"Applaud us when we run, console us when we fall, cheer us when we recover." - Edmund Burke
Robin stayed in the palace after sending us word of Father. He was kind enough to do it too. Whenever he saw me get a little depressed, he'd help me study important battles which took place during the campaigns of Marth's army, or had me study basic battle strategies. I didn't learn much as a tactician or anything, just basic stuff like the weapon triangle or when to engage an opponent in long range. Robin was great help.
I didn't get as depressed as much as I thought I would though. I thought it'd be the end of the world for me but I realized I was eerily calm. It wasn't comfortable at all. I'd thought it was fine at first, there was nothing to feel bad about, and I felt calm about Father, which in turn made me guilty because I was calm. How stupid was that!? I felt bad because I wasn't feeling sad. Mother looked like an empty shell while I didn't have a care in the world! It didn't seem fair for a child to be fine while my mother was suffering.
When I held Falchion, my father's blade in my hands, my feelings worsened. This wasn't supposed to happen. Father wasn't supposed to die. I didn't want to live in that future. I didn't want any of it. All I wanted was to die. There wasn't anything for me to live for. I couldn't be brave. I wasn't strong.
We had a month to cope. During that month we held a funeral and buried nothing. Supposedly, Father's body was lost at war. That was an M.I.A then, right? He was only missing, he wasn't dead. Robin wasn't with him all the time, surely. Robin was wrong, he was wrong, wrong wrong wrong.
We got a lot of visits during that cold summer month. From vaguely familiar soldiers in the army, from nobles, from family. Aunt Lissa was sobbing as hard as she could into Uncle Lon'qu's chest. Everyone seemed to be distressed. Mother, the most. The council was unforgiving. While there were nobles in the council, they weren't kind. They were the most stuck up and demanding people I had the ever had the displeasure of meeting. They expected Mother to be ready and serve a nation a great as Emmeryn or Father. I didn't think anybody in the family was prepared for anything. Mother was still grieving, I was only a child and Cynthia was still an infant.
The council even made the suggestion of giving me more schoolwork. I spoke out against that. It wasn't fair, you couldn't put work on a person who was already stressed, did they want to put salt in the wound? But they gave the work to me anyway. They reasoned I was a smart child since birth and had the capability of accomplishing great things, more work was tiny in comparison.
I hadn't realized I'd already set myself on the path of an intelligent child, it was nice to not pretend my own intelligence, and it came as a surprise for me. So when they called me smart, I thought it was reference to my trying to show off. It's not like more work would bother me or anything; it annoyed me that the council wished to exert their power over the daughter of their late ruler. If anyone was to have more power, it should have been me. Then again, I was only three or four. I kept forgetting that.
Nothing much happened after mourning. It took three quarters of the month, but Mother wanted me to start training. As in fighting. With weapons. I wanted to protest vehemently, but the look of desperation on her face made me do it. Mother didn't want me to die, I understood that. She said she'd enroll Cynthia in training once she was older too. I think she said that out of comfort for me more than herself. I didn't tell her outright, but I'm pretty sure she knew combat scared me.
With both school and training, I had to adjust to a new time schedule. Starting the day off was breakfast, a bath, then school. After school was lunch, then training, followed by dinner, and sleep. Then the schedule would start all over again save for Sunday. Sunday was supposed to be a free day for most people. Some people had to work on Sundays because their work demanded it like merchants, or soldiers.
Training wasn't easy, to be obvious. It was hard on me. I didn't train with just anybody though, I trained with Frederick. I didn't understand the big deal associating Frederick and training at first, but I recalled little of him. He was a monster as a training instructor. I had to choose what weapon I wanted to be trained in but Frederick only taught lance, sword, and axe. If I wanted to learn anything else like magic or a bow, I'd have to find another instructor. But I stuck with Frederick. He was a familiar face and I knew him best.
