If I allow myself to listen I can hear the screams rang in my ears screams for those who ever not strong enough, screams of those who was not able to hold out, screams of the once drafted… Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if these I defeated scream also sang in the choirs of despair….

If you lose then your worthless – the words that was hammered over and over into my mind, it was edged into the corners of my brain, defeat meant you were useless and being useless meant … I cringed and opened my eyes to the cold shower water. I needed to cool off remained myself of where I am, to remember I am not back in that dark hell. Yet sometimes it's like that hell came with me and lurks in the dark side of my mind.

Allowing the water to pound down my body, cooling my heated skin and washing off the sweat that last night nightmare was able to induce, one day I might be ride of the demon that crawls under my skin and reminds me of times that I just rather keep erase .

"SO let's talk about your friends, would you say they're a good influence on you?" Today the honey blond therapist had her hair tied up in a tight bun it defiantly didn't suite her, it made her look more distant and even more like she has a stick up her ass to Tala.

"My friends? I wouldn't call them a good influence." Tala smirked slightly thinking of the group of boys that have seemed to be able to stick together for the most part with the slight exception of Kai, who came and went as he pleased.

"Could you just humor me and answer the question?"

"I could but where's the amusement for me if I did?"

" Tala …Mr. Valkov, just try…" She urged her tone sifting slightly.

"If you want to talk about them we will defiantly need more than an hour, maybe I should bring Bryan in here to take my place…" It was a interesting suggestion that that the Russian thought for a moment the honey blond would take his generous offer but it was worth the expression that passed over her face even if it was brief.

"No, we are here to talk about you , I want to know what bond you have formed with people around you the connections you have made and have been able to maintain." He was attempting to push her buttons and wasting time as always, dr. Williams needed him to co-operate with her but Tala was being one of the most difficult cases yet, he was damaged but refused to be fixed…. Her green eyes narrowed slightly did he feel that he cannot be fixed? Or did he feel like somehow deserved the way he feels.

"I have plenty of bonds, that's not why I am here remember, nothing wrong with my social skills I can promise you that much. I know my group of friends a long time since we were kids almost." At that moment Clare could see emotion pass n his blue eyes- she was on the right road to get the stubborn male to open up.

"So you know your friends since you were child, how was it like growing up in Russia with your friends?" Again there was a change in his crystal blue yes, but this time there was a shut down a withdrawal Clare wanted to shout as she could see him pulling away shutting the small window she was hardly able to push open.

" It was great. Can I go now?" His voice void of any emotion.

"Let's from now suppose it wasn't so great, let's just assume you had a hard child hood and felt lost … it wasn't your fault being a child the circumstances around you cannot be form your own doing." Clare's emerald green eyes looked down and scribbled something on her paper again.

Tala wanted to slap that paper from her hand, she hit a nerve a wound and he could feel it being picked apart exposing the raw flesh to the light… No that is not going to happen I will not allow anyone to mess with my mind, not ever again. Tala thought as he sat back against the leather sofa.

"I might have had a harsher situation than most, but that's not uncommon in Russia, not that you would know let me guess daddy paid for collage and anything else you wanted, don't tell me about circumstance that you don't know anything about." He took a deep breath he was a little harsher then he intended to be but his little therapist needed to be put firmly back.

"This is not about me." Clare's voice creaked slightly making Tala raise an eyebrow – did he struck a nerve ?

"It is you psychological health that I am focused on, Your angry at the thought that others did not have the same background as you and now your lashing out to make yourself feel better , or maybe make yourself feel worse." Her eyes where now focused on his attempting to see past all the walls Tala spent his life building. "Your child hood is part of who you become but that does not mean it's a crotch to lean on when you feel threatened or hide behind."

"I am not scared." The Russian suddenly snapped his muscles tensing and adrenalin starting to rush throws out his body.

"Then prove it, let me look your demon in his eye myself let me see what your hiding, why do you get so defensive once I touch on the subject." Clare leaned forward just a little but Tala noticed, he could smell her soft floral perfume.

"You defiantly won't like what you see doc." Tala said his voice low and dangerous. The red haired Russian was being pushed in this session today and he was giving away more information then he thought he would.

Dr. William kept her eye contact with her patient "I can take it." And for some reason he believed her, she seemed so confident in her abilities that Tala could feel himself admiring her determination.

"My child hood is not a topic I want to be touched, All I'll say about it today is that it was not Rainbows and sunshine I met Bryan and we became friends before…." His words caught, before what ? before we were caught on the streets and taken to a abbey ? He would never give her that much of himself.

"Before what Tala." She softly urged him.

"Our hours up." Tala stated standing up for the sofa and watched the honey blond blink for a moment then registered to what he meant. The session really passed faster today maybe because he felt slightly more comfortable around the female then he did the first time he was sent to her office their very first session he had simply sat closed his eyes for an hour whilst she attempted to get to know him. Tala smirked at his own thoughts.

"Our next session is on Monday." He switched form confused girl to professional woman. "I trust you won't get into any trouble this weekend…." Her words trailed off. "And please don't get arrested again."

"That would look bad on your record if your patient went on a crime spree huh…" Tala teased lightly. "Almost be worth robbing a bank to see that look on your face."

"Would not be fun to have to continue the sessions behind bars." Clare stated with a dry tone.

That statement made Tala think of Bryan's dirty movies he could only imagine the replay his silver haired friend would say to make his honey-blond blush… don't go there Tala thought and walked out the door " See yea." He mumbled and pulled out his mobile writing a quick text down.

Tala was sure he would find some way of keeping busy this weekend.

AN: Thank you for reading, I put a lot into this chapter and hope it was enjoyable, please let me know what you think of it and if there is anything to approve upon, always willing to learn and improve, I think all off has a darker side, I am planing on expanding on this idea with other characters and more stories on it.

Thank you to Little A Granger for her review and support, it means a lot to me.