A/H :D I love you guys, 85 reviews I just wanted to thank everyone that has been reading this. You all motivate me with your lovely words and I appreciate you guys taking the time to read this and leave comments :) I love the reviews. How many of you saw Mockingjay? I did and it was in my opinion was incredibly I cant wait till part 2, I found it heartbreaking the way he wrapped his hands around her neck :(, Katniss and Peeta are my all time favorite couple. This chapter is kind of fluffy is you ask me, but dont worry we will see some action soon. Anyway I'll let you all read the next chapter please enjoy and if you wanna Review. Thank you.

Chapter 15

Alone in the night

(Peeta's POV)

The cold winds whips across my face as Haymitch and I hike through the frosty landscape that is Katniss's backyard, carrying three large logs. The wind howls as the snow covers the entire yard in a thin white coat. I shiver and focus on lunging these heavy, cold logs up the front porch and into her house. The snow storm was certainly going to be a bad one and I wanted to make sure we were prepared for the worst, and it was a good thing the Capitol shipment came in this afternoon, right after we tried calling Paylor for the third then fourth time, failing miserably. I had a bad feeling and usually those bad feelings are right, She might have the baby here, in District 12 instead of 4, its something I'm hoping doesn't happen because of the condition of the District, but if it does happen we have to make her as comfortable as possible. We already had newborn diapers Effie sent us, formula, baby blankets, cups, Effie even went as far as buying us a 400 dollar changing table, I was about ready to kill her for that one. All we needed now was the crib and I took it under my wing to start building one from scratch and hopefully surprise Katniss with it once it's finished. Haymitch has helped me plenty by providing instructions and details on how to build a crib. I never knew the power of technology could be so useful.

The Capitol and District 3 tech-heads have sent up an internet system that spreads through every corner of Panem, giving people information on just about everything and anything that needs to be done. Although Katniss has an computer in the upstairs study room she never uses it, she hates going in that room and it's because it's the room she and president Snow had a conversation in, it's almost like that room is tainted by the sheer memory of him and you can almost smell the bloody roses as soon as you enter the room. She wasn't ready to deal with that room yet, just like I wasn't ready to deal with the hurtful truth that I still had a lot of work to do. I needed to come to except the fact that I was still hijacked and dangerous, and by sleeping next to her and kissing her lips whenever she wanted me to was a risk that I really didn't want to take. I still wasn't right in the head, I'll never be right in the head, what they did to mean was something I would never wish on my worst enemy.

The blades that would cut deep into my skin as I refused to answer any of their questions was only the beginning, screams belonging to my friends filled my ears as the peacekeepers beat them, raped them and starved them. I shiver, not wanting to think about my time in the Capitol prison, thinking about it causes fear to spread through my body and Dr. Aurelius says fear, anger and love is the number on cause of my episodes. I've been doing okay so far since I came back the only real frightening thoughts I had were with Gale, but I fought it off and I'll continue to fight it off and make myself better for my family's sake.

"It's fucking freezing out here" Haymitch shivers as we hike up the porch stairs, pulling the door open and throwing the logs into the pile by the wall. Lynn and Katniss are sitting by the fireplace, watching the flames crack and eat the wood. They are finally being civil towards each other which is a step in the right direction. I take a moment to examine the content look on Katniss's face before heading back into the snowy landscape to fetch more logs.

The snow was coming down in sheets and it was becoming harder and harder for us to see where we were going. We pick up the last of the logs in the backyard and hike through the snow which is now up to our ankles. I've never been so freezing in my entire life, I just want to curl up in front of the fire next to Katniss and begin working on that memory book she talked about working on. The paper we ordered was here and ready for us to use it.

"Think that idiot wont freeze to death tonight?" Haymitch asks huffing and puffing, obviously not use to the exercise he was getting from carrying the heavy logs from the backyard to the front porch.

"Who?" I ask.

"Gale, He is crashing in an empty lot that probably doesn't have a lot of heat or blankets. I know the guy is a dick, but you really don't want him to freeze to death do you. This is going to be one hell of a snow storm." I consider it for a moment, wondering when Haymitch suddenly became caring and concerned for other people, but in a way he is right, it would be kind of inhumane to leave him out here with no heat or power in the vacant Victor's house. As much as I hate to invite him into the warm house its the right thing to do.

