Chapter 2: Science Fiction and Fairy Tales
Back in the small meeting room at Storybrooke Town Hall, Will Robinson sat alone as he watched the documentary "Interstellar" that Henry Mills had set up for him. Will rolled his eyes as he watched the spaceship Endurance cruising toward Gargantua.
"What a piece of junk!" said Will aloud, half-hoping that someone from Storybrooke was there to hear him. "And this world is still using Saturn V's as heavy launch vehicles? Unbelievable . . . ." But it was the robots of this technologically backward world that really made Will groan with contempt. Unlike their B-9 G.U.N.T.E.R. Environmental Control Robot that accompanied the Robinsons on their mission to Alpha Centauri, these so-called "TARS" robots looked like they were patterned after old-fashioned folding wooden rulers. What a joke!
But as Will watched the "documentary," it slowly dawned on him that it felt more like a fictional movie, no matter how realistic it seemed. And when it was over, his suspicions were confirmed by a real documentary that came on afterwards about how the movie "Interstellar" was made.
Will got up to go to the main meeting room where his family were discussing their situation with the Leading Citizens of Storybrooke. But before he got to the door, it opened and a young woman with her dark hair in a "Pixie Cut" came in to see if Will wanted anything to eat or drink.
"No thank you, Ma'am," said Will.
The woman smiled, and said, "It's alright if you want to call me Mary-Margaret." She gave Will a quick once-over, and said, "Is something wrong, Will?"
Will was about to say that everything was fine, but there was something about Mary-Margaret that reminded him of his teachers at school, and if Mary-Margaret was anything like they were, she would be able to see right through him. So, Will told her about what had happened with his sister and "Prince" Henry Mills, and how they left him behind to watch a "documentary of this world's Space Program," only to find out that it was just a fictional movie.
"Well," said Mary-Margaret. "I covered the history of this world's space programs with my class a few weeks ago. I'm by no means an expert, but maybe I can answer a few of your questions, Will. Just give me a few seconds to log in . . . ."
Will nodded. He was right. Mary-Margaret Blanchard is a teacher. She used a strange looking typewriter keyboard (and an even stranger looking lump of plastic next to it) to control the room's main video monitor (which was far too thin to hold a proper cathode-ray tube,) to make it display a screen that said, "Google" (but that Mary-Margaret called "The Internet.") And from there, Mary-Margaret pulled up a wealth of information that seemed overwhelming to Will at first, but then she narrowed it down to single entry that she called a "website."
And from there, Will Robinson saw that he was in a world that had, for all intent and purpose, lost all interest in space exploration. The people of this world had no bases on the Moon, much less Alpha Centauri, and had yet to develop a Deutronium-Annihilation Hyper Drive (if they were even trying to, at all.) Only twelve (twelve!) people from this world had ever been to their Moon – something that Will did with his own class in Fifth Grade!
This world did not even have a reusable space ship. Or rather, they did at one time, but then retired it (even before its replacement – which is still being designed - was in service,) after a few accidents.
Compared to the people of Will's Earth, the people of this world seemed pathologically risk-averse when it came to Space Travel. Will closed his eyes for a moment when he remembered his Fifth Grade class stopping at the Lunar Cemetery to pay their respects to the hundreds of men and women who gave their lives for humanity's survival and to expand its knowledge.
One thing that Will had to give the people of this weird version of Earth, though, was that they did seem to have better computer technology – even better than some of the advanced alien civilizations that he and his family had met. But they seemed to use it mainly for entertainment purposes, such as making movies like "Interstellar," instead of making real interstellar spacecraft.
They didn't even have Saturn V's, anymore . . . .
Then Will asked Mary-Margaret about the town of Storybrooke and the world that his family had just landed in. Unlike Henry Mills, Mary-Margaret was all too happy to answer Will's questions, and Will began to methodically understand the world that he found himself in.
The town of Storybrooke, Maine, Will learned, was populated by people from a Realm of Storytelling called "The Enchanted Forest." Now things were beginning to make sense. Will's sister Penny had always been fascinated by the Fairy Tale worlds, and now she found herself actually in one, but friendlier than the one that they had just barely escaped from. And to make matters worse, she was now being shown around the town of Storybrooke by a boy her age who, according to Mary-Margret (who also, it turned out, was Henry's maternal grandmother,) was a genuine Fairy Tale Prince!
As Penny's brother, Will knew that he would have to keep a VERY close eye on this Fairy Tale boy, "Prince" Henry Mills, whenever he was around his older, albeit somewhat naïve sister.
It wasn't that Will was prejudiced against Fairy Tales, or anything; his family had taught him better than that. And if Penny really wanted to date a boy from another genre, that was her prerogative. Will did not have any problem with that either, so long as whoever Penny went out with treated her respectfully. But Will also knew that Fairy Tales had some pretty strange ideas about "finding their One True Love," and because of this, Penny would definitely need his protection. It was his Sacred Duty as her brother.
With nothing else to do, Will went with Mary-Margaret to the Town Hall Meeting that had just been convened by Henry's mom, Mayor Regina Mills, who will found out was actually a Queen from the Enchanted Forest. That made Will's opinion of Henry even lower. Henry's mother – The Queen! – had ordered her son to answer any questions that he had about this world and Storybrooke, and he had brazenly disobeyed her!
