Right... so I think that all of my characters have some level of major issues, but I think poor Ceci is the only one that is truly becoming somewhat self-destructive and spiraling from them. I don't know if this will get over dramatic or unrealistic. I'm just a girl that knows no struggle beyond losing the straw to my Starbucks tumbler (it was one of the nice stainless steel ones, too), so just indulge my attempts at fabricating this stuff through psychology classes and random websites :-P
So yeah, just a warning. Though there's nothing really graphic in this, there is some language that's worse than any of my other stuff so far...
The music was loud, deafeningly so. Cecily wasn't entirely sure if it was intended to provide a better atmosphere for dancing or to keep the patrons from thinking too much. Both options sounded fine to Cecily, regardless of which outcome was intended. Some nights, one just did not have the energy to contemplate all her bad life choices.
On the dance floor, there seemed to be some nigh-overheated body making motions to the music in every direction. Personally, Cecily was one for the underground clubs, the Corellian ones filled with people who could seriously dance. The odd and drunken gyrations present at this club offered none of the appeal nor rush of a room full of people who could dance anything from heated outer-rim ballroom to more common club dances until the sun came up.
Perhaps the greatest appeal of the more serious dance clubs was simply in the fact that the men the frequented those places could actually dance, rather than walk up behind a hot girl and start some sort of awkward, one-sided, dry humping.
I guess it doesn't bother everyone, Cecily mused, glancing over at Risha and the man behind her. Though I suppose that isn't so one-sided…
She leaned closer to Risha. "I'm going to get some fresh air." She tried to yell it loud enough, but the whoops of the patrons as the beat dropped drowned her voice out.
Risha looked up. "What?"
"Outside," She shouted, pointing to the door. Risha just mumbled something in acknowledgement and went back to paying attention to the man behind her.
Cecily elbowed her way through the sweaty bodies and made her way to the bar. The nearest bartender glided over to her. "Just water, please." The tall woman set a glass on the counter and pulled out a pitcher of ice water, pouring some in until the glass was full. Cecily picked up the glass and greedily gulped it down. She grimaced as she felt brain freeze set in.
Opening her eyes, she saw a man standing next to her. "Can I buy you a drink?" He was smiling at her, and he certainly looked like the kind of guy that Cecily could enjoy the night with.
For once, though, she wasn't in the mood. "I'm good for now. Thanks, though." She gave him a sweet smile, and her Corellian drawl just added some extra honey, but he got the message clear enough. He walked off. Funny how quickly a guy became uninterested once they discovered that some sort of sexual rendezvous was out of the picture.
Cecily looked at her cup, the wild purples and reds of the lights reflected in the clear glass. She absentmindedly wiped away the red lipstick mark and left a credit chip for the bartender.
The way to the door was more or less clear, and Cecily made it out quickly. She took in a deep breath as she felt the cool night air hit her flushed cheeks. She started walking away from the club. It wasn't even two blocks later that she heard someone running up behind her. A man, from the sound of the footfalls, and it wasn't Riggs, that much she could tell. She got herself ready to pull her blaster from its thigh holster under her skirt if need be.
"Cece, wait,"
She stopped, no less ready to use her weapon, though she did recognize the voice. She remembered it from a few weeks ago, last time she was on Coruscant. "What is it, Clint?"
Clint stepped in front of her. She was now positioned between him and a wall, though there was a good foot or so between both points. "I want to talk to you."
She sighed. "Talk, then." Was she annoyed? Of course. One night stands were supposed to only be one night, as the name details, and here this guy was, thinking he was somehow special. Though perhaps he was. Cecily had developed a special level of dislike for the man after she'd met his wife. She didn't have sex with married men. It wasn't her thing. She could ruin her own life if she liked. Hell, she would even objectify a man for a good time, but she would never willingly be a whorish homewrecker. That was what she had told his homely wife before recommending that she file for divorce, seeing as how Clint was clearly disloyal. The poor woman had moaned in despair that she would never be able to satisfy him because she'd never be a stunning blonde like Cecily. The smuggler had explained that as more of a reason to divorce the man, because everyone had someone that would think the world of them, and the woman should give herself the chance to find a better husband. Though Cecily had apologized profusely and made it clear that she had no idea, the woman had still spit at her in anger, calling her a miserable slag with an empty heart before she made her exit. Suffice it to say, the entire experience had not been a pleasant ordeal.
Clint raked his hand through his hair. "My—my wife left me. She filed for divorce."
"Good for her," Cecily began to resume walking, but the man grabbed her arm. She turned back to face him, and he stepped closer. Cecily tugged her arm out of his grasp. He was really close to her now, and the wall was maybe a couple inches behind her. She was acutely aware of these facts.
