December, 1995
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I haven't been to many weddings in my life. When you are a werewolf who keeps people at a distance, it tends to limit the number of invitations you receive to social events.
Nymphadora changed that aspect of my life. Our relationship doesn't take place in a vacuum or a magic bubble in which only she and I exist—although it is enjoyable to pretend otherwise when we are alone together. Unlike me, she has a large family and many friends, who have somehow become my family and friends too.
Last June, I attended two weddings in a single day. The first ceremony was held in a church in north London. Although I didn't much care for the pomp and ceremony, the vows were touching.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.
The second wedding was held within a circle of standing stones on the Isle of Lewis. Although the joining ceremony was wizard instead of Muggle, the exchange of vows was remarkably similar. The couple came seeking partnership, with all love, honour and sincerity, wishing only to become one, always striving for each other's happiness and welfare.
Thoughts of today's wedding have brought back memories of the past. I cannot help but wonder what vows Lily and James spoke to each other. At that time, I was too stunned to hear that they had chosen to marry on a full moon with only Sirius and the celebrant for witnesses to think about such things.
I remember being pleasantly surprised to receive a dinner invitation. Lily was an excellent cook and it had been weeks since the group of us had spent time together. Over coffee, the new couple announced their marriage. Sirius had burst out laughing when Peter's jaw dropped. He made some joke about a worm catching flies while I smiled dazedly and gave the couple my sincere congratulation.
While I duly admired the photographs Lily showed me, the one that struck me most was the picture that showed the couple smiling ecstatically at each other while Sirius laughed joyously to be a part of their special day.
At that moment, I realised that although the Marauders once claimed to be a band of brothers, kin in spirit if not blood, we had drifted apart, and now only James and Sirius were truly that close. Lily must have sensed my melancholy, for she placed a hand on my arm and said 'you understand why we married in secret, don't you, Remus?'
I assured her that I realised she was a target to any who hated pure-bloods marrying 'beneath them.' All these years later, however, I can see clearly that being excluded hurt, and I put up walls in order to protect myself from feeling more pain.
Reserve led to mistrust, which became an estrangement I thought permanent until the day I saw the name of a 'dead man' on the Marauders Map and knew that Sirius was still the man I had loved like a brother.
A brother who will be the one excluded when Orion Mortimer Black and Lisa Liu speak their vows in a ceremony that states publicly what they have already done privately—become one in spirit and flesh. He will have to wait outside as Snuffles to catch a glimpse of the couple, because anything else is too dangerous.
As for me, in the same manner I did at the other two ceremonies, I will gaze at Nymphadora and say the vows in my heart, although I do not know when I will ever be able to say them in a way that joins us legally as well as emotionally.
The times are too perilous. Anti-werewolf legislation ensures that the wife of a werewolf experiences many of the same restrictions as her husband. I refuse to jeopardise Nymphadora's career for a piece of paper that will not change my feelings one iota.
She is my mate, and always will be. I can be happy with that.
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A/N: HBP story foreshadowing here? Maybe it is...and maybe it is. :D The fabulous people whose reviews last week hopefully foreshadow this weeks' were...♥ 40/16 ♥ adrienne06052 ♥ alix33 ♥ bored2pieces2 ♥ Calenmarwen ♥ ElspethBates ♥ Embellished ♥ Enorance ♥ FNP ♥ Freja Lercke-Falkenborg ♥ GraceRichie ♥ Io. sono. Emilia ♥ ishandtwofourths ♥ Kileaiya ♥ ladyofthebookworms ♥ LolaCherryColaGirl ♥ MollyCoddles ♥ Moontime ♥ n1264 ♥ Nethiel Nessime ♥ Operamuse ♥ potteronpotluvhim ♥ RahNee ♥ rairaichan ♥ remus r us ♥ Slipknot-3113 ♥ Sophia Loren ♥ sunny9847 ♥ and ♥ WriterMerrin ♥
♥Added note: This 'entry' corresponds with chapter 24 of Moonlight and Shadow.