Chapter 22

Wide awake

The soft beeping of the machines keeping her alive echo my ears as I sit on the chair next to her bed, rocking Willow back and forth while she sucks on her thumb. Her little head lays against my large shoulder as she is drifts in and out of sleep. Its been three long months since the birth of my daughter and since Katniss went into the coma and chances of her waking up were slim to none, says Lynn, which I think she is full of shit. Katniss was strong. She survived the games, survived a rebellion, there was no way she was going to let childbirth take her. I wasn't going to lose her I had to remain strong and positive. I couldn't shut down if something happened to her, I had Willow to think about now and if I'd shut down and broke down that would be one more excuse for Lynn to take Willow off me. These last couple months all we've been doing is butting heads and I was about sick of it, thoughts of taking Willow back to District 12 and hiding from it all crossed my mind, but I couldn't leave Katniss by herself, she was going to wake up I know she was.

To make matters worse camera's started to gather the streets of the capitol, news of Katniss's arrival leaked out and now all of Panem new she had become pregnant and that she was here in the capitol due to complications from the labor. Everybody wanted to be the first person to catch sight of the Mockingjay's baby, to be the one to get the first photo, but they'd have to get through me first, if one single person put a camera in my daughters face I will snap out. I didn't care if it made me look bad, my daughter was everything to me and one person frightens her or even makes her cry that's it, they are done for.

Willow stirs and whimpers as soon as I quit rocking her. She picks her head up off my shoulder as best she can and peers around curiously. One of The nurses that helped deliver Willow comes strolling in with a cup of coffee for me and a bottle for Willow, she pats the baby gently on the head and sets the cup of coffee down next to me.

"Want me to feed her daddy?" She asks kindly.

I nod my head. I could use a small break. The nurse gently leans down and scoops Willow out of my arms and into hers and that's when Willow starts screaming and taking a fit, it filled my heart with joy at the fact that she hated being lifted from my arms into a strangers. The nurse bounces her up and down, trying her hardest to soothe her, but nothing works . She bites her lip and transfers Willow back into my arms where she instantly stops crying.

The nurse smiles "That baby loves you already, you two already have a strong bond forming." with that said she hikes out of the room with a smile on her face. I offer Willow the bottle which she immediately latches on and starts feeding furiously. I watch in awe as she eats and when she's done I burp her and once again begin rocking her back and forth. The nurse chuckles and exits the room without another glance in our direction. I sit by Katniss's side for another 45 minutes, one hand on The baby supporting her as she sleeps on my chest and the other tucked gently into Katniss's stiff one.

"I'm not going to let you go, Katniss. You know I wont give up on you, follow my voice and come back to me. I love you, baby" I rise to my feet, leaning over and giving her a kiss on the head, exiting her room feeling like my day wouldn't get worse. I hated seeing her, laying there day after day, unable to enjoy life, unable to see or hear her daughter, unable to hold her, and it breaks my heart just thinking that this might be it for her, as much as it tears me apart just thinking about it. As I reached the lobby of the hospital and prepared to use the back door where Effie's personal driver was waiting for us, my day got worse and suddenly bright, burning flashes sparked in front of my face and at least 5 people holding cameras were waiting for me, crowding me.

Nurses flew to the scene, yelling and screaming at the cameramen to get out, that they were unauthorized to be here and that she would call the police, but none were listening to them and three more appeared by my side surrounding me. Willow started screaming her head off, her tiny face turned red and big fat tears rolled down her cheeks as the flashes continued. There was nothing I could do, my hands were on my daughter, shielding her from these cameras so I couldn't tae my hands off her to punch the shit out of these men.

"Peeta, Peeta can I get an interview, one on one" A man scream.

"Hold old is she now?"

"Where is the Mockingjay?"

"Hold her up high so I can get a pose."

By this time the medical teams security busted through the crowd and threated the photographers, said everyone was under arrest for breaking Hospital policy. The scurried away like a bunch of ants, Willow still screamed and cried, burying her tiny head in the crock of my neck, all I could do was rock her, shush her, bounce her up and down soothingly.

"Your ok, your ok" I whisper to her over and over.

"I am so sorry about that I honestly didn't know they would do something like that" The sectary apologized endlessly and sent on of their head of security toe escort Willow and I out safely to our driver, but just as I am about to follow him out towards the back exit of the hospital, a nurse comes flying into the lobby, begging me to wait a second, there is joy written on her face as she bounces up and down.

