Authors Note: A huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed
and added this story to your alerts and favourites.
Disclaimer: Sadly I own nothing, just borrowing a few charters to play with.
I also am not a Doctor or a nurse or involved in the medical industry at all. So any mistakes I
have made are my own.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Erin could only stare numbly off into the distance as the flashing lights of the ambulance that carried Jay became smaller and smaller.
She willed herself move, to do something, anything, but the only movement she was capable of making was to grab ahold of Jay's dog tags that hung around her neck for safe keeping.
Erin found herself whispering silent prayers that Jay would be ok, as she stood rooted to the dirty patch of concrete in front of the warehouse that had served as Jay's torture chamber and prison since he'd been taken over fourteen hours ago.
Fourteen hours that Jay had been held captive, and if the condition they found Jay been any indication he had been beaten and tortured for most of that time.
"Ruzek you ok? Or do you need to head to Med to get that looked at?" Voight asked, as Adam tried to stem the blood coming from his possibly broken nose.
"No I'm good Sarge." Adam responded with a shake of his head. "I'm not leaving until we find something on these bastards." He added, with a sad shake on his head as he recalled the state Jay had been in when they had burst through that basement door.
He had been like a wild animal if fight or flight mode. But what worried Adam the most was the fact that Jay had failed to recognize either him or Kevin in that basement.
"Alright then I want every inch of that warehouse searched, these guys must left something for us to go on. Atwater, you and Ruzek take the basement, Al and I will search the main level." Hank ordered gruffly, as he waved two uniformed officers over to him and ordered them to check every inch of the property and surrounding buildings.
"What about me Sarge?" Antonio asked.
"I need you and Erin head to Chicago Med I don't want Halstead left alone until we find these guys. We have no idea of knowing if they intend to finish the job and take Halstead out for good." Hank told Antonio, then shot Erin a worried glance when he realised what he'd said, but she stood just there frozen to the spot, staring off into the distance.
"Erin." Antonio said as he turned following Hanks gaze, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder trying to capture her attention.
Erin jerked back to reality as Antonio called her name again this time more urgently and then added, "Come on we need to move now."
With Antonio's hand on the small of her back Erin was guided to the 300 and didn't even put up a fight when Antonio asked for her car keys and slid into the drivers seat.
Erin was vaguely aware of fastening her seatbelt and holding on for dear life as Antonio took off for Chicago Med as if they were involved in a high speed car chase.
"He's gonna be ok Erin." Antonio tried assured her as he gripped the steering wheel, with hands stained with Jay's blood.
Erin couldn't form a reply, she just stared out the window as the Chicago streets flashed by, but she didn't really see them, all she saw was Jay lying on the floor, his body a mass of cuts and bruises, covered in blood and shaking. His face barely recognizable.
Erin closed her eyes and clenched her hands into fists, pain zinging up her arm from her busted hand, and fought the urge to hit something, because try as she might, Erin couldn't get passed the fact that this whole mess was her fault.
Sure she hadn't abducted and beaten Jay, but her careless words, aimed specifically to hurt him, simply because she herself was hurting, had been the reason Jay was alone and vulnerable on the street, the reason he had been taken, and now the reason he was beaten, battered and broken.
Erin was lost to the doubts and fears racing through her mind. What if her last words to Jay had been said in anger and aimed to hurt?
Or even worse if he left this world believing that she didn't care about him? That he had no clue that she did in fact love him madly and completely, but was terrified that he would end up leaving her like almost everyone she cared about inevitably left.
So she used Hank's ultimatum as an excuse to push Jay away before he could leave her alone, hurt with her heart shattered into a million pieces. But in the end that has happened anyway, only it wasn't just her that had been left alone and hurt and it wasn't just her heart that had shattered into a million pieces. No she had made sure Jay had been destroyed too. And she knew without doubt that if Jay didn't make it though this she would never forgive herself.
Antonio pulled the 300 up outside Chicago Med with a screech of tires, that was enough throw Erin forward against the restraint of her seatbelt and jerk her out of her thoughts and back to a dark reality.
She quickly undid her seatbelt and jumped out of the car and then she was off and running into the Emergency Department, she came to an abrupt stop at the desk slightly out of breath.
"Detective Jay Halstead was just brought in." Erin said flashing her badge, which was a pointless act as Maggie Lockwood looked up at her from the computer screen in front of her.
"Detective, Will said to expect you." Maggie told her a concerned expression on her face.
"Oh God, Jay is he —"
"I'm not going to lie to you Erin he's not in great shape, they had to rush him up into surgery." Maggie told her as Antonio walked in to stand beside her.
"Where?" Erin asked urgently.
"Third floor, Will is waiting for you up there." Maggie told the two detectives, and Erin didn't wait to hear anymore.