The afternoon when I started training with Frederick, I wore a dark blue tunic with matching tights and boots. My outfit was plain but I liked it, besides, it wasn't like I needed to train in anything fancy, I'd be sweating a lot later, I was sure. Frederick didn't wear his normal light blue armour, surprisingly. He wore armour still, but it was different. The armour was also a dark blue but it had these spiky shoulder ornaments, alongside those he wore matching dark blue trousers and boots. We were in a scenic little area, outside the castle around the courtyard, but it surprised me that there were almost no weapons around us.
I hugged Falchion close to me, an empty mask covering my anxious face. Frederick was about to speak.
"You will want to focus on every word I say." He began, arms folded behind his back, pacing back and forth in front of me. "Starting today will be your training. I shall warn you now, the regime you will be given will be no mere task. As a soldier, you must face numerous adversaries in numerous locations, and for that you must be prepared for everything. I, your instructor, will mold you from clay and dust into a fine, proud statue that towers over her enemies, vanquishing them from the world and to the other beyond. But remember this: neither your enemies nor I shall hold any strikes, even if you are Ylissean royalty." He stopped pacing and caught his eyes with mine. "Any questions?"
I shook my head. There weren't any questions that came to mind. It may have been the fear which really motivated me to not speak up or ask anything. It didn't help that I absolutely abhorred the idea of me becoming a soldier, or how Frederick mentioned nobody would hold back punches. I basically knew that already, but verbalizing it, especially in his stern tone of voice, really made it stand out.
He inclined his head into a quick nod. "Good."
He held out his arm as if he was expecting me to give him something. I didn't know what he wanted, so I tightened my hug on Falchion. "Yes...?" I asked, smothered into an awkward cough. He stood there all the more patient, his hand still outstretched. Confusion flooded through me yet there was a bit of understanding. My grip on Falchion loosened a tad. I looked down towards it then back at Frederick. Did he want Falchion for something? He nodded, noticing how I looked back and forth, answering my unasked question.
Reluctantly, I handed Falchion over to him with trembling hands. It may have been Frederick, but Falchion was so very important. I remembered it was also Marth's sword once, it was more than a sword, it was the very essence of history itself. But, I trusted Frederick.
Once the artifact of a weapon was in his hands, he laid it against the castle wall. There was something off about the wall and I noticed a hole there. I eyed it warily for a few moments then returned my focus to Frederick.
"I thought we were supposed to train with weapons…?" I asked. Without Falchion to hide myself behind, I was exposed. I was uncomfortable.
He seemed to chuckle for a moment, making my worries worse, then said, "You really think I would let a child start with blades? No. What you are asking is the equivalent of asking an amateur to compose a full symphony for a court of nobles. Do you think an amateur could fulfill that task?"
"No but-"
"Try lifting Falchion." He pointed to the resting sword.
I scurried over and did as he said. I struggled. Falchion was heavier than I expected, I only dragged it all over the place, never really trying to hold it properly.
"Swing it." Commanded Frederick. I did as he said. With the momentum from swigging it backwards... I fell back on my head...
"Oof!" I grunted. I tried lifting Falchion back up from my bridge position but I struggled in vain. Keeping one hand on Falchion's hilt, I twisted myself back up.
Frederick rose a brow. My cheeks flushed.
"Again." He commanded and albeit embarrassed, I did.
Strike after strike, I'd only land on my front and back, my rear sticking up in the air sometimes. My arms became sore only after the fifth time.
I rubbed my wrists tiredly, letting out a small, annoyed grunt. How much longer was this supposed to go on for? More importantly, how much of a slave driver was he?
"How do you feel?" He asked after an eternity. "Exhausted?" I didn't look up at him and I wouldn't have called it exhausted maybe a bit worn out, but I nodded.
"Was your Falchion heavy?" I nodded again, more heat forming on my face.
"While you executed your strikes," He started slowly in a stern voice. "I could pick out over twenty flaws in your form." His words seemed to echo.