"Is your house stocked with wood and heated?" I question.

"Duh, I ain't no idiot, Besides you think I want to stay in a house with Sweetheart while her hormones are ragging Your nuts. I rather deal with her mother and the annoying boy" Haymitch says heaving the log up into his arms and taking off in the direction of the porch. We stock pile the logs until there is no room left in the pile next to the wall and by that time I'm so frozen that it takes minutes for me to get warmed up. Haymitch on the other hand sets out to find Gale and offer him a nice warm place to stay which is Haymitch's house, I refuse to let him stay here. Her mother takes off a couple of minutes later, leaving Katniss and I alone with each other, but as she goes she shoots me a warning glare that states if you hurt my daughter I'll kill you, I brush it off and hope they will all be warm enough tonight.

"It's really coming down out there huh?" Katniss asks as I take a seat next to her, willing my uneven breath back to normal.

"Sure is, We sleeping down here tonight to keep warm. I could go fetch some blankets and pillows from upstairs."

"Okay we can do that it gets awfully cold upstairs during the winter" She says.

I make several trips upstairs, grabbing as many blankets and pillows as I can find, throwing them into a large pile and allowing Katniss to make a nest for us by the fire. The snow comes down even harder as I make my way towards the wood pile, glancing out into the snowy night, hiking back into the living room I'm kind of shocked to see Katniss sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her body and a large stack on papers on the coffee table, paper that we ordered from District 7, There is pens and pencils scattered, and to my excitement colored-pencils which were very rare to obtain, last time I even touched a colored pencil was when I was under Dr. Aurelius's care. Katniss had her mind-set and was determined to write this memory book. She smiles warmly up at me as soon as I take a seat next to her and examine all the things she has ordered from the Capitol.

"I figured we can work on the book tonight, give us something to do before we go to sleep, that is if your up to it."

"Yeah, I can handle it" I assure her.

I know I still have my issues, where my brain can't tell if a memory is real or not real, but I'm in control now; it's not like how it used to be, in District 13 where all I wanted to do was die, where my mind was so fucked up and confused that I couldn't decide who the enemy was. I went through complete hell and it was a hell that I wish I could forget. I had to bury my torture along with all the horrible thing I have done to people. I was starting over fresh, moving onto a different chapter in my life, a new start: A baby on the way with the girl that I have been in love with for a very long time. I went through hell and back to be with this girl and now that I have her, there is no way in hell that I am going to let her go. I'm holding on tight.

"You know in a way I don't regret getting reaped." I say bluntly.

She gazes up at me, shocked, as if I'm being unbelievable, but it's the truth I don't regret my name being pulled from that glass bow, walking up onto the stage and peering into the eyes of the girl that I have tried to talk to for so long.

"Peeta, how could you say that?" She asks quietly.

"The games brought me to you. Everything that happened brought me to you. I'd do it over and over again if it meant I got to talk to you. To officially meet you, instead of hiding in the shadows and watching you from the distance. I'd lose my leg again for you, I'd go through all that torture and violence if it meant I could be with you." I shift so that I am facing her on the couch, cuffing both sides of her cheeks between my massive hands "Words cannot describe as to how I feel about you, I love you doesn't begin to cover it, it goes deeper than I love you."

"I love you so much" Her voice cracks and big fat tears roll down her face which I use my thumbs to wipe them away "You...you were so beaten, so scared when they brought you back to District 13, so confused and all I wanted to do was take you in my arms, hold you, make the pain that you felt go away, but then you turned out to be different and I felt like my whole world came crashing down on me. Everything that happened to you was because of me and I'll never forgive myself for that"

"Stop, don't blame yourself. What happened to me was nobodies fault except for Snow. I lived. We lived, we're home, we're together and we're in love for real." I have no doubt in my mind that she loves me with a burning passion. I can feel it as her lips find mine and she drives me into a deep kiss that has our lips locked for minutes before we pull away breathless. She suddenly gets up and moves towards the nest of blankets, wiggling her index finger back and forth, beckoning me to follow her. I do and we lay side by side in front of the fireplace. The start of the memory book is completely forgotten.

