First of all – if you're an old reader and have just gone to the latest chapter, then you need to go back to chapter 17 because I've just updated them all at once. This is the last chapter, so you don't want to spoil yourself!
Now, the triangle is over! Yay! I wasn't sure if everyone would be absolutely sure that Chuck really wasn't up to something, so allow me to put your minds at ease. The Chuck/Blair saga is officially over, now if only Dan and Blair can figure things out…..
Here it is, the end. I nearly cried when I finished this – talk about a labor of love. I've never done something like this and to finish it, after a couple years, feels very strange. But that's it. I have both loved and hated it at times, but I want to thank you guys for riding out the journey with me – even though I know I haven't made it easy. There's so much I want to say about this chapter, but I can't without really spoiling it, and I kind of hope that the ending speaks for itself….the format may suddenly seem a bit weird (I was almost going for a format style), but I really, really hope that it's satisfying.
The beginning of the end. A pre-graduation breakfast at the Van der Woodsen's penthouse was not exactly how Dan wanted to start the day, but he was actually relieved that it was a bigger event than he had expected – the more people were there, the less he was asked about his plans for the future.
Aside from the Humphrey – Van der Woodsen clan, Nate and his mother were invited, along with Blair, her parents and their partners, Vanessa and even Chuck. Dan knew that Lily still had a soft spot for him and probably always would. Dan couldn't begrudge Serena, Nate and Blair their excitement, but he was a little bit jealous. They were so excited for what comes next after graduation, Dan just wished he knew what the hell that was going to be for him.
Blair gushed about the trips she already had planned with her father, when Harold caught Dan's eye from across the table.
"And what are your summer plans, Daniel?" He asked.
"Um, I'm not really sure yet…" Dan said slowly. He didn't want to lie, but at the same time he didn't want to be a downer. "I actually got an offer from Noah Shapiro to work with him again."
Dan could feel his Rufus's eyes on him. He had mentioned it to him before, and he hadn't said anything, but Dan knew that he didn't approve. He felt like most of the people there didn't.
"Or you could come backpacking with me." Vanessa broke the silence. "Latvia, Austria, Italy?"
"Maybe. It would probably be good for me to get out of New York for a while." Dan replied. "Plus, I always did want to do the Kerouac On the Road thing."
"So, you're still writing?" Nate asked.
"Yeah. I'm actually working on a new story right now. But don't worry, it's all completely fictional." People politely laughed. It was horrifically awkward.
Dan was very relieved when Eric changed the subject, and the group didn't have the chance to circle back round to talking about his future again before they had to leave. Nate, Serena and Chuck went on ahead, as Blair shared a hug with her father and Dan helped tidy up a little before he left. Just as he was on his way out, Harold called him.
"I just wanted to say that I was sincerely sorry to hear about Yale." He told him honestly.
"Yeah, it's too bad." Dan replied, trying not to sound too crushed but politely acknowledge Harold's concern at the same time. "I guess it was just never really in my reach anyway."
Blair appeared at Harold's side having retrieved her coat as Dan spoke. Harold nodded respectfully at him, but Dan could see the sympathy there.
"I'll see you later, daddy." Blair said, stopping him from saying anything more as she helped Dan make his escape.
They stepped into the elevator together and Dan hoped that he could escape having to answer any of her questions too. He had no such luck.
"So, are those really your plans for the summer?" She asked disbelievingly.
"I don't know." Dan shrugged. "I've not really got a lot of choices."
"Nate told me that he invited you sailing with him, and that you might join them in Rome for a little while." Blair responded and after Dan didn't say anything, she continued. "You should come. It'd be really nice to spend some time with you."
"Blair, it's not that I don't want to see you, it's just…I don't see how we could be friends. Our lives are just completely different, you can spend the summer in the nicest hotels in Europe, and I'll be in the hostels. Then, next year, you'll be in Yale and I'll be…"
"You're not even going to try and put any effort in?"
"It's not that. But, let's face it...you were never really in my reach anyway." Even though Dan meant it, he felt like that had come out wrong and tried to explain. "Look, I'm not saying that I regret it, because I don't. Getting close to you this last year has been amazing, and I wouldn't change that for anything. But, it just wouldn't make sense to try and…continue with all of this right now. I'm just glad that we can end this whole thing on good terms. Now we both have a clean slate and can move on."
