"Octavia! What the fuck?", Miller exclaimed as he jumped over the bar to help out his new roommate. Clarke was taken aback by the blow to her face. Literally. She was taken a few steps back trying to regain her balance. When she had finally found her footing she looked up and found Miller standing next to her, holding her steady, and her old friend glaring at her as a larger man was holding her back.
"Nice to see you too, O." Clarke finally spoke while holding her face, trying to stop her blood from seeping through her fingers and drip to the floor.
Miller instantly pulled a towel from his back pocket and handed it to her, trying to assist her as much as he could. "Thanks," she mumbled not taking her eyes off her assailant as she took the towel, trying to stop as much of the bleeding as she could.
Octavia was still struggling in the other man's tight hold, "Lincoln! I swear to god! Let me go or I will arrest your ass!"
Lincoln just gripped onto the girl tighter, "Arrest me for what, O?"
Octavia just growled as she continued to fight out of his hold but it was futile, "For obstruction of fucking justice!" She was screaming at this point, and Clarke could clearly see the tears filling her eyes from where she stood.
"It's okay, you can let her go," Clarke stated calmly, still holding the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger and the borrowed towel in the palm of her hand. She kept her eyes focused on the other girl trying not to look away, but all she saw was hurt infused with so much anger. It was almost too hard to keep the eye contact as every second made her heart ache more and more.
"Clarke?" Raven exclaimed looking back and forth between the blonde and brunette across the floor, "The same Clarke? The one that left you and Octavia? That same bitch?"
Lexa nodded slowly, obviously still shocked by seeing her old friend again after so long.
When she finally ripped her eyes from the other girl, she found that Raven was no longer standing next to her and instead she was marching straight up to Clarke.
Lexa tried to keep up with her friend but Raven had a few seconds head start. "Hey. You're the girl from th…" She heard a distantly familiar voice state before Raven hit her straight into the other side of her face.
Clarke's sentence remained incomplete as she was thrown off guard by the second blow to the face. She was looking to the ground for a moment, but when she had looked back up, Lexa, who was now holding her friend back, locked with her burning blue eyes.
The same set of eyes she had seen a million times before. The same set of eyes that she thought she'd never get to see face to face again. The same set of eyes that she saw in her head every night months after the blonde's sudden departure. The same set of eyes that tortured her for longer than she was proud to admit.
Neither of the girls dropped their intense gazes and all that was heard for a full minute was the sound of everyone's heavy breathing mixed in with the hustle and bustle of the bar. It was finally Miller that broke the silence, "Anybody wanna tell me why my new roommate is getting the shit beat out of her by my good friends?"
"This place has a hell of a welcoming committee," Lexa heard Clarke murmur; not missing the tears filling her already glassy eyes as she calmly but quickly walked right passed them out of the bar.
"What the hell, Raven?" Lexa exclaimed after letting go of her when she was sure the other girl was gone. "Why the hell did you punch her?"
"Girl had it coming. After what she did to you two? She deserved much more than what I gave her." Raven spat as she rubbed her aching fist.
"You didn't have to hit her. You really could have just fed her some of your chicken and that would have been payback enough." Lincoln joked with a small chuckle trying, but failing miserably at lightening the mood.
"Lincoln. I'm being serious. She really hurt Lexa and Octavia. She's your girlfriend. Don't you believe her honor should be fought for?" Raven asked as she took a bunch of ice wrapped in a rag from the manager, nodding a silent thank you.
Lincoln chuckled again, "Have you met my girlfriend?! She doesn't need anyone fighting for her honor. She can do that on her own." Lincoln grabbed the second makeshift ice pack from his friend and placed it on her knuckles softly before continuing, "Case #307 being this dumb ass move from earlier."
He kissed the side of her head, "But I'm just saying. You guys chose to protect people for a living. You can't just go around and hit people because you're pissed. There are other ways to go about this."
It was finally Lexa's turn to chime in, "I agree with, Lincoln. I am pissed at her, but you guys shouldn't have done that. Octavia! You're a police officer. This could have serious implications on your job. Also, what would you have done if either one or both of you broke your fists?"