My heart sank. Twenty? I couldn't have made so many mistakes! There weren't that many factors going into swordplay, were there?
"B-but you're supposed to fix that right? You said so y-yourself, you're gonna mold me from clay and dust..." I persisted. He could do something. Sure, I didn't want to fight but I'd rather learn something than be useless.
He paused a moment. Taking a large inhale he said, "Yes it is my duty to teach you, and as your teacher I'm to have you learn. So tell me, what have you learned today?"
He really knew how to turn it back on me… I had to take a step back and think. What did I learn? I was bad at swinging a sword? He made me feel like a fool? I'd be a liability in a fight?
"I'm… I'd be dead in actual combat…" I said dejectedly. It made sense. I didn't have the strength to carry a sword much less the stamina to keep up a fight. Frederick reiterated my thoughts adding on how it was important to train my muscles first. It should have been obvious for me but I was thinking rashly. My one track mind would be the death of me someday.
And so, Frederick had me do ten push ups a day with ten sit ups, any exercise you could think of really, and he had me do them alongside ten long laps around the courtyard. My body would burn and ache after each session. The difficulty only increased too since Frederick decided he'd up the rounds by five every month. It didn't help I was near vomiting the first day, I could only wonder how much longer he wanted this to go on before actual weapon training. I mean, he was basically putting a little toddler through hell. Yes, the question truly was, how long?
Training never seemed to get easier. Each day ten of everything. Next week ten of everything. Second week the same, third the same and by the fourth I thought I was used to the exercises, and then it was the next month, when the exercises got harder. The cycle would repeat over and over and I found myself dreading the next day instead of being excited to learn from Ms. Maven.
I was falling further into sadness and no amount of training, learning or playing could really stop that.
I isolated myself and kept on reading my old books. I engrossed my mind with the adventures of Marth's army more than I ever had. It didn't make me anymore happy. I felt empty and dull. I couldn't seem to focus on anything for more than a minute. My curiosity was gone altogether, I knew enough and I didn't care for learning any more. Nothing seemed to hold meaning.
A knock on my door reminded me of the world outside my bedroom. I looked up from where I was reading on my bed, disinterested I looked back down to the large textbook. The knock came again. I huffed angrily and shoved my face into the pillow hoping to drive out the repeating noise.
"Lucina, may I come in?" A muffled voice came through the thin wall. I wanted to turn them away, to tell them, 'No you may not, I don't desire your presence, whoever you might be!' but even through the anger and annoyance, I was bored. Maybe they would be amusing and help get rid of some boredom?
I sighed loudly, enough for the person on the otherside to hear me no doubt. "Who is it?" I asked.
"It's Robin." He responded. I faltered a bit, I hadn't heard from Robin since last week when I was complaining to him about training. He kind of acted as my therapist. He listened to everyone's problems so I thought, why not, and spilled to him.
I put my book down and sat up. "Come in."
The door opened with Robin walking in like he was trying to hide something. He brought things with him occasionally when he came to visit, things like books to help me study or tomes for fun. He liked to demonstrate magic because he knew I liked it. It's hard to explain, but seeing the symbols and texts in the form of a magic circle then the magic itself firing was mesmerizing.
I raised an eyebrow at the large lump in Robin's sleeve. "What do you have this time?" I smiled expectedly.
Robin rubbed the back of his head. "Well we don't have much use of this in the army so I thought I would give it to you!" I held out my hands and was surprised by the weight coming from the small thing.
There weren't many pages in it but I suspected the large, brown covers gave it the mass. I flipped through the pages with mild interest. "Is this another history book?"
Robin shook his head still smiling giddily. "No, I did you one better. Look at the pages more closely."
I flipped back to the first page and saw a picture. I looked back at Robin. "Why are you in the book Robin?" I asked. His profile was there with a caption in large text. I looked at the next page and saw a profile of Uncle Lon'qu. Why was anyone in the book?
