I had a hard time writing the Neal bit, and I'm still not 100% happy about it, but hopefully it plays well in the story.


Chapter 15

"What are you doing here?" Emma shut the register (the only one) that she'd been counting down and started walking around the counter, forgetting to hide her belly from him. "I thought I wouldn't ever have to see you again after what you did to me. Get out."

Neal held up his hands in defense and placation.

"I know you might not believe me when I say that I'm here to say I'm sorry." Emma just stared at him…and the crazy thing was, she did believe him.

"I believe you. Remember, I can tell."

"You always did have that thing with lies."

"I'm sure you're not here to reminisce, so just tell me why you are. I have to finish closing so talk." She decided to leave the counting of the money until he left, so she left her spot behind the counter to start picking up stray books. When Neal noticed her bump, Emma saw his eyes widen. She poked a finger right in the middle of his face. "Not a word."

"About what?"

"Exactly." Emma started stacking some books in the mystery section, "Talk."

"Right. I'm sorry for what I did to you. There are no words to excuse it…ever. I could tell you it was the drinking or the drugs or the fact that I had to deal with life in the spotlight, but it was probably a combination of it all. I thought I was invincible, having family in high places made me feel like I could get away with anything."

"What do you mean 'life in the spotlight'?" she asked as she shelved her stack of books.

"My mom, Gwendolyn Cassidy, is a fashion designer and her sister is an actress, Milah Carlyle." Emma dropped the books in her hands and the thumped on the floor.

"Milah?"

"I know what she did. I can't help but think it was my fault. She came to visit Mom and me like, eight months ago and we were watching TV and some stuff about you and him came on the TV. I said that I knew you and somehow, she got me to tell her all about us. Then she visited again around a month ago and told me what happened, what she'd said."

"She was right. I'm not the one for him, why would he ever want an orphan like me?" Neal rolled his eyes at her.

"You're not even an orphan anymore. I heard you found your family."

"Yeah. This is their shop. But she was still right." He grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"Milah's wrong. I don't care that she's family, but she's an awful person and a total bitch. If I could take back what I did to you, I would. You didn't deserve that, all it did was ruin you and make you feel like you weren't enough. But that's the thing, you are. You're more than enough and any guy would be lucky to have you. It was never going to be me, and I'm okay with that."

Emma stared at him, trying to find a lie. But as hard as she tried, she couldn't. Neal was right. Of all the people to get her to see the truth, to see that she was worthy of everything she'd ever wanted and wished for, it had to be the one man that had started it all.

They talked some more as Emma closed. He told her about his life since he'd last seen her and Emma did the same. She told him about her parents and about Ingrid. She even told him about Jamie and Walsh. And then he asked about Killian. She told Neal how he made her happier than she ever thought she could be. That she'd even dreamt of marrying him and one day, having his children.

"As you can see, I've got one of those down", she said as she rubbed a hand on her belly.

"He doesn't know, does he?" asked Neal. Emma shook her head. "He needs to know. Emma, it's his right to know."

"Don't you think I know that?!" She got up from her stool and started pacing. "It's been almost two months Neal, and when I left I was six weeks already."

"You're four months along? Aren't you a little big for that?" Emma gave him a Look that said Really? You're calling me fat right now? Of all the things? "Sorry. It's just…it's true."

"I know. I've just been stress eating, I'm sure." Emma sat back down. "If I tell him now, he's going to hate me for not telling him sooner and he's not going to want to have anything to do with me."

"Maybe, but what about if he finds out years down the line? Hmm? What about then? It's going to be worse. You need to tell him now Emma."

"I know. I just…I need time." Neal hung around as she finished her closing. When she finished, Emma grabbed her bag from under the counter and walked out, Neal following her. She locked the door and Neal walked her around the building to the back where her car was parked. Emma pulled her keys from her bag and turned to face Neal.

"It was good to see you Emma. I'm sorry…for everything. I wish things had been different, I wish…I wish that I'd been stronger."

"Thank you Neal. You have no idea what you've done for me. And don't worry, I'll think about what you said."