Octavia's face finally softened and it looked like she was finally to the point of starting to calm down, "Okay, I guess I did overreact, but I don't know. I saw her face and I just felt all the anger of the past few years rush back at once. I remembered all those nights we'd sit around and wonder where she was or what she was doing. Wondering if she was ever going to come home."
Octavia winced in pain as Lincoln put a little bit more pressure on her fist, "I was hurt. I reacted badly, but I'm not going to lie and say that I regret it. I guess I still have some pent up aggression over this."
Lexa walked over to Octavia and wrapped her in a tight hug, "Me too, O. Me too."
They stayed in that same position, neither girl needing to break apart, before Miller brought out a tray of varying drinks and shots. "Here. On the house. Looks like you guys are gonna need it if this is how you're gonna start the night. "
Lexa thanked him and grabbed a few shots, downing them quickly. The bar was starting to get warm as more people entered and the highly alcoholic glasses didn't give her body the cool down it needed. "I need some air. I'll be back," was all she said before she walked back out towards the exit of the bar.
She made a left and walked down the way, shivering lightly when a breeze blew by. She couldn't believe that Clarke was actually back. Maybe she wasn't back in her life, but she was within reach. She was no longer a ghost.
Lexa wasn't exactly sure how she had felt about that. It had taken her a long time to accept Clarke's departure and even longer for her to get over it. She wasn't even sure she had completely gotten beyond it yet, considering she occasionally still had her string of sleepless nights where she woke up in cold sweat dreaming of the other girl.
She continued walking down the street aimlessly, just trying to get some air and clear her thoughts some. That was when she noticed a familiar blonde sitting on a nearby bus bench.
Clarke had only walked about a block or two before she sat down on a bus bench, needing to process what had happened just minutes ago.
She sat there, her head tilted back, staring at the few stars that were shining above her head, but what other choice did she have; she needed to keep her head tilted back so the blood would stop flowing out of her nostrils.
She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath through her mouth. Octavia punched her right in the nose. Then the cute girl from the café punched her in the eye. Then Lexa was there holding the other girl back. And they all knew her new roommate. What kind of telenovela did she fly into?
Clarke was halfway through a thought about Lexa when she felt someone sit down next to her. Assuming it was just someone waiting for the bus, she kept her eyes closed and just focused on breathing.
"So, you're back." Clarke heard and she whipped her head up and stared straight back into the pair of green eyes she had left behind half a decade ago. "Or have you been back? Or did you never leave?"
Lexa seemed extremely calm compared to the other pair of girls who just did a number on her face. Clarke finding it too hard to hold her penetrating gaze went back to looking above her, "Just got in yesterday."
She heard Lexa chuckled and she felt the butterflies returning, realizing how much she had missed that sound, "Did you come in around 8 in the AM?"
Clarke looked back over and quirked her good eyebrow at the other girl, "Uh, yeah. How did you know?"
Lexa shook her head and looking straight ahead, refusing to make eye contact with Clarke again, "Saw you at the airport yesterday. Thought I was hallucinating, but I guess I wasn't."
They were both quiet for a while. It wasn't an awkward silence, but it wasn't exactly comforting either. Clarke didn't know what to say. There was so much to say, but she didn't know where to start.
It was a good five minutes of silence before Clarke tried to start it with an apology, "Lexa…"
That was when Lexa put her hand up in the air to stop her and stood up, "Not tonight, Clarke. It was just good to see you. Let's not ruin it with more words."
Lexa had turned around at this point but before she started walking she stated, "You look really good, Clarke, I'm glad. Maybe next time we meet there will be less violence and under better circumstances."
The last thing she heard the other girl say as she made her way down the street was, "Good night, Clarke. Ice your face. At least you can heal physical wounds." Clarke swore she could physically feel her heart sink into the depths of hell, where she felt she belonged in that moment.
She knew that when she had left her friends would be upset, but she had just assumed that they would eventually forget her, it would be over with and she would never see them again.
She had thought about contacting them when she got back, but she had left them with a note and never even checked in with them once in those five years. Technically she had only left Lexa a note, and Octavia with nothing – not even a goodbye.