But not only did Henry blow him off to launch a "charm-offensive" against his sister, he put on a fictional movie to "answer" his questions about this world's virtually non-existent space program. It actually bothered Will that this world (where it was the year 2014!) could not build a REAL interstellar spaceship – even a piece of junk like the Endurance; much less the Jupiter 2 – if their lives depended on it! They probably couldn't even build those stupid-looking folding-ruler robots for real, either.
But Will had to admit that this world's computer technology was nothing less than formidable! As the meeting took place in the Storybrooke Town Hall, Will saw several of the attendees using their "Electronic Swiss Army Knives," as his father had called them, performing multifarious tasks as they listened to the meeting. This struck Will as being impolite, but Mary-Margaret told him that they were probably sending written updates of the meeting - "texting," she called it – to friends of theirs who could not be in actual attendance due to limited space.
"But how can they listen to a meeting and communicate with people on the outside at the same time?" said Will.
"It's called "multitasking," here," said Mary-Margaret. "People here – in this realm – like to do several things at once, and often have to. I guess you could say that after 30 – odd years here, we all just "went native."
Will sighed. The meeting seemed to drag on and on, just to reach the conclusion that the Robinsons would apparently be staying in Storybrooke for the foreseeable future. Then, it segued into where they would live and what they would do while they stayed here.
Dr. Smith seemed to be overjoyed at the prospect of staying; especially when Professor Robinson and Major West (the latter maybe a bit too happily,) said that even if the Robinsons eventually left Storybrooke and this world, that Dr. Smith could remain behind, if he so chose, and Mayor Mills and the townspeople did not mind.
When Dr. Smith expressed his desire to remain in Storybrooke permanently and Regina acquiesced, a man in the front row, who identified himself as Dr. Whale, came up to the front of the room stated that he was sure that he could find a place for Dr. Smith at Storybrooke General Hospital. Dr. Whale, who was originally from a Realm known as the Land Without Color, added in barely a whisper as he pumped Dr. Smith's hand in welcome, that it would be nice to actually have the company of someone from a more "Civilized" Realm of Fiction to talk with, for a change.
Will thought that that would be the end of the meeting, but that was not to be. Mayor Mills' next item of discussion was where in Storybrooke should the Robinson's Jupiter 2 be "parked," since it could not remain in front of the Town Hall indefinitely. But before Will could groan, Mary-Margaret offered to show him and his sister Judy around Storybrooke before taking them over to Granny's Diner when it was time to eat; an offer that both Will and Judy accepted immediately.
After a quick tour of Storybrooke, Mary-Margaret took Will and Judy to Granny's Diner. Will was somewhat surprised to see that Penny and "Prince" Henry were already there. Will silently thanked G-D profoundly for small favors when he saw that they were not sitting together, but were sitting in separate booths as "Prince" Henry spoke with two other boys in one and Penny was at another booth with two local girls. Mary-Margaret then excused herself to return to the meeting at the Town Hall that was unbelievably still going on, promising to return later with everyone else. Judy went over to join Penny and the other girls at their booth. With nothing better to do, Will followed his sister.
As they approached the girls' booth, Will gave his surroundings a quick once-over. This was an actual diner from out of an old movie or TV show, or something; probably even the local "High School hangout," for that matter. There were booths, tables, a counter with swivel seats, and exotic smells coming from the kitchen that made Will's mouth water. There was even a jukebox in the corner playing a song where some girl was half singing / half whining that, "We are never, never getting back together!"
The song ended just as Judy and Will came over to the table. One of the girls, a tomboyish looking blonde, said, "Well, Penny, what did you think of that song?"
Penny said, "I really liked it, Ava. Of all the singers you have played for me, this one has to be my absolute, all-time favorite! "But are all her songs about boys that she broke-up with?"
The Storybrooke girls giggled, and the second girl replied, "Pretty much, yeah. But not all of her songs; especially some of her newest stuff. Just wait until you hear the songs on the album that she just released! Ava, don't you have "1989" on your iPod?"
Sure, Grace," said Ava, taking out a small, thin rectangular object out of her pocket that was even smaller than one of the Electronic Swiss Army Knives that everyone here seemed to be attached to. "Just listen to this one, Penny!" She handed Penny the earbuds, and Penny smiled as she listened to the song, oblivious to Will and Judy standing next to her.
A few minutes later, Penny said, "Oh, I love this song! But . . . now, I don't want to sound ignorant, but . . . what's a ". . . lonely Starbucks lover?"
This made both Ava and Grace giggle again, but not impolitely. They were just getting ready to explain the mysterious lyrics when Penny noticed that her brother and sister were standing next to them, and said, "Will, Judy, I'd like for you to meet Ava Zimmer and Grace Hatter. Oh, Judy, they want to give me a makeover tomorrow morning, so I will be up on this world's latest fashions!"
"Don't get us wrong, Penny," said Ava. "You are very pretty. But your hairstyle and outfit just screams "Retro-Future Space Age," or something. I think that when we re-style your hair, and put you in jeans and a more modern top, you will really look good!"
"I know that Henry will think so," added Grace with a bit of a twinkle in her tone as well as her eyes.
"Yeah," said Ava. "Tell us about you and Henry and your walk on the beach!"
