A/N: Thank you so very much for reading and reviewing I appreciate your time and I'll try my hardest not to disappoint. One thing though I am trying to be creative is a drama story so I'm going to twist and turn the characters personalities, knowledge and behavior, things are going to be completely different. I'll definitely be bending and changing things so bare with me. Anyways hopefully you enjoy this chapter will be written in Peeta's POV, The POV will change back and forth. Enjoy.

Chapter 3

Capitol City

(Peeta's POV)

The wooden chair I sit on is hard, uncomfortable and it creeks every time I shift. Annoyance is the only thing that can describe my mood as the sound of a number two pencil scrapping across the white piece of paper that sits on the thick oak wood desk in front of me fills my ears. I cuff my hands and thump my left leg against the ground as Doctor Aurelius remains quiet and focused on his task in front of him. Six long brutal months of having to describe in detail what I went through in the capitol dungeons was enough to make anyone has irritated as I am now. I could still smell the musk and dirt, the walls that were stained with blood streaks from previous prisoners, the screams that echoed the narrow, dark hallways, The screams belonging to Annie and Johanna as they held the both of them down, raped them, beat them, and tormented them. The needles that pierced and pricked my arms as they pumped me full of the green liquid venom that burned through my veins, that had me screaming until my voice went raw and there were no tears left to cry. They destroyed every inch of me, breaking my bones first, pumping me with poison and taking the memories I had of the girl I...Katniss...Everdeen. Every time here names creeps up on me I think of mutts, death, an evil Capitol mutant out to destroy me. I try not to think about Katniss Everdeen and the last time I was in her presence because it gets me confused all over again. I don't know if I hated her or loved her. No, I didn't love her when I fucked her did I? I suddenly feel guilty because the vulgar word 'fuck' crossed my mind.

So many emotions went through my body that night, both negative and positive. How we even got to that point remains a mystery. She was crying her heart and soul out, on her hands and knee begging someone to take her life instead of Prims, cursing me for stopping her from taking her own life. She mourned for her sister for minutes before I finally pitied her enough to pull her into my arms. It was a risky thing to do on my part, but I did it and held her while she sobbed. She is the one that kissed me first. One thing led to another and we had sex, I felt everything from hatred, anger, jealousy, passion, every emotion that you could think of. I had to admit though having sex felt pretty damn good on my part and I now know why my brothers obsessed in doing it all the time.

My life was so fucked up in every way possible that I'm not sure these therapy sessions with Doctor Aurelius would do much good. It's been six months and I still have nothing to hold on to. My memories are scattered, erased, I'm not the same man I once was. The hijacking took everything that made me who I was before and tore it all down, shifting and twisting me into this thing that is nothing but evil and twisted being. Peeta Mellark: The kind-hearted, selfless Baker's son is dead and he is not coming back, ever. Aurelius looks up over the rim on his horn-rimmed frames and sets the pen on the desk beside the paper. He folds his hands and studies me for a second, determination written across his face. This man is determined to help my poorly hijacked soul which is probably beyond help in my opinion, I'm to twisted and scarred.

"How are you feeling today?" Aurelius asks professionally "Any dizziness, vomiting, headaches, Hallucinations, mood swings?"

"No sir, just dreadful nightmares and irritations." I reveal.

"It is wise to control yourself, being over-emotional and temperamental may result in a hijacking episode. I've discovered and learned a lot about your condition in the last couple of months. The venom causes the headaches and irritation, targeting the hypothalamus which is part of your Limbic system. Now there are a couple of things you must be aware of. You Limbic system is a very, very complicated group of brain structures that targets Emotion, Behavior, motivation and memory. Those right there are the main targets of the venom. Your limbic system consists of three parts or structures: the hypothalamus, the amygdala, and the hippocampus each one effected by the venom in different way"

His professional tone is confusing me "So what you're saying is those three brain functions are why I have episodes?"

Dr. Aurelius shakes his head "You have episodes because of the serum the capitol injected you with. The tracker Jacker serum targets those three brain structures: the hypothalamus, the amygdala, and the hippocampus, causing them to become irritated hence the headaches, the vomiting, violent behavior, now you have flash backs because of the long-term and short-term memory functions meaning once the serum is in those three functions they become overwhelmed and start overworking themselves, vulnerability becomes an issue."

"How so?" I ask curiously, his studies now have caught my interest.

"The capitol tied you up, pumped you with the venom therefore irritating your functions that have to do with behavior, emotions, motivations and memory correct?"