To be fair, Clarke deserved that first punch from Octavia and she knew it. Not to say she expected it, because that was surely the last way she thought the night was going to end. She decided to get up and start walking home to clean herself up and end the night.
The walk home had definitely cleared her mind more, but it didn't mean she was feeling better - not by a long shot. She was looking at two options. She could either find a way to mend her broken bridges with the girls or she could just ignore it and everyone would move on with their lives.
It would surely be an easier option to go with the latter, but she didn't think she could follow through with it. Knowing that her old friends now lived in the same town again made her feel uneasy with a small side of relief.
They were the closest to home she had ever felt and even though they were obviously no longer on good terms, it still comforted her knowing that they were near.
Clarke decided to shower again, hoping it would clear off the night's turmoil. As soon as the beaten blonde got into the shower her head wandered to a day in the past too long ago.
"Clarke, honey! Are you home?" Clarke heard her mom yell from the bottom of the stairs as she entered the house coming home from a long day in surgery. Clarke had just gotten home not too long ago from her last finals of the semester. It had been her most trying semester yet, as she was struggling to keep as much interest in the subject as possible.
Clarke herself had never intended to go to medical school, but her mother had somehow softened her resolve and she found herself finishing the last of her pre-med requisites that day. She only had a semester left of school before she had to enter medical school, and it would be an understatement to say that she was dreading the coming days after her winter break.
She was still in the shower when she heard her mother announce her presence again, "Clarke!"
"SHOWER!" The blonde yelled out as loud as she could, hoping her mother heard her, so she could clean herself in peace.
"Okay. Come down when you are done, okay sweetie?" The older woman voiced.
"Sure." Clarke was tired and she was ready for a night of movies and dinner with her girls. With everyone bombarded with finals and their love lives, the girls really didn't have much time to see each other. She hadn't seen Octavia in over a week and Lexa had canceled their last three plans, but she had promised that there was no way she was going to cancel today.
Clarke got out of her steamy shower and quickly checked the time as she dried herself off. She still had another two hours before she was due as Lexa's house and she couldn't wait another minute. She had really missed her best friend and she was more than ready to sit back and relax for the first time in too long.
Clarke quickly got dressed in a tank top and jeans, grabbing Lexa's Polis U hoodie and her winter coat as she left her room, heading down to see what her mom wanted. She slipped the hoodie on and waltzed into the kitchen, "Yes, mom?" Clarke kissed her mom on the cheek before she sat down and watched her mom make herself dinner.
"You seem to be in a good mood." Her mom noticed as she eyed her daughter.
"Finals are over and I can just relax for a few weeks." Clarke answered, visibly uninterested in the forthcoming conversation.
Abby continued to focus on cutting the vegetables on the cutting board, "Speaking of your finals, how did you do on them?"
The younger Griffin groaned, "I don't know mom. I just took them today and the grades won't be released for another couple weeks."
"Well if you did the work correctly and studied then you would know how you did on the test. Did you know all the answers or did you struggle on them?"
"No struggling mom. I did fine," she replied trying her best to get her mom off her back.
"Fine? Just fine?" Her mom criticized. "You know that this is just the beginning of it. Medical school is around the corner and it'll be 100 times harder. If you aren't picking it up now, then I'm not too sure how successful you'll be there."
Clarke sighed softly and listened to her mom continue to put her down again, "Honey, you're really smart but you've got to show more initiative. You can't just keep strolling through the park like you are. Medical school is going to be a long marathon. And being a doctor is going to be a triathlon. You need to be training for this."
As Abby took a quick breath, Clarke took her chance to intervene, "Yeah I know, but you've always known that medical school was never my first choice."
"And I've told you time and time again that in the end, something like art would never fulfill your life like being a doctor would. You'd be happy in the moment, but when it gets down to paying the bills and starting a family, you are just going to be stuck at a standstill or even worse you'll be depending on someone else. Is that what you want? Do you have something against being a self sufficient woman of society?"
Clarke was getting more and more impatient with the conversation at hand. With a sigh she got to her feet and walked straight passed her mom, "Lexa and Octavia are waiting for me. Maybe we can talk about this later?"