"Oh, do you mind if I join in?" said Judy. The other girls nodded, and Penny scooted over so Judy could join them.
That did it for Will. He was not going to ask his sisters to move over to let him into their side of the booth with them, much less ask to sit next to the yucky, local girls on the other side of the table. Will excused himself, and decided to go over to the booth where His Royal Highness was talking with his friends – no doubt bragging about "how far he got" with Penny. Will thought that it would be best if he sat in the booth directly behind Henry, so he could listen in, discreetly. Just as he sat down, he heard His Majesty Prince Henry Mills saying, ". . . and then we walked at the shoreline, holding hands!"
Holding hands . . . ? Thought Will. That Fairy Tale boy held hands with Penny?! Will couldn't believe it! Penny had only just MET Henry Mills a few hours ago . . . !
"Never mind that!" said one of the other boys. "Get to the GOOD STUFF!"
Will clenched his teeth and fists. Henry Mills was bigger than he was. But so was The Ruler's son, Quano, who had tried to bully Will a few years back. And while Quano was a pretty tough customer, Will doubted very much that Henry had ever been in a real fight; especially given the sissy way these Fairy Tale boys seemed to act. Will tensed, getting ready to teach "Prince" Henry a lesson about treating a girl – especially his sister – right.
"Well," said Henry as the other two boys leaned in closer. "When we first saw each other, it was like we were the only two people in the room; in the entire world, for that matter!"
"Go on, dude!" said one of the boys.
"Keep your heart in your chest, Nicholas!" said Henry. "I'm getting there . . . .
"Now, where was I . . . ?" said Henry pretending to ponder the question. "Oh, yeah, now I remember. Our eyes met, and we both smiled. You know, the first time that we hugged each other, I could actually hear her heartbeat as well as my own synchronizing! And her beautiful, hazel eyes . . . . Guys, I could just look into them forever!"
"OH, MAN!" Will heard the boy that "His Worshipfulness" had just called Nicholas, saying, "Not just TRUE LOVE, but TRUE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! That's gotta be a grand-slam home run with bases loaded at the bottom of the ninth!"
"Uh, Nicholas," said the other boy. "Remember, I came here after the curse was cast with the other Lost Boys and I'm still trying to catch up. I'm not all that familiar with basketball, so could you use a sports metaphor that I can understand?"
"First of all, Bartholomew," said Nicholas. "That was a baseball metaphor, not basketball. OUR baseball metaphor, that is. The natives here have their own baseball metaphor, of course. But trust me; you REALLY do not want to know how they use it." Nicholas shook his head. "No romance, man. No romance at all . . . .
"But let me see . . . . OK, Bartholomew. Henry just broke seven lances tilting against the King's Favorite Champion!"
Bartholomew looked at Henry with respect far beyond what mere royalty commanded all by itself, and said, "Whoa, Dude! YOU DA MAN!"
Nicholas glanced over at the girls' booth, and said, "It looks like Penny is getting along with my sister and Grace. And her older sister is also very pretty! I wonder if she's available for courting?"
"Actually," said Henry, "I think that she may be spoken for. Penny told me that her older sister, Judy, is probably going to get married to their pilot, Major Don West.
"But, I am thinking that maybe Penny can put in a good word for you and Bartholomew to Grace and Ava. Guys, I'll bet that we will be going to the dance at school next week as a triple-date!"
"Speaking of the dance, Henry," said Bartholomew. "Is that where and when you are planning to ask her for her Hand in Marriage. . . ?"
"Guys, this is the REAL THING!" said Henry smiling from ear-to-ear. "I'll probably propose to Penny even before the week is out!
"Now, it's going to be a very LONG engagement – I'm just fourteen, you know, and Penny is still thirteen. But ten years from now, you guys are invited to a Royal Wedding . . . ."
"Which one of us gets to be Best Man?" said Nicholas and Bartholomew simultaneously.
"Both of you!" said Henry. "I mean, guys, I have got two moms, you know. So, why can't I have two Best Men . . . ?"
Will Robinson was about to go thermonuclear when he heard that! He had heard that when it came to romance, people from Fairy Tale Realms moved pretty fast; especially the Royals. And His Royal Worshipful Highness Prince Henry the First of Storybrooke has his sights on Penny, as if he was even GOOD ENOUGH for her!
No. Penny would NOT be eloping with some "Prince" from a backward world like the Enchanted Forest - or even this world, for that matter; not if William Edward Robinson had anything to say about it.
Well . . . , just wait until mom and dad hear what he had to tell them . . . .
As luck would have it, the Town Hall meeting must have ended, because a lot of people, including Will's mom and dad and Major West and Dr. Smith came in with Henry's mom and other leading citizens of Storybrooke.
Emma Swan, addressing the entire diner, said, "Hey, listen up, everybody. Our new arrivals have yet to eat anything, and so have we. We are still working out a few details leftover from our meeting, and we would appreciate it if everyone here who is done eating could give us some space so we can finish taking care of business!"
Both Nicholas and Bartholomew said goodbye to Henry, wishing him the best. And over at the girls table, Ava and Grace were getting ready to leave, themselves. But, being girls, it took them longer to say goodbye to Penny and Judy.
When the center of the diner was clear, Regina waived her hand, and in a swirl of blue smoke, all the tables came together as a table large enough to handle the party that had just arrived.
