Chapter 16

Is it Real

(Peeta's POV)

Snow still falls from the sky the next morning, the fire has long since died, nothing but a pile of ash. I gently pull away from Katniss's grip as quietly and as smoothly as I can, being careful not to wake her from her deep peaceful slumber that she doesn't normally get. Last night was rough on my end considering the fact that I subconsciously fell into a nightmare, I don't know where it came from or why I even had it, but it was there, plaguing my mind in a vicious way and for a split second I wasn't sure what was real and what was not real, that was something that I didn't want to go back to. I've worked so hard to get to where I'm at now I wasn't going back into a world of confusion and nightmares, maybe a call to Dr. Aurelius would do me some good, it couldn't hurt to chat with him for a couple of minutes. Besides, if it weren't for him I would have never been able to control it well enough and come back here, being around Katniss was a risk, but I was willing to take it. I'm glad I've taken the chance with her, but it scared me so much to think that there was still a chance that I could hurt her and that was something I couldn't afford to do, not now while she was pregnant, if I hurt her I hurt the baby. My life is over if I do anything like that, so calling Dr. Aurelius seemed like the best option in this situation, besides they were only nightmares right? It's not like I was falling into an episode, I've controlled them so far and I'll continue to control them.

The room was chilly and cold, only because the fire has long since died sometime during the night. I stretch the soreness out of my limps and make my way over to the logs that lay in a pile by the door, hauling a couple of them into my arms and then hauling them into the fireplace to relight the spark and warm this place up again. Katniss groans in her sleep, turning over so she is facing me, her eyes don't open, her body is completely relaxed. I crouch down beside her and place my lips against hers for a gentle kiss. She moans in her sleep and gently moves her head from side to side a couple of times before opening her grey orbs and staring back at me. A faint, weak smile appears on her face and she lazily leans up to return the good morning kiss. It was only supposed to be brief but thanks to Katniss she decides to wrap her arms around my neck and pull me gently to her, until our bodies are touching and I have no choice but to fall on her or willingly lay on her. I lay on her as gently as I can, being careful not to crush her baby bump. I balance my weight on my arms and hover over her, excitement filling my body as she moves her hands from my hair to my back, sides, anywhere she can get.

I chuckle and pull away "Good morning."

She kisses my jaw-line "Hi, sleep good?"

I give her a small false nod, unwilling to tell her that I've had a nightmare last night, but she knows. There is no lying to her about things like that, she can see the truth in my eyes, see the confused, torture look I get when nightmares occur. She leans up and kisses me again, this time opening her palms and palming my clothed back. I can't keep anything from her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She questions.

I lift myself off of her and stand to my full height, stretching my arms over my head, a large crack echos through the room indicating I've cracked my back and it felt fabulous. I move to place my hands on the mantle by the fireplace and peer into the flames that engulf the wood, turning the once natural brown log into charred black ash. She struggles to lift herself from the nest of blankets, but manages to do it and make her way over to me, placing both her tiny warm hands against my back, giving it a gentle squeeze. I've given up hiding anything from her, how she knows me so well is a complete mystery to me, but she can see me for who I am and she accepts it and that makes my heart leap knowing that there is someone who cares for me in that way. That someone loves me unconditionally to the point they will risk their lives just to be near me knowing that at any minute I could change and they'd be in danger. She doesn't care though, not as much as she should care. Her safety and life means everything to me.

"Talk to me, Peeta. Please." She begs and hugs me from behind, wrapping her arms around my body and placing her hands against my chest. My hands cover hers and I let out a deep sigh, there is no hiding things from her.

"I was back in my cell at the Capitol..."I hesitate to go on, not wanting to relive the moments where I was beaten to a bloody pulp, hearing my friends being raped from the other cells, watching Johanna being dunked into a tank of water until she was on the brink of drowning. If you weren't being tortured in that room then you were watching your friends be tortured. I had to sit there and watch those peacekeepers violate Johanna, Annie and Enobaria. Although I didn't care much for Enobaria I still pitied her greatly because of the fact that she went through complete hell like us and she didn't even know a thing about our plans to escape the arena, neither did I though, but still. She was pretty a Capitol princess if you ask me and they turned around and treated her like an animal. She begged them to let her go, screamed that she didn't know anything, revealed her undying love for the Capitol, but nothing worked They still beat and raped her, even going as far as ripping her filed teeth out of her mouth one by one.

