Shikamaru
I got up at 11:00 when Naruto crashed into my wall like: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" Then I saw the hole that Naruto made with his face. "Troublesome" I said.
Later I gathered up with my team and I see Choji eating something white. While Ino is being useless. Then I see Kiba running towards Choji.
Kiba screamed: "WHYYYYYYY ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE YOUUU EEEEAAAAAAATING MYYYY DOOOOOOOG!"
Choji: "I'm eating him because I forgot my lunch, and I always wanted to try a hotdog. So I thought that's two birds killed with one stone. Now I want to eat some birds."
*Somewhere in Konoha, 2 birds are sneezing*
The next day Kiba sued Choji as I walk away, because I don't want any trouble. I came across Neji, he is trying to fly?
The next day I went to my date with a random girl in Konoha, her name is 'Figurant No.138'. When I was with my date I felt like I was being watched by somebody like…
*I turned around*
Me: "Sup Temari."
*Temari comes out*
Figurant No.138: "What is going on?"
Me: "I like to know that too."
*Both are looking at Temari*
Temari: "Look a flying pig!"
*Temari runs away*
*Shikamaru and Figurant No.138 are looking at the sky*
The date was a disaster and I am still single.
The day after my date I was watching TV when suddenly there was breaking news: "The first flying pig ever is found!" I turned off my TV and went see Naruto in the hospital, but when I was by his room I looked through the window and saw Sasuke punch Naruto. So I basically ran for my live because if he saw me I was dead.
After Naruto recovered he was gone and he came back with Sasuke, they married. I didn't attend the wedding because I was still single.
A week after they married, Sakura was found dead with her head split like a cake. Her funeral was coming but I didn't go because… I don't know maybe it could be troublesome.