Disclaimer: not mine- but I do enjoy playing with them!

House is back...

If the staff at Princeton Plainsboro were expecting a changed man in Dr. Greggory House they were to be sadly disappointed.

He arrived a work on his bike- late and sarcastic as ever. He was just missing his cane.

Lisa Cuddy greeted him at the entrance.

"Welcome back, House."

"I see the twins have been keeping well," his suggestive tone left no doubt in her mind as to what he was referring to.

She suppressed the urge to fold her arms over her chest, and instead rolled her eyes: "It's nice to see that being shot hasn't changed you," she spoke with a touch of asperity.

"Comforting isn't it?"

"I need to see you in my office as soon as possible."

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline," he made a mock-apologetic face, "I'm still in recovery- the doctor says no more mid-morning office-sex."

"As soon as possible, House," she repeated with emphasis.

"I have clinic duty," he replied craftily.

"No you don't," she replied firmly, "It's all been taken care of. Be in my office in fifteen minutes. Don't be late." And with that, she turned and walked off into her office.

When House reached his office, he thought that he was hallucinating again.

Why the hell had happened? The decorating fairy had apparently struck again. His conference room was unrecognisable, but his office…his office was just the same.

He stood staring down at the patch on the cream carpet where the bloodstain should have been; was this Cuddy's idea of a welcome-back gift?

"House."

He turned to see two of his ducklings standing behind him.

"Welcome back," Foreman said awkwardly.

It was strange to see House standing in exactly the same spot he had been shot in, and even stranger to see him standing without a cane.

"Any new cases? Or should I just stand here, waiting for you two to explain what the hell happened to my office?" he spoke with his usual bite.

The two exchanged glances.

"What about your office?" Chase asked after an uncertain pause, then he almost cringed at the stupidity of his question.

His boss rolled his eyes: "It looks like something out of a magazine- and the rugs been replaced."

"House," Foreman began uneasily, "the rug was replaced because it was covered in blood."

"Yes, my blood. I remember. I was there," his voice gave no indication that he felt anything about the incident, "That doesn't answer my question; who had it replaced?"

"All- Cuddy," Chase replied hurriedly.

His boss just looked at him until the Australian dropped his guilty gaze to the floor.

"Hmmm," he said, clearly showing that he didn't believe him, "And where's Cameron?"

"I'm sure she's around," Foreman made a vague gesture as though he expected her to appear in the doorway at any moment, "Look, Chase and I have clinic duty. We'll see you later on."

The two doctors made their escape.

"Interesting," House muttered to himself.

"What's interesting?"

He looked over his shoulder to see his friend leaning against the door of the conference room.

"Cameron's not here."

James Wilson gave a cursory glance around the room: "I can see that. Don't you have a meeting with Cuddy?"

"Yeah. She cornered me as I was coming into the hospital," he watched his friend closely, "She told me that me clinic duty's been 'taken care of'"

Wilson dropped his eyes.

"Interesting."

"What?"

"You don't want to tell me anything either."

"I have a patient," James turned to leave, "You should talk to Cuddy."

"Dr. Cuddy," House said as he barged into her office, "You changed my carpet."

"You're late," she replied, not looking up from the file on her desk.

"I was in the clinic," she looked at him then- disbelief written all over her face. "You know me," he continued, "love that place."

"Right."

"So…do you mind if we get this over with quickly? General Hospital's on in-" he checked his watch, "thirteen minutes."

"It'll have to wait," she responded as she walked around her desk and went to shut the door, "Why don't you sit down, House?"

He just looked at her.

"How's your leg?"

"Do you really want to talk about my health? Or do you want to tell me what's going on?"

She sighed as she sat down on the couch.

"I didn't shut down the department like I told you," she paused for a moment, steeling herself to go on, "Dr. Cameron's been running things while you were away."

There was a deathly silence.

And when he did speak, there was anger as well as disbelief in his voice: "You gave Cameron my job?"

AN: Well, how was that? House is really difficult to write, so I hope I did a good job. Please let me know if there's any way I can improve.