2016, 18th of March

Hello my loyal readers!

Haha I'm late again, so sorry. This time reviews weren't as plenty, was it that bad? D: I certainly hope not...

Anyway! University started again and I'm gonna get this out now so it doesn't come even later and I have time to focus on my studies. This is the last chapter (probably) and I know some might think the ending is abrupt but please bear with me, I wanted an open end that was there to consider your interpretation of the future (and maybe me writing it later? Who knows)

So anyway, I hope you still like it and please tell me if you do because I was really overwhelmed by all your feedback and if this is how the Tolkien Fandom does it I might write more for it ;P Thank you so much for all the reviews, I was seriously sitting here and saying 'awwww thank youuuu' most of my evenings. You guys are awesome and I want you all to feel personally hugged from me. This is the longest chapter to date, I hope it makes up for the wait!

Now, please enjoy!

If my blood wasn't spilled tonight

Chapter 5

After a while, her sobs quieted down gradually. Finally, she managed to get up on shaking legs and rub away the blood from her face, trying not to look at herself again this time. When she was finished, Tauriel took a few calming breathes. By now, it had gotten dark but she didn't know how much time passed exactly. The few steps to the window told her that the moon was high enough for the palace to be asleep by now.

A quick glance at her bed made her ponder if she should maybe rest before doing anything else. On the other hand, the worry and crying fit had made her desire to see Legolas climb even higher. If she made it inside the healing quarters past the guards she could at least sit with him for a while.

Just as she assumed, the palace was empty when she stepped out of her room. Her way to the healing halls was only hindered once, by the guard standing in front of it. But Tauriel was in luck when she saw that the guard was talking to one of the healers in hushed voices, apparently bordering on flirting. Tauriel pursed her lips at this. She was glad she got through, yes, but if she were still in command, that guard would hear a decent scolding for lacking attention on his post.

There were a few healers on the night shift but Tauriel was again successful in avoiding them. She snuck into Legolas' room –or at least where she assumed he was- and closed the door behind her, taking a deep breath. Good. She had made it. A quick glance around the room confirmed that she was alone. This was the room Legolas was often taken to when injured. Not to say it happened that often but when it did, this was where he would stay. Tauriel once heard Thranduil call it the royal healing quarters. At one point, Legolas had even mentioned that this might have been where he was born. But all of that was unimportant now as she gazed upon the figure in the bed, pale and obviously in pain. She swallowed back another wave of tears that threatened to resurface. What was wrong with her? Normally she was the toughest elleth to go around, she had been told so by many of her colleagues and friends. That tears came so easily to her today were not a good sign for her state of mind. Not even considering the state of her body.

With another deep breath, she sat down beside Legolas' bed and took in his pale form in the moonlight. He had been washed and bandaged, the gash in his forehead was covered by a piece of clothing, making his hair free of further bandages. His braids were undone and his hair fell around him in an orderly fashion. Even when deathly injured, Legolas' hair seemed to insist on being flawless. Tauriel smiled at these thoughts and her hand stroked through the soft blonde strands. It was strange, seeing them completely open. If he had them like this he looked more like his father than ever and Tauriel pursed her lips at the thought. As if an act of protest upon this comparison, she took a few strands of his hair and carefully redid the braids he most commonly wore on the side of his head. She couldn't finish them on the back of his skull but the loose strands already made her feel better. The former captain didn't know why a comparison to his father had made her so angry. Maybe because right now she was still mad at the king for how he acted the last few days, no, years. The fights with him had become more frequent and intense as the years went by. Tauriel knew that in a sense, Legolas was a lot like his father. It wasn't just his looks, in some situations, Legolas could be just as stubborn and just as royal, elegant, swift and hotheaded. But what the prince lagged was this pure sense of superiority. This notion that every creature that was not an elf was not as worthy of attention, not worth saving. That they should not act upon their knowledge of the darkness in Dol Gudur that was also the source of their problem with the spiders and orcs. In contrast to Thranduil's coldness, Legolas often still showed his warm and gentle side when not in battle and it reminded her each time that she was not mad at him but at his father, that she should not take her anger out on him when Thranduil deserved it more.