I nod.

"Okay now, remember they overwork themselves once the venom hits and irritates the Limbic system. Like I said vulnerability becomes an issue you become exposed to learning new things, feeling new things and reacting appropriately to the situation. The capitol showed you various lies about Katniss Everdeen correct?"

I nod again, feeling shivers race down my spine as he mentions her name.

"They fed you those lies over and over for days, showed you terrible images of her, making her out to be the enemy. Seeing those things over and over finally allows it into your long-term memory therefore edging it into your brain and making you believe it, the Thalamus is responsible for information and the Hippocampus stores in into your memory."

"So I'll always have flashbacks since they are written and stored? I'll always view Katniss as the enemy?"

Aurelius shakes his head "Don't think about that Peeta, there is still so much research to be discovered. There is a way for you to become less violent during the episodes, but for now I'm focusing on the Thalamus, Hippocampus and the amygdala. The Amygdala deals with fear." He taps his finger against the oak table and glances down at his watch on his right wrists, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head as he catches sight of the time. I glance over at the round clock hanging on his blue colored walls, its nearing noon now and my stomach growls. Lunch is sounding more and more interesting that the parts of my brain the venom targets. "I'm going to put you on some sleeping meds, the pill will suppress nightmares and relax your brain."

"Ok when will we meet again?"

Dr. Aurelius thinks for a moment, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and adjusting his glasses "How's Friday sound, gives me more time to research more about the hijacking and the effects it has on the brain."

I scarp the chair against the floor and rise from my sitting position, stretching my arms above my head, hearing the bones in my neck and back crack. Aurelius takes a handful of papers, taps them against the desk to straighten them.

"Can I make a suggestion before you go?"

"Sure"

"Try to contact Katniss Everdeen, talk gently with her, see how you feel. You don't have to go back to 12 or anything, but I think it'll help stop the confusion in your brain"

I sigh heavily " I don't think I can ever face her again" Guilt spreads through my body as images of that passionate night fills my head. She had whispered several times that night that she loved me and was glad I came back to her, I wasn't healthy when we were together and I had murderous thoughts about her with every thrust. I had asked her afterwards if I had hurt her in any way, part of me praying that I did, but she had sighed, smiled into my chest and whispered another 'I love you'. I got scared the next morning and took off, not realizing I'd never get the chance to say goodbye to her after she was shipped back to 12. Will I ever go back to the District that I grew up in? Probably not, only time will tell. Right now I don't think I can handle seeing her right now.

"Is fear holding you back or is it something else" He questions, cuffing his hands on the desk again.

"Something else" I admit.

Aurelius nods his head and checks his watch "Well it will have to be tomorrow then I must end our session here"

I shake hands with the doctor and am on my way. The sun is high in the sky as I pass through the double doors of the large 6 story building. The sun is high in the sky and even though it shines brightly in the afternoon day the temperature is cool and chilly, winter is definitely coming and I have a feeling its going to be a nasty one. The streets are crowded as I make my way down the sidewalk towards the small little coat shop that is about 3 miles down the road from Doctor's Aurelius's building, or as everyone around the city calls it, the psych-ward. It's helping me and that's all that matters, he is trying his damn hardest to figure out what triggers the episodes, how to prevent violence, I'm stuck with the false memories for the rest of my life, but there is still hope that I can get the violent side of the hijacking under control. Once I'm 100% sure that I wont ever lay a hand on her again, then I'll go back to 12 and start over. Would there even be a 'starting over' for us. I haven't seen or heard from her since the night we made love in the Capitol. She went home and I stayed here. I don't regret my choice in getting my head clear and listen to Aurelius use big brain surgeon words while describing the parts of my brain that were injected or effected by the venom.

It hasn't been all bad here in the capitol. When I'm not with Aurelius I am with a small group of Capitol people who I met 6 months ago, people who helped me get around. Who showed me the good places to eat, shop and have fun. I was afraid at first that they might not want to hang out with a mental case that had his mind destroyed and was apart of two hunger games, but they treated me like everyone else. Although a couple of the guys that hung around looked at me like I was a crack-pot, never understanding why their friend Ban Davar ever decided to invite me to hand out. I guess being with them was good for me, Dr. Aurelius did say having a social life would keep my mind from wandering to the dark places, but I still wasn't so sure of some of the people who hung around here.

