Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!
Title: The Ones That Bleed Visibly Hurt The Least
Summary: Connie's first four, real scars. The first is from Pearl; the second, she's gives herself. The third comes from a mission. The fourth; a battlefield. Pearl's hurts, her's is a distant memory, and the third can be soothed with some healing spit. The fourth hurts both inside and out; this is the one she's the most proud of.
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The third scar is more of a battle wound than anything else. She's fourteen.
She won't say she's proud of it, because she isn't. But, in a sense, that's the point.
Remembering the losses is more important than remembering the wins, sometimes.
Connie has been going on missions for awhile now, and she's quite proud of that.
Not the really big ones, obviously. Some things are just too strong for a human, even one that's been trained as well as her. The temperatures are too extreme or the monster is too powerful or the secrets are too secret. Connie isn't bothered by this. Her wish was always to do all that she could, which she is. But what she can't do is everything.
Nevertheless, she's proud of how far she's come. She's proud the gems feel like they can rely on her. She's proud that she's worth something, no matter how small that something really is.
Steven's proud too, although that's probably a silly reason to be giddy. He's always proud of her. He's proud of the sun for rising.
Still. It makes her happy.
"Look out!"
She suddenly finds herself being bodily pitched forward. It'd been a simple mission, just a rogue gem monster, when suddenly a load of rocks came flying towards her.
The thought that'd crossed her mind, ironically enough, wasn't i'm going to die. It was a mixture of I hate hospital bills and my mother is going to kill me.
That says something about her, she's sure, but Connie couldn't tell you what.
Her ears go deaf for a second as the rocks fall to the ground around her. One larger stone cuts her down directly at the knee. The leg is broken.
"Ow." She hisses, swallowing a second scream. She won't deny the first one occurred.
"Ya'll right?"
She squints up at the figure of Amethyst, whose currently holding up their little hole of salvation with her back, using her Purple Puma form. She has no doubt the woman could shrug the rubble away with ease, but is more worried about her staying safe.
"Been better." She mumbles, then winces at how ungrateful that sounds. "You okay?"
"Who, me? I could do this for days." She calmly flexes her shoulders. "That looks like it hurts."
Amethyst nods to her broken knee. Connie is thankful for the lack of light, seeing how they mask the tear tracks on her face.
"It doesn't tickle." She grits out. Her voice is breathy with pain.
"Oh. Uh, don't worry. Once they finish up, they'll come find us." Amethyst looks away; Connie doesn't imagine the (emotional) pain in her voice. "Priorities, y'know?"
A surge of bitterness rose up inside her. It's no one's fault but her own, of course, but it still hurt to know she was left to bleed while the others fought.
"Right." She replies, flatly. "Priorities."
Focus, she tells herself. She's of no help to the gems wallowing in pity. (Looking back on it now, she wonders if those are the exact words that ran through the purple gem's mind as well.)
Review your shortcomings in battle and learn from them, Pearl had taught her once.
Connie reviewed.
She'd been too fast to leap into the fray, for one. She was a defense fighter, yet she'd jumped in almost right after the gems. Her dodging could obviously use some work.
I'm expendable.
She shook the thought away. That's not a shortcoming. Moving on.
She should probably start wearing armor. Any sort of protection would be good, so long as she used it correctly. She would have to ask Pearl about that later.
This is my fault, she admits to herself, shifting her one good leg. Her thoughts are slow to come and quick to go, but she's faring pretty well for a girl with a broken knee. I'm too proud.
Eventually Garnet digs them out. Connie feels incredibly humiliated as the gem hauls her out, but she supposes crawling out wouldn't be any better.
Steven is already waiting for her with a palmful of healing spit. Her knee feels better in an instant, but she blocks him from touching the bleeding wound just under it.
"Leave it."
"But-"
"Scars are cool. Just leave it."
Steven slowly nods and pulls away, helping her to her feet. He holds her hand protectively. "Let's go home."
Connie doesn't hide this scar.
She wears shorts in the summer and swimsuits when they're swimming. She doesn't want to hide it. Quite the opposite; she wants people to notice it and ask. She has to tell the story over and over again.
This is a lesson she can't afford to forget.
Author's Note: So, to be honest, only the second and first chapter are really angsty. This is more action-reaction learning here than anything else.
Only one chapter left!
-Mandaree1