Hi munchkins it's me..You're old pal Deadpool. I'm sorry it's been so long but I'm a busy guy who has lots of non-lethal decapitations to hand out. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to do one of my old fashion reviews just for you guys...And maybe the guy on your left, you know...The one with the runny nose (fucking hate that guy). The episode we will be reviewing today is the second episode of the second season...Erm, power surge? I wonder if I'll learn how to fix my electrics.
OK the episode starts with the principle McDouchebag telling us what a fucking team is...Yes...They play like a team because that's WHAT A TEAM DOES! On a rough side note, I just got kicked off my ultimate Frisbee team so I may be a little... WHAT THE HELL? THEY'RE GIVING THE PLAYER AWARD TO RED HEAD BECAUSE OF HOW GREAT THEY ARE AS A TEAM...Weird team but who cares...Fucking table football. Everyone seems to be really happy except Rogue who probably hasn't seen Gambit in a while. Jean starts to hear Rogue being a bitch about Jean and then reads everyone's mind (and Kitty was angry when I looked in her diary!). She eventually loses her cool and the opening credits start...Where everyone is a team...Come on Wade, we can do this...It's just...Bobby will now be the striker and he sucks balls...Literally...The actual table football balls...I rammed them into his throat.
So Jean breaks the award and makes a joke about it which was smooth but then does an oscar speech...Even she got one before Leo. Hedgehog is upset about not being able to skateboard whilst the two least interesting couple go to class (yeah right). One eye comforts Jean..Hang on, didn't I have a name for her...Ginger? Who cares. It turns out one eye didn't get invited to the cool kids party but ends up getting dragged along anyway (poor him). Crazy cat lady and bucket head talk about chemistry which they don't have...At all. Wait...hang on...HANK! HAHAHAHAHA...I just can't, he has glasses. So they make a stink bomb and Scott gets ready for the party whilst cat lady tries to get the stink off her clothes...Temptation to make a dirty joke is overwhelming but avoidable. One eye travels through the mansion and shows us the other douches who live there like olaf the snowman.
The boyfriend kicks a ball out of the window...That's...That was far, I mean it hit Scott outside...Well played. It turns out Rogue and defiantly not English are there and she goes off in a strop. Her friend follows her and thinks she has a thing for Scott (laughing so hard right now). The two testosterone filled guys play table tennis for Jean whilst she reveals to everyone that she has powers by stopping the ball...Wait, nobody noticed, well ok then. redhead and random character #43 talk about their relationship which causes redhead to lose control again (anything to get out of an argument). She then throws one eye off the balcony to his horrible death...Nope, she caught him...Bummer. Ha, he got wet. I swear though, these jokes are weird.
One eye and red head arrive back home in a strop. It turns out Rogue has brought the weird girl home (wa-hey) and she finds out they're all mutants. Rogue bitches about redhead but redhead is big brothering her and boom...Argument. Wheels tries to talk to her about her problems but it doesn't work and she goes to bed.
"Why aren't you using your special name for Rogue mon-ami?" Gambit asked as he played with his cards, he was sat next to Deadpool and was secretly a fan of the show.
"Well..." Deadpool explained.
Deadpool remembered the time he told Rogue about the name he gave her on his review show. She looked at him for a second, raising her eyebrow.
"Stripe? As in the thing from Gremlins?"
"That's right...The Gremlin to be infact, not the cute one though...The nasty, ugly one." Deadpool said. Rogue then waited a second before kicking him in the balls. Deadpool was then lying on the round, wondering if he already made that joke.
The next day the school kids are throwing spears whilst others run round a field, great idea guys! They try to use sticks to jump over a pole and then jump over things without a stick...Such a wide variety of exercises. One eye is knocked over which results in the random guy being forced to shower (well ok then). Red head is having problems with her powers and nearly kills everyone but the mutants use their powers to stop it. She falls unconscious and nobody realises there are super powered teenagers there even though there was a FUCKING LASER! Oh, and Hank might know about mutants but who cares.
Red head is brought home and placed on a table whilst still going X-men 3 all over the place. Wheels accesses her mind to try and help her, maybe even looking somewhere else? But there's an explosion and then another. The X-men start to notice what is happening and form a plan where Rogue gets to bitch slap red head because to help her...And no other reason...At all. The team go to help her and destroy rocks and then get hit by stuff...Oh and skateboarding...Wow. Blue elf teleports Rogue to redhead where she tries to bitchslap her in the most awkward of positions but she fails.
One eye tries to talk her out of it but it turns out she can now speak through Rogue (get her to say redrum or something freaky). He talks her out of it and redhead falls to the table, breaking her back I assume...Wait, that was...When she was breathing...never mind children.
Rogue is then looking out of the window which is when one eye asks her about why she went to slap her. Rogue explains that they're a world apart and red head would do the same so it's ok. Random dude gives a bunch of roses (wa-hey) who then gives them to redhead who just totally friend zones him, I mean that was worse when Daenerys did it to Jorah. She then walks away and that there is our episode. Overall, it wasn't to bad and set up what I assume is the dark phoenix which we will defiantly get to see. Now, I have one thing to take away from this episode which I think you should all consider. When looking through a teenagers head at a party, they will not be thinking about how horrific pineapple pizza is...Not at a party anyway...Just wanted to say. I will give this episode 3/5 chimichangas for being a nice episode which gave us some insight into our characters but focused a lot on red head and one eye but if you ship them, then this is the episode for you. I'm Deadpool and I approve the following message: Bobby Drake sucks table football balls.