The elevator doors opened and they both stepped out without exchanging another word.
The graduation ceremony went relatively smoothly. They got Dan's name wrong in the program, but for an event starring Gossip Girl's favorite victims, the occasion was pleasantly uneventful. He'd been expecting one last Gossip Girl bomb – but they'd actually all been quite well behaved recently, perhaps, for the first time ever, no one had done anything that they shouldn't. Or, perhaps Gossip Girl was moving on too.
After graduation, Dan faced another party back at the Van der Woodsen penthouse, with kids and parents all invited again. Dan had already said most of his goodbyes, and for those that he hadn't, they weren't people he planned on saying goodbye to. He was sure he'd feel differently if it wasn't for his father's relationship with Lily, maybe then he would be afraid of growing apart and losing touch with his friends, but he had first-hand knowledge that the Humphrey's and Van der Woodsen's were moving closer and closer to becoming family. Feeling secure that he'd always be connected to Serena made him pretty sure that he wouldn't ever lose contact with Nate either, and he hoped that he would still see Blair around when they were both in the city. However often that would end up happening.
He didn't want to say goodbye, but when Serena left Dan and Nate alone while she took pictures with Blair and her minions, Dan took one look at Nate's face and knew that a heart to heart was coming.
"Look at her." Nate said, gesturing to Serena as she laughed with her friends. "I still can't quite believe that…I got everything that I wanted."
"I can't quite believe that I'm genuinely happy for you, but I am." Dan responded. "You two make sense. It took me a while to see it, but you do."
Dan saw a sadness in Nate's eyes, he could tell that he was just itching to say the same about him and Blair, to encourage him to go after her just one last time. He was relieved when Nate stayed quiet.
"Speaking of things that I never thought would happen, you and I becoming friends…" Nate continued, after a lengthy and awkward pause.
"Yeah, that was a welcome plot twist, wasn't it?"
"Now, my parents are working things out, I got my home back and I'm with Serena. I don't think any of that would have happened if it wasn't for you. Thank you."
Dan was surprised this had come from Nate. He was used to being the more expressive one, he was touched, but also a little uncomfortable.
"I'm really glad we're friends." Dan replied after a beat. He hadn't been sure how else to respond, but it was true and Nate knew that he meant it.
"Look, I know you're worried about what's going to happen next, but I am sure that, whatever you end up doing, you'll be okay. You have more intelligence and integrity than anyone I know."
Dan was stuck for a reply again, luckily Serena saved him when she called Nate over so the two of them could pose for some couple-y pictures. Dan had a feeling that everything that had needed to be said had been, and he was happy to leave it at that. The truth is, it was hard for him to talk about because he was sadder than he expected to be. Partly, because of the people he was going to miss, but also because he was a little jealous. He was standing in a room full of people who knew exactly what they wanted to do with their lives and were on the right path to achieving it. Dan had always told himself that high school would be the worst time of his life – it would be the only time when he'd be made to feel like he was at the bottom of the totem pole. Then, after high school, he'd achieve everything he wanted and all the people who looked at him like he was nothing would have a rude awakening in the real world. He was starting to wonder if the real world was just a bigger version of high school after all.
He soon got dragged into the pictures and it then evolved into some makeshift family pictures with him, Serena, Rufus, Lily, Jenny and Eric. No one said 'family photo', but Dan was sure it was probably what they were all thinking. The others dispersed afterwards leaving Dan with Serena, who was already looking through the pictures.
"Dan, look at your dad in this one! He looks so happy!"
"Yeah, he is." Dan agreed, looking over her shoulder at the photo. "It's almost weird that it's not weird anymore."
"What isn't?" Serena asked.
"You know, our parents. Together. But it works, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, it does. I hadn't even thought about it in a while, it all just started to seem natural. Even you and me."
"You and me." Dan sighed. "As…step…siblings?"
"Well, no, that would be weird. But friends. Always." She said, reaching out and touching his hand.
"I agree, I don't think I could ever think of you as a sister, but what I was actually getting at is...there's a chance, in the near future, that you probably will be." He smiled at Serena, waiting for her eyes to go wide as she realized what he was saying. She did almost instantly and squealed as she pulled him into a hug.