"Sure. I'm assuming you won't be home for dinner then?" Her mom asked not taking her attention away from her cooking.
"Yeah. We're gonna order some pizza or something." Clarke answered, walking away.
"You know that stuff's going to kill you sooner or later. You should really watch what you eat more often, hun," her mom lectured.
"Yes. I know." Clarke grumbled as she grabbed her coat sitting at the base of the stairs and put it on before exiting her home. It was still a bit early to be heading over to Lexa's but she couldn't extend her conversation any longer than she had already, so she made her decision to head over early.
Lexa's parents house was only a ten-minute walk away and the day was unusually warm for mid-December, so Clarke really didn't mind the walk. Lexa similar to Clarke also opted out of on campus living and was staying with her parents to save money.
Soon enough Clarke was standing in front of the Wood's door and instead of knocking, she just opened the door and walked straight inside, cleaning her shoes off on the mat at the entrance. The Woods family lived in a very safe and gated community, so they rarely locked their doors, usually just before they went to sleep.
Clarke silently closed the door behind her and made her way to Lexa's room, but stopped right outside it when she heard the sounds of soft moans. The room's door was cracked open and she could see her best friend being pinned down by her girlfriend, Costia. Costia was kissing the side of Lexa's neck down to her collarbone and it made Clarke feel sick to her stomach.
The girl was really nice and almost perfect for Lexa, but in Clarke's opinion, no one could be more perfect for the brunette than herself. Clarke always had somewhat of a small crush on her best friend, but chose her friendship over pursuing anything and possibly ruining the best thing in her life.
Maybe that's why Clarke almost always refused to hang out with the two of them when she was invited. They weren't big on PDA but whenever they were together they usually like glue - even if it was just holding hands, they couldn't keep apart for too long. Clarke would never do anything to sabotage her best friend's relationship with the other girl, but that didn't mean that she could just shut off her feelings like a light switch.
She had accepted their fate as just being friends, but the closer the couple got, the uneasier Clarke felt. Not only did Cosita get to do everything she's recently wanted to do with Lexa, she was now taking away from their time together. Clarke was almost 100 percent sure that Costia was the sole reason for Lexa canceling every single one of their plans in the past few weeks.
Clarke could have easily turned back around and went to Octavia's house until Costia left, but she'd be lying if she said she wouldn't take the chance at getting the other girl off of her crush. Jealousy wasn't an attractive trait, but no one was around to see and Clarke honestly didn't care in the moment. She just needed her friend back for a few hours. Feeling like it was getting too intense and she had seen too much of their intimacy, Clarke walked back down the stairs quietly and made less of a silent walk back upstairs, "Lexa! Are you home?"
The moans suddenly stopped and she heard some shuffling before she heard her friend's voice, "Yeah! We're in my room!" By the time Clarke made it back to Lexa's door both of the girls were sitting up staring at the TV, breathing a little bit unevenly.
"Did I interrupt something?" Clarke asked pretending to be unaware of what was happening just seconds ago.
"Nope." Lexa replied, popping her 'P' like she usually did. "We were just watching TV." Her friend looked back at the TV and realized that it was off, but Clarke just let it slide with an arched eyebrow.
"Probably just turned it off because nothing was on, right?" Clarke asked throwing Lexa a bone, knowing that she didn't do well with being open about her sex life.
"Right," she returned sheepishly, appreciating her friends understanding.
Clarke turned her attention to the other girl who was quiet watching their exchange, "Hey Cos. How've you been? Long time no see." Just because she was jealous, doesn't mean she was going to throw away her manners. Costia was obviously very important to Lexa and Clarke would never purposely do anything to jeopardize their relationship and hurt her best friend.
"I've been good. Just finished up my last semester of classes. So done with school. How about you Dr. Griffin?" Costia had always been nothing but nice and courteous to Clarke and that made it even more difficult to dislike the girl.
Clarke threw on a smile, "Not a doctor yet, but I'm on my way. Finals finished earlier and I have just a semester left before I get started with med school."