"Cece, this can be good. We can make the most of this…" Clint moved closer to her, his lips centimeters from her own. "What we have…" He started closing in. Cecily shoved him away. It took quite a bit of strength, considering she was much smaller than he was.
She couldn't help herself from laughing at him. It was cruel, sure, but she wanted to hurt him. He was a liar, and she'd be damned if she let him come out of this situation unscathed. "What we had?" Clint clinched his fists, but she continued. "What we had was sex. Once. It wasn't even that good."
"There was only ever you. I never cheated on my wife until you,"
"I doubt that, Clint. I really do," She spat. "You're a fucking liar. Take responsibility for your own actions, and stop trying to act like what we did was somehow more than it was." She slipped onto the other side of him, so her back was no longer toward the wall, but rather facing the direction away from the nightclub.
Corso had caught up to the pair now. He'd noticed that Clint had taken a special interest in Cecily when they were in the club. When Cecily left, Corso noticed that he had followed her out. After a quick deliberation, he decided to trail the guy, just to make sure his captain was safe. He'd seen how guys treated her sometimes, and it had become his unofficial mission to protect her. Though he'd never tell her that. Not yet, at least.
He was able to take in the next parts of the confrontation without being detected by Cecily.
Clint looked at Cecily contemptuously. She and Corso both could tell that he was close to the end of his temper. Though this put Corso on high alert, it seemed that she didn't care. She could handle herself, and her own temper had run out long ago. "How can you say that, Cece? The things we did…"
"…I've done with plenty of guys, and have done with others since. Not to mention the dozens of other guys in the future. Our night was just about as special and intimate as grooming a jawa," she shrugged, and Corso tried to not let the statement bother him. "Maybe less. I mean, it's not every day that you get to groom a jawa."
That had pushed Clint over the edge. She knew it in the gleam in his eye, but she wouldn't back down. "You're a slut, Cecily." His voice grew into a chilling shout, his face turning red with a pure anger that he was directing at her. Corso clinched his fists, about ready to bash the guy's face in, but he would hold back until Cecily lost control of the situation. "A fucking whore, and that's all you'll ever be! You're never going to find anyone who will treat you like anything else, because YOU'RE NOT FUCKING WORTH IT!"
She's worth it to me, Corso thought angrily.
Cecily narrowed her eyes. "I'd rather spend my life being a slut and a whore than an unfaithful, lying pig." Cecily felt a blow to her face as soon as she finished the last syllable. It had come out of nowhere and hit her hard. She stumbled back a step, regaining her balance quickly.
Corso saw red. He wasn't entirely sure what he did next, but he did know that he wanted to kill the bastard.
Cecily looked up. She was about to retaliate, but she saw that Clint was already laying on the ground. His nose looked broken and was gushing blood, and his left hand looked all kinds of messed up, though the latter was probably from an improper punching technique. Corso stood over him. She stepped closer to him. "Riggs?" It was all she could really say, and she wasn't entirely sure if it came out clearly. She didn't know if she'd been punched or slapped, but the right side of her face sure felt funny.
Corso turned his attention away from the man on the ground and looked at Cecily. His brow furrowed. "Captain. You're bleeding."
Her heart was pounding. She was sure that was completely a side effect of getting hit and had nothing to do with Corso's presence. She lifted her hand up to her right cheek, where the odd and slightly numb sensation was centralized. Her fingers grazed the cut and she almost winced. No. Definitely not numb. She looked at her fingers and saw the thin coat of blood covering the tips. "Oh." It was a stupid reply, but she felt weird and surreal, so it was the best she could do.
Clint tried to scramble off the ground, and Corso pulled a blaster on him. "You know, you shouldn't hit a lady."
Clint stuttered. "Yo—you don't underst—and tha—that slut isn't a lady." He was scared of Corso, but still was plenty furious with Cecily.
Cecily smirked, but the motion only agitated the tender flesh on her cheek, so she quickly dropped the expression. That's what I keep telling him, she thought with slight amusement.
Corso just scowled more at the man, further disgusted. He flicked a switch on his blaster, and the whine of it powering up for a shot rose above the sound of the bass from the surrounding nightclubs. Clint whimpered. "Maybe I should just put you down like a dog. I mean, you say she's not a lady because she makes her own choices and lives with them. I say you're not a man because a man wouldn't treat any woman like that."
Before Clint could engage in any sniveling that might extinguish what little dignity he had left, and before Corso could shoot him, Cecily stepped in. She whispered softly to Corso, and Corso only. "Riggs. Let him go. He's not worth it." She could see the hesitation in Corso's eyes. The fierce protectiveness he had battling with what little sense he had in that moment. "Please." That one word almost stopped him completely. He lowered the blaster slightly. "I want to go back to the ship." Corso closed his eyes, sighed deeply, and put the blaster away.