Maybe he wasn't supposed to, but he and Jenny already knew that Rufus was going to propose, he'd bet everything he had (which, admittedly, wasn't much), that Jenny had told Eric, so he assumed there'd be no harm in telling Serena. The party started to wind down quickly afterwards, as people begun to leave – there was another party planned that night for the graduates, so people wanted to start getting ready. It wasn't long until it was just the people closest to them left.
"Wait, before you go, Chuck, I need one more picture!" Serena stopped Chuck from leaving, dragging him by the arm back into the living room. Dan noticed it out of the corner of his eye, but wasn't really paying attention.
"Come on, guys!" Serena waved for Nate and Blair to join them, and the four of them lined up as Lily rushed over to take the camera from Serena.
"Wait, Dan, come on." Serena said, waiting expectantly.
"What?" Dan asked. This was not a photo he felt like he belonged in.
"Come on, Serena has promised that this is the last photo. Let's make it quick." Nate added.
Dan still didn't feel quite right about it, but he didn't argue. He went and stood next to Nate, who put his arm around his shoulder.
"Okay, smile!" Lily said, before snapping the picture and handing the camera back to Serena. "That was a good one."
"There we are." Serena sounded bittersweet as she looked at the picture. "The high school gang."
Dan looked at her in disbelief. It was her, Blair, Nate and Chuck, it always had been. He expected that Serena inviting him into the picture was just a gesture, but looking at her face now, he knew that it was genuine. He had never thought himself 'one of the gang', he didn't ever really believe that anyone could think something different.
Dan wondered away in a daze, walking into Chuck as he tried to leave again.
"Humphrey, I already told you once that you're not my type." Chuck dead-panned.
"I know. But haven't you realized that I'm a masochist yet? I must enjoy the rejection." Dan replied, half joking, but also realizing that he put up with a lot of rejection over the last few years.
"I'm sure you'll continue to get your fix of rejection with…whatever you do next." Chuck waved his hand. Dan wasn't sure if this was his attempt to be civil or not. He had no idea what was going on and suspected that Chuck didn't either.
"And I'm sure that you'll be happy with…building hotels." Dan attempted to return the favor.
"I'll just be happy knowing that you won't be in New York anymore." Chuck smiled, then walked out. Dan breathed a sigh of relief – it was actually a comfort that he and Chuck didn't have to be that nice to each other. He expected that he wouldn't see him a whole lot in the future, but their new dynamic was going to take some getting used to.
"Serena I could handle." A voice behind Dan started. "Nate, I accepted, Blair was more difficult, but don't tell me you're becoming friends with Chuck now too?"
"I don't think you have anything to worry about." Dan turned to face Vanessa.
"So, have you thought anymore about coming backpacking with me?"
"Since this morning? No."
"Fair enough." Vanessa realized that maybe she was pushing a little hard. "There's not a time limit, okay? Even if I'm out in the middle of the jungle somewhere and you decided you want to come meet me, you'll be more than welcome. So…it's not a commitment you have to make, you understand?"
"Yeah," Dan replied cautiously, "why are you being kind of weird?"
"I don't know, I just…you seem like you've been a little lost over the last few weeks. I know that you're trying to figure out what to do next and I just don't want you to think that I'm pressuring you. Whatever you decide, okay?"
"Sure. Thanks." Dan nodded, knowing that Vanessa wasn't quite convinced.
"Speaking of," Vanessa began again, "I was talking to Cyrus and he has some friends at NYU. He said it's not too late for him to put in a word for you."
"Yeah, I'll think about it." Dan nodded again.
"Okay." Vanessa said slowly, starting to get frustrated that she didn't seem to be getting through to him. "So, I'm going to take off."
"Okay. See you tonight." Dan turned to carry on gathering all the champagne glasses left around the room. Some things about being a cater waiter had stuck.
"Dan." Vanessa called after him.
"Yeah?" He turned back to her.
"NYU does have a time limit, okay? I know that you want to consider all your options, but don't wait too long, or you might not have many left."
Dan didn't respond this time and Vanessa turned around and left. He felt kind of bad that he wasn't being the best friend in the world to her right now – but she was the one friend he had that he knew he had no loose ends to tie up with. It was important that he was on good terms with everyone he went to high school with and cared about today, he wouldn't be forced to be around them anymore and it would be harder to maintain the friendships – but that had always been the case with Vanessa. They had survived this long and he was sure they'd survive whatever came next. He would apologize to her once he got through this phase and figured out whatever was wrong with him and everything would be okay again.