"Must be nice to have a break," Lexa chimed in.
"Yup," Clarke replied back also popping her 'P'.
At this moment Clarke was just awkwardly leaning on the doorframe and while the other girls were sitting on the bed, Lexa's arm wrapped around her girlfriend's waist. Lexa must have finally cleared the sexual fogginess in her mind because finally started to process how awkward it was in the room. She cleared her throat and invited Clarke into her room, which she accepted and sat on the carpet by Lexa's bed.
Lexa looked at her watch quickly, "you're early. I thought we said six."
Clarke looked back up at the brunette and made eye contact, almost getting lost in her green eyes, which were a little darker than usual, "Shit with my mom. Did you want me to leave? Cause I could."
Lexa must have realized how unwelcoming she sounded and placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder, "No! Stay, please. I just thought that the time got away from me is all."
Clarke smirked, "Watching TV."
Lexa blushed and looked away from her, "Yeah. TV."
Clarke couldn't deny how adorable Lexa got when she was embarrassed, but she would never admit it out loud though. She just smiled back and turned to face the TV, turning it on with the remote sitting by her leg.
The three of them got passed the awkwardness and watched a random cooking show on the TV for about an hour before Octavia showed up, getting the message from Clarke that she had arrived earlier than planned.
Like Clarke, Octavia waltzed into the large home, "What up bitches?"
"Why do you have to be so vulgar?" Lexa questioned looking up at the newcomer.
"What's up with the judge club? I get enough of that from Bellamy." Octavia scoffed.
"Maybe if you weren't dating his right hand man, he would judge you less." Clarke offered.
"Hey, don't blame me for being fine. Atom asked me out. I just did him a favor by saying yes." Octavia defended putting emphasis on her 'me's.
They just shook their heads as Octavia hopped on the bed, plopping herself down right beside Lexa, unbothered by the couple's cuddling. Clarke on the other hand refused to even look back at the girls for even a second, instead her eyes were glued to the TV screen as well as the social media apps on her phone.
She felt the bed move and turned around to find Costia leaning over the other girls to grab her phone. She quickly locked her phone after looking at it and stood to her feet. "I've got to go have dinner with my parents."
Lexa got to her feet as well and grabbed her girlfriend's hand as she walked to the door, "and I'm going to walk her down to her car. Be right back."
"It was nice seeing you guys again." Costia concluded with a small wave.
When they were out of earshot Octavia joked, "They're gross. Their level of compatibility is disgustingly cute." Clarke just nodded as she continued to prod her phone, catching up on her Twitter feed. "I forgot to ask. Why did you get here so early?"
"Mom stuff. School stuff. Life stuff. Never good enough stuff. You know, the usual." Clarke replied.
Her friend flipped herself over and wrapped her arms around the blonde, choking her slightly rather than hugging her. "Babe, you know how your mom is sometimes. She doesn't mean it. She's had a long day at work and was probably irritated at something. Don't let it get to you. You are the smartest person in the whole university and you'll be the best doctor out there. Even better than her. Just take this vacation and take a well deserved break." Octavia kissed her on the side of the head when Lexa re-entered her room with a smile, staring at her best friends.
"She's right, you know. In ten years, your mom will have nothing on you. Whether it be in the medical field or whatever else you want, you got this." Lexa sauntered over and sat down right beside her, putting her arm around her shoulder and pulling her flush against her side. "Are you okay though?"
"Mostly okay. Just tired and need a breather." Clarke reassured her as she relished in the warmth of the other girl. "Can we just order some food? I haven't eaten since breakfast this morning."
"Sure anything for the girl who stole my hoodie." Lexa jested, poking at the hole in the sleeve of her old hoodie that the blonde was currently wearing.
Clarke just smiled sheepishly and tried to talk herself out of the embarrassing moment, "I like yours better than mines. You bought it freshman year and it was the old design. My sophomore hoodie looks so boring." In all honesty, Clarke's sweatshirt smelled and felt like hers and Lexa's smelled and felt like Lexa's. She always put it on when she was feeling over-stressed or sad and it would usually make her feel better. She couldn't really explain it - it just always made her feel better.
