House sat down at the edge of his bed letting his cane drop to the floor. Taking deep breaths he wiped his bare hand over his stubble.
The last night seemed so surreal. Especially because he was the one who turned up at her door after work. Usually he would have hid from her until it was over, whatever it was.
He'd always thought Stacey was the love of his life, that they would grow old together. And when that bubble burst after his infarction he had sworn he would never let anyone affect him like this again.
But if he had to be honest, Cameron had already had an effect on him even without him noticing it. He cared. A lot.
What was more surprising was that he didn't mind.
But this did not mean this, what ever it was, would work out. It didn't mean that this would be a 'happily ever after' scenario. All it meant was that if they'd go through with it, he'd do her more damage than he had already done.
He had quite a restless night and got up at 7.30, hoping Wilson would still be asleep so he could sneak out to do a tour with his bike to clean his head. But unfortunately his best friend was already sitting on the couch, a cup of coffee in his hands, reading the newspaper.
"Morning"
House grumbled something taking his keys from the top of his piano.
"Where are you going?"
"Taking a tour with the bike,"
"Are you going to decide what to do with Cameron?"
"Sorry?" House wasn't sure he had heard that right.
"Cameron, what are you going to do?"
House shot imaginary daggers of fire towards him, but Wilson seemed to be oblivious to those.
"See you later," House said leaving his condo.
But the tour did not really help him at all. Usually he forgot about everything five minutes into it, but when he passed the city limits his thoughts trailed back to Cameron.
He had kissed her and they had gone way beyond that.
So what did that make them? Where did it leave them? Did she expect something more from him or would she mark it as a one off event, never to be spoken about again?
Why did this whole thing have to be so complicated?
Three hours, an aching leg and a grumbling stomach later he parked his bike back on its designated place in front of his apartment. Wilson was long gone, but when he limped over to the refrigerator he found a note attached over the take-out menus.
'Talk to her' was all it said. House stared at it for a few seconds, sighed and opened the door to pull out the left over from yesterday.
Cameron had spent her weekend with packing the last bits and pieces together, answering some mail and reading some long forgotten medicine journals she had planned to read for a long time.
At 7.45 that night she was having dinner, her last one in Princeton and after a long shower she lay in bed alone at 9.15. So there she lay, eyes wide open, staring at the shadows on the ceiling.
She wasn't sure what exactly kept her awake. On one hand it could be that she was moving tomorrow or the other hand what had happened with House was hanging above her like a giant rain cloud. Maybe it was a mix of both.
House had kissed her.
Something she had wanted for so long something which she had tried to deny whenever Chase or Foreman had brought it up. She had been getting good at her hiding feelings, maybe she had gotten too good, so much so she was even deceiving herself.
It had felt so good that night, to touch him, to feel him.
And yet it had felt somehow wrong.
She had forgotten about Joe, over everything, the one person who she should love more than anything. Who had helped her, who cared about her, always had. But of course she would choose the wrong way; just like all those times before.
It was not until 2 am when she finally was able to fall asleep, her thoughts being replaced by weird dreams about clowns and cakes.
The next day went by pretty quickly, she said goodbye to everyone down at the clinic, in the Immunology Department and some other staff she had worked with closely with during her time at PPTH.
It was about an hour before she would head home to meet Joe and she had to get back to the conference room, all her patients were being taken care of and she had already said goodbye to Cuddy. There were only a few small things to tidy up.
Chase, Foreman and Anna, whom Cuddy had told she would still work for House, were already waiting for her, huge grins on their faces.
They gave her farewell gifts: a leather-bound edition of "The collected works of Emily Dickson", her favourite writer from Chase, the special edition of "Gray's Anatomy" from Foreman and a book about New Haven from Anna.
She would definitely miss them but she was sure all three of them would get along with each other just fine. And even House would get used to Anna, eventually.
She gave them a hug and promised to meet them in the cafeteria in half an hour for a last coffee.
But at first she wanted to say goodbye to someone else.
The doctors left the room, giving her a last 'be careful' look leaving her alone in the room which seemed to be huge now.
The blinds were drawn in House's office, though the lights were on. He had managed to avoid Cameron the whole day, staying in his office or hiding at Wilson's. He did not even allow Cuddy to force him to do clinic duty because she was saying goodbye to the nurses.
Cameron took a few deep breaths and then went over to the door, knocking lightly.
"Busy," she heard his voice responding loudly.
She pondered whether she would say it was her, or if she should just went in anyway. She decided for the latter.
Slowly opening the door, Cameron saw House standing at his book shelve at the back of his office, reading.
"House?"
Now he turned around, obviously surprised that it was her, but quickly catching it and turning back to his book.
"I am here because I wanted to say goodbye," a slight shadow of a smile appeared on her face.
"Right," House put the book back and limped to his desk.
The look he gave her then, even for the tiniest second was telling her so much, again. More than he could ever tell her. But the look was gone as fast as it had appeared.
"Thank you … for everything. It was an honour to work for you, Dr. House," she offered her hand and when he stared at her. It was like two years ago all over again.
But then he took her hand and slowly shook it, still not looking at her for a moment. The gesture lasted for more than she wanted it to, when he suddenly lifted his face and pierced her with his ice-blue eyes.
It took her a while to register that neither of them was moving, but then she tried to pull back her hand but he didn't let go.
"House …" she trailed off when she looked back at him, he was still looking at her, but there it was again in his eyes, the truth.
"Do you want to leave?" he whispered, slowly drawing tiny circles in her palm with his thumb.
"Do you want me to?"
Now he looked away from her, yet still holding her hand.
"Do you want me to stay, House?"
She noticed the tears welling up in her eyes and it took all her composure to hold them back, while she was staring at him.
The next moment her hand was cold; he had let go of it, slowly turning around to the window, his back facing her.
She stared at him, expecting him to do something. But the moments went by and he just stood there. So Cameron stepped nearer, placing her hand on his back,
"I cannot keep on doing this, House. Either ask me to stay or I will leave."
Even through the two layers of fabric he was wearing she could feel his muscles stiffen.
Both were breathing in a slow rhythm.
After another minute or so, she sighed defeated. Slowly she let her hand fall down to her side again and tiny smile appeared on her face.
"It was worth a try, right?"
And with that she left House alone, heading to the conference room where she grabbed her stuff and went to the elevator.
Inside she took a deep breath and rubbed over her face with her palms, she would be okay. She always would be okay … in the end.
Here is chapter 11 and I know the end is kind of mean to let you hang there but I promise chapter 12 will be up in no time.
I hope you still enjoy reading and do not forget comments are love and the only form of criticism I can get