You, yes you. It's me Deadpool and yeah I know I haven't been around for ages but I've been busy. I had to fight Carnage, then become a tree (harder than you think) and then have sex with Domino which was fun even though it lasted eighteen billion hours (or something) which is me on a bad day. So where were we...Oh yes Cauldron part 2. Part 2, what is this a decent book to movie finale (Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Twilight and maybe f*****g Divergent). So let's start to the review. Hang on I need to load it on Youtube...Why is it restricted...Pikachu I blame you (because Digimon is so much better, deal with it losers). I found one now. Begin! Or whatever punctuation.
We start with a catch-up which I need. Bucket head is being himself...Kitty (to go back and change it to Catwoman) with glasses, thank you just thank you. This is a long catch up. Fudge guy flopped on Catwoman. Episode has begun with title sequence (wasn't watching anyway). Good song though.
Hell yeah now we've started. Frogboy is on the beach eating buggs and being sad, brooding like Batman. Blue elf takes his tongue and stretches him out. Magneto or bucket head (need a new name). They're losers, I could have told them that. One eye is talking to wheels and don't act surprised. You knew they had been futuramed or whatever. They talk telepathically and Badger lose a battle (doubt it). Super Stud (yeah I did it) talks to One eye and he agrees to the offer. Bucket head turns out to be Mckellen not Fassbender. Badger and fangs (whatever his name was) start to fight about who belongs by his side. Badger is pushed off the cliff and no time to laugh dude. Hang on, Badger lost a fight, I'm so tweeting this hang on. 'Badger was thrown off a cliff #cute #lol #soccermums he lost a fight'. One of Catwomans special balls which I cannot talk about because of last time has appeared for fangs. Badger wakes up and runs to a convenient helicopter.
The mansion has been trashed and blue lady (whatever I call her) flips to them and acts weird. She's a loser...Ha. Blue Elf calls her mother (plot twist worthy of shamallanyan or whatever). Badger and Blue lady argue and go with the X-men despite not being in charge (dominatrix). They test the X-velocity or whatever s**t thing which isn't my helicopter. Oh it's a VTOL...Still not my helicopter. One eye has a flashback about his parents forcing the two to jump out of the plane (so many tears). The two hold hands and let off the parachute. The plane goes amazing spider man 2 and it turns out One eye was in a coma. Super Stud knows he is a mutant and his foster parents are nice. Bucket head talks about the next step...Did he just stop talking when he walked in. Ah a magic crystal (of course)...Evolution, really? I think superhero steroids. So go through the transformation so they see. At least he offered and he went first (at least he did it). Fangs goes into the magic cauldron (I get it, the title. That's cute). They fly towards the base and they have a plastic VTOL. Frog boy hate flying things that cook. 463 miles away? Good luck with that.
Fangs comes out bigger and did he go in without a shirt. The two decide it is best to go in whilst all the good guys are woken up. They walk into the cauldron but wheels makes him change his mind but oh no it shut. Turns out they belong to Bucket head. The two gain purple outlines and walk out...What do they look like? Hahahahahaahah. They're old oh my god they look like mini-bucket head. This is brilliant. Does he know that Super Stud is going to f**k his daughter? That will be interesting. He takes off his glasses and no rays plus they have fewer emotions. Is that good? Bucket head can't control the plane and Wheels has swag about it.
Dynamic duo (how did badger recognise him? He looks like Bucket head). They shoot down the VTOL and it crashes right by them because convenience like their timing. They are now trapped and the X-men walk out. Blue girl gives a cheesy line (not like weather girls in one of the films. Not Deadpool 1 I think). Badger lets the X-men free whilst Blue lady attacks Bucket head (did I day that, don't want to read). The Blackbird or X-jet is in the observation deck. Fudge guy head buts the cauldron and locker opener breaks stuff because that's what he does. Nice kick Catwoman though. Blue lady dodges flying metal and frog boy helps. She goes into the enhancer with Bucket head following. Badger and Fangs fight whilst Bones and Speedy fight. The Goth just touches him (cop out). Red head and wheels looks for One eye whilst the brotherhood try to escape.
Badger and Fangs fight but wathergirl gets fangs in a tornado and throws him away. The two mini magnetos get annoyed about what happened. Red head tries to talk sense into them but she doesn't want them. There is a line and they jumped over (jumping is fun, I do it a lot). Wheels leaves them and seems like nobody is worried. Is this the end of the summers? Blue girl walks out all fangs like (why did the two become like that and the others became like that?). The two run out but the explosions cause the jet to fall and leave them. They fall off the side and re-enact what happened in the flashback. They shoot the ice which slows them down so they can land in boiling water. The jet fails at picking them up and crashes as the asteroid breaks apart. The two fire everything they have at the astroid which seems to blow it up (lucky). The two turn back to normal because...Convenience. He apologises and Wheels forgives him. Two metal spheres? Really, how did you see that? Super Stud and One eye talk about family or something. Super Stud joins the X-men because it's the motherf*****g X-men.
And that is the end of the episode and series one. I give the episode 4/5 tacos for being a fun episode which showed us a side to a character who is often seen as being a complete t**t. Series 1 I give 4/5 for being a fresh and original version of the X-men despite not having me but series 2 can forgive that right?
''Deadpool. We have just read your reviews. You want to be in it, sure. Come here.'' Kitty said with some scissors.
''What's a dominatrix?'' Jamie asked.
''It's not a bucket!'' Erik yelled.
''Run homme.'' Remy said.
Please say if you want series two. Bye.
''Get him'' The cast scream as Deadpool runs away screaming like a girl and throwing rogues make-up at them.
''That costs loads.'' Rogue screams.
''Then use less, you're pale enough without it.'' Deadpool screams whilst running.
Please say if you want me to do series 2.