An older, gray-haired woman behind the counter said, "I hope that you are planning to put my tables back to the way they were before you leave, Madame Mayor."
"Don't worry, Mrs. Lucas," said Regina. "I'll even use magic to clean up after we are finished. But I warn you, we are all very hungry!"
The woman then began to call for someone named Ruby to get ready to take orders. But the girl that Will took to be Ruby, an attractive girl about Judy's age with black hair streaked with red, was conversing with Major West. Again, the older woman called to get Ruby's attention, but the girl ignored her as she asked Don what it was like to travel in space. Then Will saw the two, younger Storybrooke girls leave and then Henry went over to where Penny was as Judy strode over to Don with pure determination mixed with unabashed jealousy.
When Judy got to where Don was talking with Ruby, Judy said, "Excuse me, but don't you have some tables to wait on?"
Again, the older woman behind the counter said, "Ruby, get a move on!"
Ruby turned to her, and said, "In a minute, grandma!"
"Now, Ruby!"
Judy said, "Better listen to your grandma, girl. She sounds mad."
"She always sounds mad," said Ruby, rolling her eyes.
"Listen," said Don. "I don't want to keep you from your work, Ruby. Maybe I can tell you about what it's like to travel in space, later."
Judy then moved to Don's side, and put her arm around him. "Much, much, later. I'll be there, too. And do bring your boyfriend. I'm sure he'd like to hear all about it, too."
"Oh, I don't exactly have a boyfriend, now," said Ruby in a slightly subdued tone, but then quickly added, "And I'm not trying to move in on yours, if that's what you are thinking."
"That's good," said Judy dryly, suddenly glad that she listened to the music on Ava's iPod device before they left. "Because, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream!"
"Ooooh," said Ruby with mock fear. "Well then, I'd better be careful." Ruby started to walk away, then turned and added, "But if you're going to quote "Blank Space," then I'll just have to quote "Single Ladies:" "If he liked it, then he would have put a ring on it!" Then Ruby turned to go wait on the table with the Robinsons and the Mayor's party.
As the diners sat at the table, Don held the chair for Judy, who did not even look at him as she sat down. In marked contrast, Henry held a chair for Penny, who smiled as she sat down in the place next to her older sister. Will immediately tried to take the seat next to penny that Henry no doubt wanted for himself, but a look from his father made Will stop. So he took a seat on the opposite side of the table – the better to keep a watchful eye on His Royal Omnipotent Majesty, Prince Henry.
As the diners looked over the menu, Don tried to make conversation with Judy, who was still (over) acting at being miffed at Don's conversation with Ruby.
"Hey, look, Judy," said Don. "They've got actual hamburgers and French Fries on the menu! Let's have that! I haven't had a 'burger and fries since I was Will's age!"
"Sound's fine," said Judy dryly.
"Oh, c'mon, Judy," said Don. "All Ruby wanted to know was what it is like to fly in space. She said that she never met an astronaut, before."
"That's not surprising," quipped Will. "This world probably does not have too many astronauts to meet."
"William," said Professor Robinson.
Will said, "Sorry, Sir," and closed his mouth, but never took his eyes off of Penny and Henry.
"A hamburger is fine," said Judy neutrally as Ruby began to take everyone's order.
As they waited for their food, the Robinsons told the Storybrookers about their adventures in space, though Henry and Penny seemed to be off in their own world making small talk. When the food did arrive, the Robinsons were taken aback at the large portions being set before them. Hamburgers piled high with actual lettuce, juicy, red tomatoes, and thickly (to them) sliced onions. There was even a whole, half of a kosher pickle on their plates for garnish!
"Wow," said Don. "The last burger I had when I was twelve was a third the size of this one!"
"They are quite big," said Maureen with some trepidation. "Oh, I don't think I can finish a meal this big!" The feast that Cora had set for them in Wonderland was one thing. All the dishes were on the table, and each diner could take as much as they wanted, so there would be little waste. But if this is what Storybrookers called a single serving . . . .
The Robinsons and Major West paused as they took in the amount of food on their plates. Dr. Smith, of course, was almost halfway done with his sandwich. "Excellent hamburger!" said Dr. Smith barely after he swallowed his current mouthful. "My sincerest compliments to the chef!"
"Problem, Professor Robinson?" said Regina, who noticed her guests' apparent unease.
"No," said John, still marveling at the amount of food set before him and his family. "Apparently, no problem at all!"
Will said, "I . . . I guess this would account for this world's lack of space technology. With its small population and ability to produce so much food – real food – and all . . . ." Will took a bit of what was only the fourth hamburger that he had ever eaten in his entire life, and smiled broadly (though he kept one watchful eye on His Royal Majesty.)
Don nodded. "They have no need to look for farming and living space, elsewhere."
"Your world – this world - is truly blessed, Mayor Mills," said Maureen with near reverence.
"Oh, please, call me Regina. After all, you will be staying here as residents.
"Well, Regina," said John. "We do thank you for your hospitality. It's just that we don't want what we are unable to eat to go to waste."
"We can always have Smith finish what we can't," said Don with a grin. A grin that got even bigger when he saw that Judy was smiling, too, in spite of herself.
