255

Designed Intent

Chapter 53

Sunday Afternoon

"Hi, Mom," Bobby said as the couple entered his mother's room.

Frances looked up from the children's book she was reading and lit up, "You're here! Oh, come in, come in! Look, Christian, Mommy and Daddy are here."

Gleason stopped dead and Bobby put his hand on her shoulder, gave an encouraging squeeze and Gleason continued.

"Bobby, get the chair for Gleason and pull over Sylvia's for you. That's it. I was just reading this book to Christian. You know, Bobby, I was upset when you paid money for these instead of getting them free at the library, but now, I think you were smart. Christian loves these books, especially this one. If they were from the library, you would have had to return them by now."

Frances Goren looked old. Bobby noticed that she did not try to get up when they entered as she usually did. She looked frail and her voice was thinner.

"You feeling ok, Mom?" he asked.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine. This little one here keeps me young, right Sweet Pea?" Mrs. Goren looked down to her right – at a height where a three-year old would stand.

Bobby and Gleason watched his mother appear to listen and then nod. Then she smiled and said, "We'll finish it later. I want to talk with your Daddy and Mommy right now. You go play for a bit. Ok? That's my Sweet Pea." Then, she turned her attention back to the couple sitting and staring at her. "There, he's gone off to play so we can talk."

"Mrs. Goren, what do you and the little boy talk about?" Gleason asked. She was eager to learn more about this child. He was no longer a hallucination in Gleason's mind.

"Oh my, lots of things, Dear. Why, we talk about Bobby when he was a little boy." Mrs. Goren looked lovingly at her son. "I tell him what we used to do. Remember, Bobby, how you and Frank would help me in the library? You would push the cart and Frank and I would reshelf the books. I remember how you wanted to place the books back into the space, but you were too little. You did like to push that cart, though. Remember?"

Bobby nodded silently.

"What does he say to you?" Gleason asked.

"Not much. He is a quiet little boy. That is why I am so glad you got us these books, Bobby. Oh, Christian does like when I read to him. I wish he would sit on my lap though. Or, let me feel his curls. He does not like me to touch him. I think he's shy that way."

"Is he around all the time?"

"Honey, let's tell Mom about your surgery," Bobby interrupted. He knew that Gleason wanted to find out all she could about this child and he did not want her to fixate on it. To be honest, he didn't want to know more lest that knowledge corroborate what he feared might be true.

"Surgery? What surgery? Gleason are you all right, Dear? Tell me."

Gleason shot Bobby a look and knew he did not want her to pursue talking about the child. "I'm fine, Mrs. Goren. I have a pacemaker now."

"A pacemaker? Old people have pacemakers! What's wrong with your heart? Mrs. Engstrom, down the hall has a pacemaker and she is as old as the hills. You're too young. Why did they give you a pacemaker for goodness sake?"

"Gleason's heart has been irregular for a while now. The pacemaker will keep her going at a steady rhythm. You feel better now, right?" Bobby reached for her hand.

"Yes, I feel better than I have in a long time."

"And, my girl will be home for four weeks, Mom."

Gleason smiled at Mrs. Goren's look of surprise. "Four weeks? That is a month! Whatever for? What about teaching? Who is going to teach those kids? You cannot just leave those kids without a teacher. That is a big responsibility, you know, being a teacher. Are you sure you should be home for four weeks? You say you feel good, why four weeks? That sounds like a long time to me. You should go back and teach those kids you said you would teach. You do not want to leave them in the lurch like that. Gleason, they need you. You should –"

"Mom, Mom – it's ok. The doctor said Gleason needs to heal. Her heart had a leak that needed to be fixed as well. She needs the time to heal. It's ok; the school has her classes covered."

Bobby's mother tended to perseverate on a topic and sometimes needed an intervention to break the chatter. He bent the truth a bit about the tear in the patch as his mother did not know about the shooting last spring. More importantly, Bobby didn't feel angry or upset at his mom this time. Beforehand, she would get under his skin when she went on and on and he would get upset. He was fine.

"Well, so long as the kids are learning," Mrs. Goren added. She looked over at the drape and smiled. "You silly thing! I see you! Come say hi to your Mommy and Daddy. Come on, come over here."

Gleason stared at the drapes, searched everywhere, but saw nothing but drapes. "What is he doing, Mrs. Goren?"

"That Sweet Pea is ducking behind the drapes, playing peek-a-boo. I can see you, Chris, I can see you."

Bobby's heart jumped when he heard his mother call the hallucination "Chris."

"He's shy, he won't come over here. So, what about you, Bobby, what have you been up to?"

Bobby told his mother about the Bandelli trial and she was fascinated. Gleason said little more; she kept searching for anything that would tell her the child was real. She knew he was not, but the dreams still clung to her.

After about an hour, the couple left. They drove to Churchill, looked around, bought nothing, had lunch and then headed for home. It was dark when they parked and they walked to the apartment hand-in-hand.

As they settled into bed, Gleason asked Bobby, "Do you think we'll dream again?"

"If we do, I hope we're both naked and sweaty," he smiled at her.

"You know what I mean."

"Honey, let it go. Ok? Let's just go to sleep." He kissed her gently and they snuggled in their way.

Again, Gleason fell asleep first and Bobby lay wondering about the dreams, his mother's hallucination, how frail she looked, Gleason's feelings, his own feelings. Eventually, he slept as well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tian? Tian, where are you? Tian!" Gleason called. She searched everywhere but could not find him. "Tian! Where are you?" She walked through the field, toward the stone wall. "Tian, come to Mummy. Tian?"

She felt her panic rise. Where is he? Where is he? Tears filled her eyes and she continued to call him. "Tian?"

Bobby turned over at the first whimper she made. Then the whimpers escalated into mumbles and then into a shout. "Honey, wake up. Gleason, wake up. Gleason!"

Gleason shot awake with, "Where is he?!"

"Honey, you were dreaming. You were dreaming." He smoothed the hair from the side of her face and looked at her. He saw the tears. "What were you dreaming?" He knew what it was. "Tell me."

"He's lost, Bobby. He's gone. I was looking and looking and calling and calling, but he's gone."

"Gleason, it was just a dream. No one is lost. Sweetheart, it was a dream."

She looked at him and wanted to believe him, but she knew the little boy, Christian, was their son. She nodded and he bent to kiss her.

"Go back to sleep, Honey. I love you."

"Uh huh," she mumbled and turned over and was immediately asleep.

Surprisingly, Bobby was asleep as well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We'll find him, Honey. Chris! Chris, where are you?" Bobby held tight to Gleason's hand as they trudged through the field. He didn't want to think their son had gone into the corn across the road. He could be lost for days wandering up and down the rows. "Chris!"

"Bobby he's just a little boy. He's only three! Where is he? Tian! Tian, come to Mummy. Tian?" She began to cry.

"Gleason, when we get to the stone wall, I want you to wait there for me. I'm going to look for him in the corn."

Gleason stopped in her tracks, "Oh God, Bobby, do you think he went into the corn? We'll never find him! Tian!"

"Gleason, calm down. We'll find him. We'll find him."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------