"I'll send the rest of your team up when they get here." Maggie told Antonio as Erin ran for the elevators.
Jabbing her finger impatiently at the up button Erin willed the elevator to hurry the hell up and was seriously considering making a run for the stairs when the doors finally opened.
Erin took a deep breath which did little to calm her racing heart and once again reached for Jay's dog tags hanging around her neck and held on tight and willed Jay to do the same.
After what felt like forever but was in fact no more than thirty seconds, the elevator doors finally slid opened to the third floor. Erin was about to move towards the nurse station but spied Will Halstead further down the hallway.
"Will?" Erin somehow managed to call out her voice huskier that usual, causing Will, who was pacing up and down the hallway, his hands gripping his hair in distress, to come to an abrupt halt.
As he turned towards her and Antonio, who had come to a stop to stand beside her, Erin noticed that his jeans and jacket were covered in blood, Jay's blood.
"Jay?" Erin asked almost pleadingly, unable to say anything else around the lump in her throat.
"I'm still waiting for an update, they took him straight into surgery." Will explained, his distress obvious.
"What do you know?" Antonio asked.
Will rubbed a hand over his face, took a deep breath, and then looked at Erin.
"Jay has a pneumothorax –"
"English please." Antonio said cutting Will off.
"Sorry habit. Jay has a collapsed lung, at least four broken ribs, hypothermia, his right shoulder is dislocated and his arm is broken in two places.
"Is that why he was rushed into surgery?" Antonio asked.
"No. Although he will probably need pins put in his arm at some stage, that is not a big concern at the moment." Will explained.
"Then why did they rush him into surgery?" Erin asked.
"Erin, Jay suffered a server head injury which caused a bleed on his brain."
"Oh God." Erin cried out.
"They needed to release the pressure on his brain –"
"What does that entail exactly?" Antonio asked the question that both he and Erin needed to know.
"They will drill a hole in Jay's skull to evacuate the blood, to relieve the pressure on his brain."
"But he's going to be ok right?" Erin asked
"Erin –"
"Will please tell me Jay is going to be ok." Erin pleaded.
"I wish I could do that Erin. I really do. But Jay is in critical condition, we lost him once on the way here in the ambulance and I have no idea what other injuries he has." Will told her.
"So we just wait here then?" Antonio asked, frustrated by not knowing if his friend was going to be ok.
"Yes –" Will started to say tiredly
"Surely there's something you can do? You're a doctor for God's sake? Erin demanded her own frustration giving way to anger.
"You think I didn't do everything I could for him Erin? That I wouldn't be in there in that operating room if I could be?" Will retorted angrily. "Let's not forget who's fault this is to begin with anyway." He spat back, then immediately wished he could take the words back as Erin blanched and what little colour she had leeched out of her face.
Erin stared at him for a beat as his words stabbing at her, then turned without another word a walked down the hallway without a backwards glance, because she knew that what Will had said was true. This was her fault.
"Shit –" Will muttered as watched Erin walk away. He was pissed that he hadn't been able to do more for Jay, that he hadn't been allowed into the OR with Rhodes and he'd taken all his anger, worry and frustration and lashed out at Erin..
He made a move after her to apologise for his thoughtless words, only to be stopped by Antonio stepping in front of him.
"You go after her right now and you'll feel the full wrath of Erin Lindsay." Antonio warned him.
With a sigh Will stopped and ran a frustrated hand through his messy auburn hair.
"I didn't mean what I said Antonio. I don't blame her for what happened to Jay." Will explained tiredly.
"I know. And I'm sure she knows that too. She'll be back as soon a she's cooled down. Just give her a few minutes." Antonio told him.
Will nodded his head and with that went back to pacing the hallway, unable to stand still while they waited for news on Jay's condition.
Erin pushed through a door leading into a bathroom, that thankfully appeared to be empty.
With hands that shook she reached to turn on the taps watching the water swirl into the sink and down the drain. She raised her eyes from the water and took in the image staring back at her, there was blood smeared on her clothes and face, but it was her hands that held her attention, stained with blood from where she held Jay's lifeless hand within hers.
She placed her hands under the icy water and watched it turn pink as it washed Jay's blood off her hands.
It was only once her hands were numb and her own blood swirled into the sink did Erin remove her hands from the water, her breath coming in short gasps as she tried and failed to reign in her rampant emotions.
She stepped back in slid down the wall at her back unable to hold in the sobs that burst from her, tears running unchecked down her pale cheeks as she once more held onto Jay's dog tags now covered in her blood.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter which coincidently I had to cut in half because it
was getting too long so I should be able to post the next chapter soon.
Please let me know what you think.
Thanks L x