take this, you meanie!
Mario: Vivian… Don't call the enemy "meanie". It makes you sound dumb.
Vivian: Oh right…. mybad.
Vivian punched ? in the face and caught him somewhat on fire: [4 Damage]
?: TITZ or GTFO!
? for the last time pig spelled and did it all over Vivian turning all of Mario's partners into fucking pigs.
? burned off an extra: [1 Damage]
[TURN 6]
Mario: Alright... Fffffffffcuck.
?: LOL! U N00BZILLA! WATCHU GONA D0z WIT N0 PARTNERz BRAH!?
Mario: SOMETHING CLEVER!
Mario used his hammer throw badge to threw a wooden hammer so hard at the Air Horn machine through the wall, that it exploded causing every single person who has been impacted by the shitty spell to turn them all back to normal.
Goombella: YES!
Vivian: I'M BACK TO NORMAL!
Flurrie: Aww... Flurrie isn't a pig anymore...
Koops: HOORAY!
Yoshi: YEI! BITCH AINT BE TURNIN MY ASS INTO A GODDAMN PIG NO MORE!
Battle Music: Chemical Warfare by Slayer
?: WHAT!? MY... U... Uz DESTROYEDz MY AIR HORNz!
Vivian performed another shade fist attack on the shitty troll: [4 Damage]
Suddenly, the Star of Lust popped out of the busted Air Horn machine and landed on the laptop smashing it.
?: MY LAPTOP!
Goombella: LOOK! THE STAR!
?: U N00BIXCUBES! BACK OFF MY STAR OF LUST! It's what I use to hurt people by thinking of horny thoughts with! Watch this!
? held up the Star of Lust like how Mario's done it.
The star started glowing and he started levitating in the air and started circling around the team doing a move known as "Art Attack". The star drew a rainbowey circle around Team M 3 times cutting them up everywhere: [9 Damage]
Goombella: HEY! YOU CAN'T ATTACK ALL OF US WHEN WE'RE OFF THE STAGE!
?: JUST DIDz SLUT! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
?: Burn a little more: [1 Damage]
[TURN 7]
And Vivian did a 3rd punch to ?. Who doesn't wanna punch that character: [4 Damage]
Mario raised up the Star or Wrath for a course of action.
Mario: I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU CLUSTER CUCK I HOPE YOU FUCKING KILL YOURSELF IN A FUNNY WAY!
The Star started glowing and growing as if I haven't made that joke 4 or 6 times in the series by now.
Mario: JUMP ON, RETARDS!
Mario and the rest of Team M hopped on the star.
?: LoonaticsUnleashedIsMyFavoriteShow!
They jumped on as the Star of Wrath to grew into the size of your fat fucking mom and nearly destroyed the steeple... but didn't. But at least it did this much damage: [6 Damage]
And it finished off ? thus ending the battle.
[END OF B0SS BATTLEz]
Yoshi: AWW YEI! AWW YEI! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! DAT SHITS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Mario: Yeah guyz. Now all we needz to do iz grabz the star and WII R OTTA HEER!
Mario grabbed the Star of Lust from the unconscious purple shadow Mario looking thing.
Goombella: What the? Why are you talking like ? ?
Mario: Sorry. Itz was a little contagiousez that's all. Now come on! NOW WE CAN PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Koops: WEEEEEE!
Mario: Come on! Let's go celebrate N00Bs! I mean... Retards!
Vivian: … Alright… I'll say it. Who the hell are you, and what did you do with Mario?
Mario: Whatz r u tlking boutz? I iz Mario! ITza Mii! Mari0!
Vivian: … That's not how Mario talks…
Goombella: Vivian! Will you shut up!? Sorry Mario… I think she's too stupid to be on this team. You should kick her out.
Vivian: Goombella. I know what I'm talking about and that's not Mario! Aside from his voice change, I can just… kind of tell…
Koops: What are you saying Vivian?
VIvian: I'm saying that that guy's the troll we were just fighting! He must have said a smell under his breath that caused him to switch bodies with our leader!
Mario: LOLz! GET BAKz in teh kitchen and makez me a sammich!
Vivian: Knock it off, troll!
Yoshi: Girl, is you high as fuck or something?
Koops: But what if… she's right though… ?
Gooombella: Stop being stupid Koops, and let's GO!
Flurrie: Hmm…. I think our lovely little shadow doll pointing it out is starting to lure me into thinking maybe she's right as well/
Mario: LOLz iz u all on crackj?
Yoshi: Hmmm… Aight! I buy it too. Bitch, whatcha doing with the real Mario!?
Goombella: Guys. Hehe.. Is every1 being hit by a stupid storm or something?
Mario: ….LOLz… Alright. You caughtz me. But whatchu gonna dooz aboutz itz? The only way I can trade back with Mario, as if I want to!
Vivian: Then we'll have to beat the shit out of you till you give it back!
Koops: Wowzers! When did you get so badass!?
Yoshi: Hell yeah! Hooray for moar ass whoopinz!
Flurrie: The real Mario better beat me off for this!
Goombella: Great… So you all choose to listen to the new bitch instead of me? I see how it is.
And so, Goombella, Koops, Flurrie, Yoshi, and Vivian gang bnaged the ever loving fuck out of Mario- I mean…. FUck it. For those of you who don't know. The troll's name is DOOPLISS! So there! Yoshi kept kicking his shin while Goombella kept jumping on him while Vivian kept smacking him while Flurrie kept rubbing her butt on him while Koops kept stranging him like a psychopath with pent up issues.
Doopliss: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! FINEz! I'LL SWITCH BACKZ NOWZ! Just… please… no more… no morez…
Doopliss: 5thformfriezalooksprettycool
Doopliss majically switched bodies with Mario and whatever yadayadayada you get the idea.
Mario: What the fuck just happened just now?
Vivian: That troll tried switching bodies with you while you were unconscious! So we kept beating him up till he gave you your body!
Koops: And it worked!
Mario: Cool. In that case, wanna grab the star and continue beating his ass?
Every1 else: SURE!
Doopliss: Wait what? No- No, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Closing theme: Intro To Finale And Closing (2nd half) by Bruce FaulconerWow! Talk about a good ol' way to finish a chapture huh! So as you know, Mario and his strange friends continued beating up the fuck-troll. Now that Vivian is an official Team M member, what about Beldam and Marilyn? Aren't they gonna be pretty pissed off? Well, Beldam at least? Find out as we BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE NEXT FUCKING CHAPTURE IN SUPER MARIO AND THE THOUSAND YEAR DRAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
-To be continued
Credit's theme: You're gonna die by Destroy all Monsters
Creator: IAMMASTER
No vibes were harmed in the making of this.
Based on a True Game