Warning: This chapter, once again a snippet of the torture Ivan puts Gilbert through, contains slight omorashi. Nothing major and no sexual references but if this isn't your thing I advise caution.

This time we are moving ahead again. Yay! So now Gilbert is 15, Ludwig is 10 and I don't know what age Ivan is, let's just say somewhere middle aged and leave it. Over the last few years Ivan had continued to abuse Gilbert and make him believe he is a monster. Ludwig had begun to grow even more curious about what his brother was doing and why he never left his room or played with him anymore. Feeling alone and rejected, he began to invest himself in his studies, sometimes working well past midnight. Gilbert was the same, staying up late to write in his journals or learn everything Ivan had told him to, so as to avoid another beating. Besides, sleep only ever brought nightmares to the minds of the young princes.

"Gilbert." Ludwig called one day, knocking on his brother's door. "Do you want to go play, just for a bit."

The door was flung open violently to reveal Ivan, glaring down at Ludwig.

"I'm sorry but Gilbert doesn't want to see you, do you?" He turned around to look at Gilbert, sitting as his desk. Ludwig hadn't seen his brother in over four years, he looked a bit older. His blue eyes still had little in the way of light and his hair was the same messy blonde it had always been. Though when he looked more closely he could see bags under his brother's eyes, indicating he hadn't been sleeping. His eyes also had a rim of red around them as though he'd been crying.

"Yes, go away Ludwig." He said, no emotion showing in his voice whatsoever. Ludwig's face showed a flash of hurt before he covered it up with a look of indifference.

"Okay, perhaps another time." He said, nodding politely and excusing himself.

As soon as he was gone Ivan shut the door and turned to Gilbert.

"Well done, you said the right thing." He praised. "Now on to the next rule of distribution…"

Gilbert tuned out his teacher for a moment as Ludwig's disappointed expression surfaced in his mind. He hated having to tell his brother to go away but knew that what Ivan had said had been right.

Flashback

"Sir?" Gilbert said one evening.

"Yes demon?" Said Ivan. Gilbert flinched at the word demon but tried to ignore it.

"I've been working really hard lately and I was wondering if I could take a break. I really want to see my bruder."

It seemed like a reasonable thing to ask for. Not to Ivan though. The sharp pain of a slap on Gilbert's cheek was proof of that.

"How dare you. I told you, you were never to leave this room."

"Yes but I—"

"Besides." Ivan's tone suddenly dropped all anger and became taunting. "Why would your brother want to see you."

Gilbert looked up at him, both confused and ever so slightly scared.

"Do you think he'd really love you if he knew what you are?"

Gilbert recoiled sharply as the words hit their mark.

"I often pity him," Ivan continued. "Cursed with a monster as a brother."

Gilbert dropped his head as tears began running down his cheeks.

"You should do him a favour and stay away from him, maybe then he'll realise how unworthy you are to be related to him."

"Yes sir." Gilbert nodded.

Flashback end

Although he thought he was doing his brother a favour by staying out of his way. He still felt guilty thinking of how upset he'd looked.

"FOCUS" Ivan roared, snapping a ruler on Gilbert's desk. He snapped out of his thoughts to look at his guardian's angry face. Knowing it would only get him into more trouble, Gilbert pushed all thoughts of his brother to the back of his mind and focused on his lesson.

So no time skipping this time either, just another story of one of Gilbert's days growing up.

This particular day was a Sunday and that meant Gilbert had no lessons. He was still confined to his room, and Ivan would be in to check on him regularly but otherwise he had a little time to himself. He tended to spend it writing in his journal. He had about ten of them now, he always made sure to record everything, every single detail of his life. He also made certain these books were kept well hidden. The ones he'd already completed were stashed in the secret compartment under his bed, while his current one was in a secret draw in his desk. He couldn't risk Ivan destroying them, or someone else finding them and discovering his secret. He placed his current one on his desk and opened it to a blank page. He began to record last night's events. He kept his ears open the whole time should Ivan suddenly burst in on him.

As soon as he was finished he got up and stretched his legs, it was then that he realised he needed to go to the bathroom, unfortunately that was down the hall and he wasn't allowed to leave his room. Normally he'd ask Ivan who would supervise the trip. It was only five minutes away but any risk of Gilbert being seen, even in his disguise was something the man seemed determined not to risk. Gilbert poked his head out the door and surveyed the area, the corridor was deserted. Deciding he couldn't wait for Ivan to arrive he slipped out, promising himself to be really quick. He crept quietly yet quickly down the hall, trying not to be seen or heard. He just made it to the bathroom door when a sickeningly familiar voice said:

"What do you think you're doing?"

Gilbert turned around to see Ivan stood right behind him. He pressed himself against the door in both fear and surprise.

