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Suoh's Revenge, Part 1

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The small pub was tucked away in a less populated area, crammed between a ramen shop and a small drugstore, away from the popular nightclubs and shopping areas in Shibuya. Those who ventured down the narrow alley way usually didn't notice the plain door with the small sign above it that read "Hoshō". A well-worn piece of cardboard was taped to the door on which someone had handwritten: Open 10:00 pm until ? ? Closed on Tuesdays.

The inside of the place was very confined. Sitting on one of the eight stools at the bar, the customers could actually lean their backs against the opposite wall if they so desired. The small size of the place was emphasized even more by the unusually large men who were occupying the seats. Occasionally, a curious tourist would open the door and peek in, only to be greeted by hostile stares from the men sitting inside the narrow pub. The tourist would usually shut the door quickly.

It was just around midnight when Suoh and Yamato came in. Suoh ordered a pitcher of beer as Yamato looked around. There were three others sitting at the end of the bar. Three very tall and muscular men.

"I can't believe it... all the men in here are my type!" Yamato said, amazed.

Suoh looked at him puzzled. "What do you mean? Oh...!" He began chuckling, "I forgot about that! You like big guys. I should've thought of that before I brought you here. This is where the bouncers from the nightclubs come to hang out after work."

Yamato gazed at the other three men who were chatting amongst themselves. He sighed dreamily, "Thank you...!"

Suoh shook his head and grinned. "Forget it. They're all straight."

Yamato raised his eyebrows. "How do you know?"

The bartender placed a pitcher and two mugs in front of them. Suoh picked up the pitcher and began pouring beer into one of the mugs. "I suppose I don't," he said sighing heavily. "I guess I really don't know anything about anybody." Suoh pushed the filled mug over to Yamato and then poured his own.

Yamato regarded Suoh thoughtfully. "I know this is none of my business, but is everything all right between you and Kirishima?"

Suoh took a drink. "Yeah, why do you ask?"

"I noticed earlier you two seemed to be upset with each other. You guys always got along really well with each other before..." Yamato shifted awkwardly in his seat, "You know that incident that happened between you two recently, right? Something like that can seriously change things between people."

"It's just me that has a problem with it, not Kirishima. He doesn't remember anything so it's not affecting him."

"Are you sure about that? Something seems off about him lately."

Suoh stared into his glass. "I'm sure. I'm the one having a hard time dealing with it. He must see it as a weakness in me. Maybe that's why he's refusing to talk to me about..."

Suoh suddenly looked up at Yamato with wide eyes. "You're right! Something IS off about him lately!" Suoh took another drink and then slammed his glass down. "That's it! That's why he's been doing all those crazy things to me! He's trying to push me away to avoid talking about what happened during that trade deal in South America!"

"Huh? What do you mean? What's Kirishima doing to you?"

"He keeps harassing me about..." Suoh lowered his voice, "that thing that happened."

"How is he harassing you?"

Suoh blushed. "Well... he's been doing things with uh... office supplies..."

Yamato shook his head, confused. "What do you mean?"

"The pens and the pencils... and stuff like that! Oh, and the stapler too. That was the worst!"

"You aren't making any sense."

Suoh nervously took a deep breath. "Okay, it's like this... in the office the other day he had a banana on his desk and when I came in, he picked it up and you know... kind of did the oral sex thing with it."

"I see..." Yamato nodded, "I'm going to guess he did the same thing with the pens and pencils as well. Uh... what did he do with the stapler?"

"You get the idea," Suoh growled.

"Actually, I don't. What he could possibly do with a stapler that would be any worse?"

"Just forget I mentioned the stapler," Suoh said irritably.

"I've successfully dealt with harassment before. I can help you but I'll need to know EVERYTHING he's doing."

Suoh leaned over and whispered to Yamato, "He was licking the top of it, and then he started going 'OH! OH! OH!' while rapidly ejecting staples out of it."

Yamato nearly spit out a mouthful of beer. "Kirishima did that?! OHH...!" Yamato burst out laughing. Suoh glared at him.

Yamato fought to contain his laughter as he wiped tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry. He's a cocky bastard, isn't he? You're in luck though. There's actually an easy solution to shut down his bad behavior."

"Oh, do enlighten me with your wisdom," Suoh retorted sarcastically.

"It's that crazy 'I can beat Suoh at anything' attitude of his. He's got you emotionally pinned down with this because even though none of it was your doing, he knows you feel guilty for what happened between you two."

"That much is true," Suoh agreed. He took a big gulp from his mug, tipping it all the way up to down it completely.

"So call his bluff," Yamato shrugged.

"Do what?!" Suoh looked at Yamato, shocked.

"Tell him you want to take him up on his invitation. Corner him and then tell him he's been secretly driving you mad and you can't hold back anymore. If he thinks you're serious, he'll back off fast enough."

"Heh, back off... he'd probably punch me in the face!" Suoh grinned before turning serious once again. "No, I can't do that. He'd think badly of me if I did something like that. He'd probably never speak to me again."

"Oh? So how is it that all of us could pin you down against your will and yet you totally forgave us for that? Why aren't you angry at Kirishima for what he did to you?"

"That's because none of you were in your right mind at the time. Everybody was shitfaced drunk!"

Yamato grinned. "That's right! So tell me Suoh... how good of an actor are you?"

Suoh frowned. "Eh?"

"You pretend to be extremely drunk and then you come onto him VERY aggressively. REALLY pin him down. Just when he's about to literally fear for his ass, you conveniently pass out. The next day, you don't remember a thing... just like what happened to him. He won't harass you again because he'll be afraid of provoking the dormant sex beast that lurks inside of you. Man... I should write this down! That would be a great plot for a porno..."

"I can't do that! It would be dishonest!"

"All right Suoh, here are your choices- one: do nothing and live with it. Maybe he'll get bored with messing with you and stop, but from my experience that never happens. Two: you go to Asami and inform him that his Chief Executive Assistant is creating a hostile workplace environment by sexually harassing you..."

"No way in hell am I going to do that!"

"Three: you follow this plan. Think of it this way... he's been stepping out of line by harassing you for his own amusement. You're just giving him a taste of his own medicine. If it really bothers you about being deceptive, then the next time you see him admit you remember something about it and apologize for your 'drunken' behavior. Either way, he'll stop harassing you. Trust me, it's practically foolproof!"

Suoh narrowed his eyes at Yamato. " 'It's practically foolproof'... those are known to be famous last words."

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Next: Suoh's Revenge, Part 2

Note: The name of the pub translated to English is "The Sentry"