"Whatever. It looks better on you anyways." Lexa chuckled lightly but not before she noticed the blonde slightly blushing below her. "Just don't tell Cos. She's been trying to find it and I told her I lost it at a party a while back."
Octavia took her chance and joked, "I swear if Clarke wasn't straight you guys would already be dating."
"Pizza." Clarke interjected trying to avoid another awkward conversation. Although she agreed with Octavia very much, it wasn't a conversation she wanted to have.
"Of course," Lexa agreed while dialing the local pizza place. "Same as usual?" Clarke and Octavia nodded silently letting the other girl order in peace. "Hi. I'd like to order for delivery." There was a beat of silence before they heard her continue, "Yeah. It's Lexa. I'll just get the usual. One medium plain cheese and one medium thin crust chicken with pineapples and banana peppers." Clarke heard Lexa laugh and she swore she could feel the butterflies act up, but she pushed them right back down. "Yeah. Cheese and peppers would be nice. Half an hour. Okay, thanks a lot, Titus."
Lexa hung up the phone and put it down, averting her attention back to the TV, arm still wrapped around her friend. Octavia didn't even wait for the phone to hit the floor before she commented, "We don't order from them that much do we? Also you guys have gross taste in pizza. Who the hell eats a chicken pizza with pineapples and banana peppers? That's like worse than anchovies."
"I'm on a first name basis with the owner, so it's safe to say that we do order from them quite a lot. Also, you get the best of everything. You got the savoriness of the chicken. Then you have the sweetness from the pineapple. The banana peppers give it a bit of sourness and then you have the crushed peppers to add the spiciness it's missing. It's the perfect pizza, right Clarke?" Lexa explained nudging the smaller girl for an answer.
"Yeah. It should be the only pizza - it's the best of all worlds." Clarke replied, completely agreeing with Lexa. Clarke just leaned her head into Lexa's shoulder, needing the extra comfort that night. Noticing her motions, Lexa just hugged her tighter as she finished up a text to her girlfriend. Clarke didn't mean to be nosy, but the phone was right in front of her face and it was hard to miss it.
It was quiet for a while, the three girls just enjoying each other's company for the first time in weeks. Clarke was slowly nodding off to sleep still pressed into Lexa while Lexa continued texting Costia during the silence and Octavia noticed, "So you and Costia are really getting serious, huh? It's been like a year already."
"It's been a little over a year. 14 months to be exact. She's amazing. She gets me. Like a best friend, but with benefits. You know?" Lexa replied with a huge smile on her face. "I mean it's still kind of early but I think she's as close to the one as I'm going to get. Last week she asked me to move in with her and I'm actually considering it."
Clarke felt that feeling of her heart sinking again as she listened to her best friend talk about her relationship. It made her so uneasy, she slowly removed her head from Lexa's shoulders and excused herself to the bathroom, needing more space in between her and the brunette.
Clarke made her way to the ensuite bathroom and splashed her face with a handful of cold water. She knew that she consciously made the decision to leave her feelings alone, but hearing Lexa speak so positively about her perfect relationship with Costia bothered her more than she would care to admit, even to herself.
She dabbed herself with the towel and shook it off, walking back to the room to find Lexa missing and Octavia still unmoved on the bed. Clarke walked straight up to the bed and sat down beside her other best friend. Octavia lifted her right arm and Clarke snuggled into Octavia just like she had just done with Lexa, but it felt different. It was nice, but she didn't melt into Octavia like she did with Lexa. It was like their bodies didn't fit as well.
After a few moments Lexa reentered the room with both of the pizzas in her hands. "Dinnertime! What does everyone want to watch?"
"How about some Leo?" Octavia suggested as she grabbed her pizza from Lexa.
"Like 'The Titanic'?" Lexa questioned with a look of uninterest on her face.
Octavia corrected the taller girl, "More like 'Catch Me If You Can'. I haven't watched it in ages."
Lexa placed their pizza on the desk in between the bed and the desk, "I think my folks have the DVD. I'll go grab it." Lexa left the two girls to themselves once again while Clarke detached herself from the smaller girl's side and sprinkled two slices of pizza with crushed peppers before removing them from the box.