"I just don't know where the nightmare came from last night. I was happy holding you and kissing you, watching you fall asleep, then once I fell asleep...boom back in the Capitol. Katniss I'm in control right? I can't lose it again I just can't, not with you here, not with the baby. I rather go back to Dr. Aurelius's office then hurt you."

Her expression turns into a frown and she bites her lip "You'd leave me alone? You'd stop healing me? This baby needs you, I need you"

"I know and I'm going to be here Katniss, it's just my nightmares are back and it's only a matter of time before my hijacking episodes take hold of me." I turn around to face her, taking her in my arms and hugging her to me, placing nervous kisses against her forehead and then her lips. When our lips part she takes me by the hand and leads me over to the couch, forcing me to sit down while she takes a seat next to me, leaning forward to grab a stack of blanket sheets of paper, laying it in front of me.

"I want you to drawl it out and at the bottom you're going to write real or not real next to it and I'm going to tell you if your right or wrong." She says.

"Okay, but first I think we should shower and get something to eat, call your mother and Haymitch and see if they are doing okay. The snow is coming down pretty good outside and I don't think it has any intentions of letting up anytime soon. There is a possibility we may be snowed in for a couple of days."

Katniss bites her lip nervously "Don't say we're going to be snowed in here. What are you going to do if I go into labor?"

I stare at her horrified at the thought "Katniss that's not funny, if I have to I'll have Haymitch and your mother dare the walk across the street which is probably a good idea considering we'd be a lot warmer if all of us are together."

Katniss frowns "But I want to be alone with you. I want to be with you"

"We were alone and together last night" I remind her with a smile.

She shakes her head "That's not what I meant Peeta. I want to be with you like that"

"Katniss Everdeen: Turned sex fiend" I joke.

"I'm serious Peeta. I want you." She says seriously.

I sigh and rise from the couch, completely ignoring the fact that she is once again trying to seduce me. In a way it's really funny that she wants to have sex that badly with me. I'll settle for blaming it on her pregnancy hormones. She gets up from the couch with me and I hold my arms out for her to come into, she doesn't hesitate and accepts the invitation, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me. We don't say anything as I lead her upstairs to shower, it's chilly up there, but it's bearable and we don't shiver. I run the water hot, but not hot enough to burn our skin. The water feels good against my skin and so does her hands as the run the bar of soap along my back, shoulders, sides and ass. She gives my ass a gentle squeeze and I carefully turn around in the shower to look at her, giving her a warning look. She smirks and her eyes wander to my low region. We kiss, shower and dress, neither on of us saying a word as we make our way downstairs to start on breakfast. I glance out the small window that is above her sink, the snow continues to fall and has no intentions of letting up. The yard is completely covered in a deep layer of snow. I'm wondering just how deep it actually is.

Katniss pulls out eggs, hash browns, bacon, pancake batter, sausage, and leftover bread that I made a couple of days ago. We work together in making a large breakfast and by the time we are done, we have so much food, enough for 5 people. She eats a large amount of eggs, bacon and a large pancake. I cringe as she cakes the pancake in a thin layer of ketchup. I"ll never understand the cravings a woman gets when she is pregnant, but she seems to enjoy it and thinks its good and that's all that matters. We eat until our bellies are about to burst. The breakfast is large, wonderful and wash the dishes, and put the leftovers in the fridge. Katniss goes into the living room, sitting down in front of the large stack of papers from 7, I'm just about to join her when there is a rapid knock on the door. I hurry over towards the front door and fling it open, about to scold the person running around outside in this type of weather. Haymitch stands there freezing his ass off, a gruff look on his frozen face, Katniss's mother stands behind him and behind her is the person I really didn't want to see or to deal with. Gale. I take in their freezing features and then move to the side, allowing them into the warm house.

"Fuck sake this storm is a bitch" Haymitch complains. "It's bad at there boy, We're lucky we didn't lose our way by venturing over here. You don't mind us being here do you? Madam Medusa over here doesn't want Katniss to be alone over here with you" Haymitch says rolling his eyes and stomping out his boots, snow falls from the sole and forms a puddle at the door.

"That's not it" Lynn denies "I'm concern for Katniss is all. It isn't unheard of to go into labor early. Besides idiot here has run out of logs for his fireplace and he barely has any food in his fridge for us. We don't know how long this blizzard is going to last."