Tauriel's fingers untangled form his hair and she instead grabbed onto his hand closest to her, encircling it with her own. Her eyes closed and she would have very much liked to heal him, help him get better but she had no strength left in herself. Right now, finally by his side and a little at rest because of it, she realized just how tired she was. Without her noticing, she dozed off in her chair just a few minutes later…

With a jolt she awoke and almost screamed when she spotted another elf at the bed, leaning over Legolas. Out of instinct, the former captain wanted to attack but she soon noticed that it was a healer. She recalled her name to be Foneth, she had seen her around on one or two occasions. The young elleth smiled and looked up to Tauriel, who contemplated if she should leave. After all, she was not allowed in here.

"Calm yourself. I will not tell a soul that you are here." The healer assured her in sylvan speak with a quiet voice while undoing the bandages to Legolas' chest. Tauriel tried not to look as she moved her hands around the prince's torso expertly and she also tried not to stare at the muscles there. It was easy though, because her words confused her.

"Why would you do that? The king ordered me to stay away.", she didn't want to bring it up but her curiosity got the better of her. Foneth smiled kindly, glancing at her hand holding Legolas' firmly, even as she had slept.

"That is true. It is also true that I happen to know you two are very close. I would not want to be in the way when you just want to be with him. Or say goodbye." At the last words she finally finished taking off the bandages and Tauriel gasped at the wound underneath. It was an angry red but it was stitched. The healer frowned, apparently not pleased. Suddenly, Tauriel realized what she had said and her panic spiked even further immediately.

"What do you mean, say goodbye? I thought he was healing?" she asked, voice shaking slightly. The healer's gaze was now sad and she shook her head.

"We don't know for certain yet. He has to wake up for us to determine the severity of his head injury and we still don't know if our antidote worked. And now this wound seems slightly infected…" she lay her hand on top of the red gap in Legolas' chest and Tauriel could only watch as the healing flew from her fingertips into his normally so flawless skin. The former captain's eyes widened at these news and she only gripped her prince's hand tighter.

"He can't die.", she whispered, shaking her head in denial. Foneth froze in her movements momentarily, then continued to smear some paste around the prince's wound, then bandaging it with fresh cloth. But she stayed silent, probably not knowing how to comfort Tauriel any further.

"He shouldn't-" she couldn't say it again, her voice dying midway. The healer looked up while wrapping the prince's chest, half holding him up with which Tauriel helped gladly. Holding Legolas was welcome at these news. She tried not to squeeze too hard but she really wanted to stay this way forever.

"I know what you mean." The healer finally said something. She was still young but she had this wisdom in her gaze that Tauriel had noticed from the very start. "The king would not survive his death." She surveyed the former captain's expression at this, which hardened but then she nodded. She was right. As much as Tauriel was mad at Thranduil, she knew that he would never make it through the rest of the year If Legolas died. His actions on Ravenhill and after had proven just that to her. Maybe he buried it but the king clung to his son far more than he liked to admit. Suddenly, Foneth smiled.

"It must be difficult for you especially." She stated, her gaze sympathetic but gentle. Finally, the bandages were finished and Tauriel reluctantly sat the prince back down on the mattress, taking his hand again.

"Why? What do you mean?" the former captain asked innocently, trying to hold back the blood from rushing to her face.

"Oh do not jest. It couldn't be much more obvious." Foneth said with a grin, huffing slightly. "Everyone watching you notices the way you two are around each other." She checked the other bandages around Legolas' body while Tauriel now couldn't hold back her blush any longer. Opening her mouth to protest, the elleth across from interrupted her by giggled slightly.

