Chapter Two

Awake and Alive

"Ray."

Her voice, barely a whisper, penetrated Ray's heart and burned out all the pain and grief he had been through the past two years. He could barely believe he was here, in London, looking into his sister's eyes again.

When he got the phone call, he thought he would never see her again. He could barely stand to talk about her, or look at any photos with her in them. Each time he thought about her, he thought about never seeing her again. Never hearing her laugh, or feeling her lips on his cheek.

Now, almost two years later, here she was. Whole. And as beautiful as ever.

"I'm here, Benny, I'm here. You're okay now. I'm here." Her eyes focused on him, then overflowed with tears. He chalked it up to sadness, and joy from seeing her brother for the first time after being freed. But the next words out of her mouth changed that thought immediately.

"Get me out of here. Please, please, please. You have to get me out of here, Ray. You have to get me out of here, or you have to kill me. Please. Please don't leave me in here. Ray, please!" She pleaded and pleaded with him while his brain tried to catch up. Did she think she was still in Iran, or Iraq or where ever she had been? Surely she didn't mean get her out of the hospital, right?

"Ben, you're safe here. These people are trying to help you. They're only trying to help you heal and-"

"No, you don't understand. It's just as bad here. Here or there, it's all the same. I want to go home Ray, I want to go home. Today. You have to take me home." She begged him, teeth gritted, tears spilling down her cheeks and onto the paper hospital gown they had her wearing. Ray knew then what he had to do.

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Felicity called and called Ray's phone, but he never answered. Eventually, it only went to voicemail. Dead. She had tracked him to the hospital, tracked his credit card statement to a flight to London, and then lost him. He hadn't charged any of his cards since his plane landed last night. She wasn't sure what to do.

She wasn't exactly his girlfriend or anything, but they were more than friends. Did that give her a right to be mad at him for ignoring her? All she knew was that her stomach had been in knots all day. What if something happened to him? Was this somehow related to that stupid suit he built, or his fiancé who was murdered?

"Ugh, I'm being such a girl." Felicity thought. She gathered her belongings, and the rest of the Thai food she ordered for dinner, and headed to Verdant. Checking her phone she saw she had three texts from Roy, and a missed call from Oliver. Hopefully they needed her all night, and possibly all day tomorrow. That way she would have something to take her mind off Ray.

"Hello? Guys?" Felicity walked into the club, but found it empty. She woke up her monitors, and began clicking away, looking for anything to distract her.

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After what seemed like an eternity, I found myself flying first class to a place called Starling City. After the flight attendant assured us it was safe to walk around the cabin, I went to the bathroom, clicking the lock to "occupied". I still had my stupid hospital bracelet on, "Jane Doe." I couldn't get it off, so I used the corner of the metal paper towel dispenser until it snapped. Finally. In the process, I pierced the skin under my wrist and a few droplets of blood found their way to the floor. I watched as the blood congealed and eventually stopped flowing. I felt the same sense of relief, and clarity, that I always did.

I relished in the feeling a few moments longer, then cleaned up and returned to my seat, pulling my sleeve over the wound. Ray had bought be a black sweat suit from the gift shop, and unfortunately the emblem for the hospital was stitched into the pockets in bright yellow thread, mocking me.

"I ordered you some oatmeal, no milk, and a black tea. Did you want anything else? Toast? Maybe some orange juice?"

"No, that sounds great. Thank you." I grabbed Ray's hand and squeezed, wishing I could just stay here, safe with him forever. He smiled down at me, with the look on his face that I knew everyone would be giving me for awhile now. Well, everyone who knew, that is. The look that says, "watch out, she could snap at any moment." "Caution: breakable; damaged." "Use at your own risk." I had to look away.

All I wanted to do was forget. Move on. But I knew, from experience, that it wouldn't work. I can feel the memories, the fear, the pain, all tugging on the sides of my consciousness. Little black wings, just fluttering out of view. Waiting for the most inopportune moment to strike. But for now I will push them away. I will wait until I'm alone to face them.

My breakfast comes, and Ray drinks his coffee black. I wonder if he didn't take his cream because I'm here.

I let myself ponder what else he does differently now, two years later, as I drift into sleep.

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The plane ride home went surprisingly well. Ray tucks Bennett into his bed. She's tired again. Jet lag, probably. Although, he has no idea what time zone she was in, or should be in, so maybe she's just tired after all.

He is worried about her. The look she gets on her face sometimes scares him. It's like she puts a wall up, several walls. Is she hiding something from me, or trying to hide from her own mind? Ray could only imagine the kinds of things she has seen. Horrible things that someone raised like he was couldn't even imagine.

Bennett was always someone who kept her pain inside. Hidden from everyone so as not to harm them, too. She was always worried about others. But this was different. When he did catch himself looking at her, worried, he also saw the way she looked back at him. Hurt. Disappointed. He wasn't sure what to do.

He walked into the kitchen to check his charging phone. Twenty-seven missed calls, seventeen texts, and three hundred and forty-three emails. He set his phone down again, too stressed to know where to start. He checked the calendar and counted the days. He had been gone six days. He counted again, just to be sure. Six days. It felt like a lifetime ago.

He opened his laptop and began ordering clothes, shoes, new bedding. He wanted to make sure Bennett was comfortable. She could buy new things that she wanted later, when she felt like it.

He was just about to finish another order (overnight deliver fee $45.00) when an email popped up from F. Smoak. Ray sighed, realizing his mistake. The credit card.

He walked back to the kitchen, and dialed the number.

She picked up halfway through the first ring.

"Ray?"

"Felicity, it's me. Listen, I'm so sorr-"

"Sorry? You're so sorry? I thought you were dead! Do you get that? You get a phone call, in the middle of a meeting, then run out in a panic, book a flight to London, and then I don't hear from you for six days?"

"I know, I know. I can explain everything. I didn't mean for you to worry."

"Six days, Ray. Did you hear me? Six. Days. I was about to order your casket online. I probably could have gotten a real good deal too. There's probably a Groupon for them now or maybe even a-"

"I have a sister." Felicity was quiet. Ray glanced at his phone to make sure the call hadn't dropped. "Did you hear me?"

"What? I mean yes. Yes, I heard you. I'm just trying to process…you have…a sister? Since when?"

"She had been missing, for two years. I wasn't even sure she was alive. Until I got that phone call. She was at a hospital in London. She's alive, Felicity. And she's here, with me, at home."

"I'm so sorry, Ray. I had no idea. You know how I get. Is she…is okay? I mean obviously she's probably not okay-okay, you know, but she must be doing alright enough if she was able to come home, right?"

"Yeah, yeah she's doing alright. She's…well it's hard to explain. But listen, I have a few things to take care of tonight. But that party you wanted me to go with you to, that's this Saturday, right?"

"Thea's birthday, yes. It's Saturday. At eight. But listen I totally get it if you can't come anymore."

"No no, I want to come still. It's just, is it okay if my sister comes too? I don't want to leave her at home by herself just yet."

"Of course! No problem. I can't wait to meet her."

"Okay. I'll see you there then. Send me the address again, please."

"Will do. Any Ray?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really glad you're okay."

Ray smiled into the phone, and hung up. He checked the calendar one last time. There were three days until Saturday. Three long days until he would see Felicity again. Another lifetime.