A/N: Thank you all so much for even more follows, favourites and reviews! It really does inspire me to keep writing. I'm trying to keep this updated as much as I can, and it will continue to be fairly regular until university starts again, although I will still try and keep it regular for you guys. Once again, feel free to ask me anything or suggest anything to me through PM or twitter (jena_weir) Hope you all enjoy! :)
"Ok, I won't. It's fine, I'm here." I say to Alex. For the first time in my life, I feel as though I'm finally doing the right thing. Every decision I've ever made in my life has felt misjudged or wrong, I've been criticised for nearly all my choices by my friends or family; whether that was choosing to stay in school and work hard whilst all my friends chose to skip class, declining invitations to parties in favour of softball practice (oh the irony of that one), or choosing to study a 'silly' subject in the words of my mother, and not following the typical Chapman path of becoming a lawyer or a doctor. All of my choices were just wrong.
Finally though, I'm doing the right thing, even if it did only take me 31 years.
Alex is taken to hospital, and Nicky and I following close behind in my little red Audi that Alex had bought me for my 30th birthday.
"Nicky, can you please put your seatbelt on, you're making me nervous," I frown over at her, annoyed that she never listens to me even though I tell her she's not getting in my car unless she puts the damn belt on.
"It's like you have no faith in your driving ability at all, not that I do mind you. I don't like feeling…restricted. Especially in times of stress," She retorts, fidgeting about which distracts me even more.
"It keeps bleeping at me, which will only stop when you put your fucking seatbelt on!" I complain.
"Fine," Nicky plugs the belt in, only to sit on top of it instead of strapping it round her. "Freedom and the bleeping stops," she announces happily.
"We've been through this a hundred times, strap on or step out is my motto in the car," I explain calmly, "Sitting on the seatbelt does not count," I add on sternly.
"Strap on? Really? Can you get your mind out the gutter whilst we're driving to see your sick wife? And you still haven't told me what's actually wrong with her. Probably untreated syphilis from her younger days," She laughs.
"Stop. Now." I snap, "Really, don't push me further than you already have Nichols."
"Woah ok, don't go off your little blonde head, will ya? Just trying to break the atmosphere," she replies, as if I'm the unreasonable one. "But for real, what is up?" she glances over waiting for a response.
"It's not my place to tell you," I say to her, keeping my eyes on the road.
"So it's OK for you to pitch up on my doorstep at fuckin' 1AM, asking for a place to stay and only telling me that you and Vause have had a row and that she's not well, but it's not OK for me to ask what's wrong? Bullshit," she scoffs.
I sit in silence, knowing she has a right to know considering she's practically Alex's sister, but I think it's just not my place to tell her. I'm so grateful she took me in last night and I was with a kind stranger, otherwise only god knows what could have happened.
I've drunk my own bodyweight in Bourbon and wine in a backstreet bar, when a cute stranger approaches me.
"Hey there," he smiles, "I'm John."
"Hi," I slur, "I'm *hiccup* Piper." I nearly fall off the bar stool, only for strong hands to keep me up and reposition me.
"What's a cute little thing like you doing alone in a bar on a Wednesday night, huh? Bad day?" he looks genuinely interested, or maybe he's just looking for an easy ride. I can't tell in my drunken haze.
"Something like that," I mumble, tipping the bourbon down my throat.
"Woah, I don't think I've ever seen a lady drink bourbon like that before." he laughs 'Maybe you should stop?"
"Never, and just for the record, Jamie, I'm no lady," I drunkenly point my finger towards his face.
"Just for the record, Piper, my name's John and not Jamie," he slowly enunciates his words as if he's talking to a child.
"Huh, well, maybe I have a memory problem too," I say quietly to myself, quickly dabbing away tears that are threatening to fall.
"C'mon Piper, I'll cheer you up!" he says enthusiastically.
I have the best night I've had in a while. We drink, we laugh but most importantly, I forget. The fact that my terminally ill wife has just kicked me out of our home no longer feels that important. John is funny, a good listener and kind of handsome. He's the kind of guy, I decide, that I would go for if I wasn't married. We carry on drinking until midnight until he announces he has to leave. I feel quite upset that my new best friend has to leave until he kisses me. And I kiss him back.
"What the fuck?!" I exclaim in disbelief, staring at him in horror.
"I'm so sorry, I just assumed that that's what you wanted," he looks guilty, and I feel upset that I've lead him on.