"Don't worry, I won't tell." She chuckled again and Tauriel closed her mouth, looking down at their intertwined hands and now smiling as well. Maybe the healer was right. After all, she had admitted it to herself during this day many times: Legolas' loss would by far cripple her beyond repair. Not only because of friendship…she had known for quite some time that there was more but she had never dared think about it often, much rather act upon it. In the back of her mind a voice always said that they were just friends, that Legolas was like this with everybody. But then just a few days ago…

"The king knows." She blurted suddenly. Why was she opening up to this stranger so much? Maybe because the room was dark and Foneth seemed to be able to keep her mouth shut from what they had talked about until now. "He…he doesn't approve." A melodic laugh made Tauriel look up.

"Of course he doesn't." Foneth smiled gently, her voice not bitter at all but understanding. "He fears for our ernil in all aspects of his life. I bet he just wanted to make sure you didn't break his heart."

"Me? Breaking his heart? Has Thranduil ever watched his son around any maidens?" Tauriel hissed, leaning forward and Foneth had to suppress her laugh from getting too loud so the guards didn't hear. It was correct though. Through the ages, many maidens had tried to get closer to Legolas. Why would they not? He was a prince, good looking (plainly put, an understatement), well built…but Legolas either never noticed or politely declined any offer ever given to him. The prince had voiced his annoyance to her on many occasions and also the annoyance over his father pressuring him on not declining such offers all of the time. Tauriel now wondered if it was for the same reason she suspected it to be. But Thranduil's comment was not only of concern for his son, she knew that. It also spoke of his concerns about her standing and what a union of the two of them would bear as a statement. Thranduil himself had married a high standing elleth from Lorien, his father Oropher had carefully chosen her amongst a few other sindarin elleths. Oropher had held traditions dearly and it was by now a tradition that the sylvan elves of their realm were ruled by sindarin royalty. Tauriel also knew that Thranduil's statement came from his own father's sense of tradition and that he would much rather have a sindarin bride for his precious son. She tried not to say anything on her opinion on the matter to Foneth though for she was not sure if the healer would understand. But the other elleth pulled her from those bitter thoughts.

"You're right. He is quite the heart breaker." Foneth smirked and both of them suddenly quieted when the prince between them moved in his sleep, a groan of pain escaping his lips when Foneth changed the piece of cloth on his forehead.

"We really should not speak of such things right now.", Tauriel sighed and combed her hand through her own hair with worry on her face. How could she get so carried away over such trivial matters? She was supposed to be by his side, not talk about him and his feelings while he was apparently dying between them. The elleth closed her eyes at this thought, trying to again blink back the tears. Her chin quivered but she took a deep breath and managed to calm herself.

"We will do everything we can.", Foneth assured her suddenly. She was apparently finished with her work, setting everything aside to carry it with her. "Maybe you should go and get some rest. You cannot help him further right now." The healer suggested. But Tauriel shook her head.

"No, I will stay. I want to be there when he wakes." She did not say 'if'. Because in her mind, it was set that he would. There was no other option. Foneth nodded, again that expression of pity and understanding on her face before she bowed in respect and finally left the room.

Tauriel tried to stay awake and react to any movement Legolas made. She wanted to be there for him, tried to coax him into waking with her soothing voice whenever his eyelids stirred but he never reacted. From time to time her gentle hands stroked his hair, she hummed different melodies and just talked to him as if he was awake, her voice quiet but audible. The window behind her flooded the room with moonlight and made the prince's face appear even paler when it shone upon it. Her fingers lingered on his cheek, caressing his smooth skin gently in worry.

"Please…get better soon." She whispered, her own eyelids fluttering from fatigue. And it was not long until she fell asleep in her chair again…

"What in Adar do you think you are doing here?!" a shout startled her awake and this time, it was no gentle awakening. She must have really had a tight sleep for the elven king to have entered the chambers and the sun rising without her even slightly noticing. Tauriel immediately let go of Legolas' hand and stood up. There was no running now.

"I'm-"

"Cease speaking." The coldness of the king's voice cut through her words immediately. "I ordered you to stay away and you disobeyed me. Again." His tone was calm but filled with pure rage. It was the tone she had seen many soldiers cower under. Her instinct was to bow and beg for apology, it was what she was trained to do. But the rebel in her, the one who had tried to stand up to the king ever since she saw how wrong he was, refused to.

