Chapter 18

Choices

(Katniss's POV)

The pain in my stomach is excruciating and I find it hard to believe that women are able to go through this more than once. It doesn't take long for the hovercraft to make its landing in what I'm guessing the town square, I'm not aware of my surroundings, the only thing I'm focused on is the sharp pains in my stomach and the sweat that begins to trickle down my forehead. my breathing is out of control and I feel like I'm about to be sick. I can hear my mothers voice telling me to relax but I pay no attention since everything is becoming a blur and my vision becomes blurry. It takes awhile for me to become focused again and Peeta's face is the first thing I see when my vision becomes clear. realization dawns on me as it becomes clear that we are no longer in the house but in the air zooming towards what I only assume as The Capitol. I swear I'm never going to forgive my mother for what she has done to me, what she has put me through and I swear to god I wont lose this baby to her, I wont go down without a fight.

"It hurts" I whine weakly as Peeta drops a kiss to my damp forehead.

"I know I'm right here and I'm not going nowhere." Peeta assures me "I love you"

Words cant describe the amount of pain I was in and soon after what seemed like ages on the hovercraft ; panting like a dog, crying, begging someone to give me morphine for the pain and crushing Peeta's hand until I was sure it was broken; we finally landed. I had no idea where Mother, Gale and Haymitch were. Perhaps they were in a different section of the hovercraft. I didn't know and didn't care I just wanted this child out of me. The medics lifted me off the cool table I had been laying on and onto a stretcher, causing Peeta's hand to slip from mine. I whined and reached out for him, my eyes locked on his deep blue ones. One of the medics gave him a slight shove and I soon realized they were going to let him come anywhere near me.

"Peeta, Peeta" I say his name in panic as the Capitol Medics wheel me off the hovercraft and onto a platform. The cold wind is only brief for it doesn't take no time at all for them to rush me into the building. I'm crying so hard I cant see again, all I want is Peeta and for this baby to get out of me. They rush me down a long hallway poking and priding at me, shoving needles up my arms and giving me a tube across my nose so I can breath.

"Peeta!" I shout tears streaming down my face.

"Miss. Everdeen, please try and relax, your baby and you are in a lot of danger, getting upset like this wont help"

I panic "what's wrong with my baby?" tears are coming down harder now. I knew I wouldn't be able to do this, I kill everything I touch and now my baby was in danger and it was all my fault. It was my fault he was going to be premature and it was my fault there was a chance he may die. The room they wheeled me into was a plain bright, white room. my stomach gave an uneasy turn as the medics started hooking me up to what seemed like thousands of machines, all beeping and making noise.

There was a shout from the hallway and I recognized the voice at once, my heart sank "Let me through right now" Peeta hissed as he tried making his way past the doctors and into the bright room "I'm the father you cant keep me from them. Get out of my way right now"

"Sir, please calm down, we have to operate quickly if we want to save them both. we cant have you in the way"

"I need to be with her, please I am begging you" Peeta pleaded.

"Boy, come with me, Lynn and Gale are in the waiting room" Came Haymitch's voice "We'll figure something out, we need to get you calm and let the doctors fix her up"

Peeta snapped out "I don't even want her alone with these Capitol doctors, they bring nothing but pain." I'm only guessing Peeta turned and pointed a threatening index figure at one of the nurses "You cant keep me out here"

"Sir we will escort you off the property if you do not obey and take a seat in the waiting room" She threatened.

There was a loud shoveling noise, a lot of curse words spewing from Peeta's mouth and then nothing but the sound of doctors rushing around the room, screaming orders at each other. The pain was so bad that I wish I just died, it felt like my stomach was being ripped open and someone was jabbing a bladed knife up my womanhood. I screamed. I cried, I yelled for Peeta, but all they did was ignore me and continue to work between my legs. Getting shot, stabbed, punched, kicked and losing my virginity was nothing compared to the pain that was coursing through my body. my cheeks were burning, sweat dripped from my forehead. I was so worked up and in so much pain that it only took one more scream and thrash before everything went black and I hear the faint sound of the heart monitor going flat line and a doctor saying 'we are losing her'.

I was standing in a field of white roses and standing a few feet away from me was someone that I never wanted to see again, he smiled that vicious smile and raised the white rose that was clutched between his fingers up to his nose. Snow and in that very moment I knew I probably didn't survive the childbirth, that the doctors probably picked the baby instead of me and it was a good thing too. I would give up my life for the baby's any day. I turned my attention back to snow, who was still sneering at me.

"Why are you here?" I ask him with a sneer.

He merely smiles at me "that is a question you have to ask yourself my dear. This is your subconscious after all "

"So I'm not dead?"

"Not yet, but soon you will be and you will join us. Its where you belong, where your destined to be" the field darkened and soon I could see nothing and hear nothing but the sound of my own breathing. The scene changed and my heart sank to the ground as I came face to face with her. She smiled at me, her long blonde hair in two braids instead of one. I hurry towards her letting out a happy sort of cry. Primrose.

"Prim"I cry out in joy "I love you so much little sister" now I knew I was dead, that I didn't survive the childbirth, I knew it was coming anyway, all the stress my mother and Gale put me under, it wasn't good for me. I only hoped the doctors got the baby out of me in time. Her life was only beginning and prayed to god it was a happy and long one. I prayed Peeta would find happiness in his life again. My death was going to be hard on him for awhile, but I knew he was strong enough he could get through it, for our baby.

"I missed you too, Katniss." Prim smiled "we have been waiting for you. Its so nice where we are at I hope one day you can join us"

"I'm ready Prim" I say sadly.

"Are you? I don't think you are. You have to go back, Katniss, you cant leave him or her." She says "you love him too much to leave him"

"I don think I have a choice" I whimper.

"You always have a choice, daughter" I stopped dead in my tracks as a faded image of my long lost father came into view. I didn't think twice as I bolt into his arms hugging him to me and letting the tears flow. Prim joins us in the heart-turning hug and for a moment I forget where I am and I choice I have to make, for the moment I am content in hugging my sister and my father.

To be continued...