The fractured gang also decided to simply not have a New Year's party at all; however, the next occasion for awkwardness came soon after, on Joey's birthday. Ross and Rachel debated whether to send a gift, but they decided that it was better to not risk it.

Joey spent part of the day with his parents and sisters, then he spent the rest at a birthday party at Monica's apartment. The curtains remained drawn on the big window, but this only reminded Joey more of Ross and Rachel being across the street with Emma.

When Monica brought out the cake, Joey blew out the candles and made a wish that Monica and Chandler could love each other and be happy. If only it had a chance of coming true! Joey didn't even have much of an appetite.

Phoebe's gift was another song about Joey's beard, and she tried to cheer him up, saying that men only get more handsome as they age.

Chandler got Joey a present too, even though Joey had insisted that Monica and Chandler save their money for the baby.

"That's why I gave you the money from selling my boat!"

(When he had run off to L.A., Joey thought that he had paid off all his rent and bills, but he had forgot about the Mr. Bowmont, and the fee to keep it anchored at the marina. So when Joey came home after a month and a half, he quickly sold the boat and gave the money to Chandler, because he didn't like Chandler bribing Mr. Treeger in his absence and hiring a detective. Also, the memory of Rachel trying to teach him how to sail the boat was rather bittersweet now, so he didn't want to hang onto it.)

Chandler insisted, "I know, but this doesn't cost much, Joey! Just open it."

So Joey unwrapped the gift and found a video of Die Hard.

Chandler smiled. "Your very own copy. Now you won't have to keep renting it from the video store. It'll save you money!"

"Uh, yeah. Thanks." Joey smiled and hugged him in relief. Chandler had been talking earlier about giving Joey those roller-skate shoes from his advertising agaency. Not only were the shoes too extravagant, but Joey felt a bit too old for them now that he had turned 35.

However, Chandler embraced him rather too long, and Joey feared that Monica might notice and be suspicious.

But even when Phoebe teased them with "Aw... Get a room!" Monica just shrugged and laughed.

Overall, Joey felt oddly out of place in New York. Instead of living at his old apartment, he was staying at his sister Cookie's house. Instead of working at Days of Our Lives, he was auditioning for various movie and TV roles. Instead of hanging out with the whole gang, he only saw three of his old friends anymore. All these drastic changes took some time to get used to.

What Joey couldn't get used to, of course, was the disturbing knowledge that Chandler didn't love his wife and viewed his marriage as nothing more than a convenience, an illusion that they maintained for the sake of their family and friends, and now their baby.

It was disconcerting to watch Chandler's behavior with Monica now, knowing that he was faking every kiss and touch and smile. Knowing that Chandler looked more cheerful than he had in months, not because of the coming baby, but because of Joey. Chandler felt happy and complete now that Joey was back and no longer dating Rachel.

Strangely enough, Joey couldn't tell the difference between Monica's behavior and Chandler's. Was Chandler's acting that good, or Monica's love that insincere? It didn't help that Phoebe continued with her usual jokes about Chandler being gay, Monica being indifferent, and the two of them divorcing in a few years' time. It was so much easier to ignore Phoebe's snide commentary back when Joey was unaware of Chandler's love for him, but now it seemed that Phoebe might be insightful instead of ditzy.

Joey noticed that Monica was obsessively focused on her preparations for the baby, just like she had been with the wedding plans. She couldn't see the big picture and often acted as if Chandler wasn't there, and even if he was, his opinions didn't matter. She was the one who had always dreamed of having babies, so she would be the one to name them and pick their clothes and choose their schools. Both at home and at work, Monica clearly needed to be the boss, controlling every little detail and making everything perfect.

Chandler followed her orders and accepted her neglect, because his heart was never in his marriage. He just did whatever was necessary to please her, then got out of her way.

Surely if things were always this bad, Joey should have seen these unhealthy signs before? Then again, Joey had been blind for six years while his father had a mistress named Ronni, and there was no genuinely happy couple in the gang for him to compare to Monica and Chandler. Ross and Rachel's romance, while intense, had been unstable and fraught with drama. Phoebe also had no long-term relationship until recently. Of the gang, only Monica and Chandler had been together for so long. But if their love was unreal, then Joey had no idea what to believe in anymore.

Would Monica really have married Chandler if she didn't love him? Simply so she could have a baby? Why not get a sperm donor or adopt, if she were that desperate? Joey kept wavering between the hope that Monica wouldn't do such a thing, and the doubt that Chandler had planted in his brain.

As the weeks passed, the original gang of six remained permanently split. The smaller groups diligently avoided each other, as if they lived in parallel worlds. Ross, Rachel, and Emma formed one group, while Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe formed another. However, Monica was too good a hostess to not want to stay involved with both groups.

So, when Monica needed to do various baby things with Phoebe and Rachel, and sometimes get advice from Ross as well, she would send Chandler off to spend time with Joey, to avoid an uncomfortable clash at her apartment. Joey and Chandler would go out to games, walk through the park, or even hang out at Cookie's house with the birds and the kids.

Chandler was careful to never be left alone with the chick and the duck, always complaining of a headache or a nicotine craving whenever Joey started to leave him with them. Joey would take Chandler inside to lie down on the couch.

Once, when they were alone, Joey sat beside him and asked, "Are you sure she never loved you? Not even when--"

Chandler interrupted. "Monica's always been settling for me, Joe. That's why I went along. I didn't know that she wanted you in London, but I sure knew that she was only with me because of that drunk guy at the rehearsal dinner. Otherwise, she'd just brush me off like she did at the beach. She felt low and needed comfort, that's all. So did I, and the sex wasn't bad."

Joey was confused, as both Monica and Chandler had said that the sex was the best sex they ever had. Was it a lie? The kind of things that people said to any lover?

"After London, she was the one who wanted to keep our affair a secret for months; I didn't care either way. First it was 'Let's not make a big deal out of it', then it was 'maybe it's going so good because we're a secret'. I mean, I can take a hint. It's like you said, Joe, she was ashamed of us being together. She wouldn't tell her parents that she was dating me for over a year."

Joey frowned. "But that was because they didn't like you for--"

Chandler dismissed the excuse. "She should have stuck up for me, if she loved me. She told her parents about her and Richard after two weeks of dating him."

Joey sighed. "Maybe she wasn't sure about you back then, but why did she marry you, huh? Why accept your proposal when Richard had just proposed too?"

"Well, did he really want to have kids, or was he just saying what he knew she wanted to hear? He didn't even have a ring, and he hadn't quit smoking either. I was the safe bet then, so she settled for me instead of risking having her heart broken again. Besides, she'd probably stopped believing in soulmates already, no matter what she said in her vows."

Joey shook his head in disbelief. "But how could you do that! How could both of you would fake all that love, and lie to us, and to each other? It's--it's so wrong."

Chandler shrugged. "It was better than being alone. Than just sitting around wishing for stuff that would never happen. This way, she gets the marriage and the babies and the security, and I-I don't have to date your ex-girlfriends just to feel a little closer to you."

Joey remembered Ginger and Kathy and other girlfriends that they'd had in common. He frowned and felt more frustrated than ever.