Chapter 7. The unstaid and the skittish.
One night Patrick and Shelagh were working together late at his office.
Patrick and Patsy were making an application to the Illyria Foundation for an extra research grant for the kangaroo care project. Shelagh had promised to help with the charts and statistics. In the pressure of the deadlines, they had both regressed from biscuits to nicotine gums.
Patrick seemed to think Excel one of the seven wonders in the world when he leafed through the charts and lists Shelagh produced. He had been his loquacious self and talked this and that about the project.
"Patsy said this, and with her help"….
"Patsy has contacted a number of experts" ….
"Surely the hospital should appreciate Patsy's determination…"
Shelagh felt a little tired. Patsy this and Patsy that. Eventually, his torrent of words came to a halt.
After a silence he asked:" Shelagh, can I ask you a question? A sensitive one."
Shelagh's demeanor grew slightly tighter. "Yes, you can."
"Do you think lit likely…how can I word this?"
"Take your time. I am not going anywhere."
"Do you think that…have you ever noticed…about Patsy and Phyllis….I mean, when they are sharing the flat and everything….?"
So he had finally drawn some conclusions. Shelagh felt relieved and nervous at the same time.
"No, I don't think Patsy and Phyllis are lovers. I don't think they ever have been."
Patrick watched her with a mixture of relief and discomfort. "You are such a good person to talk with, Shelagh. Straight to the point." He smiled. "No pun intended."
Shelagh drew a breath. Better to be up to the measure. "But I think Patsy might be lesbian. If that is what you are asking."
It was kind of hard to see hopes crashing in his eyes. He swallowed. "I won't take my words back. It is good that you talk so straight. But…what's the deal then…with Phyllis?"
"I think Phyllis is a flat-mate and a friend. Phyllis is a grand old spinster, as she herself says. As I will be some day."
Patrick looked at her, with dismay. "Phyllis is a great woman. You could be as good a nurse as she, if you decided to move on to nursing. But a spinster? Is that really how you see yourself?"
Although there was some bittersweet pleasure in seeing his disconcert, the topic was too tender. "Yes, I do."She bit her lip. "Isn't it time you take a good look at yourself, Patrick? Face some home truths. Who are you, then? Here you are, a middle-aged man, a father, a widower, sharing nicotine or biscuits with…whom? Your soul mate in quitting smoking?"
That seemed to shake his balance. He gave her a painful look. "Have I somehow…unintentionally, I must say...hurt you?".
Shelagh stood up, took the gum out and put it in the bin. "No, doc. I am all right. I will finish those charts when I am a little less tired. I have to go home. Bye."
"Oh, take the lady away! for she's a fool" she snapped at herself while running down the staircase. "I know not what this is, and fear to find."