Hello and welcomes to another Deadpool review. First off I would like to thank Raven34link and I'm still depressed about the taco stand. To the random guest reviewer, you will look forward to it...or you will end up like a uh, um a...peeled banana, yeah thats right. Well you said you liked it though. Today we review episode 4 Mutant crush (Domino had a crush on me, maybe it could be that).
We start off with monster truck. I love monster truck, they are the ultimate man thing well other from explosions and k-wording people. The main attraction is Blob (fudge guy? Wasn't he in weapon X?) a teenager...I love red necks. Someone is watching him pull two cars on high tech binoculars. He manages to burst the trucks tires by standing on the trucks (he did that to me when we went to get tacos in the team x days). Everyone is cheering and then he falls over. People start to laugh. Red head and badger are there (is this a team x reunion I didn't know about? I wonder is fangs is there?)
Fudge guy is going all hulk in the locker room but instead of muscle it is flubber (kind of wishing I used that name now). The principal comes in and fudge guy thinks she is from the circus but instead she is from school (as equally ridiculous). Badger and redhead are walking down the hall when badger smells something. Fudge guy then closes the door with the principle inside (getting weird thoughts now). Opening credits which I am still not in.
Fudge guy is worried about going to school because he thinks he won't fit in. Spoilers: He is fat and will kill the entire school with a single fart. He will not fit in. Fudge guy then goes outside and struggles to read a timetable. He then gets a guy to read it for him but ends up getting called fat. Fudge guy then goes to crush him with lockers but redhead distracts him with herself (smooth). Fudge guy puts the lockers down and they introduce each other (is that college rock in the background?) and then redhead points him to his first lesson (I hear girly love stuff...hang on thats the pizza guy). Then fudge guy makes the most disturbing line ever before cutting to the next scene.
The english teacher with the most boring voice of all time is hanging out reading things (they're to thick to be magazines, what could it be?) and pairing people together. One eye and goth get paired together to do Henry V (is that the one with the wifes or the one who made Thor?) and one eye is not happy about it. Someone makes a joke of goth and then one eye tries to be nice but goth is to much of a badass to be bothered. Apparently she is playing hard to get (hang on so all those girls I hit on are playing hard to get. Damn it) and one eye tells Paul to shut up.
They are in the cafeteria and fudge guy has a cunning trick up his sleeve (probably to use different types of fake moustaches and hats to get more lunches).Catwoman and red head start talking about fudge and apparently he is ok when he isn't destroying lockers (which is funny because the one who fancies catwoman destroyed lockers in a previous episode) which is freaky. Fudge guy pushes people out the lunch queue (if it was taco tuesday I would of used my bazooka on him). Fudge guy doesn't like plates (must be allergic) and he ends up just having random stuff put on there. Meanwhile blue elf and one eye are discussing the play. Apparently they she thinks they tried to kill her and has to be a good actress for a romantic scene (can't they just do macbeth, macbeth is the best one. Macbeth is also perfect for the situation. Actors beware I said it three times). Blue elf wants to be at the rehearsals which makes him and one eye laugh, this then makes fudge guy upset because he thinks its about him.
Fudge guy sits down which makes the table fall over and the food hits the popular kids (food fight, no, real fight, just let me get my swords) and people start laughing plus Duncan thinks he can beat up the guy who nearly crushed him with lockers. Then a food fight breaks out but one guy yells it anyway just because. Catwoman phases away and redhead uses her powers to defend herself.
Fudge guy goes out of control and starts throwing tables (food fight rules #11: One can only throw what is edible to everyone). Redhead falls over and fudge guy goes to crush her. It then goes black with dramatic music to keep me interested. People run away and then one eye uses his powers to destroy the table (food fight rules #18: No using lasers) and redhead tried to calm him down and one eye threatens him. One eye is told to leave and runs into goth. They talk about being there for each other and then the principle arrives and tells them to go to class completely forgetting to ask what was going on in there. One eye then arranges to meet with goth to rehearse.