"Spare me your poisonous barbs, Major!" said Smith, somewhat muffled as he stuffed what remained of his sandwich into his mouth. "However, as it is, after all, a sin to waste good food; should any of you actually need assistance with finishing what was placed before you . . . ."
This brought a laugh to everyone at the table – even Dr. Smith. Everyone, that is, except Will, Henry and Penny. In the case of the former, he was still keeping his eyes on the Fairy Tale boy sitting a bit too close to his sister, while the latter two were oblivious to all else around them.
By the time dinner was actually over, it was almost nine o'clock. Though the Robinsons made a good effort at finishing their meals, but just couldn't eat so much food in one sitting. But Granny Lucas was able to assuage their feelings of guilt at not being able to finish their meals by providing them all with Styrofoam "doggie bags."
"Don't worry, Professor Robinson," said Granny Lucas. "You'll be staying at my Bed and Breakfast Inn for the next couple of days until we can find more permanent housing, and there are small refrigerators and microwave ovens in the rooms. And the next time you come in, I'll be sure to serve you and your family smaller portions."
"That will not be necessary, my good lady," said Dr. Smith, removing his napkin from his lap as he delicately wiped his mouth. "I, for one, shall have no problem with enjoying the generous, delectable portions that your establishment regularly serves."
"So I see," said Granny dryly as she removed Dr. Smith's spotless plate.
That made Will smile. Same old Dr. Smith. But the sight of His Royal Grand Worshipfulness escorting Penny over to a private table to share a chocolate milkshake (with two straws, like some scene from an old high-school movie,) never taking their eyes off of each other, made Will groan.
As the night went on, the adults were talking amongst themselves, though Don and Judy moved to a booth at the end of the diner, away from the main group. And even though they were keeping their voices down, it was obvious to Will that they were discussing something serious.
But Will Robinson could not worry about his older sister and Major West. It was Penny who was in danger from Prince Henry. But for now, there was nothing that he could do about it. He would not interrupt his parents as they spoke with Mayor Mills, Emma Swan, and the other leading citizens of Storybrooke – that would be impolite. But Will would do whatever was necessary if it looked like His High Majesty Prince Henry was about to propose to his sister after knowing her for less than a day, and he never took his eyes off the trickster from a backward world who thought that he was good enough for Penny . . . .
But, as it turned out, Will did not have to keep his vigil up for long. A few minutes later, his father said, "We're going to Granny's Bed and Breakfast now, son. I don't know about you, but I am looking forward to my first night in a real bed in more than three years!
"Now, why don't you go over to Penny, and let her know that it is time to go. She can see Henry again, tomorrow."
"With pleasure, dad!" said Will as he went over to the table where his sister was sitting with His Sublime Majesty. The two teens were still sipping their chocolate milkshake through two straws, lost in each other's eyes. Will rolled his eyes, and said, "Penny, we're all going to the Bed and Breakfast for the night, now. So, say goodnight to Henry, and let's get going."
But Penny was oblivious to her younger brother as she smiled at Henry and he smiled back as though they were the only two people in Granny's Diner, if not all of Storybrooke, if not the entire multiverse.
Again, Will tried to get Penny's attention, this time by rapping his knuckles on the table three times and calling her name. Will repeated this action, frowning as his sister's attention was still focused on her Fairy Tale Prince. What's more, to add insult to injury, all of the Storybrookers seemed to be snickering at his predicament.
Then Will tried again, this time a little louder.
Nok, nok, nok, "Penny?"
Nok, nok, nok, "Penny?"
Nok, nok, nok, "Penny . . . ?"
Again, his sister ignored him. But the Storybrookers were now unabashedly laughing at him. Indignantly, Will said, "Alright, everyone, what's so funny?"
"N-nothing, Will," said Henry's Grandmother, Mary Margaret Blanchard, barely able to keep from giggling. "It's nothing, really. R-right, David?" Henry's Grandfather David said nothing, but nodded rapidly in agreement, suppressing a snicker.
Will shook his head, and tried again, even louder.
NOK, NOK, NOK, "PENNY?"
Then David said, "Hey, Snow; BAZINGA!" At that, every Storybrooker in the diner completely lost it, breaking into hearty, uncontrollable laughter at Will Robinson's expense.
Maureen whispered to John, "Why do you suppose they are laughing at Will?"
"I don't know, dear," said John shaking his head. "Must be a Fairy-Tale thing . . . ."
After leaving the diner, Regina, Emma, David and Mary-Margaret and Henry helped the Robinsons, Major West and Dr. Smith bring some things they would need from their spaceship, and get settled in at Granny's Bed and Breakfast, where they would be staying for a few days until better accommodations for them could be found. John and Maureen smiled when the saw their room and the King Size mattress that they had all to themselves. Judy and Penny had another room, and Don, Will and Dr. Smith would share a third.
Finally, the Storybrookers left, though not before Will saw His Supreme Majesty actually kissing his sister goodnight – no doubt when he thought that nobody was looking – before he left with his "moms," (who seemed to be having an argument over who got to take Henry home for the night.)
That made Will, (who was still fuming from being the object of some mysterious, local joke,) about ready to go Super Nova! Prince Henry had actually kissed Penny! And not just a quick, friendly peck on the cheek, either – that Fairy Tale boy actually gave Penny a hug as he kissed her for over three seconds! To make things worse, Penny actually hugged him back as she stood on one leg while they kissed, like some characters from an old movie!