As she lay in bed later that evening, hand rubbing her belly, Emma thought how the last person she expected was the one person to help her. She might not be completely ready yet, but she was well on the path to being so.

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Killian hadn't spoken to anyone since Tink told him about Emma. He'd only been home a few days and Mrs. Potts told Tink that Killian hadn't really eaten or left the bedroom Emma had used since he'd returned from the hospital. Apparently Smee had been dismissed for the time being as well.

"I'm worried about him Miss Bell." Mrs. Potts sipped her tea and looked over at Tink, who sat across from her in Killian's kitchen. "I made sure there was no alcohol in the house. He didn't even get angry that it was gone. He simply smiled at me and went upstairs. When he didn't come downstairs for breakfast the next day, I took him a tray and he just shook his head and continued staring out the window. I left the tray on the dresser and saw it empty outside of the door. He's only been eating once a day."

"He hasn't said anything to you?"

"Not a word. The only thing that's happened is that he left me a note last night that a piano was being delivered this afternoon and I'm to have them place it upstairs in the multimedia room."

"Killian bought a piano?"

"Yes Miss." Before Tink could say anything else, the front door rang. Tink stopped Mrs. Potts.

"Enjoy your tea, I'll get it." She jogged to the door and pulled it open, not recognizing the man on the other side. "May I help you?"

"Hi, I'm Victor Whale. I'm a friend of Killian Jones." He extended his hand to Tink to shake.

"I'm his sister, Rose. Nice to meet you." Tink stepped aside to allow Victor inside. "Forgive me if I sound rude, but why are you here?"

"Killian asked me to come see him when he got home from the hospital. I'm a doctor."

"So you're here for a house call?" Neither one of them heard the footsteps on the stairs.

"No, he's here to give me information." They turned to see Killian standing at the foot of the stairs, arms crossed with an unreadable look on his face. His hair was still long but he'd trimmed his beard and Tink couldn't help but think how much thinner he looked because the muscle and weight he'd gained for the movie had disappeared.

"Geez Jones, what happened to you?"

"Many things happened. Now shut your mouth and follow me." Killian retreated upstairs and Victor gave Tink a look that said What the hell? Tink could only shrug.

"He's been this way for a while. It's either drunk or angry or quiet."

"Since she left?"

"That's when it started."

"WHALE!" They both started at Killian's yell from upstairs.

"I should go up there."

"Next floor, it's the door at the end of the hall on your left."

Tink shook her head as she watched the doctor make his way upstairs. What was her brother planning that involved a doctor, and why did he need a piano? She couldn't help but think that telling him about Emma had been a bad idea.

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Killian was sitting in an armchair in her bedroom, staring out the sliding glass doors, when there was a knock.

"Come in." He looked up to see Victor Whale step into the bedroom and take a seat opposite him.

"What information did you call me here for Killian?"

"She went to see you, didn't she?" At first, Victor didn't seem to understand his question, but then his face calmed and Killian could tell he knew what he was talking about.

"She thought she was sick. But as soon as she told me her symptoms, I suspected the truth. I ordered tests to make sure, several. A urine test and a blood test later confirmed it."

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" Killian asked more to himself than to Victor.

"I'm sure you knew about her previous miscarriage." Killian nodded. "She seemed nervous that it would happen again. I set her up with an OB I know, Dr. Elsa Nordegren."

"You won't get in trouble for telling me this will you? Are there not rules against it?"

"Doctor/patient confidentiality. But here's the thing: Emma is no longer my patient." Killian fought the urge to smile wide.

"Do you know how far along?"

"Six weeks before she came to see me."

Six weeks! That meant it'd happened on their anniversary. On the Jolly. In that instant, it came to him, and he remembered that they hadn't used any kind of protection. With that realization, came the memories of the evening. His heart almost burst with the emotion knowing that in that moment, they'd made a life together. A life that she had taken with her when she'd ran from him, a life that, if Tink hadn't told him existed, he'd never have known about.

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The piano was delivered that afternoon and Killian sat on the bench in front of the Steinway Baby Grand, staring at the sheet music in front of him. He had around a week and a half to learn the song because he was sure it would bring her back to him.