"I have every right to be here." She protested. "He is my friend." This only seemed to further the king's anger. His lips set in a hard line and his chest blew.

"Your friend!? Then is it his friendship that made him follow you in the first place instead of listening to my orders? Was it your friendship that got him onto that mountain? Was he fighting that orc almost to his death because you were fighting by his side or was he alone? Is it not your 'friendship' that got him into this whole mess in the first place? Is it not why he is dying?!" he came closer while he talked and Tauriel stood her ground. But the king was at least a head bigger than her and she had to admit that he was intimidating, raging like this and towering over her, his voice booming. Especially if he was partly right. Maybe parts of it were her fault. But the words still made her angry as well and she just simply refused to back down. Maybe Tauriel was just like the two royals in that way.

"How dare you accuse me of making him do anything? Legolas can make his own decisions and it is not my fault that he decided to see reason where you could not-"

"How dare I?! May I remind you-" the king's own interruption was halted when a moan of pain from the bed made them both freeze. There had been guards entering the room upon hearing the heated argument but they stayed back at the door. Tauriel looked at Legolas for the first time since awakening and she felt all the blood drain from his face upon doing so. She almost shoved the king aside to get to the prince, sitting on the bed and feeling his forehead. As indicated by the sheen of sweat present there, he was burning up. Her red mane of hair whirled around.

"Send for a healer. He has a fever.", she ordered one of the guards. The young elf didn't even protest or question her authority. He just nodded and disappeared. The king had suddenly gone quiet. He was pale himself now, staring at his son's flushed face with wide blue eyes. How could he have missed this? It was so obvious and he could have been treated far sooner if he did not blow up at Tauriel this way…the royal took a deep, calming breath and dragged the chair a bit away from the elleth, just to sit on it with resignation. He massaged the bridge of his nose and gazed at Tauriel for a second, his gaze distant but the elleth understood immediately. She wanted to stay by Legolas' side but Thranduil was his father. Even if she wanted to, she could not come between them in this dire situation. So she stepped aside for the king to sit in her place, instead standing in the corner like she would if she was still a soldier.

"Oh no…" came a voice form the door. It was Merilthel and she looked alarmed and hurried. Without halting in the entrance she rushed over to the bed, leaning over the prince and holding her own hand to his forehead, carefully feeling his temperature. Her face turned into a displeased grimace and she began chanting, motioned for one of her subordinates who came in with her to go get some water and towel. The items soon appeared next to the head healer and Merilthel wet the cloth to lay it on top of Legolas' brow. Thranduil tried to catch her gaze, tried to send a silent question without being forced to ask but Merilthel was averting his look on purpose. That couldn't be good.

"What-"

"I can't say, hir-nin. He could have a fever from the wound being infected or it could be him fighting the poison or…I do not know. It depends upon how high it gets and if it will break soon." She finally admitted, interrupting the king's attempt to ask her just that question. The royal nodded, understanding but of course still worried. Merilthel gently handed him the bowl of cold water as well as another towel.

"Change it as soon as it gets warm. Unless you want us to do so?" she asked carefully, considering the possibility that the king had other things to attend to, which was not unlikely. After all, being the ruler of a realm this big, especially after a battle that severe, was no easy task. But Thranduil nodded. He refused to back away from his son's side, especially now. If his son's life depended on him changing a towel, he would much rather do this than paperwork.

"No, I will.", he confirmed and sat the bowl down beside him on the nightstand. From her corner, Tauriel had watched the king during this interaction, glad that his anger had diminished but sympathetic about his worry that was so unusually displayed out in the open. She tried to keep her own panic buried underneath but judging by her shaking hands and misty eyes, she was failing miserably. Slow breathes were supposed to calm her down further but not even the quiet counting to ten or the thought of something else would ease her racing heart. It hammered in her chest as she tried to look at anything but the bed and the sweat on Legolas' forehead. Right now she would have given anything to travel to past lands and fight Bolg together with Legolas. Maybe then this terrible thing would never have happened. Maybe she would have fulfilled her duty in protecting him and be in his stead.