She leans forward and connects our lips against, running the tips of her fingers through my hair, pulling me as close as she can get me. I devour her lips as we kiss with equal passion, its not until she moves her hands from my hair to the hem of my shirt, intent of bringing it up over my head, Do I stop her and pull back from our kissing, sadly not ready to stop devouring her mouth. I hate rejecting her, but for now it's for the best, for her safety.

"Please" She begs and pecks me once, twice, three times before pushing my shirt up to my chest. She manages to rid me of my shirt as my thoughts distracted me and soon I realize that I am slightly hovering over her. She lays on her back, both her hands palming my exposed skin, tracing the scars on my back as delicately as she can, placing tender kisses against my skin.

"Please Peeta, Try. You wont hurt me"

"Katniss" I warn as she begins dropping tiny kisses against my neck, jaw line, chin, anywhere she can get. It's getting harder and harder to focus and to reject her. She reattached our lips, her fingers trace up and down my spine as she kisses me.I cant pull away I'm finding it harder and harder to resit her, my mind is flying from one thought to the other, Should I give into her and try to do this right here in front of the fireplace. It's certainly a bad idea because of the baby inside her, are we allowed to do stuff like this while she was pregnant. I don't know anything about parenting I'm more experienced in the killing and talking my way out of situations department. I pull away as gently as I can and shift so I am sitting up now, my face is in my hands. I can't make love to her, not now, not when she is so delicate.

"We should sleep or work on the book" I suggest and she lets out a frustrated sigh, her hands that were perched against my bare skin drops to her side in a defeated way. I get off of her completely, pulling my discard shirt back on my body, hiding my scarred skin from her sight. I sit back down next to her on the couch as soon as I get myself under control. There is a large pile of blankets sheets of paper in front of me, that I pull close. She wants to make a memory book, but I'm not so sure where we should start, the first games probably.

"You want to write and I'll drawl?" I question her, it's obvious that I'm going to be the one drawling the portrait of everyone that we're adding to this book, starting with people that we lost in our first games. The best thing for the two of us to do is start from District 1 and go up until we have reached our District, then move onto the second games, rebellion and so on. Katniss is silent, her lips are in a straight line, her brows are creased and I know she is completely frustrated, but I can't give into her I must have the will power to say no to her. She snatches a piece of paper from the large pile, picking up on of many pens that lay scattered on the coffee table. I watch helpless as she begins quietly scribbling words on the piece of paper. It's like that for several minutes before she hands me the paper so it. She has as expected started with District 1 Marvel and Glimmer. Her words describing Marvel are brief and I know it's hard for her to think about him without having to think of Rue.

"Katniss?"

She looks up at me but doesn't say anything.

"I hate the silence. I know your upset with me but its something we shouldn't do." I explain.

"Why can't we at least try and if it doesn't work out the fine we wont do it until the baby is born and I heal from the labor."

"Do you want me that bad?" I ask with a small smile.

She nods her head "Yes I do, more than you can ever imagine." She admits, "I want you, I missed you so much, Peeta."

She shifts off of the couch and moves to lay down on our nest of blankets in front of the fire, its silent; the only sound that can be heard was the wind whipping outside, causing the trees to sway back and forth in the wind, snow covering every inch of the yard. I pay no attention to the storm ragging outside and focus my gaze on Katniss. She looks beautiful sprawled out on top of the blankets, her baby bump prodding, her hair fanned out against the pillows.

"Can you just come over here and kiss me." She begs.

I lift myself off the couch and curl up next to her on the sea of blankets, as soon as my heads hits the pillow she's in my arms and we are under a large wool blanket, watching the flames crackle and come alive. I drop a couple kisses on her lips, hoping to satisfy the burning need she feels in the bottom of her stomach, no such luck there. She weaves her fingers through my hair, pulling me closely, as close as she can get me. I don't object, just continue kissing her like she wanted me to. Katniss's feels victorious so she goes to pop open a couple of buttons on the front of my shirt, that's when I pull away, even thought It's incredibly hard to do so.

"Stop trying to seduce me" I say gently.

She smiles lightly and gives me a couple more pecks before settling down onto the blankets in disappointment. We are silent the rest of the night I hold her and eventually she falls into a deep, warm, peaceful sleep. I stay awake, watching the flames engulf the wood, listening to the wind blow outside and soon it's not long before I too fall into a deep sleep, as soon as I do nightmares for some odd reason begin to consume me.

To be continued...