Soon, the apartment was pretty empty, with just a few parents still chatting away. Serena was in her room getting changed for the next party and Jenny and Eric had already left, but Dan stayed a little longer to help tidy up.
"I knew I liked you." Harold said as he approached Dan. "All the other kids rush off to the party and you stay to help your parents tidy up."
"Well, I'm not really the party kind of guy." Dan replied humbly.
"But you are going, I hope? Last chance to say goodbye to a lot people."
"I think I've already said my goodbyes." Dan responded, even though he knew it wasn't fully true. "But I probably will swing by later."
"You should. I'm sure Blair would like to see you."
Dan didn't respond. It had actually become a good way of coping with conversations he doesn't want to have lately.
"She's still hoping that Yale might reconsider their options and-"
"What do you mean?" Dan cut him off.
"She didn't tell you?" Harold asked confused, Dan was silent as he waited for an explanation. "When she first found out, she called me to tell me that it was a travesty that the they wouldn't do everything they could to acquire a talent like yours and that if that's how much they value intelligence and ability then maybe she should reconsider going to college there at all."
Dan found it all too easy to picture Blair ranting down the phone to her father and saying those words – not that she would ever, ever give up Yale.
"And after having read your stories, I have to say that I agreed with her. So, she asked me to personally pass them along to some of my old friends there."
Dan froze. This was the last thing he wanted. He had seen a lot of people get special treatment and he never wanted to achieve anything in that way. That thought quickly faded though when he realized that there was still no chance he'd be getting into Yale.
"I don't want to get your hopes up." Harold continued, as if he could read Dan's mind. "But, I thought, if nothing else, then at least they'll know who you are. These are well connected academics, Dan. If they like what they read, they might know of some other opportunities for you."
"Thank you." Dan said, not sure if he meant it or not. He tried to appreciate the thought at least, but he didn't want to go through all of this again. Losing Yale once had been bad enough and he had been trying to handle it like a man, he didn't want it to come across like he was begging. He still had some pride left after all.
He really wasn't in the mood to go to the party after that, but after checking his phone and seeing that both Serena and Nate had texted him to let them know they were waiting for him, he knew that he'd feel bad about if it he didn't. He went back to the loft to get changed and was surprised to see his dad on the couch when he came out of his room.
"Hi. What are you doing here?" He asked.
"You just seem like you've been kind of down lately. I wanted to make sure that you were actually going to this party and weren't just going to spend the night hiding out here and moping."
"I really am going and you really don't need to worry so much. Go, spend some time with Lily. It's okay." Dan replied, waving his hands to try and usher Rufus out the door.
"I will, I just…I kind of wanted to talk to you too."
"Is everything alright?" Dan asked.
"Yeah, it's you I'm worried about." Rufus stopped and they both prepared themselves, as Dan felt something of an intervention coming. Another one. "This morning you said that you probably will work with Shapiro again. Do you really think that's a good idea?"
"Honestly?" Rufus nodded, but Dan was already elaborating "I think it would be a mistake to go back to him. But I don't have anywhere else to go."
"That's not true, Dan. You have more options than you think, you don't need to cling onto this offer just because you think it's all you're going to get. Maybe it's best you don't make any decisions right now and just take a few months to clear your mind, go backpacking with Vanessa. Then see what makes sense for you when you come back."
"I don't know, I just…look, I know I have some decisions to make. I don't have to make any tonight, do I?"
"No." Rufus agreed. "Go to the party. Have a good time and try and unwind, okay? I know that it feels like things aren't going great right now, but you achieved a lot at St Jude's and I'm really proud of you. Don't forget about all the things that you've accomplished."
"Thanks, dad." Dan replied trying to sound like his dad had genuinely cheered him up and hoping he could make his getaway now.
"And one more thing, Lily wants you to know that her offer still stands. I know that it's too late for Yale and that you wanted to do that by yourself, but if you decide you want to go to NYU and you need some financial help, we'll help. I mean, she'll help. Financially. Obviously."
"Sure." Dan smiled, entertained by Rufus's little slip. They were a 'we' already no matter what Rufus said, but Dan knew that money would always be a slight issue between them. Knowing that they would probably be married soon and that they were becoming a real family allowed Dan to be more comfortable with the idea of Lily lending him money. He still couldn't allow her to just to pay for him, if he ever did take her up on her offer, he would make sure to pay her back, no matter how long it took. He had tried to distance himself from her wealth for a long time, honestly he had been worried it might change him for the worse. He almost felt like the moment he started accepting financial help from her, he'd be a lesser person. But, now he saw that he'd managed to become a lesser person all by himself. He wouldn't let another opportunity that he truly wanted slip by again because he was too proud to accept money from someone else.