Slowly, after the healers had done what they could and Thranduil sent the guards away without arresting Tauriel, the crowd in the room was dimming. Tauriel debated if she was allowed to stay but given Thranduil's dismissal of the guards, she didn't really know how to react. His back was turned to her and in her restlessness, she really felt like breaking this unbearably silence.

"Hir-nin. I-"

"I am not able to forgive you yet, Tauriel. You know how much I detest disobedience." Thranduil interrupted her with a soft voice but the sharpness of it cut straight through her own words like a knife yet again. Tauriel stiffened but nodded even though her king could not see it with his back turned.

"Ai, hir-nin."

"And you know as well that I cannot let you act as a captain again after all that has happened. After what you said to me. The people will question my treatment of you. There has to be a trial." Tauriel flinched. If she thought about it, maybe it was even a miracle he spoke to her so calmly about this. When she now thought about these harsh words she said, she almost regretted them. Seeing him care for Legolas now, refreshing the cloth on his forehead, stroking a loose hair out of his son's face…how could she not spot the love in him earlier? Deeply buried and enclosed in a cage of protection it was but it had been there all along. In small things.

"About that, hir-nin…" but again, he would not let her finish the sentence.

"I am aware that you are partly right." His statement astonished her so much that Tauriel had to restrain from pinching herself to confirm that this was indeed real. Thranduil Oropherion was admitting….to her!...that she had been right about him. What in the name of the stars was happening?

"I have closed myself off from the world on purpose. The darkness around our palace is closing in slowly and pressing down on me on top of all other things…Sometimes I think I can hear the trees crying in agony." A sigh escaped the royal's lips and Tauriel saw how he sacked in his seat a little further, rubbing his own forehead in a massaging manner.

"Especially after this battle I fear for our people, Tauriel. It is not so much that I just do not care…though I have to admit that dwarfs are still a peculiar thing to me….It is just that as a king of a land not protected by any magic and so close to Dol Gudur that it has been called madness by both our Lorien and Imladris peers, I cannot tolerate anything that would take my soldiers away from their task of protecting this land." Thranduil turned around and his blue eyes bored into her.

"I love this forest very dearly, Tauriel. This is where I married my wife, this is where Legolas was born and no matter what it takes, I do not want to uproot my son from his home just as much as I wouldn't want to with any single one of this forest's trees." A short quiet settled over the room before Thranduil continued. "I have lost my home once by force and Legolas doesn't deserve the same." This time, their silence was even more pregnant before Tauriel nodded slowly, her voice barely a whisper.

"He certainly does not." She confirmed. After all, she herself had lost a home, her family even, in the past. And for Legolas to go through the same, after losing his mother so young too, was certainly something Tauriel did not wish for.

"I apologize for my words, hir-nin. They were harsher than I realized." The words were out of her before she even knew it. Just seeing him tend to Legolas, now changing the fabric on his forehead for the second time already, made her see just how different the king really was from the person he always pretended to be.

"No." he replied calmly, stroking strands of Legolas' hair out of the way. "They were perfect to stir me up from my stupor. But I certainly wish no repeat of this incident." He clarified, turning his head just the right amount to glare at her decidedly. Tauriel nodded, bowing low in understanding.

"Of course, hir-nin."

She couldn't believe that this conversation had taken place. Just a few hours ago she thought that she might run away as soon as Legolas was better, fleeing the tightness of this place with the hate of its ruler hovering over her head. But she saw now that it wasn't what it seemed, like so often with this royal family. In time, Thranduil would forgive her. And maybe, given time, he could unlearn to cage himself in as well.

Several hours passed until anything particular happened in the healing quarters. Legolas' condition was still dire and he received wraps around the legs to reduce the fever more efficiently. The nurses were busy with other patients from the battle but the prince certainly received the most care, seeing as his situation was the worst of them all. Breaking his fever had top priority and they certainly tried everything in their power.