"That's fine, you guys can stay as long as he..." I point in Gale's direction, causing him to shoot me a deadly look, "Doesn't start with me"

"I'll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine" Gale replies. They should have left his ass to freeze in the abandon house. I guess that is a harsh thing to say, but it's true I really don't care what happens to Gale at this moment and I don't need him trampling about in this house upsetting Katniss and provoking me, god knows I'd fall into an episode if he tries to fight with me or maybe not I've controlled it during our last two fights so maybe if it happens again I can control it. We all enter the living room, Katniss looks up and smiles at Haymitch, but as soon as she sees Gale and her mother, she frowns, rolls her eyes and rubs the baby.

"What are you two doing here?" She asks with a frown.

"Honey, I was worried about you is all. It's not unheard of for women to go into early labor, I'm not sure how long before this blizzard lets up, but I don't need you two snowed in over here and then you go into labor. Poor Peeta wouldn't know what to do" Lynn explains. She's right I wouldn't know what to do if Katniss went into labor, I couldn't deliver the baby.

"Well there is leftover food in the fridge if you guys are hungry" I offer and Haymitch is the first one to accept a free meal. I watch him rush into the kitchen and rummage through our fridge, Lynn shakes her head and stalks after him, mumbling something about 'poor manners' and for a split second I think of Effie. I miss her terribly and I wonder if she is doing okay, if the Capitol is getting as much snow as we are. Hopefully not because this storm truly is horrible. I turn my attention to Gale who has moved across the living room floor to sit next to Katniss on the couch. She seems irritated by his presence, he talks to her and she only nods at whatever questions he is asking her, her focus is on the paper in front of her. I take another log from the door and make my way into the living room to throw it into the fire, catching the last part of Gale's sentence to her.

"And I'm sorry for everything."

i take a seat next to her on the empty cushion so she is sandwiched between the two of us. Gale narrows his eyes at me, but pays no attention and continues to talk to her, it's almost as if I'm not here at the moment.

"What are you working on?" He asks peering at the page that Katniss is working on.

She doesn't want to talk to him so I answer forward, leaning forward slightly so that I can make eye contact with Gale "We started a memory book, Katniss writes the details about the person and I'll drawl and sketch them, it helps both of us heal."

"That's a real good idea, upset her by making her remember the past" Gale mumbles.

"Don't start because I will throw you out in that blizzard" Katniss threatens "You shouldn't even be over here, they should have left you in that empty house. I'm so pissed off at you for calling that capitol reporter. I never thought that you'd stoop so low and do something that horrible to know how important it was for me to keep this baby a secret, but yet you go and pull a stunt like that and for what? To get back at me for not loving you. I can't force myself and I can't help who I fell in love with."

"I know Katniss, alright." Gale says. "I was so mad at you. I came back to this place for you instead of taking that military job in 2, I wanted to take care of you because you were so important to me and I can't help who I fell in love with. I know I've acted like a total asshole I've changed, we all have changed, We all have been through unimaginable things so don't act like you two are the only ones that have been through horrors. I want to love you Katniss."

"I don't think we should discuss things like that right now" Katniss mumbles and continues to write a large paragraph explaining Glimmer, When she is done she hands the sheet over to me and I begin the outline of the girl from District 1, the determined eyes, her large lips in a tight line, her small nose. I had to admit even though Glimmer was truly a bubble-headed idiot She was a very pretty girl, her long blonde hair tied in two pigtail, her light gray eyes and thin frame. Gale doesn't say anything as he watches us work, he sits there with his back against the couch, eyes glued on Katniss and I can't help but feel jealously bubble up inside me, an urge to rip Katniss away from his poisonous gaze, but I don't say anything I just focus on capturing Glimmer's every detail, and by the time I'm done I've got the drawling just right and even Gale takes his eyes away from Katniss to admire the sketch that I have just finished.

"Impressive" Gale mutters the complement through gritted teeth.

"Thanks" Katniss's tenses at the intense silences that has settled between the three of us. she doesn't says anything, just moves on to the net tribute which will be Glove since we already did Marvel yesterday. This certainly was going to be a long and dreadful day with Gale and her mother in the house, but I know that we are strong enough to get through it, I just hope and pray that we all don't get snowed in together.

To be continued...