"I'm married," I say softly, holding up my wedding ring for him to see. "I shouldn't have talked to you, I'm really sorry," I put my hands on my face and cry loudly, attracting a few glares from other customers.
"Shhh, it's OK, we still had fun though right?" he half smiles at me.
"We did, but I have to go," I stand up and then promptly fall back down, which results in me crying again.
"Hey, how about I call you a taxi?" he asks, "At least then I'll know you got home safe?"
"Thank you so much," I say "It means a lot that you didn't take advantage," I blurt out, my foot in mouth disease striking again. We both awkwardly walk outside in silence.
Luckily, he sees the funny side of it. "You're welcome, although it makes me sad to think that I had to be thanked for not raping you," he sighs.
"Yah well, just keep doing your…thing. I'm sure you'll get a girlfriend eventually" I smile widely at him.
"Great dating advice, I'll bear it in mind," he says sarcastically, "Anyway, here's your taxi. At least give me your number so I can make sure you got back OK?" he looks at me with hopeful eyes.
"I don't think that's very…wise. Thank you again though, for everything." I say as clearly as possible.
"No worries, safe journey." He waves as I give the taxi driver Nicky's address, fully intending on telling her everything so that at least someone can help Alex.
We arrive at the hospital, and are informed that Alex has had her stomach pumped and that she's receiving treatment for a concussion.
"You can go in if you like," a nurse says warmly to us.
"You go on Pipe, I'l wait outside," Nicky says, sitting down with a coffee. "Nothing quite like pissy coffee and the smell of bleach to put your mind at rest," she says jokingly.
"Thank you Nicky" I whisper.
"No problem, you two need to sort your shit out, I'll just be outside if you need me," she says smiling at me. It's probably the first time I've ever witnessed Nicky acting like a normal human being in my life.
I step through into Alex's room, trepidation flowing though me just like when Alex was first diagnosed.
"Hey kid," she rasps. I feel sick at myself for not knowing whether she'll recognise me.
"Hey…how are you?" I respond, not knowing if it was a stupid question or not.
"Never better," Alex says sarcastically and gently slaps my arm. "Look, I'm not gonna beat around the bush, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to hurt you," she nervously adjusts her glasses.
"I know," I say to her, "I'm sorry for walking out," I take her hand and start playing with her fingers.
"I know my track record is shit, I'm the master of handling things completely wrong,' she lets out a low laugh, "But I really do love you, and I want us to get through this," once again, I'm struck at how vulnerable she looks. She is attached to loads of wires and there's a big, black bruise near her eye where she hit her head.
"I didn't overdose, I guess I forgot that I'd taken like 9 painkillers before I took the last 4," she laughs nervously, "Trust me to nearly kill myself completely by accident. Maybe you'd have been better off if I had".
"Don't you ever say that. If there's anything these past 24 hours have taught me, it's that I can't live without you. Not again." I say gently to her. She looks at me with sad eyes and lifts me chin up with her hand.
"Well you'd better get used to it kid, I may not die yet but I won't be me in a few months. I'll be like a completely different person." Her eyes go watery but she quickly squeezes them shut. "You know, when I was in middle school I had a massive obsession with butterflies. I used to think they were so beautiful until I learned that they only lived a couple days before dying. I was so upset that I cried to my mum about it," she reminisces, shaking her head at the memory.
"Anyway, she told me that the reason why butterflies were so beautiful was because they had awesome lives. Even though they died pretty quickly, they'd been through all the change of being a caterpillar, then a cocoon and eventually becoming a butterfly. She said it was the tough times that made the butterfly beautiful, and once it had reached it's final stage, it could die in peace." Alex looked at me with tear filled eyes. "I'm not quite at the butterfly stage yet, Pipes. There's still so much I want to do and accomplish."
"So you're in a cocoon?" I laugh out loud, desperately suppressing the massive lump in my throat.
"Yeah, I guess. I want to have an awesome life for as long as possible with you. No more lies or upset anymore." Alex takes both of my hands and holds them. "So, are you in?" she looks at me expectantly.
"I'm in." I say, leaning over and kissing her, memories of the previous night coming back to haunt me.
I will tell her.
Just not yet.
A/N: Don't worry, we will get through Piper's mishaps soon enough, but I feel it's important for her character development so that she can finally 100 percent devote herself to Alex. For those of you who are not familiar with the 'strap on or step out', this was something Taylor once said in an interview. I can't remember which one, but it's on the internet somewhere and it just sticks in my memory.