He thought about the call he'd gotten from Whale earlier, when the doctor had told him that Dr. Nordegren had said that the last time she'd seen Emma, she was perfectly healthy and so was the baby. Killian had breathed a deep sigh of relief when he'd learned that. The cloud that had been hanging over his head for the past month dissipated and he talked with Tink. He apologized for his behavior and told her of his plan, the one that involved the piano.

With that thought, his eyes refocused on the music in front of him. He'd never performed musically in front of anyone, and here he had begged someone to allow him do it now. That's why it had to be perfect. Killian read the first few lines and started practicing.

For days, all he did was practice. When he was sure that he was ready, he called Tink, Mrs. Potts, and even Smee up to the multimedia room. He had them all sit on the big sectional couch facing the piano, which now took up residence in the center of the room. Killian looked at his audience and found Tink giving him a very encouraging smile.

"Come on big brother."

"Oi! Quiet in the peanut gallery, aye?" Tink and the others laughed, happy to see Killian in a good for the first time in almost two months. He cleared his throat and started to play. Once he started singing, he lost himself in the music. He focused on nothing but the words and notes so that he was sure to play perfectly, and when he finished, he turned to find his audience of three in tears, even Smee. "What?"

Tink got up from the couch and went over to him, pulling him into a fierce hug. She kissed his temple as she pulled away.

"That was perfect Killian."

"Couldn't agree more sir", said Smee.

"Are you crying Smee?" Killian gave him a surprised look.

"Uh…no sir. I've something in my eye. I'll just be off." With that, Smee pulled his red hat on and practically disappeared from the room.

"She's going to love it my boy."

"Thank you Mrs. Potts. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about son. You're not the first to go through problems of the heart." Mrs. Potts left Tink and Killian alone and went downstairs.

"When do you leave?" asked Tink.

"Couple of days."

"Are you sure they'll be ok with this? Her parents, I mean."

"I spoke to David and Mary Margaret the other day. I saw the name of the shop on the bag you brought back with you. I called them and explained everything. They understood. From what they told me, I wasn't the only one that had a rough time of it."

"I'm sure."

"They said she didn't feel worthy. That she wasn't good enough to be with me. It's all the same shite she said to me when she called me the night she left." His voice cracked a little and Tink could see the tears starting to form. "She said she had to leave before I did. That people like me didn't love people like her. She asked how I could love her."

"What did you say?"

"I just said I loved her. Then she said that no, I didn't. That I only thought I did. She said I'd find someone else, someone more suited for this life and that I'd forget she'd ever existed. The last thing she said before hanging up was that our time together was the greatest of her life and that…" Killian's voice trailed off and he got a look on his face like he was remembering a long lost memory.

"Killian, what is it?"

"Bloody hell! Emma said that I'd given her something to remember our time together by. She must've been talking about the baby. She was telling me even then."

"Don't worry. You'll see her soon enough and everything will be okay."

"I hope you're right Tink."

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Emma stared at herself in the full length mirror her father had installed in her bathroom. She'd finally broken down and started buying maternity clothes, the first of which for her brother's wedding that day. It wasn't horrible or frumpy like she thought it would be, it was beautiful and she felt so: the dress was a deep forest green silk, knee length dress with a lace overlay. The sleeves went to her elbows and there was a sash that went just under her chest that accentuated her belly. Her heels were black and were a tad shorter than the normal ones she enjoyed. Her mother had braided her long blonde hair and then wrapped it into a bun at the base of her skull.

"You look beautiful princess." Emma spun around to find her father leaning against the door frame of her bathroom.

"Thanks daddy." David pushed off the frame and walked over to Emma, putting a hand on her belly.

"This little guy been active lately?"

"Yeah, but how to do you know it's a boy?

"I have a feeling. Anyways, your mother sent me up to get you going. We're leaving for Boston Common in 10 minutes."

"Okay, I'll be right down." David nodded and kissed her forehead, and left the room. Emma turned back to the mirror and smoothed her skirt, resting her hands over her stomach. "I'm sorry I didn't tell your dad about you baby, but I will. He's going to love you, I just know it. He might not be happy with me, but he's going to be so happy to know you."