He tried not to think about it all and just enjoy the evening – but the one thing he couldn't get out of his mind was Blair getting her father to pass his stories along. He was kind of angry. It had taken him a lot to accept that his dream of going to Yale was over, and he just wished that everyone else would accept it too.
But he still adored her. So much. He couldn't be that angry and he couldn't help but be moved that she was trying so hard. He didn't know what to say to her, he didn't want to repeat the conversation they had had earlier that day, it had been painful enough once – but he knew he had to say something.
"Hey," he approached her when he had the chance, "are you having a good time?"
Dan wondered how it was, after everything that happened, he could still turn into a bumbling idiot around her who didn't have a clue what to say. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Smalltalk is not your forte, Humphrey." She responded gleefully.
"Okay, I'll just dive right into then." Dan said, taking a deep breath to prepare himself. "I spoke to your dad. He told me that you asked him to pass my stories along to the people that he knows at Yale."
"Oh?" She asked. She clearly hadn't wanted him to know about it. She started to look around nervously, like she didn't want anyone to overhear their conversation.
"I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate you trying, but I wish that you hadn't."
"What? Why not?" She suddenly didn't seem to care if anyone heard them.
Dan could see that she wasn't going to accept this as easily as he hoped, so he led her to a backroom so that he could explain.
"I just can't understand why you did it." He began, as he shut the door behind him. "I tried really hard, I gave it everything – even when I had to hurt people I cared about – I did everything I could to get into Yale. And when I did, I did everything I could to try and pay for it, but…it's just over. I've accepted it and, I know that you're just trying to help, but you're making it harder."
"That's why I didn't want you to know. I was just trying to see if there was…a possibility. That's all." Blair defended herself, calming down as she saw how hard it was for Dan to talk about.
Dan took a deep breath. He didn't want to chastise Blair for doing something that was actually pretty selfless, but he didn't want this to go on anymore. "Well, can you accept it now? Can you just let me do what I've got to?"
"You know what? I can't. I can accept the fact that you're not going to Yale, but I can't accept the fact that you're resigned to a fate of being Noah Shapiro's bitch. You can do so much better than that."
"It's not like I have any other choice-"
"But you do! You've just given up. I didn't ask my dad for help because I like you, Dan, I did it because I know that you deserve to be at that school next year. Yes, you hurt people – but you didn't hurt anybody more than you did me." Blair paused allowing Dan to wince as he remembered the fallout of his Claire Carlyle story going public. "And still, I can see what a good writer you are and I think that, if you could learn from the right people, you could be a great writer one day. And okay, I also did it because I do care about you and I know that there is nothing you want more than to go to that school."
"Blair-"
"And I knew that you wouldn't like me going behind your back, but just because you're content to give up doesn't mean I'm going to let you! I just wish that you could get over your stupid pride and let yourself be happy."
"You think that's my problem? That I'm too proud?"
"If it's not, then why aren't we together right now?" Blair shrugged. Dan went quiet, she was suddenly a lot more vulnerable. The mood in the room had changed and now it seemed like they were talking about something very different.
"Dan, I do like you. A lot." She stepped towards him, her eyes almost begging. "I know that you don't think there's any point, but I want to give it a chance. I know that we won't be at Yale together next year, but…can't we at least…try?"
"I can't." He said quickly, grabbing her wrists as he felt her hands go to his chest.
"Why not?" She pled, her hands sliding up his chest and around the back of his neck.
"It's not the right time-"
"Why? Why would you-"
"Blair, I'm so…. lost at the moment." Dan's voice fell to a whisper. Blair now had her forehead pushed against his, but he couldn't even make eye contact with her. "I don't know anything right now. What I'm going to do, who I'm going to be. Blair, I….I've been falling for you all year. My feelings for you are the one thing that I'm not confused about right now. And maybe if we were going to be together next year…I just don't think it would be fair to drag you into all of this. And I don't think it would be a good way to start a relationship, we'd be doomed straight away. Maybe, in a year…after I've figured things out and you've gotten used to life at Yale, if we both still feel the same way…."