Lexa returned to the room with the DVD box in her hands and she opened it, placing the disk into her DVD player. Once she got it running she sat back on the desk chair and Clarke handed her one of the pre peppered slice, "Thanks!"
They all finished the pizzas as they watched the first movie, adding their own entertaining commentary when necessary. Once the movie was complete, they decided to borrow another DVD from Lexa's parents and unanimously agreed on 'Eat, Pray, Love', as none of the girls had previously watched it before..
About halfway through the movie Octavia's phone beeps, alerting the room of an incoming text message, "hey guys. Sorry to be a party pooper, but I gotta go. Atom's out early and his car's in the shop, so I'm gonna pick him up." Octavia stands up after giving Clarke a hug and walks over to give Lexa a hug as well before she makes her way to the exit, "I'll talk to you guys later! Don't have too much fun without me."
After Octavia's departure Lexa gets up and moves over to her bed, placing herself beside Clarke once again. They continue watching the movie quietly for a while before Clarke breaks the silence, "Have you ever considered leaving? Like just pack your bags and go around the world for a while? See what's out there? Find out what's beyond the walls of D.C.?"
Lexa furrows her eyebrows for a second and Clarke knows it as her thinking face, "Traveling takes a lot of planning, Clarke. You can't just pack your bags one day and leave the next. You need to plan where you're going and where you're staying and for how long. There's so much to think about. Not to mention the financial responsibility of it all."
Clarke laughed and poked Lexa in her side, the brunette flinching slightly, "That wasn't my question, you dodo. I asked if you've ever considered leaving."
Lexa chuckled lightly, "Well if that's the question then I have to say no. I'd love to travel for a vacation maybe, but I couldn't imagine leaving D.C. My folks are here and so is Costia. And I'm just a few courses away from finally becoming a teacher. There's no reason to leave. Why do you ask?"
Clarke wasn't sure why she asked considering Lexa's answer didn't make her feel the least bit better. "Liz just looks like she's having some fun. Just seems fun discovering new things is all. Nothing beyond my curiosity."
Lexa eyed her questioningly, seemingly surveying her to see if it was anything more than just that. If she found anything she ignored it because she nodded and put her attention back on the movie.
Just as the movie finished Clarke got up to stretch her muscles, as she was in that same position for almost four hours. Clarke checks her watch and finds that it was just passed 10:00 PM. Clarke turned around and found Lexa back on her phone texting again. She could only assume who was on the other end of the message and Lexa only confirmed her suspicions, "Costia's done with family time and she wants to surprise me with something. Do you mind if we end the night? I can drop you off."
Clarke's face must have really dropped because Lexa stopped talking for a second before adding, "But I don't have to leave. You could stay and we could have a sleepover like we used to."
Clarke knew Lexa meant it when she offered to stay, but she saw how excited the other girl was and she didn't want to be selfish and keep her away from her other half. Clarke shook her head and denied the offer, "It's okay. I'm tired anyways. I'll just walk home and go to sleep. Hopefully my mom's asleep by the time I get home though. It's way too late for another one of these conversations."
Lexa got up from her bed and closed in on the other girl, Clarke forgetting how to breathe in that moment, "Are you sure? Really, I can tell her no."
Clarke shook her head again, this time with a small forced smile on her face, "I'm good. Go spend time with her."
"You sure I can't drop you off?" Lexa asked again, feeling bad for ending the night early.
"I could use the walk," Clarke reasoned. "Work off all that pizza."
Lexa closed the rest of the distance between the girls with a tight hug, "Just ignore her. It'll be okay and if you need to talk, I'm one call away."
Clarke got lost in the hug as she hugged her back just as tight. They stood that way for a few minutes but when Lexa's phone buzzed again Clarke was taken back to reality and she released her friend and walked over to the desk to grab her coat.
They said their goodbyes with one last hug and Lexa kissed her on the side of her head, "Just sleep it off. She'll forget about it in the morning and so will you."
"Hopefully," said the blonde as she left the Wood's home.