The coat shop was a 2 store building: the smallest building on the block by far. It had a gray and blue exterior and a sunset yellow interior, there were fur coats that hand in the front window, displayed for passing people. I push the little door open and the bell rang, indicating that someone had just entered. A girl with long brown hair and brown eyes comes dashing from the back, her eyes meet mine for a second and she allows a smile to spread across her face.

"Peeta. How are you?" She asks with a grin.

"Good. Chilly outside, winter is definitely coming."

"How was the doctor date" She teases.

Another girl comes from the back this one having long blonde hair and green eyes and behind her is a man with short spiky black hair and brown eyes. Ban. Ban comes up to me and forms a fist, I form my own and we fist-pump. The blonde girl Byla rolls her eyes and stalks back off into the back of the store. I was never a fan of Byla. She was to stuck up and into herself for my liking. Ban and the little brown-haired girl Mycha were all I needed to socialize with.

"What's up Peet?" Ban asks.

"Nothing much just got done with my appointment, figured I'd stop by since the shop is only a couple of miles down the road from the docs office" I explain.

"Are you getting any better?" Mycha asks hopefully, staring at me with her large chocolate-brown eyes.

Mycha and Ban are the only two capitol people that know the specifics of my torture. It took me a long time to be able to trust them, but in the end it was nice to have someone to talk to besides Aurelius and Effie Trinket who has let me invade her home, given me my own space. Her home was on the outskirts of the city, miles away from here and I'd have to take a bus to get there, the ride being 20 minutes long.

"I'm getting there. still not 100% but progressing. Although I'm kind of tired of hearing these big, medical terms" I smirk. "And the man goes on and on."

"Well we hope for the best and... well we have something we wanted to ask you." Mycha runs a hand through her brown hair and catches Ban's eyes, he gives her a small nod of approval, standing there with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face "We think you should stay here in the capitol with us and your friend Effie. I mean you're doing wonderful here, docs here, and Effie is like a mother to you right? Ban and I really, really like you Peeta. " She emphasizes the 'really, really like' part. My heart sinks to the ground. In a way she is right Effie is like my mother and she treats me wonderfully, although getting up at the ask crack of dawn before the sun rises is kind of annoying, but Effie is a good person and so are these people in front of me.

There was nothing left in District 12 for me, no family, no bakery, no...Katniss. Mixed emotions spread through my body as her name pops into my head. Her gray seam eyes, long black braided hair, that's slung over her left shoulders, her thin body and medium size breast. My mind wanders to inappropriate places. Her olive skin shining in the moonlight with sweat, her deep pants of pleasure as she grips my curls begging me to hold her, to bring her to the edge. Katniss Everdeen the girl on fire, the Mockingjay, the woman I fear, hate, and love all at the same time. Love. Do I love her? I can't say I do and I can't say I don't, all I can say is its complicated.

I shake my head at my friends "I...I...its complicated right now guys. "

Mycha looks down at the ground in disappointment and so does Ban, but his gaze are on his shoes. I appreciate that they care so much about me, but the decision in ever going home again is a touchy one and I'm not ready to face it just yet. I got to get over the fact that Katniss Everdeen consumes my thoughts, is in every inch of my brain and it scares the hell out of me knowing that she could end me with just a snap of her fingers. It got me wondering what she thought of me? Did she hate me for running out on her after we had sex for the first time, did she not think about me at all? Was she helping people rebuild 12 or she could be with Gale who I heard didn't take the fancy job that was offered to him in two. He made sure I knew he was returning to 12 instead of moving to 2. I tried very hard not to hate the man but all the kindness I've showed him has backfired.

"Peeta, What you got going on tonight?" Ban asks.

"Nothing really. Why?"

"Mycha, Byla, Dextox, and a couple of others are going to the new club they just opened, in the heart of the capitol if you want to join us." Ban invites.

"Sure I think it'll be fun." I accept the invitation and Ban punches my shoulder lightly, grinning like a manic, excitement filling his body.

"Awesome dude, I'll see you then, now if you excuse me I have to go see where Byla ran off to." And with that he makes a hasty escape into the back room after the blonde drama queen, leaving me alone with Mycha who is examining every inch of me.

"I'm glad you decided to come with us tonight it'll be fun. There will be food and dancing and socializing, and..." Her voice trails off and blush covers her face "There is something I need to talk to you bout. Something very important"

I cock my head and study her, unsure of what exactly she means by needing to talk to me, and that's when I see it. The same look I used to give Katniss. The same heart-felt, loving look I gave her every time she was near, the look that made my heart burst leap out of my chest. I pray that look Mycha was giving me was a look of friendship and not nothing more.

To be continued...