"Mr. Mellark, you need to get back upstairs immediately, its your wife." Panic spreads through my body, what about her? what was wrong? did she pass? No, the nurse was happy about something, she wouldn't be that vile as to laugh if Katniss flat lined. The next words out of her mouth made my heart leap "She's starting to come too, Mr. Mellark. She's waking up, its seriously a miracle, the mockingjay has so much fight in her" I didn't think twice about abandoning the escort and flying back upstairs to Katniss's hospital room, the nurse on my heels as I took a left then the right, knowing the halls well from being here almost everyday. We burst through the doors, the doctor was leaning over her. checking her pulse, vitals, Katniss's head was moving side to side, her fingers were twitching and I could hear groans coming from her. The doctor moves out of the way and stares at Katniss shocked that she was able to pull through. I take my place next to her with Willow tucked snuggly against my chest, taking one had off the baby, I scoop up Katniss's twitching one, leaning over her, waiting for her to open her gray eyes and gaze upon us, our daughter for the first time.

When her eyes finally did flicker my heart sank "That's it baby come back to me, to us"

"Pe-e-e-t-ta" the words were faint, you could only hear them if you were really close to her. I lean down and kiss Katniss earning a whimpered protest from Willow who had finally stopped screaming her head off the moment the cameras had vanished. I didn't want to think about any of the camera's at the moment because right now all that mattered was Katniss. "P-p-e-e-e-ta"

"I'm right here baby, right here, open your eyes." and she did, her gray orbs stared up at me and tears of joy flew down my face as she gave me a weak smile and then eyed the baby in confusion.

"Peeta?" She says her voice still only a whisper, but no longer cracking "What happened? Where am I?"

"Shh, I'll explain later, but right now there is someone you should meet, someone that is dying to meet her mommy." I peel Willow away from my chest and lay her onto Katniss's, she whimpers but only for a second as soon as Katniss's weak arms engulf her, Willow relaxes and coos. Katniss gazes at the baby and then tears of joy runs down her face as she weakly lifts her head and kisses the baby.

"She is so perfect. Oh god she looks so much like you. I'm serious Peeta holy crap does she look like you" She says excitedly.

"Shh, don't get too excited, take it easy, you just woke up from a 3 month coma." I tell her.

Her eyes nearly bug out from her head "Seriously? 3 months, I've missed three months of her life already. I thought I just went to sleep for a couple hours, that's what it felt like. The last thing I remember is the unbelievable pain that shot through my body and then falling asleep and I think I had a dream, maybe it wasn't a dream. I don't know" She gazes down at the baby and its only then do I realize that Willow isn't screaming her head off like she normally does when she is in someone else arms, She definitely know who her mommy is. I lean over and claim Katniss's lips, she returns the kiss weakly and pulls away after a couple seconds, she is so wrapped up and fascinated with Willow. The baby is her main focus at the moment; as it should be. It take some time and effort but Katniss manages to sit up on her own, the doctor wants her to take it easy and slow, its a pain in the ass how he pops up every couple minutes to check on her, to make sure everything on her is normal. I've been so wrapped up in the excitement of her waking up that I didn't even make an effort to call Effie and Haymitch and tell them the news, so when the doctor comes back in for the thousandth time I ask him very politely if he would call Effie's manor and tell her Katniss was awake, he gently obliged.

"You almost died on me. I thought you would never wake up. I thought you would never get a chance to meet her. I was scared Katniss. I was so ready to be a single father because nobody thought that you would ever wake up. I waited and stayed by your side for three months hoping that you'd wake up and you did. I knew you would. I love you. I truly, deeply love you so much and I'm thankful that you are here and that we are able to get through everything."

"I love you too Peeta, but what are we going to do. I violated my banishment by traveling illegally, my mother wants to take her because she thinks we are too unstable to handle her, but seeing this beautiful baby in my arms who looks so much like her father makes me realize that I will fight for her and I will fight anyone that tries to take her, even if they are my own family. As cruel as that may sound. I'm so happy that I finally get to meet her. Did you name her at all, please tell me you haven't been calling her baby girl for the last three months."

I chuckled at her "No I've been calling her Willow. If you don't like the name I can change it."

Katniss shakes her head multiple times "No, no I love it, better than what I had in mind. Willow Mellark" She grins down at the baby and kisses her.

"Willow Marie Mellark" I corrected.

"I cant wait to go home and start living my life. I honestly don't know why I was so scared of having her, how I never wanted kids to begin with, but look at her, look at how gorgeous she is and now that I'm holding her in my arms for the first time I don't understand how I never wanted her or any kids for that matter. That night we slept together for comfort was the best night of my life Peeta, it gave me her and it gave me hope that one day you would come back to me and be the boy with the bread that I fell in love with and you did, you came back to me. I now know we can overcome anything."