The walk home for Clarke was quicker than earlier as it was getting colder and she really just wanted to get back to the warmth of her home. She made it home in record time and walked straight to her room, trying her best to avoid another confrontation with her mother.
That was when she found a note taped to her door.
Clarke.
I just talked to Marcus Kane and he said that he has an opening for an internship at his clinic. You'd mainly be answering calls and grunt work, but it would be a great opportunity to be placed in that kind of atmosphere so you can be ahead of the game when you enter your medical program. It starts in a couple days and I told him that you'd do it. I had to head back in for an emergency surgery so we'll talk about it tomorrow. I hope you had fun tonight.
I love you,
Mom
Clarke just groaned as she ripped the piece of paper off the door and crumbled it in her hands as she entered the room, slamming the door behind her. Nobody was home so the ruckus was definitely the last thing on her mind.
She sat at her desk, breathing in and out deeply, attempting to calm herself down. She thought about her conversation with Lexa earlier. She still had the money her dad left her when he passed on so the financial aspect of it was cared for, at least for the time being. But it was a big decision. Lexa was right - you can't just pack your bags tonight and leave tomorrow.
The more she thought about it though, the more she wanted to follow through and leave. Lexa had Costia and they were oh so happy. Octavia had Bellamy and Atom. Her mom had her career. Apparently all Clarke had was a future doing something that completely bored her and an internship for the most uninteresting thing she could think of. She wouldn't take that job if it paid, much less do it for free.
Maybe all she needed was some space from everything. From the 'perfect' couple. From the 'perfect' career. From her 'perfect' life. Maybe if she left she could possibly come home and everything would be okay again. Maybe not. Maybe all she really needed was a fresh start. But how would she ever know if an attempt was never made.
Before she knew what she was doing, she had a sheet of paper in front of her and a pen in her hand.
To my favorite person in the galaxy…
Clarke shivered realizing that she had been spacing off for too long and the water had started to run cold. She exited the shower and quickly dried herself off, not wanting to catch a cold the second she came into town.
She quickly grabbed some ice cubes from the freezer and thickly wrapped them in paper towels before she made her way back to her room. She entered the painfully plain room and plugged her phone into the charger before moving to her suitcase to grab something. She pulled out a familiar grey sweatshirt with a faded Polis U printed on it and slipped it on. She then lied back down, icing both her nose and her right eye, hoping that it wasn't going to look as bad as she expected it to the next day.
As she iced herself she thought about the other girl again. Lexa looked good. Even better than she remembered. If anything she looked tired, but beyond that, Clarke thought Lexa looked even more perfect than she did before the blonde left on her trip.
She knew she was in trouble as part of the reason she left years ago was to get over her crush for her taken best friend. One minute of seeing her again, and Clarke felt 21 and lost again. The second she laid her eyes on Lexa she felt all of her feelings rush back at once and she knew that she was most definitely screwed. She didn't even know if the other girl was willing to forgive her for her rash actions, but she knew she had to try her absolute best.
Not only did she have to worry about Lexa's forgiveness she also had to figure out how to work things out with Octavia. The smaller girl was furious and if she was the same girl as she was before, Clarke had a lot of stubbornness to fight through. If anyone could hold a grudge, it was Octavia. She once ignored her brother for an entire six months when he accidentally ran over her game winning championship football with his truck. If that's how she treated him for a damn ball she was guaranteed that she had a long road of groveling in the near future.
She really fucked up and she knew it but it wasn't something she could fix in that night so after remembering what she learned in her final years of school, she continued to ice both parts for a solid 15 minutes before she put down the ice down in the bin next to her bed.
Clarke rolled over in the dark room and hugged herself, absentmindedly playing with the hole in the left sleeve of the hoodie. In the five years that she had been gone, she had never felt as alone as she did in her room that night. She had really hurt the people she loved and she didn't know if she could forgive herself. She had never really regretted her decision to leave until she saw the hurt and betrayal in both of her friend's eyes that night. For the first time in years she found herself crying herself to sleep again.
I hope you guys enjoyed it. Tell me what you think. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can. See ya next time!