Now Will absolutely had to tell his parents what he saw. But before he could say anything, his father ordered him up to bed. And since he called him "William," Will knew that it was useless to argue.
Will did not bring a lot of his stuff over from the Jupiter 2 to Granny's Bed and Breakfast with him. Since they would probably be moving into a house or apartment in a few days, Will did not want to take too much with him, only to have to move it yet again. So it did not take him long to get settled-in.
On the plus side, the beds in the room that Will shared with Don and Dr. Smith looked extremely comfortable, and were about three times the size of the berths aboard the Jupiter 2. Though Don had yet to turn in for the night, Dr. Smith had already fallen asleep in his bed a few minutes after coming into the room. Typical Dr. Smith, thought Will with a roll of his eyes and a smile.
Will checked his wristwatch – which he had adjusted to Storybrooke time - and saw that it was almost eleven o'clock at night; way past his bedtime! He then changed into his pajamas, and went over to the bed, stopping before he got under the covers. As comfortable as the bed looked, Will knew that he would probably not be getting too much sleep, not with Mr. Fairy Tale Prince out there on the prowl for Penny.
It was then and there that Will Robinson decided that he had to tell his mom and dad what he had just seen, as well as what he overheard at Granny's Diner earlier between Henry and his friends. He was pretty sure that they were still awake, since Don had not come to bed, yet, and must be talking with dad and mom about something.
Will slipped out of bed, and tiptoed to the door to the hallway so as not to (as if,) wake up Dr. Smith, and slipped into the hallway, relieved to see that the light was still on in his parents' room. It quickly became obvious that his parents were not speaking with Don, who was with Judy at the other end of the hallway. Though they seemed to be speaking in hushed tones, Will could tell that they were arguing about something or another. But whatever it was, Will could not worry about it, for now. Will knocked on the door to his parents' room, relieved to see that they were still awake, but had already changed to their bedclothes.
"Oh, Will," said his mother. "Are you alright? It's way past your bedtime!"
"Mom, dad, there is something that I need to tell you, and it's very important!"
"Alright, son," said his father. "What's on your mind?"
Will then told his parents about what he overheard between Henry Mills and the other Storybrooke boys, and how he saw Penny and Henry kissing each other goodnight.
When he was finished, his parents admonished him for eavesdropping and snooping. But Will insisted that his parents should be concerned. "I just don't trust "Prince" Henry with Penny, dad," insisted Will. "I mean, they had only just met a few hours ago, and they kissed each other! Disgusting!"
"Well, son," said John. "That's what teenagers do, sometimes, when they discover that they like each other. Trust me, you'll understand, yourself, in a couple more years . . . ."
"I'm sure that it was just an innocent little peck on the cheek, Will," said Maureen.
"Innocent little peck on the cheek?" said Will incredulously. "That stupid Fairy Tale boy was all over Penny like those spores were on Col. Hapgood's ship!"
"WILLIAM!" gasped Maureen. "I know that your father and I have raised you better than that!"
Will hung his head in shame, and said, "Alright. I'm sorry that I called Henry "stupid," mom."
"That would have been bad enough, son," said John. "But that's not the reason why your mother and I are upset."
"I – I don't understand, sir."
Maureen said softly, "William, you referred to Henry as a "stupid Fairy Tale boy." That makes all the difference.
John added, "We didn't raise you to be a bigot, son. I'm just thankful that none of the Storybrookers heard you. A child's prejudice reflects on their parents."
"How would you feel," said Maureen, "if Henry called you a "dumb, Science Fiction boy?"
"I . . . I guess I wouldn't like it, mom. But Henry Mills isn't good enough for Penny, and it has nothing to do with him being from a different genre!"
"Oh, Will," said Maureen. "Why don't you like Henry Mills? He seems like a very mature, well behaved young man."
"Because . . . because he wants to marry Penny, and he isn't good enough for her!"
Professor Robinson chuckled and smiled. "Well, then, it looks like we have both of our girls taken care of, Maureen! Now we have to concentrate on our son!"
"I'm not interested in girls and mushy stuff!"
"Well, not yet, maybe," allowed John. "But you will be; probably sooner than you think. And I'll just bet that there are a lot of cute girls your age at Storybrooke Junior High that would be very happy to meet someone who has actually been to other planets!"
"But Henry Mills just met Penny, dad!" said Will. "And he's already bragging to his friends that he is going to marry her! And all of this after a walk on the beach!"
"Will, the beaches are safe here," said Maureen. "In fact, I was thinking of asking your father if he would like to get up early to take me for a barefoot walk on the beach, ourselves."
"Why, Mrs. Robinson," said John. "It's a date! How about at sunrise! That should be spectacular!"
Will just groaned. After saying goodnight to his parents, he went back to his room. Dr. Smith was fast asleep, and Don was just getting into bed when Will came in.
"Everything alright, Will?" said Don.
"Not really," said Will.
Don nodded. "Yeah, Will. I feel the same way."
"Did you and Judy have an argument?" said Will.
Don sighed and nodded. "Judy thought that I was flirting with Ruby the waitress. And I can't convince her that I wasn't. Can you keep a secret, for now, Will?" The boy nodded, and Don continued. "I – I love your sister, Will. And I want to ask her to marry me."
