June, 1996

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I had to tell a woman that her lover is gone. I watched her shake her head even as tears filled her eyes.

"Where is he? I need to see him." Cami's words brought tears to my eyes as I told her how Sirius had fallen behind the veil in the Department of Mysteries.

Her anger struck a chord as she railed against the Ministry for having a Death Chamber, for constructing a veil between this life and what lies beyond. Death was a natural part of life, so why did they need to study it? My answer would not comfort so I left it unspoken—that those who ran the Ministry valued potential knowledge over human life.

I almost broke down when her mood shifted into hopefulness. Sirius wasn't dead when he fell behind the veil. It wasn't his time to die. He could come back. After all, he escaped from Azkaban, which no one else had ever done, because Harry needed him. Look at how many people needed him now!

I hated to tell her that Sirius was not the first person to step beyond that veil, that there had been volunteers who deliberately walked through—never to return. I also wanted to believe it was possible.

Sirius was my last boyhood friend, the one who remembered James and Lily and shared my memories of Hogwarts. When he was in Azkaban, like the Sirius shining in the night sky, he wasn't close, but there was comfort in knowing that he was alive, even if I reluctantly believed he had betrayed us all by Imperius or other coercions. During the months that he was in hiding, the Dog Star was a reminder that if Sirius wasn't near, he was at least free.

There was no comfort to be found now that he was forever out of reach.

Cami chose to cling to hope, even as she cried. Sirius didn't volunteer, he didn't go willingly. He would find a way back to her, to Harry. He had so much to live for.

She looked around the room wildly, begging me not to let Kreacher destroy Sirius' things. The books he kept piled on the desk because they were his favourites, the tin soldiers and other childhood toys he had found in the attic. I had to keep them safe.

Gently, I suggested she gather the items Sirius most loved while I fetched a small trunk from the attic. Cami eagerly latched onto the idea of storing the most cherished mementos at her flat and began putting items on the bed.

It reminded me of the time I watched my mother gather my father's things together, saving some and donating others. Every once in awhile, she would stop and clutch something to her chest, shoulders shaking as she contained her grief to silent tears.

As before, I left the room to keep from being overcome by sorrow.

In the attic, a green trunk caught my eye. Sirius had loved those Christmas ornaments. There was another trunk full of them. These wouldn't be missed. I opened the lid. Sirius' few possessions would fit inside, although I might have to shrink a few books.

When I returned with the trunk, I found Cami sitting on the bed, staring down at a couple of photographs. She had bought an Insta-print camera, so she and Sirius could have pictures of each other. She showed me one that was taken at arms length by the man who smiled at his partner before grinning at the camera.

I didn't look closely at Sirius. I couldn't. I looked at the woman who laughed up at him and knew why she clung to hope—because when hope was gone, her heart would break.

It didn't take long to pack the trunk and deliver it to Cami's flat. She hugged me and said that she would visit Tonks tomorrow. Unsaid was that she needed time to cry, time to begin to come to terms with what had happened. She had finished her assignment, visited her lover, only to find that he was gone. There was no chance to say "I love you" one last time.

The blotches that mar this entry are the tears of a man who will have to find a way to tell another woman that Sirius is gone. There is no hope in me that he will return, only the pain of loss.

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A/N: Poor Remus, having to break the news when he's reeling emotionally as well. I'm sad for him but thankful to the readers who took time out of hectic schedules to review the last chapter. ...♥ 40/16 ♥ alix33 ♥ bored2pieces2 ♥ Calenmarwen ♥ ElspethBates ♥ excessivelyperky ♥ Freja Lercke-Falkenborg ♥ GraceRichie ♥ Io. sono. Emilia ♥ ishandtwofourths ♥ ladyofthebookworms ♥ MollyCoddles ♥ Moontime ♥ Nethiel Nessime ♥ Operamuse ♥ Sivaroobini Lupin-Black ♥ Slipknot-3113 ♥ Sophia Loren ♥ sunny9847 ♥ and ♥ worldsapart ♥