"I-" He started, but Ivan wasn't having any of it. He grabbed the albino's arm and dragged him back to his room, making sure to pull as roughly as possible. Gilbert didn't complain even though it hurt. He refused to give Ivan that satisfaction. For deep down inside he was a very broken person, he hated himself more than anything, and all the things Ivan did only served to shatter his already splintered heart. He allowed non of it to show on the surface though. He would not appear weak, to anyone, despite all he thought of himself he could not bring himself to get rid of his pride.

"How many times must I tell you!" Ivan yelled. "You must not leave your room!"

He punched Gilbert right across his jaw. The young prince fell to the floor, clutching his mouth in pain.

"I'm sorry, I just really had to go to the bathroom." Gilbert tried to explain.

"I don't care; you do not leave this room without my permission."

Ivan turned to go but Gilbert stopped him.

"Wait, I still need to go."

Ivan faced his head to the side but did not turn round.

"As punishment for leaving without my permission you will remain here until I next return."

He opened the door and left. Gilbert stared in shock, surely he wasn't… A click reached his ears and he realised Ivan had locked him in. No surely he wouldn't be so cruel as to leave him in here when he was so desperate. Unfortunately, the footsteps he heard moving further and further away proved otherwise.

Gilbert sat on his bed for an hour becoming more and more desperate, he rolled around every few seconds unable to shake the horrible feeling. By now it was only his sheer will power keeping him from wetting himself. He refused to do something so childish, if Ivan came back and found him like that it would be too much. He couldn't, no wouldn't allow the man who constantly made his life a living hell see him in such a vulnerable state. He rolled over to the left again but the second he attempted to relax a small spurt of pee seeped into his pants. He gasped and clutched himself trying to stem the flow. Luckily for him he was able to stop it before anything became visible. He realised if he stopped moving he would loose all his control so he got up and began pacing around his room. He tried to keep his mind on other things but it was a big strain. There was never much he could think about. He couldn't think of himself, he hated himself too much. His parents were also a swore subject and the stuff he learnt in his lessons bored him. All he had left was his brother. He tried to focus his mind on Ludwig, remember everything about him and the times the two of them spent together. His thoughts began drifting back to that day in the garden when he had promised to always protect his younger brother. He thought bitterly of how he was doing a horrid job at keeping that promise.

He became so consumed in his thoughts he didn't hear the key turning in the lock of his door until it flew open to reveal the large Russian man behind it.

"Здравствуйте!" (Hello)

Gilbert jumped in surprise, and unfortunately for him that was all it took for him to loose his last ounce of control. His pants began to feel very heavy and damp. At first the relief was nice, then when it struck him that he was pissing himself in front of Ivan he felt very, very embarrassed. Ivan didn't miss the way his entire face turned as red as his eyes, with the paleness of his cheeks it wasn't hard. Gilbert couldn't believe this was happening, he had been worried about Ivan finding him after he'd wet himself but to have him actually witness it. How would he ever live this down… Unable to stand the humiliation any longer he burst into tears and collapsed to the floor, burying his red face in his hands. Ivan didn't say anything for a few minutes, he simply stood and admired the child's distress.

"Pathetic." Was the first word he said. Gilbert looked up at him with big frightened eyes. "Future kings do not cry or wet themselves like babies."

"But it wasn't my fault, you wouldn't-"

"Not your fault!" Ivan thundered. "If you hadn't left your room I would have come in myself and allowed you to leave, but instead you chose to go outside."

Gilbert let loose another sob and kept his face well hidden. Ivan sighed and bent down so they were at eye level.

"You must learn Gilbert," Ivan began, as though lecturing a small child. "That I have rules, and when you break them there are consequences. I'm only thinking of you and your brother, it's my job to care for you two."

Gilbert bit down on another sob and looked up at Ivan with red rimmed, water-stained eyes. It wasn't just the area around his eyes that was red though, while rubbing his tears away he'd also rubbed his contacts off, and they were now smeared across his cheeks. His eyes began watering again as he caught the look of disgust on Ivan's face. The Russian stood up and walked over to the window, looking very serious.

"You know why I don't let you leave here."

Gilbert nodded. "Because I will never be accepted, you are saving me from being ridiculed as a demon."

Ivan nodded. "Not to mention I'm protecting your brother, imagine what people would say about him if they knew he had a demon as a brother." Gilbert hung his head. "Also the embarrassment it would give the kingdom to have a monster for a king."

"Now, you will clean up this mess and not be allowed your dinner tonight." Ivan commanded, then left before Gilbert could protest. He was left alone, still damp and upset. He wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and stood up, suddenly noticing how cold his trousers had gotten. He felt the sting of humiliation return as the memory of wetting himself in front of his guardian/instructor re-surfaced. Unable to stand the feeling anymore, he torn his clothes off and threw them in his laundry basket. He changed into his nightwear and threw himself onto his bed. He began to sob into his pillow as he replayed the day's events in his mind. To him it was all only more proof that he was a worthless monster.

"He's right." Gilbert whispered to himself. "Ludwig does deserve a better brother than me."