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Killian's hands shook as he tried to do up his bow tie. He ripped it off his shirt collar and tossed it on the hotel bed.

"Bloody hell! I can't even tie a bleedin' bow tie Tink!" His sister poked her head out of the bathroom and gave her brother a Look. He rolled his eyes at her and Tink retreated back into bathroom to continue her make up.

"You're just nervous Killian", she called.

"You're bloody right I'm nervous."

"I know, you always curse a lot more when you are." Killian sighed and dropped onto his bed.

"And why shouldn't I be? Do you think she'll go for this? Will she even care what I'm doing for her?"

"I'm pretty sure she will brother."

"I don't know. Maybe I should forget this." He dropped his head into his hands, running them through his hair. Suddenly, he felt the bed dip next to him and Tink pulled his face up to look at her.

"What did big brother always say?: A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. If you won't do this, you're not fighting for her and if you don't fight for her, you don't deserve her or that child."

"I know. I just…"

"Relax Killian, everything is going to go perfectly."

"For my sake, I hope you're right Tink."

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Graham and August had asked Emma to walk them both down the aisle and act as their 'best man/maid of honor'. So while she was busy paying attention to her brother say his vows to his fiancé, Emma didn't pay attention to the crowd, which meant she didn't see Tink and Killian sitting in the back row.

During the ceremony, Killian couldn't take his eyes off of her. She looked so beautiful carrying his child. He leaned over to whisper to Tink.

"That's my child Rose. That baby there is half me and half her. Can you believe it?" Tink laughed quietly to herself because Killian didn't call her Rose often. She noticed that the ceremony was almost over, so she got Killian's attention.

"Hey, it's time to go. We've got to be at the reception place at the 140. Come on!"

"Oh, right right." He followed Tink out of the pavilion in the park, casting one last look at his Swan before he left. As he and Tink rode in the cab from Boston Common to Hotel 140, where August and Graham were going to have a small reception, Killian pulled the sheet music he was to use from the inside pocket of his tux.

"Getting ready big brother?"

"I've the music down, but I want to make sure I don't mess up the words."

The pair arrived at the hotel a few minutes later and went into the party room where the reception was to be held. The piano that Killian was to use was up on a small stage at the end of the room with curtain blocking him from view. Tink sat and watched him practice while they waited for people to arrive.

A little while later, Smee interrupted him.

"Sorry to interrupt Mr. Jones, but everyone's about to arrive."

"Thank you Smee. Make sure Swan doesn't see you, but let me know when she arrives."

"Yes sir." He scurried out of the room, leaving Tink and Killian alone.

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Emma saw that the reception room was decorated beautifully when she walked in. The tables had vases with Shamrocks (the national flower of Ireland) and White Pine Cones (the state flower of Maine, where August was born). They were draped with light green table cloths and the chairs had matching bows. There were white twinkly Christmas lights strung up around the place as well. At the front of the room was a small raised stage but it was covered by a curtain, cutting off whoever was back there. Off to the side, angled towards the stage was the head table where August and Graham would be sitting. Next to it was a table with their cake, a simple four-tier white cake with green ribbon around each tier and two figures at the top.

Emma took her seat at the table next to the groom's table as all the other invited guests filed in. The MC announced Graham and August when they arrived.

"Everyone join me in welcoming our newlywed couple, August and Graham! Let's hear it!" The whole room stood amid yells and applause as the two men walked in, hand in hand, taking their place on the dance floor in front of the raised stage. The MC handed over the mic to Graham.

"This is where we would traditionally have our first dance, but we decided we'd have a little change up and allow someone to perform a song for a special person."

Emma, along with everyone else looked around wondering who the special person could be and who'd be performing.

"Take it away Captain", August said into the mic. Some static was heard over the speakers and then a new voice came over the sound system.

"This is for you, my Swan." Emma almost dropped the glass of water she had in her hand. August and Graham took their seats at their table while Mary Margaret scooted closer to her daughter and placed a hand on her shoulder. The piano music started playing while Emma remained speechless, one hand covering her mouth and the other resting on her belly.