"That's great, Don!" said Will sincerely. "It'll be swell to have you as my brother-in-law! You'll make a better one than His Extreme Majesty, Prince Henry Mills!"
"Yeah, Will, I saw the way you were acting around Penny and Henry. For what it's worth, Henry Mills seems like a good kid."
"Good kids" don't kiss girls a few hours after they just met them!"
Don smiled. "Oh, I think I see what's going on here . . . ."
"No, Don, it isn't what you think! I'm not prejudice against Henry because he is a Fairy Tale!"
"Will . . . ."
"I have nothing against Henry because of his genre! I just don't like him because he isn't good enough for Penny!"
"Will, that's not what I meant. What I mean is that you are just being a good, if somewhat overprotective little brother who is concerned about his sister. I know that it has nothing to do with Henry being from another genre."
Will nodded. "Don, if Penny was going out with someone like Mark McCain, or Wally Cleaver, or even Greg Brady; THAT would be one thing. They're not Science Fiction. But those guys know that it isn't right to kiss another guy's sister a few hours after you first met her! I mean, Don, that's third base!
"Don, if you don't mind me asking you something personal, how long did you know Judy before you first kissed her?"
Don thought for a moment, and then said, "Will, that was different. I mean, your father is the commander of our mission, and Judy is his daughter. Also, I am a bit older than she is. When you add in the fact that neither of us really had any "competition," as it were; I guess that we wanted to take things slowly and cautiously, just to be sure of our feelings for one another."
"That makes a lot of sense, Don. But it still doesn't answer my question."
"Well, I guess you could say that we knew each other for several years before we had our first, romantic kiss.
"But, Will, Penny and Henry Mills seem to have achieved an instant attraction to each other. I mean, did you see the way that Penny's eyes lit up when she and Henry first met? Oh, man, that was something!" Don shook his head in wonder. "I just wish that your sister and I had something like that, ourselves, Will. Maybe then she wouldn't get so bent out-of-shape when she saw me talking to another girl . . . ."
"I guess . . . ," said Will doubtfully.
Don yawned, and said, "Look, Will. I'm really tired, and I can't even remember the last time that I got to sleep in a bed designed to be comfortable instead of lightweight. Let's get some sleep. Hopefully, things will be better for both of us in the morning. Goodnight, Will." And without another word, Major Don West's head hit the pillow, and he was sleeping as hard as Dr. Smith ever did.
But Will still did not like His Royal Highness, Prince Henry Mills the First of Storybrooke, and vowed to keep a very watchful eye on him whenever he was around Penny, which Will had a feeling was going to be quite often.
Will climbed into the bed, which he had to admit was very, very comfortable, realizing that he was more tired than he thought, and fell asleep seconds later in spite of himself.
The next morning, Mr. Gold and his wife, Belle, were getting ready to open their shop. Though Mr. Gold was in very good spirits, Belle was a bit unhappy with her husband at the moment.
"C'mon, Belle!" said Mr. Gold. "It's funny and it'll cheer you up!"
Belle shook her head. "I really do not want to hear your joke, Rumple. Those kinds of jokes are always offensive."
"Oh, go on, Belle," said Mr. Gold smiling. "It's not an offensive joke, by any means. It's very, very clever and very, very funny. I know that you'll like it if you just give it a chance."
Belle set down her book, and shook her head. "I don't know, Rumple. I really don't like or even approve of genre-humor . . . ."
"I promise you that this joke isn't offensive in any way, shape, or form; just clever. It's a clean joke, but a very funny one. It's one of my favorites, and it came to mind right after our newcomers arrived last night. I really do think that Professor Robinson and the Missus will like it. But I want your opinion first, to see if you think that it 'goes over the line,' as it were."
Belle rolled her eyes, sighed, and said in a deliberately neutral voice, "Alright, Rumple. Let me hear it . . . ."
"Right!" said Mr. Gold clapping his hands once and rubbing them together. "Well, then: A Fairy Tale and a Science Fiction go into a bar owned by a Western. The barkeep says -" Mr. Gold put on an exaggerated Western accent that made Belle shake her head and sigh again, and went on, "Howdy, Strangers! What kin I gits y'all t'day?" And then, the Science Fiction says –"
Mr. Gold stopped when the sound of a tinkling bell from the doorway let Mr. Gold know that he had a customer. Both he and Belle turned and saw a smiling Dr. Zachery Smith coming over to the counter. "Good morning, my dear lady and my good man. I trust that you are open for business at this time?"
Mr. Gold turned to Belle, and said, "Well, actually, he says; "What do you recommend?" But I'll tell you the rest, later. I absolutely guarantee that you will like it." He then turned to Dr. Smith, and continued, "Yes, we are open. And how may I help you?"
"Yes, well," said Dr. Smith. "As it seems that we shall be remaining in your charming, little village for the foreseeable future, I find myself in the need of some, shall we say, "walking-around-money," until such time as I receive my first remuneration from my new position at Storybrooke General Hospital."
"I . . . see," said Mr. Gold. He then turned to Belle, and said, "Belle, I find that I suddenly have a craving for one of Granny's large coffees. Would you be so kind as to bring me one?"