"This was the army's roster," He said, sounding mournful. "I don't think it will be of much use from now on, but I thought you would enjoy it. If you enjoyed Marth's army, I think you would enjoy your father's."
I was taken aback, my eyes were starting to sting. I laid my head in my hands and stared at the pages. "W-why would you..." My voice trailed off, cracking. My body started shaking.
"Here," Robin handed me a handkerchief. I wiped at my eyes and thanked him. He sat down on my bed beside me and flipped back to the first page where his picture was. "I'll teach you about the Shepherds."
He only taught me about the Shepherds and the roster once. He couldn't keep teaching me for he had a wife. He pointed her out in the roster that one time and I almost didn't recognize her. She was beautiful. I wasn't surprised Robin fell in love with her, and they were expecting a child along the way no less from what he told me. I didn't see him anymore after that. It was almost like he disappeared from thin air.
The following few weeks, Aunt Lissa visited more regularly with Uncle Lon'qu. I didn't understand at first but I saw the swelling lump on Aunt Lissa's belly. Uncle Lon'qu came with her because she couldn't go anywhere without him, they loved each other too much to leave either of themselves without the other. Puppy love. It was cute.
While I had the time, I made sure to hang around the two as much as possible. Aunt Lissa welcomed my company with open arms, her warm disposition drawing me to her, while Uncle Lon'qu was hesitant on my being there. He was still on guard around me and never really stayed in the same room as me for more than a minute or so, half an hour if Aunt Lissa was there as well. The man wouldn't loosen up despite the pleasant atmosphere in the castle. Maybe it was something outside then? Something like enemies resting in the country. I didn't hear much about the world outside the capitol, and I knew next to nothing about it, but maybe the Risen were approaching, or maybe it was something unexpected like Valm not being deterred by their leader's death, or Plegia. The leader, Vladmir or whatever, could he be making a move?
I decided not to stress too much about it even though it was quite important. I was only a trainee, there wasn't much for me to do except think. What I did do however wasn't as important as the urgency of another war only after his passing and the quickly fading morale of the Ylisseans, but it was important to me.
I needed to calm myself down first, so I took to the designated training room in the castle. It wasn't anything special, at least to me, but it had earthy coloured floor tiles, a light yellow wall painting, and numerous racks of wooden weapons leaning against the walls. The weapons were much too large for me to handle and there weren't many weapons that I could handle, but I dragged Falchion with me nonetheless. There was a nice wooden training dummy in the middle of the room and I intended to vent my frustrations to it. Swiping at the dummy was a fun yet exhausting way for me to release stress. It helped me so that there wasn't much to focus on but my burning muscles. It was quite contradictory considering training was one of the last things on my mind, but it was therapeutic in a sense.
I swung at the dummy, managing to chip it on its side, then swung down vertically, getting a deeper slice on its head. I swung at the torso and its sides multiple times. I swung near the neck, thrusting Falchion into where the windpipe would be, and then the heart. I repeated, and kept on swinging.
"Your form," I whipped my head around so fast, I thought I crained my neck. At the entrance of the training room was Uncle Lon'qu. It shouldn't have surprised me that he was there, but it just did. I didn't think anyone used the training room at this time, that's why I chose that time specifically.
I scowled. It was always my form! Form this, form that! What was it supposed to mean!? Were my arms too bent? My legs not bent enough?
"Yeah, what about it?" I spat. It was really starting to piss me off. I never had the form I should have, and I really knew I'd be dead in a real fight. I didn't want to be reminded of it. I felt as if I hit a wall and was struggling to recover.
Uncle Lon'qu's eyes seemed to widen for a moment before going back to normal. He coughed into his hand, crossed his arms, and said, "You're not putting your full force into it."
I raised a brow. Full force? I mostly landed on the non vital areas to tire out the enemy then striking for a final blow, or I thought I did at least. There was no point for full force in it, only quick jabs.