Corso looked at Cecily, and she could see the sweet and loving farm boy coming back. "Okay. Let's get you back to the ship, Ceci."
Cecily smiled. He was one of the only people she knew that called her Ceci, rather than Cece or Cecily. She liked it. Clint started crying in relief, but Cecily didn't pay much mind to him. She took the arm that Corso offered her and she let him escort her back to the ship. Neither paid any mind to the miserable life form they left behind.
Once back at the ship, Cecily sat on the bed in the med bay. She had grudgingly accepted Corso's help with her wound, and tried to sit still as he carefully wiped away the blood. He asked her what happened and she explained the situation.
Corso frowned slightly as he pulled out some chilled kolto. "You shouldn't be chasing after married men, Ceci."
Cecily glowered at him. She stood up, ready to leave. "Riggs, if you're going to judge me, I certainly don't need your help."
Corso sighed. "Just sit back down and let me finish what I was saying."
She sighed and did as he asked. "Sorry. Just feeling touchy."
"It's alright," He smiled at her. You can yell at me all you want, as long as you stay… he thought, looking into her eyes. Those eyes reminded him of the simple, sunny days on Ord Mantell when there wasn't a cloud in sight.
"I didn't know he was married. I wouldn't have done it if I knew…" She mumbled. He could tell that it really bothered her.
"Hey, I wasn't judging. I was just telling you that you deserve better," Corso said, smearing the kolto on her cut. "You deserve better than some guy who'll…" He trailed off, unsure of how to finish his statement.
"Some guy who'll fuck me like a common whore and go home to make love to his wife?"
Corso winced slightly at her blatant wording and the unwanted mental pictured that arose. "Yeah. Just saying that you deserve a man who'll stay. Someone who won't lie to you."
Cecily broke eye contact. "I don't deserve any of that, Corso."
Corso was stunned. He'd never really witnessed her level of self-hate that she possessed until then. It broke his heart to know that someone so beautiful, inside and out, had been hurt so much; hurt in a way that made her feel so low and empty. He sighed. "I'm not the smartest man in the galaxy, captain, but I do know this: no action warrants the kind of torture you put yourself through." Tears came to her eyes and she still wouldn't look at him directly. She was now looking behind him, lost in some memory. He'd give anything to see what she was seeing. He carefully put a bandage over the cut, trying to secure it without pressing too much on the bruise forming on her cheek. She blinked the tears away and smiled at him.
All happy-go-lucky and flirty, she kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Riggs." She stood up and Corso was floored, unsure if the last seconds were simply a figment of his imagination. "I might have to get punched by more married men, if that's what it takes for some special attention." She winked and slipped out of the med bay.
Just across the corridor, Corso heard the airlock open and he peeked his head out.
Cecily wrinkled her nose. "Risha? Didn't think you'd be back tonight."
The redhead gave a disgusted sigh. "Neither did I, until we sat down for a drink and he chewed the ice in his cup." She shook her head. "It wasn't even chewing. It was chomping. Long story short, I decided that I definitely had better things to do than spend the night with a miserable ice-muncher." She tilted her chin, gesturing to the contusion on Cecily's face. "What about you? What happened?"
"Married man," Cecily gave as a short explanation. Risha nodded, though her expression gave away her slight level of concern. Risha was certainly promiscuous in her own right, but next to Ceci, she seemed like a virtuous jedi. Corso felt some relief that the subject was a matter concern for other crew members. It was, after all, a rather self-destructive path that Cecily had placed herself on. Corso sighed and slipped past the two women.
"What's got him so aloof?" Risha asked.
Cecily shrugged, "Been a long night."
Risha snorted. "Not for me. I feel cheated."
Cecily laughed. "You can always go running back to your socially deviant ice-chomper."
"Not likely," the mechanic said dryly. "I'm gonna go ahead and turn-in for the night, captain."
"Yeah, I probably will too. Night, Risha," Risha started off toward the crew quarters and Cecily yelled after her. "Don't let the ice-munchers bite!"
"You find that way too amusing, captain," she retorted, slipping out of sight and into the shared quarters.
Confident that no one else was around, Cecily let her demeanor fall. She was tired and her face was throbbing. Tonight seemed like a very good night to sit in the shower and cry for a while. Self-pity wasn't her usual style, but sometimes someone needed a little divergence.
As the young blonde stepped into the shower, she didn't think about what she was trying to wash off. She didn't entertain the possibility that it was not an outer dirt, but rather an inner one. Instead, she just pulled the handle and let the liquid flow over her, the pure water mingling with her briny tears.
Oh wow, you made it through?
Just know this: you da real MVP...
Thanks for reading and the 'foundation of my ego' appreciates your support ;-)