"Dan, how can you let this go?"
He didn't have to look at her to know she was crying now. He couldn't take it anymore, his hands found her wrists again as he untangled himself from her.
"Because I think it's the best thing for you."
His pride was gone and that was the truth. The truth he had been wrestling with for a while. He had pushed her away since Chuck had thrown himself back into her life, mostly because he was sure that that was a battle he was going to lose – but since then, his opinion of himself had changed. A few months ago he was so sure that he would be the right thing for Blair, that he would do everything he could to make her happy. And that was still all he wanted – but he knew that he was far from the best version of himself. Deep down, Dan was still jealous. And, even though it wasn't a truth that he liked to admit to himself, he knew that he'd resent hearing about how much fun she was having at Yale. Plus, since she had moved on from Chuck, Dan had seen that Blair had grown more than he ever could have imagined. He felt like she had surpassed him in a lot of ways, that she was much more ready for the world than he was and that she was going to conquer it while Dan was probably just going to get swallowed up. Another washed up wannabe writer who had burned out before the age of 21.
Dan didn't know what the future held for him, but he was pretty sure what it held for Blair. She had a fresh start. She was going to have the time of her life at Yale, she was going to be around minds that matched her own and meet a lot of amazing new people – perhaps she'd even meet someone she could fall in love with. Dan didn'twant to hold her back from any of that. That was the only thing that gave him the strength to walk away as she stood in that room crying.
A few days passed and Dan didn't hear from Blair. He hadn't expected to. High school was over, but life went on. Rufus had proposed to Lily that night, she had accepted and straight away they had moved in together. However, Rufus had opted to keep the loft for Dan to live in, at least for a little while, until he figured out what he was going to do. He hadn't seen much of Serena and Nate either, but he had made plans to see them as much as he could before they left in a few days – he wouldn't see them for quite a while after that. Unless he met up with them in Europe, which was something he was still considering. He still had all the money he had saved from working as a cater waiter and thought about just blowing it all in one week of decadence in Rome. But it just wasn't him.
Shapiro had called him again to tell Dan that he expected him on Monday morning. He didn't even need to assume that Dan had taken his offer, he knew that he could just bully him into it. And, as it stood, Dan was prepared to show up Monday morning, and the day after that and the day after that and every day after until he could find a better opportunity. Not that that was very likely to happen, since his little adventure with New York Magazine, every major magazine in the city had blacklisted him. Not to say it was all bad, he had got the attention of a lot of blogs who wanted to work with him, but he hadn't got back to any of them yet. It was still a little bit like he was sleepwalking. He knew it wasn't right and it wasn't healthy, but he didn't know what he could do himself to get out of it – he needed something else to come along and snap him out of it.
He snapped out of it pretty quickly when he saw an email for one of the English professors at Yale in his inbox. At first he thought it was a prank, then he was a little disappointed, because a part of him was hoping that suddenly he could just get back into Yale. It didn't quite work out with that. Professor Nicholls was full of praise for Dan's writing, he liked his satirical style and understanding of human emotion. He knew of an opportunity with a travel magazine, explained that spending a year or so working would look really good on his application for Yale next year.
Dan didn't know why it hadn't crossed his mind earlier. Yale wasn't gone, not for good – he could apply again next year. Not to mention the fact that this professor taking a shine to him and helping him out this way was huge. He could travel, with his friends, he could write, he could work, he could figure out who he was again and then go to Yale next year after Rufus and Lily were married and Dan has adjusted to the idea of letting them help him out financially.
The next few days were all a bit of a blur. He didn't have a whole lot of time to get in contact with Professor Nicholls to thank him profusely, explain to his family what had happened and start planning his trips with Vanessa, Nate and Serena. He didn't get the chance to see Blair again before he left.
Four days later, he was at the airport with Vanessa. They took the extra money Dan had earned from his cater waiter job to upgrade their plans a little bit. Although they did wind up in a tent every now and then – Dan liked those nights the best. It was when he felt the most philosophical. He had apologized to her for the way he'd been acting around graduation and they had repaired their friendship easily. Although Dan was homesick and still lived with a 'what if' when it came to Blair, he felt like he was getting back to the best version of himself.