My puzzled look seem to come across to him, for he sighed and walked over to the dummy. "Here, it looks like I must demonstrate…" He muttered. "And leave me ample space!"
I took a few steps back reluctantly and stopped at his approving nod despite being nearly six feet away. I stepped a little closer to get a good look. He struck the dummy and I looked on in awe. He slashed with such overpowering force, alluring grace, and deadly precision! He didn't break any sweat and went on longer than I first thought. He turned his body so naturally, I was jealous.
His practice sword resembled a katana, I noticed. The wooden blade was clean and although Uncle Lon'qu was practically bisecting the dummy at every given turn, there was no clacking of wood whatsoever. It was impressive, a swordsman capable of striking with no sound. It was deadly.
Suddenly, he swung the training sword backwards almost touching my nose. I squeaked in fright. "H-hey!" I protested weakly. He could have come close to slicing me!
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with a slightly pink face. "What did I say about space?" He muttered more to himself than to me.
I shrugged, not really caring about his personal bubble of a yard. "But wow Uncle," I exclaimed excitedly, feeling the stars in my eyes. "that was amazing! Can you teach me?!" It wasn't the notion of combat that excited me, but if I had to learn I'd do it right and gaining as much skill as possible.
He grunted out something unintelligible and said, "Isn't Frederick teaching you swordplay?" He picked at the wooden sword's hilt uncomfortably.
I frowned and nodded. "Well yeah, but we're not starting actual swordplay until he's satisfied with my own physical prowess…" I looked at my feet, muttering, "which isn't that great honestly…" I brightened again, determined to get him to teach me. "But you can help, can't you Uncle Lon'qu? You can train me too!"
His teeth clenched from annoyance. It hurt a bit knowing he was annoyed with me, but this was something I really wanted. "Are you that insistent on ending your training with Frederick so early? Are you giving up so soon?" He scowled.
I shrunk back instinctively. He could be pretty intimidating. "N-no!" I protested. "I want to be as strong as I can be! Just because Frederick hasn't taught me anything worthwhile yet doesn't mean I'm gonna give up!" There was more I wanted to add, although my throat tightened up.
Uncle Lon'qu turned his back on me so I couldn't see his expression after my outburst. His shoulders sagged with his sigh, and I was expecting the worst. I bet I wasn't going to learn squat from him no matter how much I pleaded.
"Are you going to try what I showed you or not?"
My eyes widened. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth and ran over to the training dummy. "Right!"
For the rest of the day, I practiced my sword strikes with Uncle Lon'qu and got pointers from him. It was difficult and fun at the same time. Despite his nature, Uncle Lon'qu was extremely helpful and encouraging in his own unique way. He was there. He was preparing me for the time ahead.
A few things to be addressed in this chapter! First off, Frederick! I imagine he wouldn't start training a potential soldier with a weapon so early, especially how young Lucina is. She shouldn't be learning yet by all means, but the council is pushing her. Second, the roster! It probably seems like an advantage on her side, but it is quite the opposite and will be included in later chapters. Thirdly, Lon'qu teaching Lucina and his gynophobia! I think if Lissa was pregnant, despite Chrom being gone, she would want to give birth in Ylisse near her friends like Maribelle and Sumia, probably being like a second sister by then. Lon'qu teaching Lucina first seems like second nature since they're related and I wanted to expand their relationship. His gynophobia shouldn't really apply to her to the extent it has on women since she's a child, but should apply a bit since she is a girl. Frederick and Lon'qu should both be impressed with her intelligence if not for her skills in combat.
I think that's all for this chapter!
Also, Fire Emblem If, or that's what I think people are calling it, is pretty hype! That's what the question in this chapter will be about!
Question: If you could only do one playthrough of the newest Fire Emblem, which side would you choose: Hoshido or Nohr?
My answer: Both of them look promising, but I think I'd choose Nohr. It sounds more underhanded, and looks like it'd play with my heartstrings, but it sounds interesting!
Reviews are love and motivation!