My relationship with Alex had always been full of drama. The comparison of our relationship to a rollercoaster was so clichéd, yet so fitting. Whether we were on a beach in Tahiti, or in our apartment in New York, drama always managed to find us. One minute we would be arguing and virtually tearing each other's throats out like hungry wolves, and the next we would be ripping each other's clothes off with reckless abandon, filled with lust and an animalistic need for one another. It was almost laughable that during the most stable period of our relationship that life would play its cruelest joke on us. In one single moment, our lives were completely turned upside down and the rollercoaster set off again.
"Piper, will you please stop shaking your fucking leg about like a thing possessed." Alex said in a strained voice. It was a stress reaction that always irritated Alex. She once joked that I was like one of those wind up cars that you wound up but didn't release, so its wheels would spin but it'd never go anywhere.
"Sorry Al." I murmured, whilst putting both feet firmly on the ground and resting my elbows on my knees in an attempt to suppress it. I sighed and looked at the clock, the bile in my throat rising when I realised it was only 6 more minutes until Alex's appointment. I picked up a magazine and began mindlessly flicking through it when I heard a commotion occurring outside one of the doctor's offices.
"Get off me!" a man was shouting, whilst shaking his fist at a younger man.
"Dad, it's OK, I'm your son, calm down." the man plead with a exasperated tone.
"No you're not! My Lawrence would never lay a finger on me! Now go before I call the police!" the older man cried.
"Mr Bloom, this is your son, please calm yourself down," A middle aged female doctor appeared out of her office. "It's perfectly OK Mr Bloom, your son is here to take care of you." The man looked at the doctor with a child like expression on his face before bursting into tears, his whole body shaking as he choked out violent sobs, clinging onto her for dear life whilst his son rubbed his back; whispering reassurances and comforting words to him in what seemed like a futile and feeble effort to calm him down.
I looked over to Alex who was staring in the opposite direction, tight lipped and pale faced. Her fists were clenched and she reminded me off a greek statue, beautiful and stony. I placed my hand on her shoulder, but it was soon shrugged off as she sniffed and wiped her eyes.
"Miss Vause please?" Alex's neurologist, Dr Healy, stood outside the door with a fake smile plastered on his face as he looked in the direction of the crying man. Don't worry, they don't all do that. His expression seemed to say as he then motioned for us to enter his office.
We both stood up at exactly the same time, perfectly in sync like there was an electrical current running between us, constantly keeping us balanced with each other. "A connection that never really goes away" I remember briefly what Alex had once said whilst we were laying in each other's embrace one lazy Sunday afternoon. We both entered the room hand in hand, feeling like we were trapped in a parallel universe somehow.
"So Miss Vause, we have the results from your PET scan." Dr Healy said, whilst sorting through some papers on his desk.
"As you know, we disregarded any problems such as lesions or bleeding on the brain from your MRI scan, but unfortunately your clinical symptoms pointed towards the fact that something is wrong." Dr Healy continued, looking as though this was the first ever time he had ever broken bad news to someone.
"Just hurry the fuck up and tell me." Alex said through gritted teeth. Dr Healy turned the computer screen towards us where we were presented with a scan of her brain, highlighted with different colours.
"As you can see here, what's highlighted are large sections of a substance called amyloid on the brain tissue. Taking this, and the clinical symptoms you've presented with into account, I'm afraid to say you have early onset Alzheimer's disease, or familial Alzheimer's disease. I'm so sorry".
"Alzheimer's disease? But that's an old person's disease. She's 36 for crying out loud!" I burst out in complete panic. How could she have Alzheimer's at such an early age? She hadn't even lived half her life yet. "There must have been some sort of mistake, surely there needs to be more tests before you can definitely say it's Alzheimer's?" I continued, looking over at my wife for some sort of reaction.
"As I stated, the amyloid on her brain is consistent and ties up with her symptoms, and therefore a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. It's very unusual for a person to have such a large proportion of plaque on their brain at this age. As we grow older, we develop amyloid on our brain which accounts for natural memory degeneration, but Miss Vause should not have this at her age." He looks at Alex, also looking for some sort of response.
"Do you have any questions Miss Vause?" he asks her in a gentle voice.
"I don't know… I have no idea. Piper please?" Alex looks at me, her eyes filled with tears and her eyebrows scrunched in such an adorably immature way my heart breaks.
"Are there any support groups, or leaflets for anything like this? Counselling maybe?" I know counselling is the last thing that Alex would ever want, but selfish Piper rears its ugly head and wants to know for narcissistic Piper, self centred Piper, self indulgent Piper.
"Yes, of course." He flips through a folder and hands us a pamphlet with a young woman and an elderly woman smiling, as if there's something to be happy about. He highlights something inside and clears his throat. "These are websites and support forums to help you both. I've also highlighted a few helpline numbers and this one here," he points to an asterisked number, "Is a specialised number for familial Alzheimer's".
"Thank you Doctor." I say as I put the leaflet in my bag. Dr Healy stands up and offers his hand to us.
"I'm sorry I couldn't have better news for you both." he says while adjusting the stethoscope around his neck.
"Thanks again, you've been great" I lie, tears threatening to spill at any moment. I take Alex's hand and go to lead her out of the door until I hear a quiet voice.
"Am I going to die?" Alex asks, looking at the floor, eyes shut whilst she awaits the dreaded answer.
"You won't die from it, you'll…die with it. However, yes, your life expectancy is significantly decreased". Dr Healy explains.
"That's what I thought". Alex whispers. "Thank you". She pulls me out the door and shuts it gently behind her. She looks at me for such a long period of time before throwing her arms round me and crying, howling like a new born child. The only time I've seen such devastation was when her mum died several years back. She sinks to her knees and hugs my legs, absolute hysteria flowing through her. I place my hands on her head, and try to comfort her. I am reminded of the man earlier, desperately trying to comfort his father, but to no avail. I look around the waiting room, my previous expression of horror and worry mirrored on their faces now. I look down at my wife, unable to comprehend that my 'mamazing, bad ass Vause' is in such pain and distress. I sit on the floor with her, cuddling her, telling her it's all going to be OK.
Then it inally hits me, an epiphany almost, that this time I have to grow up. There is no one else to support her and for once in my life, I have to step the fuck up and look after her. Even if it is the last thing I ever do.
A/N - So this is my first ever fic! I really hope you guys enjoy it. I know it's kind of depressing, but it's a subject that's really close to my heart and I'd really like to explore it with our favourite girls. Please feel free to review and/or PM me, and of course none of these characters belong to me :)