Belle knew that Rumple just wanted her out of the shop while he did business with the newcomer, and was about to protest. But instead, she said, "Alright. I'll go and get you one." Then she leaned in closer and said sotto voce, "But please don't try to be, ah, "funny," while I am out. I don't want you to embarrass yourself, much less all of Storybrooke, while I am gone."
"Oh, you don't have to worry about me, Belle. I'll be strictly business with the good doctor, here." Then Belle nodded, and went over to Granny's Diner. When she left, Mr. Gold continued, "Why, Dr. Zachery Smith. I've been expecting you."
"Y-you have?" said Dr. Smith.
"Oh, aye," said Mr. Gold. "I've already figured that you will need some money to establish yourself until you start drawing a paycheck. And to do that, you will undoubtedly attempt to pawn something or another of value that you have acquired during your travels. And, as I am the only Pawnbroker in town, you pretty much have no other alternatives . . . .
"Now, how may I help you, Dr. Smith?"
"Yes, well . . . ." said Dr. Smith. "It just so happens that I might have brought along an item or two to show you to see if we could do business, Mr. Gold."
"Well, as everyone her in Storybrooke knows, I am always open to making a deal. Now, let's see what you have to offer, then . . . ."
Dr. Smith smiled, reached into his pocket, and withdrew a small gray rock, setting it gently on the counter.
Mr. Gold raised his eyebrow. "It's, ah, a rock, Dr. Smith."
"Not just any old rock, my good man," said Dr. Smith with a touch of annoyance. "I'll have you to know that this rock comes from The Moon."
"Oh, The Moon, is it?" said Mr. Gold raising an eyebrow. "I take it that you mean the Moon from your universe?"
"Of course, my good man," said Dr. Smith. "However, how different could our Moons really be? Other than the fact that the Moon in my universe has a population of several thousand working there and your own Moon is, shall we generously say, yet to be developed to its full potential?"
"That still doesn't explain why I should be showing the slightest bit of interest in your Moon rock."
"Why, I believe that that should be most obvious, my good man! I have done some discreet research in the matter, and I am given to understand that no one has been to your, or rather, to this world's Moon, for about 40 years; making Lunar rocks here something of a rare commodity that should fetch you a princely sum."
"Oh, that it would, Dr. Smith. That it would. If I were able to legitimately sell it, that is . . . ."
"I'm afraid that I don't take your meaning."
"Dr. Smith, there is still the slight matter of explaining to the authorities how I came to be in possession of your Moon rock. As you have surmised, Moon rocks are very rare in this world. So rare, in fact that as a result, private ownership of such an item is illegal, even if I were able to establish the provenance of your Moon rock. It really is your rock, I presume?"
"Well, actually, I . . . borrowed it – temporarily, of course - from William's collection. He got it when he was there for a field trip with his 5th Grade class. However, if a deal could be reached between us, I am certain that I could persuade the lad to part with this little trinket without much fuss."
Mr. Gold shook his head in mock disapproval as he made "tisk, tisk, tisk," sounds. "Stealing from a child. Of course, I would expect no less from the infamous Dr. Zachery Smith. Or, should I say, "Aeolis Fourteen Umbra; would-be saboteur of the Jupiter 2 . . . ."
"What?" Dr. Smith's expression sharpened. "W-what did you just call me? And how do you know that I . . . who told you that malicious piece of slander?"
Mr. Gold reached under the counter and brought up a flat container about the size of a small book and handed it to Dr. Smith, who took it, examined it front and back, then opened it to reveal the set of small silvery disks within. Smith closed the container and read the writing on the front aloud with a voice in near-panic. "Lost in Space, The Complete First Season." What is the meaning of this?!"
"It means that I know something that you shipmates don't know," said Mr. Gold. "You know, I have distinct memories of watching this on the telly when I was a wee lad. Of course, I never actually did, having grown up in the Enchanted Forest. But those are some of the memories implanted into my mind by the Dark Curse cast by our good mayor Regina Mills, also known as the Evil Queen, that brought us all here to this world.
"You know, I really liked the episode that showed the scene when the Jupiter 2 crash landing on the first planet you visited - an amazing piece of special effects work for the time. All models – no CGI.
"But regardless, I think that Professor Robinson and especially Major West would be most interested in the very first episode of your story showing how you actually came to be aboard the Jupiter 2 . . . ." It was hard, but Mr. Gold kept his poker-face in spite of himself, though the look of pure terror on Dr. Zachery Smith's face was so precious that it was making it very difficult.
"How . . . ? What is this . . . this thing?"
"This 'thing' is called a DVD. And it is a very interesting one. You will note, for example, the autograph on the cover? Marta Kirsten was the actress from this world who portrayed your Judy in the television series.
"Now, the actor who portrayed you - Johnathan Harris, was his name - there is an interesting story behind him. Did you know that the title of "Special Guest Star" was actually created especially for him?"
"Spare me your lecture on television trivia," said Dr. Smith, barely able to contain his desperation. "W-what do you want?"
"Ah!" said Mr. Gold. "Now we may actually get down to business."
"I repeat, what do you want?"
"Why, I want a way out of this town," said Mr. Gold evenly. "I was working on a way of my own, just before you arrived. But I think that now the Jupiter 2 and, more to the point, the magic bean aboard her, will suit my needs even better . . . ."