So this must be what death feels like, Nick thought as he regained consciousness. He sat up slowly, head pounding and stomach churning. The morning light was painful as it pierced through his corneas like fire. He still tasted everything. The whiskey he'd started the night off with, the vodka he moved on to when the whiskey ran dry and whatever concoction he had mixed together before he finally passed out. The combination of which was currently burning a hole in his stomach, and most likely his liver. Still, he'd successfully managed to get through the past however many hours in sweet unconsciousness. So that was something. He checked his phone - 11:30 a.m. He figured he'd probably passed out around 3 a.m. That was eight and a half hours of mind-numbing bliss. Yes, he was starting to understand the drinking habit he'd apparently picked up. The actual getting drunk part wasn't fun; lots of crying and just generally feeling hopeless. But once you push past that bit, there's a few quiet hours in it for you. He was surprised he hadn't dreamt about Zak. He actually didn't remember dreaming about anything which was very unusual. He'd always had extremely vivid dreams and could almost never leave his stress at the door when it was time for bed. After particularly difficult lockdowns, he'd often wake up in the middle of the night sweaty and shaking. Zak would be there, rubbing calming circles along his back as he brought him back to consciousness. God, he was gonna miss that. He already did. Before he could stop himself, he was doubled over, sobs reverberating through his body. He had lot Zak, that much he understood. And that alone was enough to ruin him. And yet he knew that he couldn't go on not knowing why he'd lost him. He sat up, taking deep, ragged breaths as he worked to calm himself. No matter what had happened between them, he deserved an explanation. And he was going to get it. And then he was going to get Zak back.
Nick looked at his phone for the hundredth time as he shrugged his shirt on. He felt significantly less nauseated after washing the alcohol stink from his pores. He looked in the mirror, noticing the puffiness under his bloodshot eyes. So he looked as good as he felt. It was just after noon. Zak was usually awake by noon, right? Nick knew he had to time this right. Catching Zak first thing in the morning wasn't going to get him very far. Zak was never more grumpy than when he had to deal with emotional problems in the morning. But by now, Nick figured he'd already been out for a walk with Gracie and he'd hopefully be feeling generous. He grabbed his phone opting for a text. Zak was more likely to read a text than to answer a call at this point. He hesitated, searching for the right thing to say before he began to type.
I took your advice and slept on it and I still don't remember anything. Can we please meet somewhere to talk? I promise I won't keep you long. I just want to understand what happened.
He took a deep breath and clicked send. He chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at the phone, waiting to see his message marked as read. It happened almost immediately. Zak was never very far from his phone. A new wave of anxiety hit as he waited for Zak to start typing. A minute passed and still nothing. Nick felt a wave of desperation wash over him. He needed to talk to Zak. He needed to see him and be near him. He typed out another quick message.
Please?
He held his breath, waiting for the ellipses to appear. He hoped that Zak wouldn't just ignore him. But if he did, Nick wasn't above calling and begging. He'd gladly show up on Zak's doorstep again if need be. He definitely wasn't worried about Dave. His leg bounced impatiently until he finally saw the little dots dance along the screen. He froze, waiting for the message to come through.
Fine.
Nick's fingers sprung into action before Zak could change his mind.
Thank you so much, Zak. Really. Want to meet at Chase Park? I can be there in 10 minutes.
Nick breathed a sigh of relief. He just needed to talk to Zak, reason with him. And maybe they could get this whole mess figured out. He hoped that he hadn't scared Zak off by mentioning Chase Park. It had been a favorite spot for them for a long time. So many nights when they couldn't sleep, they'd go for late night walks through the park. Just the two of them, hand in hand. Some of Nick's favorite memories happened with Zak in that park. His phone buzzed again and he looked at it nervously.
I'm already here.
Nick jumped up off the bed, frantically searching the room for two matching shoes. He was already there. At their park. Nick couldn't help but hope that this was a sign.