Redhead starts to talk to fudge guy about controlling himself. She tries to get him to go to the institute and ends up showing him her powers. He then thinks it is good for hurting people. Hang on does fudge guy have a crush on her, well he just stole her bag (well she forgot it) and he gets jealous of redhead and one eye then he tears up a photo plus steps on it because that will help (well one eyes side he steps on he probably has the red head side for something else).
Redhead and her friend then complain about homework but fudge guy appears and asks her out (but is rejected by stuff. Laughing at his rejection). Redhead then goes by herself to talk to fudge guy but he starts hurting her. He drags her off (whilst redhead completely forgets to use her powers). Redhead wants to go home but is being held by fudge guy (persistent sint he) and then she remembers to use her powers and drops cinderblocks on him. The scaffolding falls on both of them knocking redhead unconscious giving fudge guy an idea.
Redhead wakes up tied to a chair in a romantic and gothic house. Fudge guy is there giving the place a Hannibal Lector appearance. Redhead then asks wheels for help whilst the X-men play mutant football. Ha ha catwoman falls over and blue elf falls off a tree. Wheels gets the message and badger goes all for a ride (crossover idea ghostrider/badger) after telling them to assemble the team.
Goth and one eye are rehearsing (a southern/british accent...I like it). Hang on does Rogue have a crush on one eye. Quick call Gambit or Magneto or all the other guys she somehow slept with. Blue elf ruins the moment and goth makes a brother joke (that won't become important in another episode). One eye is angry about red head disappearing and wants to hurt fudge guy. He asks the goth if she saw anything which I think she has and they teleport away.
Badger starts smelling the place looking for a scent. Wheels uses technology to find them and the X-men go looking. It turns out they are in some kind of house like contraption. Fudge guy thinks being strong makes people like them (works for Cable) and has a surprise for her (chuckling because of my dirty mind). Badger finds them at thee old Iron works. He goes in alone after being told to wait for back-up (oh no a cliche...shield the children).
Fudge guy has a record player and badger bursts in and they fight resulting in badger being crushed and redhead nearly escaping. It turns out Badger jumped up instead and jumps down for a noise making battle. Redhead uses her powers to escape whilst fudge guy crushed badger by laying on him. She still hasn't escaped yet (does she want to be rescued?). One eye walks in firing lasers and sounding badass but fudge guy blocks it and throws the two X-men into a motorcycle.
Someone appears and touches one eye (is it me? Why would I touch him?). Fudge guy walks in and is hit by something. Fudge guy throws stuff back but it stops in the air. Apparently no one respects him (He was like that in team X) and redhead is bad because she pretends to be nice. Fudge guy goes to kill her but is stopped by a laser. Oh my Deadpool it is the goth (never saw it coming, to be honest I never realised it was Murphy in Robocop until the end). Goth calls fudge guy a yahoo because that is a genuine insult. Then fudge guy implies she has bad make up (she has the greatest pose ever) and then she touches him after he tries to punch her. Goth throws fudge guy in the air and shoots him (if there was a neck snap I would be creeped out by the creepy coincidence). He runs at her but is shot into the air (pokemon style but you actually see them come down) and lands in the dump where birds laugh at him (or did they say never more...No they did not because that is the wrong bird, idiot).
Goth then puts one eyes visor back on and then he calls her an angel and kate which she instantly saids she is not (is no one going to tell Gambit about this? He will be furious). The goth runs away and badger stops red head from chasing after her because she aint ready. The X-men owe her and one eye puts his hand on redheads shoulder whilst they watch the goth run away (so are they together or what?). Ending credits and I wasn't in the episode. WHY I'M F*****G DEADPOOL, IF ANYONE HAS A CRUSH ON ANYONE IT SHOULD BE ME AND DEATH.
Well I hope you enjoyed this review (they seem to be getting longer every time) and please review or I will cut your head off.