They met Nate, Serena, Jenny and Eric in Rome – and were surprised that Blair had flown over from France, too. She made no secret of the fact that she had wanted to see Dan. He finally had the chance to tell her all the things he had wanted to say before he left, to thank her for opening up this new opportunity for him. She gave little away when it came to what she was thinking and feeling, but they still ended up sleeping together.
Dan and Nate ended up joining the girls in Paris for a little while, and the whole thing seemed like an extremely long double date. Dan and Blair had accidentally become a couple – without any communication about it or plans for the future. They held hands walking down the streets of Paris, he wrapped his arms around as they gazed at the masterpieces in the louvre and he didn't sleep alone once. But more importantly, he didn't wake up alone either. At the end of the two weeks, they finally had to talk. Dan told her he had every intention of joining her at Yale in a year, but he couldn't expect her to wait. If they both still wanted to, they would give it a chance then – they couldn't start out a relationship when it was going to be long-distance for a year.
Dan and Nate ended up going sailing for a month, and then the summer was over and Dan was alone. It was hard, but it was good for him. He was writing, and he stayed in touch with everyone enough to know how happy they all were. He knew how his life looked from the outside too – he was the guy who turned down Yale, to then become a favorite of one of the professors and get a paid travel writing gig out of nowhere even after the stunt he pulled at New York Magazine. He knew how lucky he was and didn't take a moment of it for granted, but he was still a little jealous of his friends.
He spent a couple months around Thailand, before rushing back to New York in December for Rufus and Lily's wedding. He was surprised that Blair had made the trip back from New Haven to attend, and wound up spending most of the evening with her. They didn't sleep together this time. He knew how easily it could happen, but he felt like anything he did to make her hold onto their relationship, would be holding her back somehow when she got back to her new life.
It didn't take him long to give in though, he surprised her at Yale in February and spent almost two weeks holed up in her dorm room. He also took the opportunity to meet with Professor Nicholls and thank him for all the help, as well as solidify his ties with Yale to help secure his chances of being accepted again. With his backing, Dan was pretty confident that he had nothing to worry about.
He made a little bit of a tour out of it and visited Serena and Nate at Brown next, who were still going strong together – although Serena was very jealous of Dan's travel stories and was on the verge of dropping out to get some adventure. Dan was sure that wherever she went, Nate would follow, but he hoped that wouldn't be necessary. He then returned to New York to visit Vanessa at and to spend some time with his family again, before he took off for Africa.
He started off in Uganda, but ended up spending most of his time in South Africa. He tried to date other girls, but his heart was never really in it. He had heard from Serena that Blair had been dating a little, and she had even met a prince, but he had a feeling that Blair had moved way past her fairy tale fantasy and that it wouldn't last a week. He went to see for himself though, when he surprised Blair at Yale again in May, telling Blair that he was there just to thank Professor Nicholls again, as he had once again been accepted to the college of his dreams.
This time, Dan wasn't going to let anything get in the way. Rufus, having no need for the loft anymore, had sold it a few months before, but Lily still helped contribute to Dan's tuition fees. He promised he would pay her back one day, she said it wasn't necessary – but could see that couldn't be talked out of it.
Dan had also been right about the prince not lasting long. Apparently accents and titles didn't work for Blair anymore, she had a thing for writers now. That summer, Nate, Serena, Blair and even Chuck didn't feel like travelling. They had been apart most of the year, and were content just to spend all summer catching up in the Hamptons. Dan was invited, but he wanted to do a couple more months of work before he settled down at Yale.
He kept in touch with Blair a little, but even though they were so close to the finish line, it was hard. Dan talked to Serena the most, and found out from her that Blair had arrived back in New York early because her father was in town on business. Dan arrived back in New York a few days after and, after sleeping for thirteen hours and having lunch with Rufus, Lily, Jenny and Eric, made his way to Blair's without even consciously realizing that that's what he had decided to do.
"Daniel, I hope you're not the cater waiter." Was Eleanor's way of greeting him.
"What? No, I…" Dan stopped, glancing into the dining room. It looked like they were setting up for a big feast. He saw Harold, Cyrus and Roman having a discussion in there. "I just came to see Blair. I didn't realize that you were having a dinner."
"Well, Harold and Roman are going back to France tomorrow, so some of their old friends are coming over." Eleanor replied, waiting for Dan to leave. When he didn't make a move, she noticed that he appeared to be in a daydream. "But Blair will be down in a moment, I'm sure you can talk to her quickly before anyone else arrives."
