There was no such thing as perfection in the world.
They could imitate you but they could never replicate you, she thought, tilting her head up at the sky as she grunted. Arachne had been the queen of loneliness, sitting on a throne that represented both purity and sin in the same package. Although it had an uncanny resemblance to Celestine, a character from distant times, a few from her mansion knew that Arachne would rather dwell on the ghosts from legends than to move forward to make new ones. It was an awful habit, but she was too busy lingering on the "what if"s to notice her descent.
She continued to scroll through her instagram, finding little to no pleasure in watching her numbers rise above the others on her feed. Plastered with filters and hashtags, her selfie on her toilet gained followers much faster than any outdoorsy photo could ever manage. It wasn't her fault that the light from the window and the reflective white walls gave her face a natural shine, or the perfect angle she achieved that both hid the ceramic and her half smeared lipstick on the left side of her lip. Yet all of this combined never caught the attention of the famed instagramer Excalibur, her idol. Her desires.
He was beautiful in all of the pictures he'd posted, effortlessly gaining thousands and thousands of fans a day and always responding to each of the comments he received—which was close to none considering his eccentric personality. Still, Arachne's thirst was too much to contain and she found herself typing yet another comment about Excalibur's glorious pecs and shimmering abs while ignoring his teeny, pointed nipples.
A primal growl from her bowels caused her fingers to pause for a split second, but she pushed on, gritting her teeth through the pressure and willing her fingers to keep moving. The bathroom fan distracted her abdominal pain well enough as she squeezed her eyes shut, finishing her final words blind before hitting the enter key on her touch screen. It was in that moment that a log dropped into the depths beneath her and the cold splash hit her folds. She jumped, twisting her face in disgust as she shook her bottom to relieve herself of some of the droplets.
It was almost as horrible as how Excalibur never gave her a follow back or commented on her own photos. A like was all it would have taken! Wasn't she a rising star like he? What good were all her followers if they could not capture the attention of her most loved one. It was complete shit. They were all like the shit that fell beneath her cavern and the smear left on the white surface.
All of the thousands of likes and comments, and yet none of them truly meant anything unless it came from Excalibur.
He was like a plague in her kingdom and a menace running rampant in her catacombs. Arachne would have even described him as the poop clogged in the plumbing downstairs, left from when Shaula had visited her last. But she still loved him, kept him in her heart as she would with a terminated youtube account that she was still subscribed to. At least he still commented back within the hour of her posting. At least she could still talk to him that way.
She unlocked her iphone while she clutched her stomach, glancing at the wifi's icon in the top left corner and waiting for the connection to be established. Maybe he's already responded, she wished silently. Excalibur was as unpredictable as her farting spells, so perhaps she struck gold by commenting five seconds after he posted his shirtless selfie.
A few quick taps later, and she was back on his profile, caressing the thumbnail quickly before opening the comments. Her heart fluttered as she found that there were four comments beneath his photo, one belonging to her and the other three belonging to her one and only. However, what she read next made her bowels twist more than diarrhea.