Now is not the time to bring up the incident with the photographers, not when she is still so delicate and so happy right now, the last thing I wanted to do was spoil her happiness by souring her mood. I would tell her when the time was right. Instead I watch her with the baby, cooing her playing with her tiny hands and feet. Willow knows who her mommy is because usually she starts screaming if she is in anyone else but mines arms, but she hasn't made a peep since I've laid her in Katniss's arms. The doctor comes in almost every half hour to check Katniss's vitals, and to make sure her condition doesn't change, he comes to the conclusion that the danger has past and she is in good health the only thing left to do is to remove her stiches and get her up and walking around a bit.

When Willow starts crying that's when Katniss panics and feels like she was doing something wrong. The baby just needed changed and when I told her that she relaxed and asked if she could try and help change the diaper since I obviously have changed every single dirty diaper since her birth. I rejected her gently because it would take her too long to get out of bed and get used to walking again, so instead I have a nurse change a screaming Willow while I prepare to help Katniss stand. Willow screamed extra louder as the nurse whisks her away from us.

Pushing the blankets to the side I offer her my hand which she takes it and together we help her sit up, three months since the last time she walked so its going to take her a bit to adjust. I sit next to her on the empty bed as she sits upright with her feet dangling off to the side.

"Does anyone besides you know I'm awake?" She asks as she plants her bare feet on the cold tiles of the floor.

I shake my head "No It didn't dawn on me, I was just excited that you came too and have been selfish in wanting to spend as much time as possible with you and our daughter"

"I don't know how we are going to manage to get away with me breaking my banishment. A banishment violation punishment can vary depending on the situation. Maybe that was what my mother was hoping for, a strong punishment for me from Paylor in order to get me out of the way. She has serious issues she needs to address and she needs to get her priorities straight. Did she once come visit me at all?"

"A couple times and that's it, she is more concerned with the baby's well being." I answer honestly.

"How about Gale?"

"I haven't really seen much of him. I guess he found something in the capitol that has kept him preoccupied, hopefully he has a change of heart. Honestly Gale is your friend Katniss and he's only acting like a selfish prick because he cares a lot about you, I know he's been visiting you on the days I haven't been. It's nothing but jealous that he is feeling, its making him into something he is not. He loves you too and the fact that we just had a baby together is probably killing him inside, that's why he needs to heal and get past this heartbreak that is driving him to be a prick, but once he is past the jealousy point the two of you can mend your friendship."

I can believe I am saying positive things about the man that put so much stress on her that it forced her to go into early labor and almost die, and as much as it killed to say that she and him needed to patch things up, it was true, having him back to the way he was before the games would do her some good, help her heal. The problem was Gale's personality change, he wasn't the man she knew before the games, but that's who she needed back and it was a long journey to get him back to the way he was, but not impossible. As for me though I truly hate him and he hates me, I don't care that our relationship is bad, the only thing I care about is Katniss's well-being and helping her heal from everything she has been through.

The nurse brings Willow back to us, changed, clean and fed, all Willow did the entire time was scream her head off but the moment the nurse places her in my arms she quits her screaming and lets out soft whimpers, the tears were drying up and Willow flailed her little arms and legs up in the air. Katniss giggled to herself as Willow's frown turned into a smile as she settles in my arms. I loved the fact that she screamed her head off when anyone but Katniss and I held her. Katniss takes her from me gently and places Willow against her chest rocking her back and forth. Willow coos and smiles, taking a fistful of Katniss's hair into her tiny fist.

Nothing could take away the joy I was feeling at that moment, but of course I was wrong as the door to Katniss's hospital room opens and Lynn is the first one to enter followed by Haymitch, Effie and then Gale who looks completely shocked that Katniss is awake and I never told anyone. It wasn't my fault I couldn't help the happiness that spread through my body as the nurses told me she was awake. I didn't think to call everyone and tell her that she was awake.

A look of worry spread across Haymitch's face and he cleared his voice "I'm so glad that you aren't dead sweetheart, but you better heal fast because one you two are all over the news, two Capitol cameras are on a hunt to take photos of your baby and three Paylor has requested a meeting with you. Effie and I told her about your situation, but now that your awake, you got to start healing so we can take care of this shit."

Katniss nods her head multiple times at Haymitch's words and cuts glances in my direction. A deep look of sorrow spreads across her face and I now know the happy reunion her and I had is long over and now it was time to once again deal with these Capitol people and we had nobody to thank but her mother.

To be continued...