"No, that's okay." Dan suddenly felt as if he was intruding. "It can wait. I'll talk to her some other time."
"Daniel!" A cheery voice stopped Dan as he turned to leave. Harold approached him with a big grin on his face. "I was hoping that I might see you before I went back to France."
"Well, I can't stay. I was just stopping by." Dan shook his hand. "But I'm glad I got to see you before you left, I cannot thank you enough for what you did last year. I'm sure you heard that I've been working as a travel writer and am going to Yale this fall?"
"Of course, it's all Blair will talk about right now." Harold smiled. "I assume you came to see her?"
"Yeah." Dan replied bashfully. "But I don't want to impose, it can wait. I should get out of here."
"Well, it was good to see you again, Dan. Good luck at Yale." Harold reached out to shake his hand again.
"It was good to see you too, and, thank you, again." Dan smiled, then left.
He wasn't disappointed, he would talk to Blair soon enough. Now just wasn't the right time. But he was barely out of the lobby, when he heard her voice calling after him.
"Humphrey!" He stopped in disbelief, as she caught up with him.
"Waldorf." He smiled at her. "I don't think I've ever see you run."
She gave Dan a look that made him feel like he should be the one running. "You were just going to leave?"
"Well, I thought I should let you spend some time with your dad. It's not too long till college starts back up again now, you'll be seeing me plenty."
"So you are going still going to Yale?" Her eyes danced as she looked at him, but Dan could see that she trying not to get her hopes up.
"Are you serious? Of course I am."
"You just seemed like you were having so much fun travelling, I was starting to think that you were going to decide that that's what you want to do. That you might not want Yale anymore."
"Oh, trust me, I still want Yale." He told her, a confidence in his voice that quickly sent her thoughts elsewhere.
"You do, huh?" She took a step towards him.
"Yeah. I mean, this last year had been really good for me, but the whole reason I even did it was for…Yale. So that I'd be ready for it this time. There was never a moment where I stopped wanting it."
"So, after all this time, we are going to be at Yale together after all?"
Dan took a took a step closer to her. "Yep. You and me, neutral ground…"
"And a clean slate." She added, now standing well within his personal space.
"I guess so. You're not going to act like you don't know me, are you?"
Blair tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. Like she could ignore him at this point.
"Thank you, Blair." He said as sincerely as he could, desperate to make her understand that he was still so grateful for what she had done. "This wouldn't have all happened if it wasn't for you."
"Well, you're welcome." She replied nervously. Neither of them were sure what to do next.
But Dan knew what he wanted to do. It had been a year, it had gone quickly and it wasn't really a long time in the great scheme of things, but they were both older and wiser. He had been white water rafting in crocodile river, he'd gone mountain climbing, he'd spent 4 hours on a train that you literally had to hold onto or you'd wind up stranded in the middle of the wilderness, he'd gone diving with sharks, he'd gone caving in the pitch black in Cambodia. He was a man of action now. And yet, Blair Waldorf was still the scariest thing he'd ever encountered. But he had learnt that the kind of fear he had when it came to Blair wouldn't protect him, it would only hurt him more further down the line.
"Are you still happy about it?" He finally asked her. "Me going to Yale, I mean."
"Are you?" She threw it back at him instantly. Dan rolled his eyes, maybe they hadn't come as far in a year as he had thought.
"Like I said, I never stopped wanting Yale, it's still the thing I want more than anything. Except for you." He said it confidently, he wasn't afraid anymore.
Blair, on the other hand, looked like she couldn't breathe.
"I'm not going to Yale for you, even if you're over me, I'm still going. But, if you do still feel the same way, maybe it will be our time. Finally. Come September, we can give this a shot. So, what do you say?"
"I don't know what to say." Blair breathed out. "I mean, yes, Dan, I do want to give this a chance. But…we don't have to wait till we're at Yale, do we?"
Blair barely had time to finish speaking as Dan's lips crashed onto hers. It was actually quite a chaste kiss. Dan was just savouring the fact that he was kissing her. That, somehow, a chance with her had come around again. He wasn't going to let it slip. As their lips parted, she rested her forehead against his.
"You probably need to get back upstairs now." Dan whispered against her lips.
"Probably." She agreed, whining slightly. "I'm sure that Dorota could set another place at the table….would you like to come inside?"