AU River and Twelfth Doctor deleted scene
River thinks that the Doctor after what he had seen and learnt may feel differently about her and the Doctor just wants to set the record straight in her mind.
XXX
"You know what the worst thing I found out about you today!
The Doctor said standing by her side as they stared out into the darkness of the night sky.
River just looked ahead to the view, ignoring his presence.
'Never let him see the damage' he thought, he hated that rule of hers.
"Finding that you…."
"My River… would have loved me, even if I could never love you back."
"What a sad life of seeing us" the Doctor said softly.
River's face remained blank but her eyes told another story.
"Thankfully, that's the bigger lie, I can't let you believe much longer!"
"Not with me… I mean this me."
He sighed, when it did no difference to her stance of lack of communication, and gently pulling her chin to face him with his hand.
River still didn't look at him despite his efforts. It was infuriating. So stubborn. He just wanted her to know.
"River look at me" he pleaded, dropping his hand to move down her arm to hold both her hands in his.
He needed her to look him in the eye and believe in him,
Just once...on his feelings.
Her eyes stayed where they were, cast down.
"Please" he continued.
It took a while, but the Doctor needed her too.
When she looked up at him, as it always has, always pierced right through him.
Her eyes always had that pull that made him run away and run toward her, cas it was that strong.
Just like she had when she said about his eyes being so young, the first time he met her.
He bit his lip and closed his eyes "I don't love very well, you know that" he said firmly.
"But you make me want to try, so, so much when I was silly bowtie and baby face" he chuckled half heartily.
She didn't even smile and it hurt him. She was sad, he felt it on her skin.
"I learnt so much then."
"I learnt that again today."
Her eyes searched his.
"I learnt, in whatever universe, in one when I wasn't present…. with you."
"You match me completely."
"It's hard not to fall for you."
"I know, because with this face, I wasn't even sure it still could…"
"And then I saw you, in the snow, removing your dark red hood revealing your wild blonde tresses and seeing that face again"
"Your face."
"You know what it felt like?" he asked her.
"I haven't the faintest idea," River whispered but this time with feeling and dare he think it hope "you tell me."
"Falling in love for the first time" the Doctor said smiling, leaning his forehead against hers, "twice."
XXX
Author's Note:
I adored the episode and I had this in mind and wrote it before I would forget :D feel free to review if you like :)