So, the party didn't go as well as I'd hoped.

It started off great, which should've tipped me off, as these things never start off great. Sherlock had actually picked out a really nice dress, much to my surprise . It was long and red and had a pretty low back but it had long sleeves so that balanced it out. It was also slightly stretched from when John tried it on, but I could live with that.

The problems arose with the shoes. "You want me to wear those?"

Sherlock tilted his head slightly. "You like these types of shoes."

I threw a lip liner at him and then realized I needed it back. "You got me stripper heels!"

"The woman at the shop told me they were special occasion shoes."

"Did she wink at you lecherously after she said that?"

A pause. "I assumed she had something in her eye."

I threw my arms up in exasperation. "After this, I'm getting you laid."

"While I'm flattered by your interest, I -"

"Not by me!"

"Than by who?"

"I don't know! John?"

John paused on his way to the kitchen. "What about me?"

I pivoted to face him, ignoring his suddenly wide eyes when he saw me. Thanks. "John, darling, would you or would you not have sex with your flat mate?"

He blushed. "Well, er, I appreciate the offer and everything, but-"

I threw my hands in the air again. "Not me! Jesus, why does everyone think I'm propositioning them today?"

Sherlock spoke up. "Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are currently in only lace underclothes and an open dressing gown."

I spun back toward him with one hand on my hip and poked him in the chest with the other. "There is no room for your logic and reasoning in this household."

"Tell that to the bills it pays."

"John pays the bills! And I pay my own!"

"Just put on the shoes!"

"No!"

"John!"

John threw his hands up. "Just fuck already!"

We slowly swiveled toward him. I smiled sweetly and stepped forward. "Care to repeat that, darling?"

There's something about making a military man cower that makes you feel empowered. Is this what Adler feels like?

I went and put the dress on, along with the stripper heels. May as well play.

When we got back, I fell straight onto Sherlock's bed.

Sherlock hovered over me disapprovingly. "You had sex with the Woman."

I nodded into his pillow, my throat too tired.

He crossed his arms. "You also, somehow, managed to get a flash drive from between her breasts and swallow it without her knowing."

I lifted my head and croaked. "It wasn't between her breasts."

He tilted his head. "Than where-?"

I looked pointedly at his crotch.

His eyes widened. "What was your mouth-"

I raised an eyebrow.

He made a rather uncomfortable face before basically running from the room. "Brush your teeth!"

I snorted and took the flash drive, which was now not disgustingly covered in bodily fluids, from my bra and smiled before going to the living room and dropping it down Sherlock's collar. I then went to the bathroom on still wobbly legs, brushed my teeth, showered, and went to bed.