The curtain around the stage moved, showing off a shiny black baby grand in the middle of the stage and Killian seated at the front of it. He looked the same and different to Emma. Their time apart was evident on his face; he'd obviously had many sleepless night since she'd left. There was no doubt he'd endured many a morning hung over from God knows how much and what he'd drunk the night before. She'd not heard of any escapades since her departure, so he must've done his drinking in the privacy of his own home. All she'd heard was that Killian Jones had practically dropped off the face of the Earth since his girlfriend had left him two months previous, the last time she had seen something about him on TV.

Emma was drawn from her thoughts when Killian started singing.

"When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love…"

The baby kicked as he sang and she couldn't stop the tears from falling. It didn't help to see Killian sing with the emotion that he did. The sheets of music sat ignored as he kept his eyes on her the entire time, only looking down when he had to make a key change he was unsure of.

"I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I will never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
And I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love."

The words may have been written long ago (Bob Dylan? Billy Joel? She didn't remember, but she also didn't care), but they resonated so much in that moment. She believed him, truly believed him when he sang that he'd never do her wrong and that he'd known she belonged with him from the moment they met. He'd do anything for her he sang, and she cried even more at the words. She realized how stupid she'd been, giving in to her own insecurities that she wouldn't be enough for someone like him.

She only hoped that he'd forgive her for not telling him about the baby. It was pretty obvious that he'd known about it for a while. Tink must've noticed somehow and told him.

"The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love."

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The room burst into applause when he finished, but Killian only had eyes for Emma. She sat at a table directly in his eye line and he noticed that she'd started crying as soon as he'd started playing. The hand she'd kept on her ever growing belly, once again thinking how beautiful she looked carrying their child.

Emma stood suddenly and bolted from the reception room. Killian jumped from the stage and took off after her, stopping only to assure her parents and brother that he'd speak to her and bring her back. He ran out into the lobby where a hotel employee said Emma had run out to the gardens in the back and pointed him in the right direction.

"Thanks mate." Killian made his way outside and found her sitting on a bench, tears streaming down her face. "Swan?"

"Killian!" She jumped up and ran to him, allowing herself to melt against him and be engulfed in hug. It didn't feel like he hadn't seen her in two months, it felt like it'd only been hours, minutes even. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"You've nothing to be sorry about my love."

"I kept the truth from you. I wasn't going to tell you."

"At all?"

"Never. It took seeing Neal again to convince me that you had a right to know."

"You saw that wanker again?"

"He came to visit me at the shop a while ago. He came to apologize for everything. For letting me go to jail, for never looking for me again…for his aunt. It helped me get closure on everything."

"In that case I'm glad." Killian pulled away from her and looked down at her growing middle. "May I?"

"You never have to ask permission." Emma took his hand and placed it on her belly. "The little sailor started jumping when you were singing."

"Did he now?"

"How are you so sure it's a boy?"

"I just do."

"You and my dad. Seriously."

"A Jones' first born is always a boy love. Always has been."

"Well, I'm not a Jones, so this little one could still be a girl", Emma said in a singsong voice. Killian smirked and dropped down on one knee, pulling something from his pocket: the ring that he'd given to Tink for safe keeping.

"I never thought that I'd be capable of letting go of my 'first love', of Milah…until I met you. You made this redundant existence worth living…and now, we're going to have a baby. A little one that is half you and half me. God help this world. This child, boy or girl, will want for nothing. They already have so many people that love them and will protect them. I guess what I'm asking you, Emma, is if you will allow me to do the same for you. You said you're not a Jones…would you like to be?"


Sorry for the delay in posting this. I only had a bit left to do and then I spent the last three days at a Con in town. Comicpalooza if y'all have heard of it. Got to meet Hayley Atwell, Jason Isaacs, and John Schnieder. I was even within spitting distance of Stan Lee himself! David Anders, Dr. Whale, was even here but I didn't get to meet him...just saw him from a distance. One of the highlights was seeing someone cosplaying as our very own Emma Swan.