Around midnight, the fever finally gave in. Tauriel had not sat down ever since it had started and since she also hadn't left the room ever since, she felt exhaustion finally catching up to her. The king didn't look much better, the worry and panic that had risen several times when Legolas' temperature was especially high had worn him out greatly and it was showing under his eyes as well as in his composure.

One incident had worn him out in particular. It was a fever pitch for Legolas just about an hour ago and in the heat of his dreams, the prince had called out for his mother. Thranduil had felt all his movements freeze, felt the blood leave his face and at the same time, all eyes in the room suddenly fled to him. They tried to look away and busy themselves as soon as he looked up but he just knew that the stare had been there. He had tried to calm himself but Legolas' small call for 'naneth' was not leaving his mind anytime soon, reminding him of his wife and the way she always cared for their son so much and the image of the small bundle of joy in the arms of his beautiful mother would not leave him alone for the rest of his life, making it impossible for him to pay attention for several moments before reality caught up to him again.

So by midnight, the king as well as Tauriel felt ready to drop right next to Legolas. But as soon as his fever broke, the prince showed signs of awareness and both of them were certainly not going to leave now, when he could wake up any moment. The healers had tried to make both of them leave but not even Merilthel had the power to do that right now and after several tries, even she had given up completely. They both hadn't rested since the battle and they both really, really needed sleep but neither of them could leave the room, not knowing if Legolas would be okay. The healers said he still needed to wake up in order for them to determine the severity of the head injury.

But the waiting continued and Tauriel, leaning against the wall and still standing since Thranduil occupied the only chair and she didn't dare to come closer yet, felt her eyes get heavier and heavier. The king suffered the same fate, sitting in a chair wasn't really helping with the sleepiness either. Both elves felt how their lids were harder to keep open as time ticked by and the moonlight wandered through the room.

Just when Tauriel's knees were about to give in, she jolted awake from an unexpected source.

"Well, isn't this a surprise? You're both in the same room." The voice was just as pleasant to her ears as the early morning light flooding through the windows was to her eyes and it was full of weariness but also filled with hope and relief. When Tauriel's gaze lifted and she saw what woke her, a bright smile adorned her lips. She saw how the king couldn't believe his eyes, then immediately left the chair to lean over his child with the brightest grin the elleth had ever seen on his face.

Legolas was finally awake.

Maybe, after all, she could hope things would turn for the better.

Ernil - Prince

Hir-nin - My Lord

Ai - Yes (confirming something)

Naneth - Mother

So finding a title for this was a little difficult as there isn't much blood to be found anymore but I managed. What do you think? Is the ending too sudden? Was the healer speaking with Tauriel overdoing it? I thought it could be a sweet moment for her to realize some stuff, what do you think? Also I want to point out that I did NOT want Legolas to mend the gap between Tauriel and Thranduil. I think he would have tried indeed and I think he would have done a very dedicated job of it but I also think some things just need to be worked out between those two all by their lonesome without Legolas being the poor middle elf to suffer by their tempers. So them being in the same room and not fighting to their death is pretty much a win-win for Legolas when he finally wakes up to seeit, he probably guessed on that fight that would ensue when they met again after that confrontation in Dale. I also think it'd be very in character for Legolas to point to them first instead of his own condition. Typical selfless cinnamon roll. Also I wanted it to end here because if I continued (and I know myself well) I would have turned this into the book going all the way until their marriage and I don't really have time for that plus, I think all of you have their perfect scene of them getting together in your heads ;P. Like I said, maybe saving this for a later point in time.

All in all this fanfic is lacking Legolas I guess xD. He's pretty much just the object to pine after and worry over but whatever. I loved writing this and as far as I can see in what is still in my writing folder there may be more stuff with more active Legolas and maybe even smol!Legolas on its way. Any ideas/suggestions for that? I'm always open to ideas :)

Thank you for all your support! See you in my next story hopefully ;)

*hugs you all to death*

Please tell me your opinion, every one of them is welcome, no matter how short!